Jessica slept over but they didn’t go further than making out. Taeyeon regrets what she did , she was just upset and frustrated and she wasn’t thinking straight. She doesn’t want to ruin the relationship she has with her important childhood friend so she let Jessica sleep in her bed while she slept in the lounge to calm down. 

Taeyeon decides it’s important to talk about yesterday to clear things up so they’re both sitting on her bed, “Sica you’re my family. I’m not....I’m not your prince. You’re like a sister. That’s why yesterday was —“  

“Experimenting!” Jessica immediately interrupts because she doesn’t want to hear anymore. 

“Experimenting?” Taeyeon doesn’t compute straight away. 

“You know because you were confused...” She says delicately 

Taeyeon looks down away from her childhood friend’s eyes because she realized something about herself that she never wanted to acknowledge, “I don’t think I’m confused anymore...” the next few words don’t come out as easily but she gathers herself and looks back up to Jessica, “I like girls.”

Jessica holds Taeyeon’s hand to reassure her ,”It’s ok.” 

The short haired blond smiles to her friend because often Taeyeon was the one to comfort Jessica but now it’s the other way round. She’s happy that Jessica is there for her. 

“And I.... Like Tiffany.” Taeyeon says nervously because of Jessica’s disapproval of the brunette. 

“I... Know.” Jessica says hesitantly 

*** 

Taeyeon is busy walking to her next class when a guy grabs her wrist and pulls her into the storage room. 

“What are you doing!” she shouts angrily then sees the face of the guy she hates the most in the school which makes her even angrier, “Justin are you crazy!”

“Are you sleeping with Tiffany?” he accuses 

“WHAT!?” 

“Don’t act stupid!” He says angrily 

“Did you forget that I witnessed your make out session yesterday!” It hurts Taeyeon to bring that up. She couldn’t even look at Tiffany today. 

“How can I forget! You blocker!”

“Good! You !”

Justin moves forward and kisses Taeyeon. As soon as the short girls realizes what is going she bites the tongue he forced in and she pushes him back with force, “ARE YOU ING CRAZY!” 

DISGUSTING! 

“Ah! !” he complains from the pain and presses his mouth, “I knew you were as gay as they come!”

“You’re a typical rich bastard you know that Justin!” Taeyeon opens the door and storms out. 

You got to be kidding me! She has to break up with this guy! 

*** 

Jessica is at home trying to gather her thoughts from the make out session she had with her childhood friend. 

You think you have it tough Taeyeon. I also have problems. I'm also confused especially after yesterday. I think I might like you more than a friend but you think I’m like a sister. At least you have a chance with Tiffany because she hasn’t rejected you yet stupid. You’re so clueless. 

​​​​​"Jessica have you seen my notebook?” Krystal her younger sister asks. 

“Haven’t seen it.”

“You didn’t even look you’ve been on that couch this whole time.” The bossy 12 year old accuses 

“I only heard you lost it now. What was I meant to do?”

“Well you can help me now. Where’s Taeyeon unnie when I need her.” Krystal comments because Taeyeon is always willing to help. 

Jessica gets up from the couch, “Taeyeon isn’t a servant ok.”

“Oh yeah what was she again. A prince?” Krystal teases her older sister 

Jessica frowns ,”I can’t believe you remember that.”

Krystal chuckles, “How could I forget when you’re all heart eyes for Taeyeon-unnie.”

Jessica walks up to her sister and punches her arm, “Shut up! She’s my childhood friend.”

“You should just go out with one of those hot guys that ask you out.”

“I’ve gone out with them before. They’re not as great as you think.”

***

Taeyeon is at Tiffany’s house watching the girl work through her work with minimum problems. 

She doesn’t need me as her study partner anymore. She doesn’t need to phone me every night anymore. She could just phone that jerk Justin. I wish she still needed me. How am I supposed to tell her what Justin did. It will break her heart. 

They didn’t talk about yesterday. Neither one of them wanted to bring it up. Taeyeon tried to act normally around Tiffany but she has to tell her to break up with Justin. Tiffany doesn’t even notice Taeyeon staring at her as she’s involved in her work . The blond is enchanted by the hard working girl . Tiffany’s hair falls forward and she promptly moves it back behind her ear. 

You don’t know how you make me feel.... 

Tiffany finishes her paragraph then looks up from her page with a smile filled with satisfaction and looks over to Taeyeon, “I’m finished.” She sees Taeyeon’s page, “You’ve hardly started.”

Taeyeon was too busy watching Tiffany, “I... Think I’ll do it later.”

The brunette stares at Taeyeon making her heart race, “You seem kind of off today.” 

Taeyeon looks away from Tiffany’s gaze, “There’s just too much going on.”

I made out with Jessica. Justin kissed me. I’m in love with you. When did my life get so complicated. 

“I get that. I know it too well actually.” Tiffany gets up from her chair and walks to her iPod. She presses play so the room is now filled with music, “At times like these it’s got to be music right Tae? "She smiles almost making Taeyeon forget everything and get drawn into her world. 

Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

“Throwback.” She sings some of the beginning and Taeyeon is still amazed to hear how good Tiffany is at singing. Especially when she sings English songs. 

Justin doesn’t deserve you

The brunette grabs her hand , “Come on its better to listen on the bed.”

Taeyeon doesn’t even have a choice as the rich girl pulls her to her huge comfortable bed. 

Tiffany reaches her arms out to the ceiling as if she was trying to reach it ,“When life is too much for me I turn my music on and just lie on my bed then it’s like everything will be ok.” 

Taeyeon looks up to the high ceiling and listens to the music her feelings now being controlled by it, “I wanted to be a singer.”

 Tiffany turns to look at Taeyeon but the blond doesn’t meet her gaze, “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I don’t know I guess it’s just when I see the singers on TV they’re all beautiful, have these amazing outfits and choreography. I just love to sing. I don’t know if I could do all that other stuff.”

Tiffany takes the blond's hand causing Taeyeon to meet her large brown eyes ,”You can do it. You’re pretty like the other singers.  You can do more than you think Tae. You just have to believe in yourself.”

Taeyeon’s heart is racing as she stares at the breath-taking girl in front of her. Her shirt ed just enough for her red bra to be visible. When Tiffany holds her hand it feels like electricity. Her words and the music give Taeyeon the courage she needs. 

The shorter girl pulls Tiffany into an embrace . The brunette is caught off guard as she feels Taeyeon’s comfortable ,gentle arms around her, her warm body pressed against her making her heart race when she knows it shouldn’t. 

“Break up with Justin.” 

Tiffany feels very complicated right now, “Why...” she says softly 

“I—“

Before Taeyeon can finish Tiffany panics because of her unexpected emotions, “We’re both... We’re both girls.”

Those words hit Taeyeon deep. Piercing her delicate heart. It feels so painful. She let’s go of Tiffany and gets up from the bed . Throwing her stuff in her bag. 

 Tiffany sits up from the bed, “Are you going?”

“I’m not coming here anymore!  Don’t phone me! Have fun with your boyfriend!”

The blond girl tries not to look at the brunette as she leaves the room. She can’t bare to see Tiffany. It hurts too much right now. She wants to cry. Why did she have to fall in love with a girl. 

Tiffany is left in the room with the music still playing almost not accepting what just happened. Taeyeon told her she wouldn’t leave. She could talk to Taeyeon, she was happy with Taeyeon. She slowly comes to realize Taeyeon just left. The lyrics of the song painfully similar to the situation sink in as she holds her legs and finds herself crying into them. 

~when you left I lost a part of me ~

*** 

Taeyeon buries her face into her pillow to muffle her cries. 

Why was I born a girl! Why do I have to feel this way! I knew it would be like this! Why did I even think I might have a chance! I can’t just be her friend after this! How am I supposed to look at her! It’s over! She probably thinks I’m disgusting! 

* Next day *

“What do you mean you’re not going to school?” 

Jessica asks on the phone. Taeyeon told her to tell the teachers she’s sick. 

“’Cause I’m not going!”

“Are you sick? Do you want me to bring you something?” Jessica is now concerned 

“No !”

“Did something happen. You know you can tell me Taengoo. “

“Tiffany. I don’t think she swings that way!”

“...” Jessica is quiet for a moment, “Did you confess?”

“...I... Not exactly but...” The blond has to stop to think. 

“Let’s do something today. Who cares about school. You know like we used go out and do stuff together. Now we just laze around.”

“I don’t think today is the day for that.” She just wants to cry in bed. 

“That’s exactly why we’re going to. We can go to a movie or something.”

*** 

“Do you remember that place.” Jessica says as they walk through the mall on the way to the movies. She pointed at a simple desert shop. 

Taeyeon smiles looking at the nostalgic place, “We used to get a slice of cake from there at least once a week.”

“It’s amazing how although some things change. Some things don’t. It’s just a small place but it’s still there.”

“They have good cake... and then you said you were starting to get acne and we stopped going.” Taeyeon teases 

Jessica bashes her annoying friend, “You don’t have to bring that up.”

“How about after the movie we go there again.”

“I want to but.... I don’t think I bought enough money with.”

Taeyeon flicks her friends arm, “You definitely did this on purpose. I’ll buy you a piece just this once.”

It feels like years since Jessica has gone out with Taeyeon like this. It makes her think about why they haven’t done this in so long. I guess it’s because they spend so much time together that they both wanted time to their selves. As you grow older you need that but now it feels like Taeyeon has been taken away by someone else while she wasn’t looking. 

*** 

They buy a popcorn to share and go to watch a comedy. Taeyeon feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders as she watches the movie and every now and then hears Jessica’s delayed laughter since she’s always been slow when it comes to reactions. Even though she’s distracted her heart still hurts. She can have fun times like these with Jessica but maybe she can’t do things like these with Tiffany anymore. 

Jessica reaches for some popcorn and meets Taeyeon’s hand by mistake she looks up to the clueless girl that doesn’t even notice as she’s involved with the movie. Jessica sighs as she thinks that what happened the other day really did mean nothing to Taeyeon. 

*** 

“So we’re both having the chocolate cake this time.” Taeyeon says as she pays for the slices and they go to sit down. 

“Chocolate is always good.” Jessica replies and quickly takes a bite of the cake using her fork. 

Taeyeon grins, “Be careful or you’ll get acne again. Oh if only the guys at school know how you had to give up all those sweets to stay beautiful.” She jokes 

Jessica glares at Taeyeon ,”I swear if I really do get acne again because of you you’re in trouble.”

“Sorry Darling.”

Times like these remind Taeyeon of the old days when they had more time to just play around. High school is so full of work and worries. 

“Sica... Thank you for today. I needed this.” Taeyeon smiles but still has a hint of sadness in it. 

The slight sadness hurts Jessica 

Why do you have to like Tiffany and not me?