Pure shock zipped through him. Sehun’s eyes sat on her, but Namjoo had yet to look at him to complete her full confession. He didn’t think they were anywhere near the point of hitting it off, so to hear this from her was bewildering.

“But I don’t like you because of you.”

The shock began fading faster than anticipated. Now he was confused, puzzled.

“My husband Park Chanyeol died three years ago,” Namjoo started, “I loved him, I still do. And I miss him and I wish he was still here with me, but he’s not. But you…you’re just like him. You laugh like him, you smile like him, and it’s all I think about…and it scares me.” She squeezed her bag again and a drop of tear landed beside her hand. “So sometimes I wish you were him.”

Namjoo’s mouth trembled. She set her jaw to stop it. “It aggravates me when you’re around. I don’t hate you, but I’d also like it if you don’t show up around me.”

Pushing the door open Namjoo left. Thirty seconds later her car started down the street leaving him in the dust.

¤¤¤¤¤

“Are you sick?” Mina called from the bedroom doorway.

After getting back home, Namjoo had taken Olly out for a two block walk then returned. Ever since returning she’d been in bed. She was depleted of energy and she was stressed. This evening she wanted to call it quits. The grief of Yeol’s mother and Yeol’s father’s situation weighed on her heavily. Mina depending on her made it a little harder. She would stand for them, but tonight she just wanted to not deal with anything.

“I just want to sleep,” Namjoo buried her face into the pillow.

“I’m going to go out,” Mina continued. “Do you mind if I borrow some money? I don’t have any allowance right now. It’s embarrassing to ask someone to pay for dinner for me.”

“My purse is on the table,” Namjoo murmured.

“Sleep well,” Yeol’s sister called back. A moment later the door closed. Alone at last, Namjoo curled up under the blanket and prayed for sleep.

¤¤¤¤¤

Sehun never knew before how it was to resemble someone so much that it hurt someone else. This was the first case in his life. It was still a shock.

The Park Chanyeol he had seen at Namjoo’s place looked nothing like him. They had no similar physical attributes, but that was only to say because he didn’t know the man. And he didn’t know how it really felt to bury the person closest to you. He was just sorry for Namjoo, but now that she was honest…he didn’t really feel so good.

Plucking the grass in front of him mindlessly he tossed them aside. A cruise ship slowly passed by with the sun drooping behind it. Everyone seemed to have a place today, but he had fallen out.

So, there were reasons why Namjoo had kissed him when she was drunk. He had been someone else to her. Sehun scoffed and plucked out more grass. Now he felt like an insane fool for kissing her that one time. He must have looked crazy in her eyes.

Forget it he concluded standing to his feet. If it was like this then it was like this. If Namjoo didn’t want him near her he’d just have to respect her wishes. He wasn’t impudent at the least and he wouldn’t be immature about it. Yet, even as he settled on his resolution he was still curious about who Park Chanyeol was.

The following morning when he passed Namjoo in the hallway she didn’t even look at him. He would have stopped her to say hi, chat for a few minutes but he simply watched her go. It was awkward to be so distant when it felt like they’d done so much together recently. This was his first time experiencing something like it.

His phone vibrated just before lunchtime. It was a text from Mina saying she wanted to invite him out for lunch. He about declined but then agreed.

They met at a nearby lounge with a mini-bar and were served tacos and soup.

“Thanks for coming out,” Mina said.

“I don’t mind if I get to eat,” Sehun said digging into his plate. “By the way, I forgot to mention that you were really good yesterday. Have you thought about joining a dance competition?”

“I’ve won a few trophies,” Mina beamed proudly, “but I haven’t had the chance recently.”

“You should make the time,” he encouraged. “You should do what you’re able to when you can. Time flies by real quick.”

“I know,” Mina shyly smiled, “but my family doesn’t support me.”

He shouldn’t have but he asked anyway, “What about your brother?”

“My brother?” she repeated sounding surprised he mentioned him.

“You have a brother, don’t you?”

Her expression grew sullen, “He passed away a few years ago.”

“I’m asking, what did he think?” Sehun clarified. “You must’ve liked performing since you were younger.”

“I never invited him to see me dance,” Mina quietly said. Sehun wondered if she was filled with regret. Losing precious time with the only brother she had when she could have done so much before the tragedy.

“How was he like?” Sehun wondered.

“My brother?” Mina asked. “Oh, he was really smart. My parents adored him. Everyone liked him, he was practically the talk of town. In school, all the girls knew him but at home he was just like any other brother. We were all surprised when he wanted to get married early. I’m glad he got married early though. At least he fell in love and experienced all that stuff before going.” She looked out the window. “But I feel kind of sad for Namjoo. Now she has no one left.” Shrugging, she turned to him, “What about you? Have you thought about getting married?”

“What? Me?” he asked surprised. He’d been waiting to hear more about her brother and Namjoo. “Oh no, I haven’t thought about it at all.”

“Really? I feel like we’re alike,” Mina grinned. “I’ve no thoughts about settling down. Who wants kids and a guy to be bossing you around.”

“Right,” he nonchalantly agreed.

Mina’s phone beeped and she hurriedly glanced at it. In the next second she quickly wolf down the rest of the food as if someone might take the food from her. Standing she apologized, “Sorry, but I have to go. My dad’s leaving the hospital and Namjoo’s picking me up.”

“Your dad’s in the hospital?” Sehun asked.

She nodded, “He had a kind of heart attack a few days ago.”

“If you’re in a hurry, I can take you,” he offered.

“Really?” Her eyes brightened with hope.

He nodded. “I just have to go back and get my car. We should get to the hospital in less than half an hour.”

“If you don’t mind,” Mina said. “You haven’t even finished your food.”

“I’m quite full,” Sehun excused standing as well. “Lets go.”

When they were finally down the road minutes later he inquired, “How is your dad? Is he recovered?”

“The doctor said his right side is paralyzed and he’ll have trouble talking, so he needs therapy,” Mina explained. “It’s kind of…really bad. My mom is always crying.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“Me too,” she quietly agreed, “but I know it’ll be ok…soon. Besides, all they want is for Namjoo to figure out everything for them. They go to her for everything, you know? She’s almost like a replica of Yeol.” Mina laughed to herself. “It’s kind of funny.”

Kind of funny because he was learning everything through a third party. Thinking back, he realized why Namjoo had taken a short leave from work and why she had looked so tired. He wondered, if they leaned on her who did she have to go to?

“Thanks so much for the ride,” Mina thanked him when he pulled up to the hospital. “Can I see you again tomorrow?”

“Why not?” he asked.

Smiling, Mina waved as she stepped out. Giving the hospital a last glance he stepped on the accelerator and hurried off.

¤¤¤¤¤

Namjoo was helping the nurse get her father-in-law into a wheelchair provided by the hospital when the door opened.

“Where are you coming from?” Mina’s mother interrogated. “Why didn’t you come with Namjoo?”

The girl looked struck at the scolding she was getting instead of being grateful that she had shown up. “Oh…I’m sorry.”

“She must’ve been busy,” Namjoo helped then asked, “could you get that bag from the bed?”

As Mina passed, Namjoo grabbed the handles of the wheelchair. Once they started out into the hallway, Yeol’s mother asked, “How are we going to get this thing into your car? We should have rented a van.”

“I’ll make it work,” Namjoo promised. “If you’re all right squeezing in the back, Mina can sit with me up front.”

“If that will work,” Yeol’s mother sighed. She looked exhausted but hopeful that they were going back home at last.

Leaning forward, Namjoo assured Yeol’s father, “We’re going home soon, father. Would you like to eat soup? The doctor recommended soup. I’ll make you something delicious when we get you home.”

The old man didn't respond. To have his able life taken from him must give him lots of grief. Namjoo sympathized. All she could do was be good to them.

Helping him into the car was a simple process as would folding and tucking the wheelchair away into the trunk of her car with Mina’s help. When she slid into the driver’s seat she caught sight of Park Ahnjong holding her husband’s hand. It was a sweet sight, but when she started the car she glanced at Mina who sat in silence. She was guilty, felt all of it through 100% of her body.

“Did you eat?” Namjoo asked as they started down the road.

“Yea,” Mina peered out her side window. Namjoo knew heading home with her parents was more of a duty of a daughter than an obligation.

They arrived home well within the hour. Mina held open the door for them and as Yeol’s mother wheeled her husband into their bedroom Namjoo naturally went into the kitchen to prepare a meal. Mina went with her instead of her mother.

“Would you like to help?” Namjoo asked with the fridge door open against her arm. Mina was sitting at the table solemnly.

“I’ll just ruin the food,” she grumbled.

“Your father would appreciate that you helped make his food,” Namjoo tried. Mina stared off without replying. Deciding not to probe her further, Namjoo pulled out ingredients and set herself to work.

“Will you be coming back with me?” Namjoo asked after rinsing the vegetables. When she didn’t reply again Namjoo turned to find Yeol’s sister silently shedding tears. That was when she dropped the knife and walked over to her.

She chose to sit beside Mina so they felt like equals instead of crouching in front of her and treating her like a child. “What’s wrong, Mina?”

“My parents hate me. How am I supposed to stay here?”

“They don’t hate you.”

“Then why do they treat me like this?” she sobbed. “They hate what I want to do, they don’t even listen or understand me. They just want to take everything away from me and make me like everyone else’s daughter. But I don’t want to get married or go to college.”

“They care about you, Mina.” Namjoo soothed.

“No, they don’t,” Mina wiped her cheek. “They probably wish it was me who died and not Yeol.”

A wedge in Namjoo’s heart angled in deeper. Maybe it was also her fault Mina felt like she had no place at home. It was all about Yeol.

She was about to speak but someone rasped from the kitchen doorway, “How dare you?” Yeol’s mother’s expression was struck with anguish and anger. Walking in she hauled her daughter to her feet, yelling, “How are you able to think like that when your father is this way?! Do you want to die too?!”

“Mother,” Namjoo reached for the woman’s arm. “Please.”

“No,” Yeol’s mother shot at her. “I have to teach this girl and put her in her place.”

Namjoo sighed and bit down on her teeth.

“That’s right,” Mina angrily agreed, “I should die, too, shouldn’t I? Then you would be happier without me!”

Namjoo’s mouth dropped open when the elder woman slapped her daughter. Mina whimpered, pressed a hand to her wounded cheek as her mother breathed angrily with hand trembling. Whose side was she to take? How could Namjoo protect both women from further aggravating the other?

Swiveling, Mina darted out of the house with the door slamming behind her. Namjoo took a step after her but Yeol’s mother took her arm and shook her head.

“Let her go,” Yeol’s mother breathed deplored and dropped into the seat previously occupied by her daughter. Covering her face, she wept, “What did I just do?”

Worried, Namjoo knelt down in front of her and took her hand. Rubbing the specific hand she had used to hit her own flesh. “Mina is having a hard time. I know you are, too, but mother trying to lock her down to set her down the path you want for her isn’t helping her.”

“I’m just worried she’ll go astray with those people. They’ll trick her, they’ll hurt her. Mina isn’t smart. She’s impulsive. She doesn’t think ahead.”

“We all learn from mistakes, mother,” Namjoo sympathized. “You can’t protect her forever.” Grasping the woman’s hands between hers she soothed, “Let her do what she wants. Let her dance and perform. School will always be here, she can go back any time. Believe in her once.”

After getting Yeol’s mother to lie down on the couch for some rest, Namjoo finished making lunch and brought a bowl of soup to Yeol’s father. The man was lying down in bed staring at the ceiling. His eyes glanced her way when she stepped in. Pushing all feelings away, Namjoo pulled on a smile. Setting the tray aside she helped pull the old man up, propping a pillow at his back.

“I just made it, so it’s still pretty hot,” Namjoo said sitting down at the edge of the bed. Scooping up a spoonful of the soup she helped feed Yeol’s stricken father. He suddenly seemed so old it was painful.

When she first got married with Yeol, his father was still enegertic, flowing with the blood of a youth. He had danced at their wedding, had even given her a rose that made everyone laugh. Always breaking a joke with her and treating her like his own. A creative man who loved working on making old pieces new again. Those nimble hands of his would never come to use again.

Tears sparkled in her eyes when the man quietly shed tears and gripped her hand. In just a few years his hands were so frail having become skinny and cold.

Namjoo bid her farewell an hour later after cleaning up. She returned to work to punch in her hours and quickly left in search of Mina. She worried the girl would have no place to go. Did she even have money on her?

She spent the rest of the evening going from the girl’s usual meeting places to running around downtown in search of her friends. She discovered some of them smoking and drinking, but none had seen her. When the sun went down Namjoo grew hopeless. Where to go from now?

Reluctantly, she returned home but she couldn’t wake up the next morning.

¤¤¤¤¤

Sehun was midway through his solo dinner when his phone beeped. He headed out to find Mina half an hour later sitting by the river staring up at the Banpo bridge. Sitting alone watching the moonlight rainbow fountain with a few drinks beside her. It was obvious from the sight that tonight wasn’t going well for her.

“Are you ok?” Sehun walked up to her. “What are you doing here by yourself?”

Mina glanced at him and held a hand up to wave. She said nothing more, so he ended up sitting with her. It was quiet except for the noise of the water spouting from the bridge. It was hot and there were still tourists and couples around, but Mina was all by herself.

“Aren’t you scared out here?” Sehun asked. “And why are you drinking?”

“Maybe if I fall in the water I won’t be able to swim back up.” She dully said.

“Hey,” he warned.

“I’m kidding,” she looked at him jokingly. That was when he noticed the sparkle in her eyes, but it wasn’t a reflection of the stars in the sky. She’d been crying.

“What’s wrong?” Sehun wondered.

Like he had, she plucked at the grass by her feet and tossed the strands aside. “I was always jealous of him, but I envied him, too. He was typical, but he was nice and protective. Of course, we argued, but that was natural for us. He was my only brother after all. He shouldn’t have died that night. Stupid idiot.”

Mina plucked the grass more aggressively this time. Then tossing the greens away, “I can’t help but think that I should have died that night. My parents would be happier, everyone would be. My parents hate me, you know. They probably wonder why I’m alive instead of my brother.”

“And if they did?” Sehun asked.

“I don’t know,” Mina mumbled. “They don’t like anything I do. They hate me.”

“Sounds to me like they’re just typical parents,” Sehun mused.

“You don’t even know.”

“Have you considered that they treat you that way, because they’re afraid of losing you?” Sehun asked. At hearing this, Mina sat quietly. “I don’t know your brother, but I’m sure he was a great guy and losing him hurt everyone. It’s ok to still be hurt you know, but it’s not ok to think you should have died instead. He wouldn’t be happy to hear that.”

Covering her face Mina cried. Sehun hugged her and waited for her to collect herself before giving her a ride home.

“You’re not staying with Namjoo?” Sehun wondered puzzled.

“Not today,” Mina stared out the window of his car. “I’m staying with a friend.”

The next morning he intended to look for Namjoo and assure her that Mina was safe with her friend, but even as he looked she wasn’t at work.

***More HunJoo coming up! Note: I need her to reject him before events start spinning into motion