“So, Sehun, do you live alone?” Chohee asked.

“I do.”

“Isn’t that just great,” Chohee winked at Mina.

“Stop it,” Mina warned.

Sehun glanced at Mina then asked, “Do you two perform with Mina?”

“We’re all a part of the same group,” Chohee replied.

“That’s right!” Jun clapped his hands together then pointed a finger at him. “I thought you looked familiar. You were downtown when we were doing a flash mob. I remember seeing you with your girlfriend.”

“What?” Chohee frowned at her boyfriend for saying something so incredulous.

Looking at his girlfriend, Jun explained, “They were with a dog. I saw them in the front.”

“That’s not his girlfriend,” Mina stated hotly.

“Oh, she’s not?” Jun looked at Sehun questioningly. “Then who is she?”

Sehun stared at the tabletop. He didn’t want to be sitting with these people he didn’t know. They seemed two or three years too young for him. Unable to share the same mindset.

“That’s my sister-in-law,” Mina exclaimed.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry,” Jun apologized. “Geez, I didn’t know. I thought your sister-in-law would have moved away after your brother…never mind. Forget it. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth.” He earned a slap on the arm from his girlfriend.

“Forget it, Mina,” Chohee coaxed. “Jun’s just an idiot.”

“If she married into our family, she’s forever in our family,” Mina glared. “She can never betray my brother.” Shoving her chair back she stood, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Sehun watched Mina stomp off feeling dejected himself. If Namjoo could never stop thinking about Yeol and his family, who could he ever be to her?

¤¤¤¤¤

“Here,” Haneul handed Namjoo a sandwich. They were meeting outside of Haneul’s work place, a small shopping mall. The friend had been able to snatch an early break thanks to another co-worker. After the call the best friend had quickly ordered food and drinks and waited for Namjoo to arrive.

“I haven’t called lately. How’s it going?” Namjoo asked taking a bite of the food. “Some fries would be nice.”

“Hey, you called on a short notice,” Haneul reminded. “And it’s same old stuff. My house is leaking, so I’ve been complaining to the landlord. God, that old man is awful.”

“I thought you were moving,” Namjoo recalled.

“Not yet. Bills, you know how it goes.”

“I know too well,” Namjoo smiled.

“So,” Haneul glanced at her, “you called all of a sudden. Something wrong?”

Haneul had spent the most time with her since Yeol died. If Namjoo was suffering the friend could guess it. Everyone had been too occupied in their own shambles, so Namjoo had shed tears with her friend.

“My mom thinks it’s time for me to move on,” Namjoo stared at the bricked ground. “She set me up with one of our neighborhood aunt’s son.”

“Oh,” Haneul murmured. “And?”

“He talked about marriage, a honeymoon, and a baby,” Namjoo grumbled still angry over it. “Obviously I’m the last resort for him.”

“Oh geez,” Haneul sympathized. “Well I’m guessing it didn’t go so well on your part.”

“I walked out on him, but he told my mom he likes me and wants to get it going.” Namjoo shared. “My mom called, she says to give him a chance. She and dad are worried. They don’t want me living alone. He’s their best choice.”

“I’m sorry,” Haneul apologized.

Namjoo withheld a sigh then glanced at her friend, “I’m not ready, Haneul.”

“I know.” Wrapping an arm around her the friend rubbed her shoulder. “I know.”

“They say it like it’s so easy to do,” Namjoo frustratingly said, “but I just can’t. No one understands that I can’t do it right now. It still feels like yesterday when I lost him, so how can they make rules with my emotions and tell me there’s a deadline to grieving.”

“You know some people heal love with love,” Haneul pointed out. “Everyone takes different steps towards healing. You can take five more years and it’s completely ok. When it happens, it’ll happen so naturally you won’t even know. Your mom is just being a mom. I can tell you already it won’t work out.” Smiling, Haneul nudged her. “It’ll be ok.”

¤¤¤¤¤

When Namjoo arrived back at work she spotted Sehun entering the elevator. Spotting her he held the elevator open for her. Approaching the lift, they glanced at each other hesitantly as if there might be something to say. Glancing away Namjoo stepped in and punched the button to their department. Quite strangely, they were alone in the elevator. Anxious, Namjoo dug nails into her fingers driven by an urge to do something.

Abruptly turning she glanced up at him, “Tomorrow.”

“What?” he shifted expectantly, as if he, too, had been waiting to talk.

Guilty for turning lunch down, Namjoo nervously said, “I’ll bring lunch tomorrow.”

There was a small gleam in his eyes. She caught the small movement of his lips inching up. Seeing it sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

This was really uncalled for.

“Tomorrow?” he repeated.

“Oh...yea,” Namjoo answered. “If there’s something you want to eat, I’ll cook.”

“Yea, there’s something,” he smiled.

¤¤¤¤¤

In the small nick of time Sehun already felt all better. Whatever had been spoken at lunch had completely dissipated from his memory. All he cared about now was tomorrow’s lunch.

Lying in bed he to his side and laughed gleefully. Namjoo was cooking just for him.

Though it was already late into the night Sehun climbed out of bed. Hitting the lights he hurried over to the closet and began going through his available choices of clothes. Touching a shirt he also wondered about his hair. Deciding he’d worry about that after choosing an outfit he transferred attention to the task at hand. Pulling out a clean white button down he chose black pants to match. The clock continued ticking as he found his ironing table and iron and put himself to work.

Sehun ended up sleeping late but he woke up on time, dressed, ate a light breakfast, and left for work feeling as alive as ever. Whistling as he pulled into the parking lot he gave himself a last checkup before stepping out of his car. Quietly applauding his perfect timing when Namjoo pulled up.

“Good morning,” he cheerily greeted walking up to her.

“Oh…hi.” Today her hair was down and loose. Sehun thought about touching it just as he had in his dream. Flushing, he looked away firmly smiling.

“I saw Mina yesterday,” Sehun started as they headed toward the elevator.

“For lunch?” Namjoo asked.

“Well,” he explained not wanting her to assume he’d been on a date, because it hadn’t been one. “I just met up with her for lunch. She’s back home now.”

“Is she?” Namjoo said. “That’s good to hear.”

“Your…” he started then paused. He didn’t want to think of her as a married woman. Mentioning in-laws meant he thought of her that way. Namjoo was single to him. And he wanted her to be available. “I mean, her parents haven’t told you?”

“I haven’t been able to talk to them,” Namjoo explained. “But thanks for telling me.”

Breathing relieved he followed her into the elevator. He couldn’t wait to get the rest of the morning over with.

¤¤¤¤¤

Yeol always gave way to his younger sister. If Mina wanted something her parents made sure she got it. That was how it was when they were younger. That was the way it was until Yeol died.

Namjoo flicked a thumb against her nail. They were having a meeting, but she wasn’t paying attention. Her mind was elsewhere. On Yeol and spoiled Mina. On Sehun.

Sehun was her Yeol, but not in that kind of way. There was a line Namjoo knew she wouldn’t cross. She liked Sehun but Mina liked him more – boyfriend-wise. If Mina wanted him, Namjoo would give way. Yet a part of her rejected the ridiculous idea.

The meeting finally ended and Namjoo headed out. Returning to the office she resumed work. Distracted when she spotted a blur of color in the doorway. Handsomely in black and white Sehun smiled. “It’s lunch time.”

He was suave with his hair neatly slicked across his forehead. Maybe it was her carelessness but she hadn’t noticed how broad his shoulders were. Namjoo always knew he was tall but today he was casually striking. Cheeks growing hot she realized she was staring. Namjoo looked away heart racing so fast she felt out of breath.

Reaching around the desk for her phone embarrassed she clumsily hit over a stack of papers. Sliding her chair back she knelt down to gather the papers. Unable to pay attention to the handsome man in her doorway her eyes shakily searched for every last sheet she could grab. Then Sehun was down on his knees helping her. Dropping the papers from surprise she internally screamed quickly drawing back when her fingertips skimmed the back of his hand. Insides quivering she stole a glance but in the process knocked her head into his. Painfully yelping she finally got to her feet rubbing her head. Sehun collected the rest of the papers and neatly set them on her desk.

“Are you ok?” He rubbed the fore of his head. “Sorry, I have a hard head.”

She glanced at him again then away saying quietly, “I’ll uh…meet you in the cafeteria.”

“What?” he asked.

“I…” she glanced at him timidly again then away, “left the lunch box in my car.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Cheeks pinking she immediately turned to peek at him bashfully. Well, there was no point arguing unless she wanted to keep standing here. Namjoo didn’t think she could take another moment of standing in this room alone with him.

Namjoo fiddled with her name tag as they rode the elevator to the garage. She couldn’t think of anything to say. Suddenly feeling muddled and embarrassed she stood like a frozen statue. Hopefully, Sehun was paying no attention to her.

She rushed out when the lift hissed open. Snatching the lunch box from the passenger’s seat she closed the door and turned abruptly halting. Sehun was standing directly behind her. Catching her breath she felt the world spin.

“I’ll carry it,” Sehun offered taking the lunch box. Giving her a teeny smile he pivoted to go back inside. Finally breathing again Namjoo gaped after him, wondering if she was over-feeling everything.

¤¤¤¤¤

Discovering an empty table in the corner they sat. Bliss flourished through him very simply when Namjoo unveiled their lunch. The food was delicately packed and smelled amazing. He could already imagine savoring the food in his mouth.

“I hope it’s to your liking,” she said.

“It looks good,” he beamed and tasted the food giving a nod of approval. “Have some. It’s delicious.”

He watched Namjoo slowly dig her spoon into the container. His heart leapt a little. They were sharing a meal for the first time and it couldn’t be any better than this. Grinning he hoped he didn’t look like an idiot.

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Sehun asked.

She glanced at him. “Why?”

“It’s just…Mr. Go gave me an invitation,” Sehun started. “I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

That would be a date or like one at least. His heart fluttered at the imagery of Namjoo in a pretty gown.

“I’m going.”

“Oh…you got an invitation, too?” he asked and wondered if he’d sounded stupid inviting her.

“I’ve known Mr. Go since I started working here. Since he invited me, I should go. You’re not going?”

“I’m going,” he chirped then shrunk wondering if he had spoken too loudly. Calming down he added, “If he invited me, I should go, too.”

Maybe Namjoo wasn’t interested in talking anymore, but his mind rumbled with too many words. Perking up he went on, “Are you doing anything after work?”

“No.”

“Then,” he hesitated, “I was thinking, I only have work attire but nothing nice to wear. Do you know a good place to go shopping?”

“There are…some places,” she slowly replied.

“Would you,” he hesitated again, “want to go with me?”

¤¤¤¤¤

Namjoo literally ran back to her office after lunch. Her heart was thumping really hard. She felt abnormally out of breath. She would go with him she had said. Now she was thinking she’d lost her brain somewhere.

The rest of the day was spent eagerly staring at the clock. What if something happened during the time they were together and she only ended up humiliating herself? What if, by the end of the day, she looked even more unattractive?

Instinctively, she reached up to grasp the necklace around her neck. What was she thinking? How would Yeol think her if he saw her like this?

Alleviating her uncertainty into guilt Namjoo forced herself to stop pondering. She only managed to keep that up until she went home, let Olly out for his walk, and Sehun showed up at her doorway with his usual, “Hi.”

¤¤¤¤¤

Very much like her, Sehun had nervously pondered over how the rest of the afternoon would flow. If he would embarrass himself or end the day feeling ridiculed. Yet he was upbeat though very shy. He had only been this shy with his first crush and didn’t think he could feel this way again. As a person grew older he thought they would know more about the stages of love, face obstacles bravely. Maybe he was wrong.

There were all kinds of relationships. People of all ages and groups fell in love every day, all the time, and always it was a new start. So many possibilities bringing people together, linking them. Like him. Possessing feelings for a widow.

What, if Namjoo ever wondered, did she think about starting anew? What did she think her husband would have to say? Was that holding her back?

“Hi, Olly,” Sehun greeted and leaned down to pet the dog trying to claw at his leg.

“I didn’t expect you to come all the way up,” Namjoo commented still holding onto the door.

“Oh…sorry. I wasn’t sure whether to call or wait outside.”

“It’s ok. Just let me grab my things,” Namjoo said then walked away.

“I’ll drive,” he offered.

“Do you know your way around the city?” Namjoo asked when they hit the road. His engine whirred. Blasts of wind shot through the open windows. The radio boomed as cars zipped past. Namjoo’s hair appeared to melt into the air. He caught a glimpse of her neckline.

“I’m familiar with the roads now,” he replied. “I turned into the opposite lane once and caused a traffic block, but I learned my mistake.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“I survived,” he beamed proudly. “I’m more careful now.”

“The roads are quite dangerous,” she agreed.

“So, where are we going?” he questioned.

“There’s a store at the mall that sells decent clothes at a fair price,” Namjoo explained. “Haneul is a manager in one of the shops. You remember Haneul, right?”

“You set me up with her,” Sehun remembered, “her, right?”

“Oh…yea,” Namjoo nodded staring down at her hands.

“You’re not going to set me up anymore, are you?” he joked. She glanced at him faintly smiling and shrugged.

Sehun pulled up into the strip mall parking lot and Namjoo led him inside. They wound down the intertwining halls its beige floors shining gold. Chatter resonated noisily around him. Rich retail shops bustled with life and children waiting in line to pay. Everyone seemed to be here if not outside this late afternoon.

Finally reaching a store with a couple of mannequins dressed in high fashion, they entered greeted by an employee. The radio was playing overhead. The walls, a super white, enhanced the freshness and brightness of the store. Customers were quietly conversing. By the counter a woman was being rung up. Racks of defined clothes surrounded them in the dozens. If Namjoo was any shorter he might have already lost her.

Walking over to the men’s section Namjoo immediately began observing her options. Watching Sehun's heart fluttered. She was deeply absorbed, concentrated. Not her first time shopping for or with a man. Knew what she was doing and what she to search for. If they got together some day she might look like this buying something for him. But they were already here and she was searching for her choice of his clothing.

Turning around naturally, she held out a deep blue shirt, “What size do you wear?”

Their eyes locked. Sehun in his breath. He was both embarrassed but happy. Cheeks turning a different shade of pink from euphoria. Namjoo in her breath as well and he watched her blush.

Were they the same after all?

***(*´ 艸`)(´艸 `*)