¤¤¤¤¤

The following day Sehun went to Namjoo’s office to wait for her to finish work. They were starting on the right foot he believed as he led her out by the hand. When their co-workers saw them pass Sehun proudly grinned, because he wanted to let them know that he was dating. And if Namjoo was embarrassed about it she hadn’t reprimanded him…yet.

They walked Olly together after work and he had dinner at her place, which he expected would be more often now. This time he didn’t have to hesitate before kissing her goodnight. The days following were a mere repeat, but he also noted that Namjoo was often lost in her thoughts.

“Something on your mind recently?” he asked after they returned from walking Olly. He watched her fetch the pug some water and lovingly watch her beloved dog thirstily inhale the liquid. It was a pleasant sight, but he more than wanted to know what she was thinking.

Finally stepping away Namjoo sat down at the table. “Do you want to go with me somewhere this weekend?”

“I want to,” he eagerly said.

Namjoo twined her hands together nervously then continued, “I’m taking Yeol’s parents out for some fresh air.” She hesitated then went on, “I don’t know if you would be comfortable…”

“I’ll go,” he interjected.

When Namjoo uncertainly looked at him he smiled, determined. If they were people he would have to meet in order to get Namjoo, he’d rather meet them now than later. Because they cared for Namjoo like their own. If possible he yearned to show them that he cared for her the same way, and if one day he married Namjoo he wanted them to be on his side.

“Ok,” Namjoo quietly affirmed.

¤¤¤¤¤

In an unspoken agreement they seemed to have just hit it off. Determined Sehun had managed to touch a part of her that had been left cold. She didn’t mind that he wanted to be around as much as he could, but Namjoo was still adjusting to the fact that he liked her that much. He kissed her every time he left and whenever possible when they were alone.

Was dating like this? Namjoo had forgotten.

That weekend as she readied for that afternoon walk, Namjoo combed through her closet three times. If she dressed too prettily Yeol’s parents might assume she had something going on. She didn’t want them thinking that she was dressed to impress, but honestly she wanted to look good for Sehun.

She still had a hard time grasping onto reality whenever she thought about him. Her heart thudding for him, anticipating him, and happy with him.

Olly sat and whimpered when she grabbed her keys. “Later, ok? I promise.”

Namjoo leaned down to rub his head, slipped into her shoes, and headed out. She would pick Yeol’s parents up and meet with Sehun near the river. That was their plan for the day.

She drove to Yeol’s parents' with an anxious heart. They were excitedly waiting for her when she arrived.

“Your father has been so excited at the thought of being outside,” Yeol’s mother happily chatted as Namjoo folded up the wheelchair into the trunk. “He was acting all grumpy and embarrassed, but I know he’s glad to be outside. God knows, he must be suffocating in that house.”

Namjoo happily said, “I bet you need some air too, mother.”

“Of course, this is a lovely idea,” the woman touched her arm.

Namjoo opened to say that they would be meeting someone at the river, but Yeol’s mother already walked away and slipped into the passenger seat. Swallowing her words Namjoo closed the trunk.

Her nerves tangled as they drove down the road. How would they react to Sehun? Namjoo just wanted them to meet. She didn’t intend to let them know that she was seeing him. She was not ready for that prospective and the thought about doing it someday scared her. How would they react? Shocked? Betrayed? Because Namjoo had sworn to love their beloved son forever, but now she was hitting it off with another man? She was disloyal?

Namjoo held back her sigh. She still had trouble associating with the fact that she wasn’t doing anything wrong, that she wasn’t guilty having feelings for another man.

“You almost passed the park,” Yeol’s mother commented as Namjoo pulled into the parking lot. “Is something on your mind?”

“No, it’s nothing,” Namjoo lied peeking into the backseat. Yeol’s father wasn't paying attention. His eyes had travelled beyond the water line mesmerized.

Namjoo called out, “It’s warm today, father. Lets go on a walk.”

After helping the elder man into the wheelchair Namjoo gently pushed him onto the sidewalk onto the path by the water. A cool breeze s over them. They walked quietly for a minute. Eventually she spotted Sehun up ahead snapping pictures of seagulls diving below for small fish. Noticing them, he turned and waved. Namjoo’s heart leapt, but remaining calm she just smiled.

It was now or never. Turning to Yeol’s mom, “I invited a friend to join us today.”

“What?” She blinked surprised, eyes fluttering at the rapid speed of light. “A friend?”

“Yes, a friend,” Namjoo repeated coming to a full stop near Sehun. Stepping away from the wheelchair she introduced, “This is Oh Sehun. He works with me at the company. He’s a friend of mine.”

“Oh my…” Yeol’s mother gasped. “Well, hello young man.”

Namjoo was all nerves and tension, but Sehun held himself well. “Hello, ma’am. It’s so nice to meet you.” Turning to Yeol’s father he politely bowed, “Good afternoon. I hope you’re having a good start to your day. There are lots of birds today. A fishing competition is being held up ahead, would you like to go see with me?”

Yeol’s fragile father glanced up at him. Namjoo could see the old man’s eyes twinkling. For the reason that Sehun wasn’t treating him differently than a normal person. For the reason that he was being respectful. Making no remark about the wheelchair or his medical condition. Or that he may have heard from Namjoo how the old man was doing. Sharing a nod Sehun wheeled him off.

“He must be so glad,” Yeol’s mother sounded thrilled. “It’s been a while since he’s had a male companion. Just look at them.”

She stared after them elated. To Namjoo she grasped her hand, “Your friend is such a nice young gentleman. I was quite surprised to see him, but now I’m glad he’s here. Thank you for inviting him. You always seem to know what to do.”

No, she never knew what to do or what was the right thing anymore, but she didn’t say it. Peering off into the distance she watched Sehun lean over to point something in the far distance out to Yeol’s father. If Yeol was alive today he would be standing in place of Sehun.

A seagull flew overhead gawking. Tilting her head back she glanced into the blue sky. A soft wind combed through her hair tousling it loose. The air was fresh, tasted of salt and sweat. The cries of happy children playing in the distance reverberated through her ears. Familiar happiness surrounded them, flocking around the park like the birds. Today the weather was perfect. Clear skies, bright sun, nice winds. She wondered if Yeol was watching.

¤¤¤¤¤

Upon request, Sehun joined Chanyeol’s parents for dinner. Yeol’s mother prepared a sumptuous meal of boiled chicken, fried glass noodles, and kimchi soup.

“I’m sure that since you’re far from home you don’t eat well. You must miss your mother’s cooking.” His mother sympathized. “Eat up. I hope you’re not a picky eater.”

“Definitely not,” Sehun refuted. “It’s delicious, thank you.”

In order to get to know him more, they talked about his job, where he had grown up, about his parents, about his family. Sehun answered honestly as best as he could. Once they finished dinner Namjoo offered to do dishes while Yeol’s mother took her husband to go rest. Snagging his chance Sehun wrapped his arms around Namjoo as he helped her with dishes.

“I did good?” he asked.

“You did good,” Namjoo complimented. “I can tell father was happy today. Thanks Sehun.”

“And you’re welcome,” he leaned his head against her shoulder. They shared the tranquil moment smiling into each other’s eyes. Sehun quickly let go stepping away when Yeol’s mother stepped around the corner.

“I’m so glad you haven’t left. Here, let me pack you some food to go,” she offered immediately starting toward the fridge.

“No, it’s all right. It’s not necessary,” Sehun tried to reject, but Yeol’s mother like any other mother was already packing him food.

“I’m sure a young man like you won’t have anyone to cook for you,” she worried, “you’re not married?”

“No, not yet,” he replied.

“The food will be good only for a few days, but you must keep them in the fridge,” the woman instructed.

Packing the containers into a sturdy bag she handed over the food. With a polite thank you and a promise to visit again Sehun left with Namjoo.

She teasingly shot him a look as they walked toward their cars.

“What?” he asked.

“Look at all that food.”

Sehun glanced at the bundle in his arms then to her. “And?”

She scoffed, “Nothing. You just look funny.”

He frowned. “I’m coming over.”

“Why?”

“I want to and it’s a Saturday,” he reasoned then turned to strut toward his car.

¤¤¤¤¤

“Well, hello again,” Sehun raised his hand up to greet Namjoo when she opened the door. She gave him a flat look then let him in. Barking loudly Olly jumped up against his leg to welcome him.

Laughing happily Sehun greeted him, “Hey, boy,” then to Namjoo, “at least someone wants to see me.”

Ignoring his antic she went into her kitchen, “You’re not hungry again, are you?”

“No, but I brought movies.” Sehun held up the DVDs he had rented. “And it’s a Saturday, so lets stay up.” 

“So…” she dragged on, “you want popcorn?”

“Yes and yes for soda.”

“I don’t have soda.”

“You’re not kidding,” he didn't quite believe her as he switched the DVD player on.

Popping the popcorn into the microwave she turned to him with a shrug. Soda didn’t actually matter. All he cared about was that they were spending the evening together.

Once Namjoo finished the popcorn she joined him on the couch. Olly gathered at their feet cozily curling up. The first film went by successfully with laughter. After slipping in the second DVD Sehun took his chance to sit closer to her. Their comfort level with each other had changed over the short period they were together. Maybe it was because he was no stranger. Maybe it was because she could accept her feelings now. Perhaps she was telling him he could invade her space.

This time when they laughed again they shared eye contact, a moment of euphoria bursting. His breath caught. She was beyond what words could describe. His heart became a little more whole every time she shared a moment. And he loved her a little more.

Sehun gave her a quick peck, moved back, and stared once more into her eyes. He was so glad Namjoo had been left behind for him. He would love her just as much as her husband once did. His heart beat a little harder, his body becoming a little lighter when Namjoo’s hands embraced his neck and kissed him. If they could share laughter, they could share the rest of their life together.

He wanted that.

Sehun kissed her a little harder. Touching her arm before grasping onto her waist to get a little closer. His feelings for her intensified. They were seeing each other responsibly. They had taken a milestone to get here. He had waited and he had verified her feelings for him. If the moment came for the next step he wouldn’t let go. No one had touched his heart like the person in his arms. Sehun was sure now that he didn’t ever want this to end.

Opening his mouth he brushed his tongue into her orifice. Their lips broke off.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “was that too fast?”

She gushed, shyly touching his shoulder. With a small shake of her head, “No…it’s…ok.”

When she looked at him again his heart melted. Forgetting the movie, he kissed her again. Namjoo naturally allowed him to push her into the arm rest, her body arching into him. He tasted her tongue, felt her s, and her stomach sear his body. He wished he had been better prepared.

The heat in the room slowly gained momentum. His mind churned with what they could do next. Perhaps in her bedroom away from Olly.

Then…

“What are you doing?!” Someone screeched.

Shocked, Sehun lifted himself up and spun around. Right behind them Mina glared at them with laser-like eyes. Namjoo disappeared from his side, was up on her feet unable to explain herself.

“Mina,” Namjoo's voice dropped, but Yeol’s younger sister broke her off. Stomping forward she dragged her sister-in-law into her bedroom.

“How can you do this to my brother?!” Sehun heard Mina screaming. “Yeol loved you! Till the moment he died! Didn’t you promise to love him forever?! Look what you’re doing! What is wrong with you?!”

There wasn’t even a murmur from Namjoo. Sehun could feel his heart sinking. Even in a moment like this, could she not stand up for them? Rising to his feet he stepped away from Olly who was now awake, his tail wagging as if Sehun might take him outside. Stepping to the side Sehun peered into the bedroom where Namjoo looked like a child being scolded. His heart hurt.

Grabbing her arm Mina shook Namjoo as if trying to wake her, “How can you, how can you?! You knew I liked him!”

“I’m sorry, Mina…” Namjoo weakly muttered.

Mina slashed, “Do you know what you’re doing?! To Yeol! To my parents! I will never let you love anyone else! You can’t turn your back on us!”

Hissing, breathing hard Mina swung around. When her eyes landed on him she glared murderously. Stomping past she intentionally shoved him. The door slammed.

Olly trotted over  his small head swiveling back and forth between them before plopping down and whimpered. Tension swung into the air suffocating what was left.

How was he supposed to approach her? Namjoo appeared wounded. She wouldn’t even look at him. And he had thought everything had been so perfect.

Turning so that he couldn’t see her face, Namjoo quietly said, “You should go.”

“Oh…” he tried not to let his disappointment show. He didn’t want to swaddle her feelings. He knew that when things like this happened the worst he could do was burst her bubble. He feared too much that Namjoo would close up again.

Retrieving the DVDs, he pet Olly on the head before glancing toward the bedroom once more then left.

¤¤¤¤¤

What had she been thinking? Mina had a point. She was right.

To a certain level.

Namjoo stared at Yeol’s picture. She had retreated to bed after Sehun left, was now lying in bed staring into the dark. Taking Yeol’s picture she embraced it and curled up into a fetal position.

She loved Yeol. She did. Always had. Always will. But she couldn’t forget Sehun’s sparkling eyes. The way he showered her with his feelings. That he liked her and he wanted her to know. And he wanted her to face her own reality instead of always drowning in pain.

She had let him leave so quietly. She was awful.

Closing her eyes, she wished she could shut out Mina’s words. Namjoo wanted to say she never wanted to break her promises. She had tried her best. She had always hung on. Was that not enough?

Did she not deserve to live again?

¤¤¤¤¤

Sehun could not sleep. He was too worried. About Namjoo. About what would happen to their relationship. They had just started building something only to become…almost nothing…if Namjoo let it become nothing. Sehun didn’t want to become just co-workers with her again. How could he look at Namjoo knowing that she was the one but they couldn’t be?

He couldn’t stand the thought.

Rising early, he paced his house restlessly. His eyes continuously darted toward his phone. To call Namjoo, to hear her voice, ask how she was doing but afraid to do so. What if he heard what he most feared?

They were over.

What if Namjoo just wanted her own space and he was too anxious? He would ruin everything.

She hadn’t said she liked him, but she had embraced him. She had shared with him bits and bits of Yeol. She accepted his kisses. She had made the brave move to introduce him to Yeol’s parents.

That had to mean something, didn’t it?

Maybe he was over worrying. Sehun tousled his hair. He couldn’t wait anymore. He needed to know now if Namjoo could ever love him.

Grabbing his keys, he drove to her place. He rang the doorbell once and twice then waited. Excitement jumped through him when he heard the door unlocking. 

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she quietly greeted.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m ok.”

“Did you…have a lot to think about?” Sehun hoped he had been a fragment of her thoughts. He’d really hurt if all she had thought about were Mina’s words and her deceased husband.

A brief moment of silence wavered causing him to grow nervous. He didn’t want to have come for nothing. Tell me now he wanted to say, that you want me too.

“I still like you.”

That was all he ever wanted to hear. Snatching her face into his hands he kissed her hard knowing tonight he wouldn’t be going home.

***KAJFLASKDJFALSFJASDOIFJADLK;NKAJ;

***since you are all enjoying it, all right I won't discontinue it. Anyway, I have started a YeolJoo story "I Still Believe in Love" a/n: I lied whoever is reading as of Oct 2019 I didn't even finish the story