“What are you doing? Let me in,” her authoritative mother ordered. Helplessly falling back as the woman came in, Namjoo listened to Sehun shoot up from his chair shocked.

“Oh my…” her mother gasped. Hand on her chest her eyes swerved from man to daughter, “What is this? What’s going on?” Back to Sehun, “Who are you? Why are you in my daughter’s house?”

“Mom,” Namjoo tried but was ignored.

Quickly greeting her, “I’m Oh Sehun. I work with Namjoo.”

Turning to interrogate her, “Do you bring your co-workers home?”

“No, not at all, it’s not like that,” Sehun interjected trying to smoothen the situation. Namjoo felt like slapping her forehead.

“I think you should go,” Namjoo suggested.

Reading her expression Sehun nodded, “I should go now. It was nice meeting you, ma’am.”

Namjoo guiltily waited as Sehun brushed past. Olly’s tail wagged when the door closed. His attention veered to their new visitor excitedly.

“What is this?” her mother walked over to see their dinner.

“It’s nothing,” Namjoo excused piling the dishes.

“Who is he?” she demanded.

“Just a co-worker.” Namjoo busied herself at the sink hoping her mother would drop it.

“He’s a man in your house!” her mother exclaimed. “Namjoo, you are a woman! How could you invite just anyone…”

“I said he’s a co-worker,” Namjoo's tone deepened.

“Do you think that’s what I’m talking to you about?” her mother scolded staring hard at her. “He’s not even your husband. Could you be any more careful?! What will people say about you? You should be worried! You’re a married woman. You ought to know better what a man wants with a woman alone.”

“Could you stop?” Namjoo asked, aggravated.

“Fine, but I’m warning you not to be so foolish. Look at this,” she eyed the dishes, “what are you doing with that man? I don’t get you. You say you can’t forget Yeol, but why is that man here? You have Dokeun!”

“I don’t like him!” Namjoo raised her voice irritated by her mother’s lecture and treatment toward Sehun. Namjoo was going to blow at the mere mention of that douchebag.

“Don’t speak to me that way, young lady,” her mother warned. “I heard you were very rude with him when he came to visit you.”

“He was rude to me first,” Namjoo recalled. “I won’t apologize.”

“Namjoo!”

“If you came all the way here just to talk about him then I’m going to sleep.” Namjoo shut the running water off no longer in the mood to do dishes. “You can’t be spending the night here, are you?”

“I’m staying the night. I told your father I would be visiting you,” her mother stubbornly said.

Namjoo sighed. What she had worried about had come in the form of her mother.

¤¤¤¤¤

Had he gotten Namjoo in trouble? Was her mother giving her a lecture right now? Staring up at the building Sehun worried. Namjoo’s mother hadn’t sounded happy seeing him.

Of course, her mother already set her up with that Dokeun guy. Yeol was no longer around, so a man alone with her daughter would be misleading.

Besides, they weren’t even anything yet. Had he too rashly introduced himself? He hoped he hadn’t appeared rude.

How should he face Namjoo in the morning? With an apology or should he pretend like nothing happened? Would that help her feel at ease?

¤¤¤¤¤

“What are these foods? Did Yeol’s mother pack them?” her mother prodded the next morning.

It seemed to Namjoo that the woman had spent a good hour going through her fridge, analyzing everything, and tossing out what she didn’t like. They just couldn’t see eye to eye anymore. Had spending too much time grieving for Yeol deepened a hole in her life?

“Don’t throw them away. I’m going to bring the containers back,” Namjoo instructed walking out of her bedroom. She had just taken Olly to do his business outside and had returned to change. Namjoo was stuck wearing lazy makeup she had slapped on because her mother made her tense.

Not that they didn’t get along. Namjoo loved her mother, but after seeing Sehun here last night Namjoo couldn’t help being edgy. A sharp woman like her mother didn’t dismiss anything, especially what went on in her daughter’s life. If she saw that her daughter needed to move on, maybe it was time to move on. Right now, Namjoo didn’t need the woman getting in her face about jumping into a relationship with a man that was supposed to be Ko Dokeun.

“You still go there?” her mother asked subjectively sitting down at the kitchen table. This high morning it was loaded with fresh food.

“They’re like my parents, too.”

“I respect that you visit them, but don’t do it too often,” her mother cautioned. “Their son isn’t alive anymore, you have no real ties to them. Unless you had a child, but you don’t. Namjoo, you should know this. They should be able to work things out themselves. They still have a daughter. You’re my daughter. You should be doing things for me, looking after your father and I until you wed again.”

“Mom, I’m not getting married,” Namjoo stubbornly grounded. “I already talked to Dokeun about this. And you should tell him to stop coming to my workplace. It looks bad for me.”

“You have the nerve to talk to me like this?” her mother commanded.

Namjoo shut knowing she was in the wrong, but she couldn’t help it.

“I’ll make my own decisions,” Namjoo negotiated. “So stop pushing your will onto me.” 

Namjoo drove to work with a heavy heart. Pulling into the garage she immediately recognized Sehun inside his car. Waiting for her. Since when had waiting for her become a part of his routine?

“Good morning,” he greeted.

“Sorry about yesterday,” Namjoo apologized. “I didn’t know my mom would be coming.”

“No, it’s ok.”

“You were shocked,” Namjoo recalled.

“Well, it was quite the surprise to be honest,” Sehun scratched his jaw. She watched intensely. “It’s all right though. If I were her I would have reacted the same way. But…are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why?”

“Just…wondering if you may have gotten in trouble.”

Namjoo snorted, “I didn’t.”

“Then, that’s good.” 

Noticing her stare on his hand, he held up a pack, “Lunch.”

“Will it be salty?” Namjoo teased. Sehun scoffed as they went inside.

¤¤¤¤¤

Since when did things become so different Namjoo wondered. She was at the hospital lower level watching Yeol’s father complete his third week of therapy. He wasn’t walking, but they were helping him regain strength through his left arm. His left side had been spared from paralysis. Mother-in-law stood beside her. Pain in her once so blissful eyes. Concern for her husband who may lose his patience any second. Temper tantrums were the norm now. He hated himself, she had heard, for the way he had become. So useless.

There was a part time caretaker to help around. Namjoo had done a quick sweep of her background. With the middle-aged woman’s help Yeol’s mother could relieve some burdens. Was this what grief did to you? It tires you out, drains the energy out of you, and fogs the future with an endless gloom. And day after day you’d lie in bed wondering if it was better you were dead?

Yeol had left a hole in their lives. They had loved him that much. He had been that important.

No one was truly happy. Everyone had lost their way. Would they ever be able to rediscover the road they’d fallen off from and start walking with direction again? Did she have the heart to leave them behind to restart her own journey?

“He’s not there yet, but he is recovering which is not a bad thing. Everyone has their own pace at recovery, he’s just a little behind. How has he been at home?” The nurse quietly spoke with them outside the room.

Namjoo waited for Yeol’s mother to share details. She hadn’t spent time with them recently to know much. Maybe she should feel bad.

“Come over for dinner later,” Yeol’s mother invited as they walked outside. She had taken charge of wheeling her husband through the halls. Namjoo’s hands felt awkwardly empty since she had been doing it their previous visits.

“I’d like to,” Namjoo honestly replied, “but I made plans with a friend.”

A friend…

“That’s nice. You should go out sometimes,” Yeol’s mother encouraged. “I’ve been worried about how you were doing, whether you were taking care of yourself. It’s nice to hear you’re not always home. That’s unhealthy for you. Young people should get some air when they can.”

That made her wonder about Yeol’s parents. Have they constantly been tied at home?

“Should we go out sometime?” Namjoo suggested. “We could walk around the river this weekend. It’d be nice for father to get some fresh air. Mina must be busy, so I’ll take you two and we can enjoy some sunshine.”

“That would be lovely,” Yeol’s mother delighted.

Namjoo returned home and took Olly out for his walk. It was still too early to call it evening. She’d been anxious about Sehun’s invitation to go hiking. He made her excited about everything.

Back in her apartment Namjoo flipped through the channels while Olly played with his toys before deciding to take a nap beside her. The sky finally set a few hours following. Grabbing her keys, she left Olly and drove to Sehun’s unsure what to expect.

¤¤¤¤¤

Namjoo drove right into the parking lot when Sehun glanced at his watch. He had stepped out 10 minutes prior their meeting time just in case. The sky was clear tonight. The crescent moon shone prettily among the tiny stars. He could see the Milky Way twinkling.

“Hi,” he greeted as Namjoo reached. She was wearing a more comfortable change of clothing. Jeans and a t-shirt. So normal of her.

“Am I late?” she worried.

“Early as I am,” pivoting to start, “we can go over here.”

Namjoo followed him. Sehun kept in mind to slow his pace. He wanted to match steps with her tonight, because unlike any other night they were spending an evening together.

He introduced her to a staircase that led to the crest of the mountain. On the way up the fresh scent of timbers flowed under their noses and shared stories of elder ladies hiking to steal mushrooms and medicinal herbs. Around them crickets croaked love songs. An owl hooted nearby. Here, the rush of traffic seemed to exist only in fairytales.

“How did it go at the hospital?"

“It’s a slow path to recovery,” Namjoo answered.

The sound of nature flickering around them was so peaceful. It felt like a background medley to her pretty voice.

“Sorry to hear that.” He sympathized.

“I’m more worried about his mental health,” Namjoo elaborated. “If you’re not mentally healthy your body doesn’t function properly. You know what they say about the body’s functions being one.”

“Something like zen?”

Namjoo gave him a crossed look. “I’m not sure about that.”

“It’s the togetherness of the body and mind,” Sehun shrugged then laughed flustered. “Maybe I am wrong.”

Namjoo was enlightened by his effort anyway. “So, what’s good up here?”

“You’ll see when we get to the top,” Sehun promised.

They completed the last tier of footsteps finally meeting flat ground. The chorus of crickets was even louder up here. Under the shadows of the trees pretty flowers scattered around the area. The grass danced in the breeze as he led Namjoo toward the ridge fenced off with wooden stakes. Stacked bricks protected the other side for sturdiness. Down below glamorous gold lights trickled like an ensemble of Christmas lights. Life even in darkness she felt it was saying.

“Wow,” Namjoo gasped, “that’s amazing.”

“Beautiful, right?” Sehun leaned against the railing beside her. “Makes for a great view.”

“You could come up here any time you like,” Namjoo commented.

“You could come, too,” he offered. He quickly shifted when Namjoo's head tilted and realized he had been staring. Through the corner of his eye he caught her glimmering smile. His heart thundered daring him to move a little closer. Because once their arms brushed maybe they could get to know each other a little better.

“You can see the river from here,” Namjoo said, “and Banpo bridge. Have you been there? It has LED nozzles that shoots colorful jets of water. Makes a great place for touring and dates.”

“No, I haven’t, but I’d like to go.” Sehun stared at her hoping she knew it was her he’d like to go with.

“What places have you been to?” Namjoo asked. “I’m pretty sure you know your way around now.”

“It’s a big city,” he excused.

“It is.” She seemed to sigh. Staring deeply into the lights Namjoo reminisced, “Getting lost is just a part of the adventure. Until you eventually feel at home.”

She was starting to think about her husband again. Was it habit or was a place like this just nostalgic?

He was there. He didn’t want her mind wandering off. Most of all, he didn’t want to be getting jealous over a person that wasn’t here anymore. Sehun wanted to believe she was at least curious about him since she'd come. He wanted to know more about her, but it felt like he’d have to do it by understanding her grief first. The problem was, he didn’t know where to begin. Grief was a personal thing. It didn’t feel natural to talk to Namjoo about her deceased husband.

Even now he didn’t know how deep her grief went. How far she was from coming out of it. How ready she was to accept him and his feelings. Namjoo had said yes to everything, but how much good was that? Sehun liked that she was trying, but what distance could they travel together? Unless she was willing to invite him into her world he didn’t know if they'd make it to becoming a couple.

That was the hard part. The uncertainty of it.

He touched her arm just to let her know he was still there. “Do you…ever feel at home here?”

“Well, it’s where I live.”

“I don’t think that’s an answer,” Sehun somberly said.

She gave him a funny look. “Then do you feel at home?”

“I’m living here now, so it is home,” Sehun replied, “until I decide to move again.”

“Where’d you move to?”

He shrugged. “Not too sure. The future will decide itself.”

“If you get married, you probably would.”

“It depends where she is,” Sehun hastily added then quickly pressed his lips shut.

Namjoo averted her gaze as if she hadn’t been listening too closely. Now it was growing a slightly bit more awkward again. She would no more than assume he’d been thinking about marrying her. Oh, he hated when it became like this. Why had he let his mouth run so scrumptiously?

Sehun hesitated. Namjoo would look at the time and say it was late, that she would need to leave. Or he could say something to stop her. Embarrassment was only part of the journey. He didn’t want to let the night end so horribly like this. It was unfair.

“Have you ever felt at home here?” Sehun pressed. “Is it a place or is it a person?”

Her innocent bug-like eyes swung up at him. “Why are you…”

“I want to know,” he cut her off. “Just…I am curious.”

“I…I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”

“But you said…”

“It was in the spur of the moment,” Namjoo attested flummoxed. “I just got a little sentimental…”

“Would you feel at home with me?” he blurted.

His cheeks grew hot. Mind fuzzy. There was so many things he wanted to say, too many excuses to make. Sehun’s heart pounded so hard he might hyperventilate. Waiting for an answer had never felt so long. He liked her so much. He had never met someone so problematic and he had never wanted to stay beside someone like Namjoo. If she just took a step forward he would never ever look back.

“I think…I believe I could.” Her voice was quiet but not so low he would miss it.

He spent a moment stupefied. Real time rammed into his chest like a charging bull. Euphoria burst through him and if he was cackling like a maniac he wasn’t realizing it. All his bodily functions spun out of control, because he didn’t know how to celebrate her answer, so he did what a man like him could only manage to.

He kissed her.

When he tasted her lips he finally regained consciousness. Worry blast through him, finally. Had he moved too fast? Had he made Namjoo uncomfortable?

Sehun was prepared to release her, but his mind whirled out of control again when Namjoo kissed him. Tingles spread through the tips of his finger and he kissed her a little harder before letting go. His face may be flushed red, but all he could do when they looked at each other was idiotically smile like he'd never smiled before.

Shyly turning away from each other they leaned against the railing standing quietly but closely. Heart still thudding he never wanted to go back down.

His uncertainty became certain. Namjoo wanted him, too.

Timidly moving his hand he brushed fingers against the back of her hand courageously locking fingers with her. They had come to star gaze, but in the end it didn’t really matter what they had come for.

***This chapter literally took me the entire day! I have a lack of concentration and motivation to write, especially since my mind has been conjuring up the plot for my next story which I immediately want to start writing, but I shouldn't. If I start that one I will most definitely ditch this story. *frustrations of a writer*