“Wah!” I said as I walked in the ballroom that was rented for the reunion party. Whoa! There’s a lot of people here! I could see everyone that’s in the same batch with Yoochun oppa, Jaejoong oppa and Jooyeon unnie. There even the one I never saw before because they move before school but still a friend of the used-to-be seniors. It’s so cool! I’m at a party full of older people than me! Not that I enjoy being with older people but it’s just cool. Like you’ve been invited to the senior’s private pool party or something. Hm…. I’m so gonna arrange a pool party this year. I bet all the juniors will be dying to attend it. hahaha! I love being a senior.

“Gaja!” Yoochun oppa held my hand and we started walked around the ballroom. Almost everyone we ran too talked to us. And what’s best of all is, THEY RECOGNIZE ME! Ok maybe they recognize me as Jooyeon’s sister but who cares! At least they recognize me. I feel so popular! Hahaha!

“~~~~~~~~-ah!” Even from a far, I could hear that voice calling my name. Ugh! Here he comes! In just a second, Jaejoong and unnie was standing in front of me and Yoochun. And this is where the hell begins!

“Yah! Don’t touch her!” Jaejoong quickly pulled my hand from Yoochun’s grip.

“Hey!” Yoochun seemed to be unsatisfied with Jaejoong action. Owh great! They’ll fight.

“Don’t EVER touch ~~~~~~~~ EVER again, arasseo?!”

“Who are you to tell me that huh? Are you her umma?”

“No! But I’m her oppa!”

“No. not until you marries Jooyeonnie.”

“Yah! Don’t call my girlfriend Jooyeonnie! I don’t like it!” Even Jooyeon unnie become their topic to fight about.

“I know her first so I can call her ANYTHING I want too!”

“No you can’t! I’m her boyfriend!”

“I’m her bestfriend!”

“So?”

“So I can call her anything I want too” and the bickering went on and on and on. Aish! I looked at Jooyeon unnie and she looked at me back. We both just shook our head and decided to leave these two idiots. No use stands besides them when they only care about their stupid fight. Man! All the same!

Walking around the ballroom, I went towards the empty table and sat. This is so boring! Everyone is busy talking and doing some catch up stories with their friend and no one bothers to talk to me at all! Aish! I shouldn’t have agreed to go out with Yoochun oppa. This is so wasting of my time! I should be home and study for my future but instead Im stuck here because of two stupid guy’s stupid fight. I OFFICIALLY HATE YOOCHUN AND JAEJOONG!

Looking around the place, I saw many people with their couple’s. awwh! I’m so jealous of them. I really want a boyfriend. It’s been YEARS since I last dated anyone. L! It’s all because of this foolish love that has inside of my heart. First Jaejoong, now Yunho. Who’s next? I don’t want to know. Actually, I’ve been in love only twice but both of my love is one-sided love. Isn’t that sad? Maybe this is my payment for dating guys who I don’t love and end up hurting them. Huh! I deserve this. I mean all that happen in your life is cause by yourself right?

I looked around me some more. I’m so bored so what else can I do now? Talk to myself? People might think I’m crazy. So the best thing to do is look around. I look and look and look until my eyes catch something. There’s this two people. A guy and a girl. The girl was talking to that guy. He than rubbed the girl’s head and said “kieopta!”. I smiled to myself. Yunho used to like calling me “kieopta” because he thinks I’m really cute. He also like to rub my head, pinched my cheek and nose. I still remember the way he calls my name. It’s still fresh inside my mind.

My eyes started getting teary. I quickly stop myself from thinking about Yunho and stop the tears. I shouldn’t act like this. If I think I’m hurt, I should know that Yunho is also hurt. He’s suffering too. Probably he’s missing me like how I miss him. he maybe even crave for my chocolate cookies. I remember when he first taste the cookies I made. He was so shock to know that I was the one who baked it. hahaha! It was offending at first because Jaejoong also react like that but I understand it now.

“Hey, have you heard about Yunho and Seul Ki?” My ears suddenly detected what the girls at the table besides me are saying. Hearing the word ‘Yunho’ make my sense becomes alive again.

“No. how have they been doing?” The other girl asked.

“Great! They’re engage now!” The other one answer. Aish! Talks about things that I don’t know already can you?

“I bet they are so happy.”

“They are! Last month, they went to Paris and on top of the Eiffel Tower, Yunho asked Seul Ki to quickly marry him and be his wife.”

“Omo! Jinja?! Wah! Seul Ki is so lucky.”

“I know right?!”

“Yeah. I heard that they’re in Rome now. Celebrating their anniversary.”

“I would do anything to be Seul Ki now.”

“Me too. They are so happy. They are made for each other you know.”

“Yeah. At first do you know that Yunho was a bit different when they move? There’s this girl that Yunho have some unsorted feelings towards. But finally, he choose Seul Ki over her.”

“Who is that girl?”

“Not sure. Probably an idiot.”

“True! Only an idiot thinks she can compete with the perfect Seul Ki and steal Yunho from her.”

“So true!” And they walked away.

That idiot is me. The one who think that she can compete with the perfect Seul Ki. The one who think she can stole Seul Ki from Yunho. It’s me. Idiot. That is the perfect word to describe me isn’t it? Idiot. A ing idiot. Figures huh? I mean I’ve always been the most stupid one in my family. No wonder I am an idiot when it comes to love. Once an idiot, always an idiot. Oh whatever!

I got up from my sit and went towards the food corner. There I took everything I could and put it on my plate. Than I went back to my sit and started eating. Um! This is delicious! I should eat more! And I eat more. Than more. And even MORE! I don’t think I could eat anything for the next few months! I’m so damn full! I want to lie down and sleep now. I’m so going to be fat if this keep going on. But its better getting fat than hurt right?

“~~~~~~~~~!” After HOURS here, I FINALLY saw Yoochun. Huh? It looks like the fight is over. Why don’t you just finish it next week huh?

“I taught you were never going to come.”

“Sorry. I was carried away by my stupidness.”

“Glad you realize it.”

“So are you enjoying yourself?”

“No.” I quickly put up a sat face and shook my head.

“I taught so. Let’s go!” He suddenly took my hand.

“To where?”

“Home.”

I smiled brightly hearing the word home. Damn! I’m so tired and FULL! I want to sleeeeeeeeeppppppppp~ like there’s no tomorrow. Yeah! Is it possible to sleep like there’s tomorrow? Every time there’s a sun, my eyes will automatically open itself so no matter how much I want to sleep like there’s no tomorrow, it won’t happen. damn! Uh! I can take Jaejoong’s eyes cover! That way, even if the sun is up, I wouldn’t know. Good idea! Lee ~~~~~~~~, you are so smart!

We were about to walked out when a very beautiful and hot girl suddenly greet Yoochun. “Chun-ah!” Yoochun’s eyes widened as she saw that girl. Quickly he let go of my hand. What’s up with him? And why is she calling him Chun-ah? I never heard anyone call him like that before. Not even Jooyeon unnie and Yunho. Ok fine, it would be weird if Yunho call him that but Jooyeon unnie can but still she never did.

“Gahee-ah!” His eyes went all sparkly. What’s up with this guy?

“Hey! How have you been?”

“Me? Better than EVER!” Really?

“You look really good now.”

“You too” and they both laughed. What so funny?

“Ah! ~~~~~~~~-ah, this is Gahee. Gahee, this is ~~~~~~~~”, Yoochun introduced us to each other. Both of us could only smile at one another.

“Is this your girlfriend?” She asked.

“Nah! Just a friend”, yeah. Friend right! Friend that you kiss and hug all you want right!

“Are you living?”

“No actually”, excuse me?

“I’m just sending her by the door.”

“Ah! In that case, I’ll wait you inside ok?”

“Ok”, and that girl walked away. Yoochun gawk at her a little more than turned towards me who was giving him the wth look.

“That’s Gahee.” He was nervous.

“Yeah. So you’ve told.”

“She’s my first love.”

“SERIOUSLY?!” I went from the pissed off me to the excited me.

“Yeah”, he just smiles shyly.

“Oppa, you have a great taste!”

“I know right? hahaha!”

“Go on than!”

“Huh?”

“Go in. talk to her!”

“But what about you?”

“Nah! I’ll be fine. I can go home by myself.”

“Really? You can?”

“Yes”, I nodded.

“Ok than. Bye!” And he quickly ran away.

“Uh!” Not even a goodbye kiss huh? I’ve always say this but still I want to say it again. Once a player, ALWAYS a player.

Walkinghome all alone, I decided to stop by the playground. There I sat on one of the swing and start swinging myself up to the air. The stars and moon are shinning brightly in the sky. As the swing gets higher, I reached up my hand as if I could grab the stars. Are the stars beautiful like this at Yunho’s place? Is he also enjoying this view? No he’s not. There’s a huge time difference between here and where he is at now. The sun is probably shinning so brightly there. I looked up at the moon. “Moon, can you tell the sun to tell Yunho that I miss him?”

As like the moon answering me, the cold wind suddenly blow so hard that it sends the chill down to my nerves. I quickly hugged myself trying to make it warm again. More wind suddenly touches my skin. My body shook. Every part of my body is cold right now. Even my heart. It’s so cold. Everything suddenly becomes so dull. I looked around and nothing seems to give me anything anymore. What is this feeling?

My hand moved and touched my chest where my heart is at. That time I knew what was happening. It’s the feeling of loneliness. No! It’s not loneliness. It’s emptiness. There’s an empty space in my heart. A space that used to be filled with Yunho. Now that Yunho is gone, that place is left empty. All this time, I tried to put Yoochun inside of that space so that it’ll fill again, but it doesn’t fit. Now I get it. I always want Yoochun to be my side because without him messing with me, my heart feels empty. Even if he can’t fill the empty space inside my heart, he would cure the emptiness for a while. That’s why my heart goes all crazy when he’s not around.

Everything seems to make sense now. I laugh a lot. Smile a lot. Eat a lot. I act as if everything’s fine. But the truth is everything isn’t. I smile and laugh because I’m scared that if I didn’t do that, I’ll cry. I eat a lot because I want to cure the pain that even I don’t know. I live everyday like everything is ok because I taught Yunho is suffering too. Because I taught he misses me too. I was lying to myself all this while but I didn’t realize it. Only now everything makes sense.

I took out my phone. I decided to call Yunho. Maybe if I talk to her, my heart would be at ease. “Beep…..beep….beep….” No one was answering. Aish! This is far distance call. Please answer! It’s expensive you know! Well I don’t care about the price. I just want to talk to him. I don’t ask much. Please answer. Please answer.

“Hello!” I heard Yunho’s voice.

“Oppa!” I swear to God I nearly jumped off the swinging swing.

“This is Yunho. I’m a bit busy now so just leave the massage after the beep. Beep!” I sighed in frustration. Maybe I should leave him a message and he’ll call me back. Yeah. I should.

“Oppa, this is me. ~~~~~~~~~. Um…. How are you? If you got this, please call me back. Please…..”

After I hung up, I looked around. My heart ache in pain. Little by little, I ended up crying. The sobbing becomes harder. The pain becomes unbearable. Tears were pouring down my cheeks like rain. I couldn’t take this any longer. I miss him so much. I need him. There isn’t a day that goes by I didn’t remember him. Every step I take is every step inside his memory. I wish he was here. Yunho oppa, I need you. Only you could fill the empty space inside my heart. I’m incomplete without you. Please, comeback. Please don’t leave me here like this. Please! Just comeback.