¤¤¤¤¤

Over the next several days Sehun talked to Namjoo about the possibility of revealing their relationship. What would be the most natural way to break the news to Yeol’s parents? Namjoo didn’t want to shock them too much. The thought about confessing made her extra anxious and she felt apologetic that she couldn’t hide it from Sehun. She knew he didn’t want to keep them a secret. It hurt them more than it did anyone else. Namjoo was also aware that Sehun was afraid her mind could change any time. She was even sorrier to him.

That Wednesday they set a time to visit Yeol’s parents. Right after work they headed to the grocery store for food. Sehun didn’t want to go empty handed. Namjoo appreciated his feelings. Needing to do his best to prove himself. That he wanted acceptance from her side, because the people important to her were as important to him. That meant a lot.

“And this,” Sehun picked up some strawberries. Their cart was full of food. They had plans to stock up Yeol’s parents’ fridge. This evening, Sehun wanted to help make dinner for them. Namjoo would be lead chef obviously. Afterward, they’d sit and talk and slowly come out that they were carefully seeing each other.

Around 5:00 they arrived at the house. Yeol’s mother greeted them with open arms. Her husband was in the living room in his wheelchair, amazingly nodding his head in welcome. It was a pleasing sight to witness Yeol's father so glad to see Sehun again.

The thought of his feelings toward Sehun changing after dinner made Namjoo edgy.

“You didn’t have to,” Yeol’s mother remarked seeing the grocery bags. “Let me help you.”

“I’ll carry them in.” Sehun insisted.

“Please sit,” Namjoo persuaded then gestured toward Sehun, “I have a helper for dinner tonight.”

“That’s so sweet. You really didn’t have to.” The delight was prominent in her voice.

Namjoo hesitated then asked, “Is Mina home?”

“You know her. She’s so busy being at that entertainment company or whatever it is these days. She comes in late at night and leaves before anyone wakes up,” Yeol’s mother sighed. “I don’t even know if her hair color is red or brown or white.”

Namjoo offered little words of comfort then joined Sehun in the kitchen. As they neared the sink moving out of sight, Sehun soothingly linked an arm around her waist.

“We’ll be ok,” he promised.

“I know,” she agreed touching his arm gently. She could rely on him whatever happened.

Dinner came and went. Yeol’s parents loved what they set on the table, continuously exclaiming how delicious the food tasted. Sehun even helped feed Yeol’s father generating lighthearted laughter. Afterwards they cleared the dishes together.

Namjoo first took the initiative to sit with Yeol’s parents in the living room. Chatting about their current lives, worries, and difficulties. Carrying a tray of crummily sliced up fruit Sehun joined them scratching his head embarrassed, telling them he’d inherited his father’s bad skills. Sitting beside her he offered the delicacies to Yeol’s parents.

Everything was going well. Namjoo was finally starting to relax. Yeol’s parents were in a good mood. His father may not be able to speak yet, but his eyes expressed everything. He was welcoming Sehun. He was happy. He was healthy and doing well. Namjoo hoped Yeol was looking down on them. Somewhere out there he was slowly guiding them along, because he trusted her to love herself and to make the kind of decisions he would be proud of.

Yeol had been a lovely soul. With the biggest heart. Arms that could squeeze anyone to death, because he had carried that much love in him. Namjoo just knew he would never be disappointed in her. He would accept Sehun. He would forgive her for loving again. When Sehun was gone, she had cried a lot. She was sorry. She cried because she knew Yeol would pat her head, tell her it was ok. She cried because he would tell her to move on without him.

Namjoo knew Yeol was sorry for leaving her behind. She didn’t hold it against him. Maybe she had hated him for a while. She had been angry and resented him. Now she was starting to accept that he wasn’t here anymore. The person she would cry for from now on was Sehun and only Sehun.

“Mom,” the door opened.

Warm air cascaded inside. They all turned to see Mina with a foot in the doorway. Her first reaction was to glare. That expression transitioning into a stubborn frown. Hot rage seethed through her like poison.

“Get out! What are you doing here!? Get out! Get out!” she began screaming like a menace.

Shocked, her mother jumped to her feet. “Park Mina! What is wrong with you?”

“Mom!” Mina turned to her. ing her arm out, she pointed an accusing finger their way, “Do you know what they’re doing?! You let them come in here?! This is our house! Yeol lived here! You don’t even know what she’s doing to him!”

“Mina!” her mother desperately hissed.

“It’s all right,” Sehun tried. He slowly rose to his feet. Looking at Mina, “Come in and lets talk.”

“No! Don’t talk to me like you did nothing wrong!” Mina yelled. “Don’t act like you’re innocent.”

Hideously staring at Namjoo, “How can you do this? You have the guts to come here with him?!”

Perplexed more than she imagined, Namjoo stood. Pressing her lips together she stared at the soft blue carpet. She had always been afraid. Of hurting others. Even worse, she had been a coward to her own heart.

The living have to keep on living her mother started saying a year ago. Namjoo resented her deep from her heart for saying that so easily, but these days she was starting to see the light of it. Her mother, who knew best, was not wrong. Park Chanyeol was no longer here. What could he do for her?

Yes, she hated it. The fact he left her. That was then. This is now. She wanted to stop crying. From always worrying to never worrying. Be happy. Find herself. Start the journey to self-discovery. Love herself once more.

Namjoo wanted to live.

And she wanted to love. She wanted to be full again.

“Mina, what are you talking about?” Yeol’s mother cried.

Sehun grasped her hand when the elder woman turned their way.

Deep inside her heart, Namjoo trusted Yeol knew she would never hurt his parents. This wasn’t being naïve. This was being honest. With herself. With them. For herself. For them. This was the best way not to hurt anyone. This was what she should have done from the beginning, so Mina wouldn’t feel like a victim.

“She doesn’t love Yeol anymore! She left him!” Mina screeched. “Do you know what I saw when I went to her house?!”

A loud slam caused them to all jerk. Sehun tightened his hand around hers. Yeol’s father had just flipped the tray of fruit over. The light of joy no longer present in his eyes. Namjoo’s heart became sore. His brows crossed. His face entirely upset. Gritting his teeth, eyes hard on the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoo murmured. “We’ll go.”

Passing Mina, they headed to Sehun’s car. A quick glimpse showed Mina closing the door. Sehun touched her hand. All Namjoo could do then, was show him a smile.

“I’m ok,” she promised him.

Touching the back of her head he pulled her in for a comforting hug.

¤¤¤¤¤

Olly eagerly welcomed them home. Lifting the dog up into his arms, Sehun massaged his head. “ He’s asking for a walk.”

“Why don’t you go?”

“Me?” he pointed to himself. “Alone?”

Raising her brows, she nodded. He let out a deplored sigh. “You don’t want to walk off the food with me?”

“I’d like the weight gain.” 

“Fine,” he murmured. Snagging Olly’s leash, he slipped it on the dog. She wanted to be alone he knew. He hoped this was one of her phases.

Stepping outside he browsed the clear sky. The sun was slowly starting to set, but it was still really light out. And hot, too.

“You’re going to be sorry for this,” Sehun chided the dog. “Don’t ask me to carry you back.”

Silence loomed when he and Olly returned. Refilling the dog’s water bowl, he poked his head into the bedroom. Namjoo was lying on the bed. The pictures were no longer on the bedside table. He had no idea where Namjoo put them. He appreciated her efforts, but she needn’t forget Yeol for him. If she wanted to keep him in her heart, Sehun would understand.

Slowly creeping onto the bed, he lay beside Namjoo and wrapped an arm around her. Hooking his chin over her shoulder he listened to her ask, “What are you doing?”

“I want to sleep here tonight.” 

“You should go home.” Her fingers lingered lightly over the back of his hand. It was a good tingling sensation.

“I’ll go in the early morning,” he bartered. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’m not sad,” Namjoo confided.

“That’s ok,” Sehun replied. “I’ll stay anyway.”

The door caked open and Olly whined from the foot of the bed.

Sehun sighed, “I knew he’d get in.”

Namjoo burst out laughing as he got up to put the dog on the bed. Flipping onto his back he stared up at the ceiling as Olly climbed between them.

Namjoo ended up really ok. They still went out on dates. Had dinner together. On the weekend, they went on a boat cruise along the Han River. When they returned they spent the evening with Olly at the dog park. And then the work week came again.

Tuesday evening Namjoo came over after walking Olly. He promised dinner. A recipe he had been bugging her about for a few days. Giving in Namjoo said she’d try and give him her critique. He wanted to be a good cook or at least able to cook. Good thing was, he wasn’t a newbie with the stove.

“I tasted it halfway through like you taught me,” he explained setting the plate in front of her. “Since our taste buds are the same, I’m 100% sure it’s not too salty.”

Handing her the spoon, “Have a bite.”

Sehun quickly prepared a glass of water just in case. Eagerly standing at the side of the table he waited for Namjoo to taste the food. He never imagined it would make him so nervous. No wonder mothers always relished whenever her children gobbled her food.

“So?” he impatiently asked when Namjoo put the food in .

She grumbled, “I’m still eating.”

A few anxious seconds passed like an hour and then finally, Namjoo nodded.

Giving a thumbs up, “Fine. I admit it’s good.”

Laughing loudly in victory he pulled his chair out and joined her. “Now I can eat without indigestion.”

After clearing the dishes, they sat around flipping through the channels. “I should’ve gotten some movies."

“Forget it,” Namjoo said. Linking her arm through his, “This is fine, too.”

“Yea, I like it, too,” he smugly smirked.

When the sitcom finally ended, Namjoo got to her feet. It was getting late, but Sehun didn’t want her to go. These few days had been good to them. Just the two of them alone made him feel powerful enough to go against the world. Though Yeol’s parents had not contacted Namjoo, Sehun wanted to always let her know she wasn’t alone.

Sehun clung onto her hand as she started walking away. Tugging her toward him he gave her a long kiss, which Namjoo didn’t push off. Kissing her harder he slid a hand lower to grip her waist.

“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered giving her a quick peck.

“I don’t know,” she breathed, but she still held onto him. Her opened lips moved but didn’t kiss him.

Reeling her toward his bedroom he teasingly smothered her. “I want you.”

He lured her perfectly when Namjoo gave him a passionate peck. And then they were flat on his bed. Reaching for her hands he held them above her head.

“Stay with me tonight?” he asked again easing his knee up between her legs.

Her neck craned up when he found the good spot by her ear. Sliding his lips across her jaw he whispered, “How about now?”

Namjoo whimpered. Grasping his hand she in a breath, “I’ll stay.”

As they slowly unclothed, kissed and touched each other Sehun thought he could live with this. They were in a healthy relationship. They were treading the waters carefully tackling one obstacle at a time. Just beginning to match their steps together. Confirming their feelings for each other. Using the time spent together wisely and working hard not to make illusionary promises.

Still, he thought, as he made love to her he wanted more than this. As he scurried to look for a , Namjoo confided she had started going on the pill. One step deeper into their relationship. She was really opening up to him now. And maybe opening up to the possibility they could do more than this.

Would you marry me he wanted to whisper into her ears. I love you he wanted to say again. He didn’t. Namjoo was just starting to trust him. They didn’t even know each other too well. Their habits, likes and dislikes. What could trigger an argument between them. Sehun still wanted to discover more about her.

Yes, he knew, he was still greedy. Not even a year had gone by and he was starting to imagine a family with her. Slipping that ring on her finger. Promising to spend the rest of his life with her.

Would that really be too fast for Namjoo, who had been married before? Could she, would she want to do it with him?

Kissing her tenderly he hoped she could hear his words of love.

¤¤¤¤¤

I Choose to Love You was playing again. A light fog floated around her. She wasn’t dancing this time. Not with Yeol. Not with Sehun. His strong arms didn’t exist around her. Instead, Namjoo watched the couples on the dance floor move to the melody. In each other’s arms, in love with one another.

“What are you thinking about?” a voice asked. A familiar man appeared by her side and leaned against the white balcony with her. His face was blurry. Slowly becoming clearer then she was staring into Park Chanyeol’s handsome eyes. Those large ears she used to fondle and his slick hair combed back. Dressed in the tux he’d worn during their wedding, because that was how she remembered him best.

“You’re here?” she asked.

“I’m here,” he quietly answered. The song finished and then played on repeat. It had been their wedding song.

“I’m proud of you.” He placed a hand atop her head affectionately. “It was hard, but you’re happy now. Stay that way.”

Her heart ached, but at the same time was ambiguously happy. It was a bittersweet feeling she couldn’t quite get to settle into her blood.

Namjoo opened her eyes to the dark to discover tears flooding her face. Lying on her side she watched Sehun peacefully sleep beside her. Sharing a bed, sharing a blanket with him. A sense of fulfillment it offered her. She was blessed to have met him.

Sensing eyes on him, Sehun’s own flickered open. The window behind her shone over them luminously, providing enough light for the dark.

“You’re crying,” he noted as if she didn’t know.

“Can you…make love to me again?” Namjoo asked.

Eyes locked for a minute. Complying Sehun gently moved nearer. First, kissing her then touching her face, and then moving her onto her back as he climbed over her. Combing her fingers through his hair she hugged him with her legs drowning in the moment of bliss he provided.

What she had dreamt were the words she imagined Yeol would want to say to her. It was all she ever needed.

Needless say, by the time morning arrived they had slept well, energy spent and cuddling the rest of the night. Sehun was sleeping like a baby when Namjoo awoke. She watched him for several minutes as the sun streaked into the room. Quietly getting up she went in search of the bathroom. She needed to shower, head home, and dress for work. There was no way she was wearing the same outfit. Everyone would know what had happened and by this age, she didn’t need to be doing the walk of shame.

Olly would be missing her, she thought, turning the shower on. She hoped he hadn’t dirtied her apartment too bad this morning, or else if he had she’d just make Sehun clean. That sounded like a good idea. Namjoo snickered to herself and swiveled when the door opened.

“You scared me.” She peered out from the shower curtain.

“You woke up without me,” Sehun stared.

“Don’t come in here, I’m showering.” Namjoo warned.

He deviously laughed, “I don’t care, I’m coming anyway.”

“Hey!” Namjoo shrieked when he dragged the curtain aside and stepped in.

“Good morning to you, too,” he victoriously grinned.

“Geez,” she muttered playfully shoving him. He happily laughed grabbing her hand pulling her ovee.

“There are a few things I’ve done in my life, but showering with someone isn’t one of them,” he admitted.

Namjoo felt her cheeks turn hot. Before she could even look elsewhere he kissed her, her face, and then he was sliding between her legs.

“Wait…Sehun…” She gripped onto his shoulders.

“They say you can recover fast when you’re young,” he joked into her ear.

Namjoo laughed with him. Her cheeks burned hotter as she succumbed to his want. They made love again then shampooed each other’s hair, laughing and playing around high on the wings of love.

Leaving the bathroom first, Namjoo returned to Sehun’s bedroom to put her clothes on. By the time she managed to button her shirt she felt him hug her from behind.

“What this time?” 

“Thanks for staying,” he kissed her cheek then sat at the edge of the bed. Already fully dressed, but his shirt remained halfway buttoned.

“Yea and so?”

Leaning forward to grab her hands he teasingly tugged her forward. “Nothing. It’s just…I love you.”

A smile popped onto her face. Her heart fluttered upon seeing him shying.

“As we were sleeping I was thinking I’d like it if we could live like this,” he timidly confessed. “I want to marry you.”

***:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO