This chapter is made based on Nu'est W's Happiness Train on VLive and their first win. Please enjoy ❤

The past few weeks had been like a rollercoaster ride for JR. A lot of things that he had given up in the past suddenly came true one by one. He was once a boy who had so many dreams, believing that they would be fulfilled one day. His hope had never fully gone, but when they finally came true, it still did not feel real. He remembered all five of them, including Minhyun, had said so many times about their wish of getting first place.

And finally, their dream came to them as a reality. They finally came first, breaking the record as the group that took the longest time to reach the first place. Their hardships and sufferings finally paid off, giving them the rewards that had been long in due. As their leader, JR felt many kinds of emotions passing through him. Happiness, for sure, gratitude for all the members, families, and LOVEs, disbelief, joy, and a tinge of sadness due to Minhyun's absence during their historical moment.

On the stage, JR observed all of s crying out of happiness, he also could not hold his tears that streamed down his face. Aron was sobbing hardly, being hugged by the members of GOT7 and BTOB, who sincerely congratulated them. Baekho who lost his tough persona, weeping openly in front of the audience. And his beloved Ren, his face still looked in a daze, trying to process what happened. At that time, JR really wanted to hug the younger, to let all of his emotions out in the younger's embrace. But he could not.

Ever since their surge of popularity, JR and Ren's relationship had been unstable. Their manager prohibited them from excessive skinship since they were in the spotlight with all the medias on to them, and getting caught could mean the end of their careers. Even during fanmeetings, JR stopped doing fanservice with the youngest in case he could not himself back. He chose to observe from afar, admiring the younger's beauty without getting too close to his object of admiration. Still, he was thankful that Ren tried to understand his position.

After the other artists left the stage, giving them their encore stage to celebrate with the fans, JR caught Ren's eyes. He could see the longing in the younger's eyes, which he was sure that was also reflected in his own. He gave a brief smile, which was replied with a wide one, accompanied with the younger's tearful eyes. Ren's innocent and pure smile gave him all the reassurance that he needed. That the younger still loved him. Ren walked past him to comfort Aron who was still sobbing, and all of them were engulfed in a group hug, loud cheers could be heard behind them.

JR felt that his life was finally almost complete. Almost. The fame and success had taken away another important part in his life. When he was first told not to show his relationship in public, he felt that was going to be easy. Afterall, they could still have some private time inside their dorm. But in reality, it was not easy at all. The continuous practice and shooting, both group and individual had made it impossible for them to show their love for each other. They would come back to the dorm tired, sleeping immediately, and before they fully replenished their energy, they had another schedule to attend.

To make it worse, Ren decided to move to Minhyun's empty room. Because JR had many individual shootings, with Suspicious Singer and Night Goblin, that required him to return to dorm at different schedule with the other members, Ren said that it might be better for him to use Minhyun's room so that JR could rest better. JR wanted to decline Ren's request but he could not say no, so he just agreed along to it. Sometimes Ren visited him in his room, sleeping over after they cuddled all night, but that was not enough. JR needed more affection from the younger.

Eventually, the patient national