Namjoo’s eyes swiveled back and forth. “I don’t think…”

“Lunch, ok?” he said as the elevator doors opened and he walked out, leaving her behind.

¤¤¤¤¤

Namjoo’s mouth opened to retort but Sehun was already way down the hall, his long legs making it easy for him to escape. She turned as the man and two women passed by, smiles on their faces. Namjoo didn’t know them but she recognized them as senior workers in the company.

“It’s not…we’re not…” Namjoo weakly tried but they were already out of earshot and possibly thinking she had a thing going on with one of the new hires. Namjoo wanted to bury herself. She didn’t understand what just went down but she was pretty determined not to have that date.

She didn’t date.

Dropping her bag onto her desk she pulled out her phone. She hadn’t heard from Haneul, so she had assumed the date was successful and she would be seeing Sehun again. Now Namjoo was curious. She wanted to know how the date had gone.

The phone rang once and twice before Haneul picked up in her bubbly voice, “Namjoo! Hey, how’s it going?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Namjoo replied.

“Ok…what do you mean by that?” her friend tuned her bubbliness a notch down.

“How’d your date go?” Namjoo wondered. “Thought we could catch up before I settle down with the serious end of my work.”

“Oh…you don’t sound happy. Something happen?” Haneul asked.

“I asked about your date,” Namjoo reminded.

“That, right. Well, we went to Namsan Tower, ate some, then we went to the movies, and had dinner. End of story,” Haneul sounded bored.

“That’s it?” Namjoo frowned, asked with disbelief.

“Why?” Haneul wondered.

“You’re not…you’re not going on another date?” Namjoo sounded incredulous.

“No, why?” Haneul asked confused. “Should we? We didn’t even talk about it. Why are you worrying about me? Why? Did he, like, ask you out?”

Something exploded in Namjoo’s head, “What’d you say to him?”

“So he did.” The friend sounded like she was beaming with an ear to ear smile. “I can’t believe he did it.”

“I can’t, this can’t happen,” Namjoo gripped onto her desk.

“Why not? Oh, Namjoo, lighten up,” her friend tried. “It’s just one meal, not like you’ll see him again. Well, wait, you work together, but that’s not what I meant. Just have one meal with him.”

“I work with him. That’s the equivalent to eating with him daily,” Namjoo muttered.

“It’s not like I’m telling you to forget Yeol,” Haneul pointed out. “Plus, aren’t you on friendly terms with him?”

“We aren’t friends,” Namjoo stiffly said.

“He seems like a nice guy,” Haneul commented, “why are you acting up?”

“I…I’m not,” she stuttered and gripped the ring around her neck.

“If you say so,” her friend sing-songed. “I have to go. Lets catch up later. Have fun.”

Hanging up Namjoo glanced at her phone still with disbelief. Part of her grew anxious. The other half of her dreaded the coming hour.

Oh Sehun who reminded her very much of her dead husband was much more than a nightmare. He was a constant mirror of the man she loved. Would she be able to still her heart, even for a while?

¤¤¤¤¤

“Want to join us?” Ha Jin asked. “We’re heading to a buffet. There’s a discount today.”

“No, I’m good,” Sehun rejected and turned to his papers as they filed out the door. He glanced at the time, decided he’d give it five more minutes before leaving.

Out in the lobby he waited, watched as people passed on their way to the cafeteria. The smell of food assaulted his senses. His stomach grumbled. He glanced at his watch wondering where Namjoo was. He waited another two minutes before heading upstairs and surely, Namjoo was still in her office.

“Not planning on coming down?” he asked poking his head in through the door.

She glanced at him over her papers, “Look, I said…”

“Then I’ll deliver lunch to you,” he said walking in. “Where do you want it?”

“I really don’t…” Namjoo began with a shake of her head but Sehun was already starting to move things off her desk to make way for his lunch box. Scooting out of her chair she stood, “Ok, wait, stop.”

Sehun raised his brow.

Huffing a breath Namjoo gave up, “Ok, lets eat. Just not in here. I don’t want my office smelling like food.”

“Good choice,” he grinned then held the door open. Namjoo gave him one good look before walking around her desk and out the door.

They ended up in the cafeteria with a bunch of other old folks. As he set the food onto the table Namjoo rubbed her hands against each other underneath the table as if nervous. He didn’t understand why she’d be but she didn’t look very comfortable.

“Guess what it is?” he asked after handing her utensils.

Namjoo eyed the grilled meat and veggies on the side. “I don’t know. Meat and grass?”

Laughing amused, he said, “Expensive meat.”

She gave him a frown but cautiously tried the food anyway.

“So?” he asked waiting for her critique. “Good, right?”

“It’s…a little salty.”

“It must’ve been the recipe,” he scratched his chin. “At least it’s edible, right?”

“So far,” she replied.

He ate as well. “How was your weekend?”

“It was all right.”

“You’re not going to ask about mine?” Namjoo gave him a small frown. He went on, “Hey, friends should at least be curious about each other.”

“I don’t think we’re close enough to be friends.”

“Why?” he asked. “Why aren’t we friends? We’re getting to know each other.” folding his arms on the table he wondered, “Is there something you don’t like about me?”

She batted her lids but all she did was stare at the food.

“Then,” he said, “I guess there isn’t, right? That means we’re friends.”

Namjoo glanced up at him with argument in her eyes. She still said nothing. Sehun pulled on a winning smile.

“Not that you owe me anything,” he said, “but my favorite food is fried rice. Since I know yours you should know mine. Information trading, right?”

By the time, they rode the elevator back up he didn’t learn any more about Namjoo than he already had. Either she was really short of words or she was just too into her own world. He would wait, because probing her about her husband just because he was curious wasn’t right. Although he did have an innate curiosity about her marriage he knew better than to overstep boundaries they didn’t have yet.

“Hyuk Seok and the others are meeting up after work for a few drinks,” Sehun said, “do you want to come out and join us? You don’t have to drink or anything.”

“I’m not really into those things.”

“I’m inviting you because I’d like you there,” he told. As the doors opened he asked, “Think about it?”

“We’ll see,” Namjoo quietly replied.

¤¤¤¤¤

Namjoo finally breathed again when she returned to her office. What was this airy feeling soaring through her? Elation? No, she shouldn’t be feeling this way. Just because Sehun kept appearing in front of her didn’t mean she had the right to feel these things. She had felt him looking at her during lunch but she hadn’t told him off. She should have. She should have been in her very right mind…but she hadn’t. And just because he invited her out she didn’t need to feel excited.

She shouldn’t be excited.

God, what was wrong with her? Knowing she shouldn’t harbor these emotions yet these feelings were slowly swallowing her.

She couldn’t do this.

Namjoo gripped the ring around her neck. She loved Park Chanyeol.

¤¤¤¤¤

Night had fallen. Once in a few minutes vehicles went by and more people entered the drinking stall. A middle-aged man out for a late-night drink with his buddies gathered around a blue table, filled up the stools. They hee-hawed and gossiped in low hushed voices. Sehun listened to them burst in boisterous laugher as he turned to peer into the darkened streets. Street lamps cast a dim yellow glow on the sidewalk where a couple passed by giggling together. Sandwiched between the window shop and a bakery a restaurant was blooming with night customers. He faintly smelled steak and baked potato and a hint of sweet red wine.

The men and women at his table and nearby laughed over something before breaking up into different chatter among themselves. They were a group of 15 tonight, some new hires and some seniors. They called for him and exchanged drinks, continued snacking on their fried food, and continued conversing. Family talk, the elders being relationship advisors, and work gossip.

“You were engaged?!” someone gasped. His attention wheeled around to Hyeok Seok who timidly nodded.

“I told her I couldn’t do it, so we just broke up,” he explained.

Someone shoved him. “Why would you do that?”

“You don’t know what you’re missing out,” another said. “Marriage isn’t so bad.”

One of the seniors coyly cleared his throat, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Popping a piece of fried pork skin into his mouth he said, “Wait till you’re thirty-five years into your marriage. It’s like having a leash on you.”

“But can’t be as bad as going home to someone waiting for you,” the same person who’d said marriage isn’t so bad argued.

Sehun’s eyes swiveled back and forth wondering who was telling the truth. One of the younger gal’s arm shot up into the air, “Oh, it’s the team leader!” then she called out, “Over here!”

He turned to see Namjoo looking around before spotting them. He raised a hand to wave but her eyes didn’t meet his. As she neared he about gave up his chair for her but the younger gal beat him to it by grabbing a chair from the empty table beside them. He’d thought she came here for him since he had invited her. Now that it was like this he wouldn’t be able to speak to her.

“You’re a little behind, you need to catch up,” the young gal chirped. She poured Namjoo a beer and slid the cup toward her.

“I can drink that instead,” Sehun offered. The girls glanced at him surprised and he noted the what are you doing gaze from Namjoo.

“It’s fine,” Namjoo wrapped her hands around the glass and took a sip. He watched while conjuring the image of her passing out.

The chatter around him resumed, rose in volume. In soon time they all were laughing and Namjoo was on her third cup. When the man beside Namjoo finally left to take a leak Sehun stole his chair and passed over his bottle of half-finished water.

“Sober up,” he said, “I don’t need you kissing me again.”

Namjoo’s face flushed redder than it already was. With a huff she hissed quietly, “You should have pushed me away.”

“Who doesn’t like a few kisses?”

She blushed even harder and looked almost angry.

Sehun laughed and nudged her, “I’m just joking.” Grabbing her empty cup, he rinsed it with his water, swirled the liquid around the glass, and then poured it onto the concrete. Placing it back onto the table he poured the rest of his water for her. “I wasn’t sure you were coming.”

When she didn’t reply, he turned to see her looking at the others at their table, possibly wondering if they may have been listening to them. They hadn’t. He’d made sure to speak in a volume only she would hear since the others were too engrossed in whatever they were talking about.

Sehun nudged her, “Did you hear me?”

Namjoo shifted moving away from him slightly. “I heard you.” Her eyes drifted around the drinking stall.

Glancing toward the lady behind the cooking counter he asked, “Are you hungry? I’ll buy you something.”

“No, I’m fine,” Namjoo said and finally grabbed her cup to drain the water. “I should go.”

“Already?” he asked surprised. They’d barely even had a conversation.

“I was only going to stay for an hour.”

Sehun glanced at his watch. It wasn’t even 11PM yet. “It’s not that late and I believe your dog’s fine by himself.” He paused, “It’s a he, right?”

“He’s a male.” She confirmed to which he awkwardly laughed.

“It must be nice having a pet. I’ve never had one before. I used to play with the neighborhood stray.” Sehun reminisced.

“I never had one before, either,” Namjoo sadly said. “It would’ve been nice to have one earlier.”

He glanced at her wondering if she was thinking of something regarding her husband. If Namjoo ever talked to him about her husband that would mean she trusted him and they were good friends. She hadn’t even mentioned him yet, which meant she didn’t think much of him or, he hoped not, that he was the first person she disliked. Sehun didn’t like being disliked, especially by someone he saw every day.

Turning to the others, Sehun called out, “Have a good night, guys. We’re going to go home for the night.”

“It’s not even midnight,” Hyeok Seok reminded.

“I’m going to call quits before I can’t wake up tomorrow,” Sehun excused himself and rose to his feet. Namjoo glanced up at him still unmoving. He gestured his head toward the road and watched her glance at the others who were back to engaging in a debate among themselves. Finally getting up as well they exited.

“I made an excuse for us, what were you still doing back there?” he asked as they crossed the road.

“I didn’t say I was leaving.”

“I said we,” he pointed out.

For some reason unknown to him Namjoo halted and peered at him. A troubled expression grew over her face. Without waiting for him to break the moment she picked up her pace again and started toward her car.

“Hey,” he called out, “are you sure you’re ok to drive?”

“I’m fine,” she replied without turning around.

Seeing that she was intent on just walking away he hurried after her. They may be strangers in her vocabulary, but she was his friend and he didn’t want anything to happen to her. Grabbing her arm to stop her he said, “I’ll follow you home, ok? Just to make sure you get there safely.”

Her arm tensed and she turned to look at him, again, with that conflicted gaze. Her eyes spoke sadness and something else. Maybe hope. He didn’t know. Realizing she hadn’t spoken he released her arm. Sehun expected her to say he could but she just turned and walked away. Hurrying to his car as she got in hers he turned the engine on and waited for her to drive out of her lot.

The glow of traffic lights were like dozens of stars floating among their grounded world. Each vehicle going every direction, his following Namjoo’s like a moth to the light. They passed more window shops closed for the evening and young adults streaming through the streets. In contrast to the pounding music beating through the night clubs, Sehun had turned down the radio driving in silence.

Namjoo drove slowly, steadily to the building of 14 floors extending into the night sky. Plenty of the windows glowed yellow. Passing the outdoor parking lot Namjoo entered the underground parking lot for residents. He followed her in but didn’t park in a slot. Stopping his vehicle behind hers he stepped out just as she left her car.

“It’s a nice building,” he commented.

“It’s new,” Namjoo explained. “Pets are allowed here.”

“Oh, I see,” he nodded and peered around. They were the only ones there. “Your dog’s lucky.”

“He’s the only thing I have left,” she sadly said then looked at him flustered, “I mean…I have family here too. I just meant he’s the only one who keeps me company.”

Grinning at her silliness he said, “I know what you mean.”

Namjoo managed a tiny smile in return and for the first time, he thought she looked really innocent. It was almost unbelievable, strange to even believe that she had been married before. She still looked girlish, gave off the vibe that she was as single as he was. If it weren’t for the distance she kept building he imagined she’d be dating right now.

“You should go,” she broke the peace of his mind. “Good night, Sehun.”

***ahhh...that last part when she smiled at him <33