Mmmm!! Yummy, yummy! What’s that smell? My eyes instantly opened itself widely as that delicious smell invaded my nose. Still half asleep, I walked towards where the smell is coming from. I maybe half asleep but food is still food. And I love food. Wherever I go, whenever I go and with whomever I go food will always accompany me. It’ll never leave me. Like how Jaejoong is before he decided to move to America and ignore my feelings.

“Good morning sunshine!” Yunho voice greeted me as I walked inside the kitchen.

“Oppa?” I brushed my eyes to make my view clearer. Wow! It is Yunho oppa who’s cooking. It smells a hundred times delicious now. Hahaha!

“What are you doing?”

“Cooking a breakfast for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes my dear princess. Who else?” I blushed when he called me princess. Like usual, Yunho chuckled and tapped my head while murmuring “Kieopta!”

“You don’t need to do this for me oppa”, I can take care of myself.

“No. I need to. Remember I promise you that I’ll bake a cheese cake for you? Well since I can’t bake cheese cake since it’s not appropriate for breakfast, I’m doing this instead.” I was really shock that he remembered the promise he make to me.

“Why are you looking at me like that ~~~~~~~-ah?”

“Nothing”, I quickly snapped out from it.

“It’s just that you remember the promise?”

“Of course I do! I remember everything about us.”

I was only able to smile. I feel bad now because I always thought that he had forgotten everything. Just like how I used to think about Jaejoong and I have proven wrong TWICE! I really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Some people may look cold and biting outside but inside, they are kind and heart warming and so as the vice versa.

“It’s set!” Yunho cheered as he finished arranging all the food on the dining table.

“Oppa, it looks good!” Everything looks good when you’re hungry. Don’t know why but I’m always hungry these days.

“Dig in then!”

“Ok!” I quickly sat.

“Jal mokeseumnida!” And I started eating, eating and eating. I weren’t able to stop. The image of Seul Ki walking down the isle while Yunho is waiting for her at the end of it suddenly appeared in my mind and I started shoving more food down my throat. I’m so going to get fat! Fatty ~~~~~~~~! That’s sounds cute! Hahaha!

“~~~~~~~~-ah….” I started eating and looked at Yunho.

“Wea yo oppa?”

“I understand it now….”

“Huh?” Understand what?

“You eat when something’s upsetting you….”

“Oh! That!” I took a deep breath and drew a smile on my face.

“Actually, I eat all the time. It doesn’t matter weather I’m sad or happy it’s just that I eat more when I’m sad”, and Yunho sighed. He’s feeling guilty.

“Oppa, you shouldn’t feel bad or anything. I’m fine. I already learn that the best way to hold on to something is…. to let it go”, finally a smile curved on Yunho’s face.

“We have a big problem here”, Yunho suddenly get serious.

“What? What?” I didn’t see any problem!

“I have to stop calling you kiddo because you’re a grown up now” and both of us smiled.

“I told you I wasn’t a kid oppa.”

“Yeah and I heard you the first time but still, you’re always a kiddo for me.”

“And you’re always an oldie for me”, Yunho laughed.

“Whatever you say princess”, oh God! I’m gonna miss him calling me that.

“Let’s eat oppa!” Without even care about whatever going to happen next, I eat and keep on eating until I feel like going throw up which doesn’t seem to happen at all. I think Changmin’s food addiction is now infected by me. Well I don’t mind it because eating is fun! No wonder he likes food so much. Who wouldn’t right?

After breakfast, we started getting ready to get back. Yunho has a lot of work to do. His wedding is just around the corner. But I wonder something; Yunho and Seul Ki are still young so why do they want to get married so fast? I mean can’t you guys wait after the both of you finishes college first? If I were them, I’ll focus on my study first and after I graduate and have a steady job, only then I will get married but hey, it’s true love were talking about here! Nothing seems to matter anymore isn’t it?

The journey back home was really fun. Yunho and I chit chat, laugh, sing and do many dorky stuff. It is proven that Yunho is just as dork as I am. I always knew there’s a dorkiness inside of that wise and grown up image of his. He just needs someone like me to bring it out. I’m so happy to see him enjoying himself like this. This might be our last memory together and it makes me feel good to know that when I think about Yunho, I’ll think about his happy face at the end.

“Wow! Nice house”, Yunho was astonished by the house. Everyone is. I’m so glad appa buy this house.

“Wanna stop by? I bet they will be happy to see you.”

“Sure! Why not.”

“Gaja!” And both of us walked inside the house.

“Hey! I’m home!” I announced as I walked inside the living room. In a blink of an eye, all of them went to the living room.

“Oppa!” ~~~~~~~~ called out for Jaejoong as she saw him but he didn’t respond. In fact, he walked away. Yoochun who was behind him smiled a little and did the same.

“~~~~~~~~-ah, thank God you’re ok!” Jooyeon unnie hugged me tightly. I smiled. I can see how much my sister love me now.

“Did you have fun?” Taeyang, the most understanding people so far asked me. I nodded eagerly.

“Good”, he tapped my head and walked away.

“~~~~~~~~, you have to tell us everything!” Jessica rushed towards me with Sunny.

“Where have you been? What you’ve been doing? Every single thing!”

“Arasseo. I’ll tell you guys later ok?”

“Yunho oppa, you better go and see Seul Ki unnie. Even though she doesn’t show it but I think she’s worried about you”, Yunho nodded at Sunny’s words. He looked at me and smiled.

“I better go now.”

“Yeah. You should”, Yunho turned around and was about to leave but then he stopped. Slowly he turned around to face me.

“See you tomorrow?” His eyes were hoping that I answered yes. I quickly nodded. The end is near and I’ll use every last minute I have to be with you Yunho.

After Yunho’s gone from my sight, I quickly walked back to my room with Sunny, Jessica and Jooyeon unnie. They wanted to hear about my time with Yunho. Both Sunny and Jessica is excited and went all happy to hear my story but not Jooyeon unnie. She looked at me differently. It was as if she felt sorry for me. Why? Unnie, I’m fine. Why should you feel sorry for me? I can accept that Yunho is not mine unnie. I’m totally fine with it. Ok, that’s a lie. Of course I’m not totally fine with it. It’s crazy if I am but I can accept the truth now. Yunho is just not for me. Maybe God has other plans for me. Maybe, I don’t know.

“Where did you guys go?” Jessica started interrogating me.

“Yunho’s parents vacation house. It’s really beautiful.”

“OMG! Only the two of you?!”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my! That is so romantic!” Jessica squeaked which makes all of us laughed.

“Did you sleep together?” Sunny’s question almost gave me a heart attack.

“Of course not! We do sleep beside each other but not that kind of sleep”, my cheeks started to burned and they laughed at me. Aish!

“Thank God you didn’t! He’s going to get married soon”, I nodded. Never once in my mind that I ever think about ruining his happiness. His happiness is mine so why would I want to parish my own happiness.

“What else did you guys do?”

“Well, mostly sleep. On our way towards the house, I fell asleep and as I woke up, I saw Yunho asleep at the couch so I got up and wondered around. I stopped for a while at the living room and enjoy the most breath taking scene I have ever seen, the sunset. Gosh! It was beautiful”, the image of the sunset appeared and even now I’m still captivate by its beauty.

“After that I cook dinner. Wake Yunho oppa up and we started eating. While eating, we talked about stuff and after that we slept at the sofa in the living room. He embraced me so tight that make me felt so save inside of his strong arms. In the end, we ended up sleeping in the position”, I smiled. Wish I could turn back time and stop at that moment.

“That is so romantic!” This time, Sunny squeaked.

“In the morning, I woke up and saw Yunho already cook breakfast for me. We ate and talk some more. After that hop in the car and went back here”, now that I think of it, it was a really short but meaningful journey for us.

“Did you have fun ~~~~~~~~--ah?” Jooyeon unnie carefully smiled at me like she was holding her feelings deep inside.

“Yup!”

“I hope you’ll be able to forget him and move on after this.” I could only nod.

“I can’t promise you anything but I’ll try”, Jooyeon unnie suddenly hugged me. I was caught off guard. What’s wrong with Jooyeon unnie?

“Be strong….” Her soft words melted through my ears. I will. Don’t worry unnie.

TIME passed by so fast and today is Yunho’s wedding day. I couldn’t sleep all night long and now I looked like a zombie. Crap! I’m the bride’s maid so I cannot look like this! Aish! I quickly called Jessica and asked her to fix my face as best as she could and shockingly, she was able to make it look better than my usual face. One thing that Jung Jessica is good at is makeover!

After the Jessica is done, I quickly changed into my bride’s maid outfit. I looked at myself in the mirror. Wah! I look beautiful! I always look beautiful but today, I was magnificently beautiful! Thanks to Jessica and the bride’s maid outfit. It makes me look like an angel. There’s a chance that I might match up to Seul Ki unnie and Jooyeon unnie’s beautifulness.

I walked to the living room as soon as I’m ready. I want to see people’s opinion on me. As soon as I arrived there, Top, Siwon, Daesung, Seungri, Jiyong, Taeyang, Changmin and Junsu’s jaws literally dropped to the floor. I giggled at their expression. I guess I am that beautiful huh? This makes me felt a lot better. The guy I love is getting married and I’m being the bride’s maid and all nearly gotten me crazy so knowing that I look good eased the craziness a bit.

“Hey! What are you gu-“ Yoochun stopped on his tracks as he saw me. Yoochun looked at me from head to toe.

“~~~~~~~~-ah….you…you…” I couldn’t help but to laughed. I make the top player of Korea stuttered. Hahaha! I must be damn beautiful right now!

“Yah! Why are you guys looking like that huh?!” Jaejoong who hasn’t noticed me yelled at those boys.

“There”, Junsu pointed at me.

“What?” Jaejoong swiftly looked at me and his eyes ALMOST popped out.

“Is that you ~~~~~~~~-ah?!” It seems like he just saw something unbelievable!

“Yes!”

“Whoa! You’re hot!”

“And you just noticed it now?” All the guys nodded. I sighed in frustration. Guess I wasn’t that beautiful before this.

“Wait! I taught Seul Ki nuna and Yunho hyung is getting married but why are you looking so beautiful today? It’s not like you’re the bride. You’re only the bride’s maid”, Daesung said.

“Yup!” Changmin agreed with him. Aish! Stupid boys!

“There are two reasons why. One is that I can mask my true feeling with this look. Second, I look like a corpse without all of this”, I gestured my whole body.

“Eh? How is it make up and beautiful gown can make you mask your true feelings?” Top scratch his head.

“Because when I look good, I have a high self confidence. And when I have a high self confidence, I can literally do anything which now is masking my feelings. Understand?”

“Owh….” All of them nodded at once.

“So you’re ready?” Jaejoong asked.

“Yup.”

“Gaja!”

“Arasseo”, Jaejoong, Yoochun and I walked out and climbed in the car which than zoomed off to the wedding hall.

Jaejoong and Yoochun had agreed to stop killing each other to protect me for this day. I really felt special when they told me about their decision to be my bodyguard for this day. I maybe have a very bad luck in love, but I have luck with everything else around me. I have people who love and care about me and that is more then enough for me. I really should stop whining about how awful my life is. My life isn’t awful. It’s just not yet great. That’s all.

“Where’s Jooyeon unnie?” I asked as I realized she wasn’t home since the moment I woke up.

“She’s already there”.

“Oh!” That’s fast. Lately, Jooyeon unnie had been acting strangely weird. She had been protecting me more then usual. I know she’s worried about me but even that doesn’t explain her unusual behavior. She wasn’t like this at the graduation ceremony.

“Can I know why unnie’s being acting weird lately?” Both of them kept quiet and looked away.

“Guys, what’s up?” I know something is wrong! I mean they’re sitting together in this car when before this they wanted to kill each other every time they lay their eyes on each other.

“Nothing! Just relax. Everything is fine”, Yoochun smiled to assured me. I just shook the suspicious off and started to think.

What if I’m not able to control myself when Yunho and Seul Ki get married? How can I put up a smile when the man I love is marrying someone else? Am I that strong that I’m able to mask my pain? What am I saying? I’m Lee ~~~~~~~~! I’ve gone through harsh stuff and I’m still able to put on a smile. I can do it. I just need to think about the happiness that waits for Yunho. Seeing his happy face, seeing his charming smile makes all the pain worth a while.

I recall the first time my heart act all weird when I saw him. It was after I get that stupid dream. I sighed. Why does that dream have to appear? If only that dream never invaded my sleep, all of this wouldn’t happen. But if that dream never came, I wouldn’t know about Jaejoong and Jooyeon unnie’s feeling. I will keep hurting them. I guess there’s a reason why God send that dream to me. So that I’ll move on and let Jaejoong and Jooyeon unnie taste happiness.

But what about me? Since that dream came, I suffered a lot. Don’t I deserve happiness? Is suffering is the only thing suits me? It couldn’t be right? I mean everyone deserve to be happy once in a while. Maybe fate is trying to tell me something. Sadly I haven’t figure out what fate is trying to tell me. Aish! This is why I wish I was my sister. She always figures out things faster than I am.

“Gaja ~~~~~~~~-ah!” Yoochun handed me his hand. I quickly woke up from my day dream. We’re here already? Now that’s fast! I looked up at Yoochun.

“You’ll be fine”, it’s like he could read my mind. I just smiled and took his hand.

All three of us headed to the wedding hall as soon as Jaejoong locked the car. There were a lot of people running around here and there and most of the guest is here. Damn! This place is crowded. I guess Seul Ki and Yunho wanted this wedding to be great so they invited many people. I could see some of the seniors which are Yunho’s friends. “~~~~~~~-ah!” I heard one VERY familiar voice. I turned around to saw Teacyeon oppa smiling at me.

“Oppa!” I jumped and hugged him tightly. I don’t know why but I felt so relieved seeing him here.

“Wow! Did you miss me too much?”

“Umhm!” I nodded. Teac oppa smiled and hold me tighter.

“How are you doing? Are you holding up?” I smiled at that question. I guessed Jooyeon unnie told him about me and Yunho. She tells him EVERYTHING!

“Yup, I’m fine”, well at least I tried to be.

“It’s ok ~~~~~~~-ah. No matter what happen, just hold up. It’ll be fine when it ended.”

“Will it?” I whispered to myself. When Jaejoong went to US, I taught it’ll end but it didn’t. The feeling grow much wider until the day Yunho came. I’m not sure it’ll end.

“Even if it doesn’t, you’ll be able to through this.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re Lee ~~~~~~~.” I smiled. Yup! I AM the one and ONLY Lee ~~~~~~~~. Nothing could bring me down.

“Gomawo oppa”, I broke the hugged and smiled.

“You’re welcome now go do your thing!” Both of us mouthed fighting and I walked away with Yoochun while Jaejoong stayed there for awhile. I saw Teac oppa whispered something to Jaejoong and Jaejoong just nodded. I wonder what’s wrong.

“~~~~~~~~-AH!!!!” Seul Ki unnie hugged me as soon as I walked in the bride’s personal room.

“Chukahe unnie!” I let out my best fake smile ever! I don’t want to show my true feelings. It would only hurt more people.

“Let me introduce you to my friends”, Seul Ki unnie dragged me towards her friends as soon as we broke the hugged.

“Girls, this is ~~~~~~~. The one I’ve been telling you guys about”, all her friends eyed me. Somehow I felt uneasy.

“Annyeonghesayo. Lee ~~~~~~~ imnida”, I bowed and smiled.

“So this is the girl who tried to take Yunho from you huh Seul Ki?” I flinched as the girl with long wavy hair said.

“Yah! Se Kyung-ah, behave! ~~~~~~~ didn’t try to take Yunho away from me. Actually, she’s the one who make this marriage possible. If it wasn’t because of her, Yunho wouldn’t be mine now.”

“Girls, don’t treat ~~~~~~~ like that. It wasn’t her fault”, the girl with optimistic face back me up. Thank God there are some people at my side.

“Sorry. I just get carried away”, Se Kyung said and left the room. What’s with her?

“Ignore her. Yunho used to be her boyfriend so obviously she couldn’t think straight when her ex is marrying her bestfriend”, the other girl with sweet angelic face said. I nodded and smiled.

“So ~~~~~~~~ right? I’m Hanbyul. You can call me Hanbyul unnie”, the angelic face said.

“And I’m In Na. You can call me In Na unnie. I have a feeling we’ll get along just greatly”, the bright face smiled.

“Btw ~~~~~~~-ah, you look gorgeous!” She squeked making my cheek burned up. Aish!

“Yah! She’s so cute!” And the both of them pinched my cheeks which led all of us to burst out laughing. It felt good now that I know I’m lovable by many people. Hahaha!

As I was busy getting ready for the marriage ceremony, Jooyeon unnie came and told me that Yunho want to see me at the pool. Quietly I slipped out and met him there. Gosh! He was looking awesomely hot. As always. The tuxedo he was wearing makes him look tall, muscular and just mainly hot. Gosh! If I didn’t know he was going to get married, I would kidnap him and runaway. Hahaha!

“Oppa, you look awesome!” Yunho smiled.

“You look great to.”

“I know!” We laughed and suddenly things become awkward. I didn’t know what to say and so does he. We haven’t been talking to each other for few days and it felt rather weird to be her just the two of us.

“How are you?” That’s a stupid question to ask when you see me like EVERYDAY for the past few days.

“Fine”, at least that’s what I think.

“Good.”

“You oppa?”

“Never been better”, figures! He’s getting married to his greatest love ever for heaven’s sake!

“Chukahe oppa!”

“Gomawo ~~~~~~~-ah.” And things become awkward again. What’s going on with us?

“I-“ Both of us said at the same time which makes us laughed.

“You first ~~~~~~~-ah”, Yunho said.

“What I want to say is…. Please be happy oppa. If you’re happy, I’m sure I’ll be too”, I’ll try to be actually. Yunho laughed.

“What so funny?”

“I was going to say the same thing to you ~~~~~~~-ah”, wow! We have psychic connection huh? Cool!

“I’ll promise you I’ll be happy oppa. Now can you excuse me? I need to go fine Jooyeon unnie”, I was about to go when Yunho hugged me from behind.

“Uh!” I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to do.

“Stay. Stay like this for awhile”, he was literally begging.

“Oppa, what would people say if they saw us like this?”

“I don’t care”, I sighed. What if Yunho’s cranky ex saw us? She might kill me.

“I hurt you a lot ~~~~~~~. And I never get the chance to redeem myself. I’m so sorry ~~~~~~~~-ah. I couldn’t do anything for you anymore.”

“Aniyo oppa. You’ve given me a lot oppa. If you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t realize how lucky am I to be myself. You helped me understand that I’m better than what I taught. And the most important thing is, you let me learn how to let go”, Yunho slowly let go of his gripped and I turned around and face him.

“Jalgayo ne sarang”, I kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked away living him all alone. It’s time ~~~~~~~-ah. It’s time to let go.

The wedding ceremony started few minutes after I left Yunho at the pool. As usual, the groom was waiting at the end of the isle and his best men and the bride’s maid walked in. Yoochun was one of his best men. Knowing that he’s there, makes me felt so much better. Not only him, I have Jooyeon unnie, Jaejoong, Sunny, Jessica, Changmin, Junsu, Jiyong, Taeyang, Siwon, Top, Daesung, Seungri and Teacyeon oppa. Everyone’s there collect their energy and send it to me hoping it’ll help me through this harsh moment.

The song that people played when the bride’s walked in started. All eyes went to Seul Ki unnie who’s slowly walking in with her dad. One thing I have to admit, she’s beautiful. So beautiful that I felt ugly next to her. As a women, I have so many weakness. Trust me! I know! But as a teenage girl who had been through one sided love more than once, I’m flawless. No one can act happy when inside they’re dying better than me. No one can accept the fact that the one they love isn’t made for them then me.

Seul Ki unnie arrived at the end of the isle. “Take care of my daughter”, Seul Ki’s dad said as he handed his daughter to Yunho. “I will abeonim” and they both faced the priest. The priest started giving speech about marriage and all and all of us listened to it intensely except for me. I was busy controlling my emotions. Don’t want to let it flow too much and don’t want to let it be kept too long.

“Will you, Jung Yunho, accept Bea Seul Ki as your wife and be with her through health and sickness?” The question finally is asked by the priest. I looked at Yunho oppa. He seemed so happy. I felt guilty for wishing he would say no.

“I do”, my heart started to flinched in pain. Be strong ~~~~~~~-ah. Be strong….

“Will you, Bea Seul Ki, accept Jung Yunho as your husband and be with her through health and sickness?” The priest asked Seul Ki.

“I do”, my breathing becomes hard. It felt so hard to breathe. I just acted all fine.

“You may kiss the bride”, as soon as the priest announced, Yunho laid his lips on Seul Ki and they are officially married. Everyone cheered for them. So did I but inside, only God knows.

“Chukahe!” I could hear everyone congratulate them as they walked down the isle. I wasn’t able to move and went stiff at that place while eyeing the newly wed in front of me who seemed so happy. Tears were arguing to come out but I hold it in. I can’t cry. No! I shouldn’t cry. It’s time to let go ~~~~~~~~-ah. It’s the real end now. No more Yunho and you. He’s someone’s husband now. There’s nothing you can do anymore. Just let him go. The best way to hold on to something is to let it go.

“~~~~~~~~….” Yoochun carefully touched me. I flinched.

“~~~~~~~~-ah, gwenchana?” Yoochun looked at me in concern. I didn’t answer him. All I did was looked at Yunho and wished time would heal the pain.

Starting from that moment, I loose apart of myself. I was able to mask my pain at Yunho’s wedding day but by doing that, I lost some part of me. I wasn’t like how I usually am. When I send Yunho and Seul Ki at the airport along with others, I smiled, laughed and act all fine but as soon as he’s gone, everything ended. I didn’t talk to anyone anymore. I kept myself away from others and kept quiet. Like something’s wrong. I couldn’t find what it is.

Everyone was so worried about me especially Jooyeon unnie. She did everything that she could to change me back but nothing works. All I did was stared at her. One night, I found her crying in her room. It really pains me to see her like that but I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t get a hold of myself. Feeling rather guilty, I walked in and sat next to her. Jooyeon unnie hugged me tightly.

“~~~~~~~~-ah, mianhae. If only I let you have Jaejoong, this wouldn’t have happen. It was my fault. And I should’ve prevented you from loving Yunho when I knew about your feelings towards him but I didn’t. I was thinking if you’re with Yunho, I could have Jaejoong. Why was I so selfish? I can’t believe myself. I’m your unnie. I’m the one who should protect you but instead I let you get hurt”, I didn’t reply nor did I do anything. Instead I just let her cry.

“It was my fault for not helping you get Yunho’s love. I should’ve at least try….” Aniyo unnie. It’s my fault. I was the one who’s not able to make him love me like how I love him.i was the one who fall for him at first place. This had got nothing to do with you. I’m the one who’s at fault here.

“~~~~~~~~-ah, mianhae. Unnie never wanted to hurt you. Please, you understand me right?” And I nodded and left. Something’s wrong with me. I need to find a way to find myself back if not, I might loose it forever.

That night, Jaejoong took me out. I didn’t argue and just let him do what he wanted. After a few minutes riding the car, finally we arrived at a place call Paradise Ranch. Jaejoong took me in and we ride a horse. He was sitting at the front while controlling the horse while I was at the back. At first, it was quiet horse riding. None of us said anything. It surprises me that Jaejoong didn’t talk. I mean he ALWAYS has something to talk about.

After a while suddenly tears started pouring out of my eyes. I lay my head on Jaejoong’s back and cried. The pain was too much that I couldn’t bear it anymore. I act as if I’m ok but the truth is I’m not. And because I act too much, I loose apart of me. I couldn’t let my feelings free which ended up caging my own self. It was better to cry. By crying, I’ll be able to accept the truth that Yunho is no longer here. Not besides me and around me. He’s gone now.

I should let him go. No matter how painful it is, I have to. Having him next to me can cause a very much pain but I still wanted him besides me. Now, loosing him might kill me but I shouldn’t hold on to him anymore. It’s good enough that I have him in my heart. I have to move on. I did promise that I’ll be happy for Yunho. No! I should start be happy for myself now. Like I said before, Yunho is no longer here.

But living without Yunho would be hard. Really hard. I tried it once. I taught I succeeded but no. I failed. The emptiness inside my heart ate me. I was becoming somehow heartless. What makes this time different? Will I be able to start living without him? Moving on is hard, forgetting is much harder. Trying to forget someone you know is like trying to remember someone you never meet. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to forget yourself. Could I do it?

I don’t know why fate is so cruel to me. Yeah, it’s trying to teach me something but what? What is it? And why does it have to put me through all this? Is it fun playing with my heart like this? Is it trying to try my emotion? Trying to see how strong I am and how long can I handle hard situation like this? Well if it is, then it should stop because I don’t have anymore strength to stand it anymore. I’m tired, hurt and I felt like dying. Isn’t that good enough for it to stop messing with me?

“Oppa….” After a while, finally I said something. That was my first word after being quiet this few days.

“Yes”, Jaejoong sounded really calm.

“Why….why is this all had to happen to me? I don’t get it….”

“Don’t you know? Fate is trying to teach you something ~~~~~~~~-ah. Something you didn’t get from the last time you were hurt like this….”

“What is it oppa? Tell me.”

“It wanted you to learn to move on….”

“How?”

“Let yourself free. Poured everything out and you’ll feel better”, and I started crying harder and harder. Let everything out ~~~~~~~~-ah. Don’t keep it in. Let your feelings out so you’ll be free.

I didn’t know how long I cried but Jaejoong was always there besides me. He just kept quiet and let himself be a shoulder for me to cry on. Never once did Jaejoong complained about it. He kept on being on my side; accompany me through all the pain. That’s the reason why Jaejoong is my greatest first love/bestfriend ever. It’s because he always knows what to do with me. If I cried, instead of giving me all those stupid ‘its ok’ or ‘everything’s fine’ , he let me cried and listen to me. Guess he knows what’s best for me.

After a while, finally I stopped crying and both of us lie down at the beautiful ranch and enjoy the night scenery. He pulled me closer to him and let me felt his warmness. I swear to God Jooyeon unnie will be jealous if she saw us right now. Hahaha! Well she couldn’t be even if she wanted to. I was Jaejoong’s bestfriend first so I deserve him more than she does. But don’t worry; I’m not planning on taking him back from you unnie-ah. I’m just borrowing him for a while,

“Oppa.”

“Hmm….” He looked at me.

“Gomawo.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just doing what I do best and that is being your friend.”

“I felt better now” much, much better.

“Good to hear that.”

“Oppa-ah….”

“Yes….”

“I don’t want to forget Yunho but I have to move on. How am I supposed to move on if I don’t want to forget Yunho?”

“Why don’t you want to forget Yunho? Doesn’t it pain you to remember about all the things he had put you through?” I nodded at Jaejoong’s words.

“Yes. It does but still, every inch of my memory with him makes my life seems much better. Just like when I’m with you. I might be suffering but I couldn’t let go of our sweet memories. It still lives in my heart.”

“Do that?”

“What?”

“Let those memories live in your heart. Keep it inside your heart as something you’ll cherish forever. Never let it go. That way, you’ll be able to move on without forgetting about him.”

“Let it live in my heart?”

“Yup. Living in the heart.”

“Yeah. Living in the heart….”

That night, I was able to move on without forgetting every sweet memory I have with Yunho. Yunho might never know this but I still love him with all my heart but instead of showing it, I kept it here. Safe inside my heart. That way, no one can ever take it away and it will always be living in the heart till the end of the world. Maybe this time, I wasn’t able to find happiness in something called love, but the next who knows? Maybe God has another plan for me. Till God decided to launch that plan, Yunho will always live in my heart.

-THE END- 

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hey....

this is qisovcfo....

here i want 2 say thank u 2 everyone who read my fic n support me....

love u all!!!!

don't 4get 2 read my other fic....

peace out!!!!