Have you ever thought that someone might have loved you before? But you were too head over heels for another person that you were too busy to notice them. They were always by your side until they found a person that could love them more than you could. You were too dumb and stupid to make a move first and you lost your chance.

You realise that the person you were head over heels for was a completely different person with a bad personality. You would think in your mind, "How did I overlooked all these flaws?", "Is he/she the person that I really loved and liked?'' or "How could I be so blind?".

When you move on, you tend to recall the past and those precious moments, precious people.

.

Chaeyoung.

...

I first met her in my first year, where we both entered the school as freshmen. We weren't close at first, hell we didn't talk much at all. She was always sitting with her group of friends and I sat with mine. I belonged to the noisy, fun group while she was the normal type of school girl. We had some instances of just small talk but that was it. Chaeyoung was just...how to put it...a side character in my mind. She didn't had any impact, just...normal.

If there's a side character, there must be a main right? And that was, Sana.

I really really liked her then. She looked beautiful and had big eyes. Her long wavy hair always seemed to capture my attention. If she's that pretty, wouldn't there be competition right? Yeah, her looks definitely attracted alot of people. She could dance well too.

I said I "liked" her back then reason being, it was just a small crush that you couldn't call it "love". Now, after I grew up and moved on to pursue higher education, I can clearly tell people my definition of "love". To me, love means liking the person entirely as a whole, not just their facial and body features. Most importantly, to fall in love is to fall in love with their personality. Their looks are second.

I don't know what I was thinking back then but I believed that I thought I loved Sana because y'know she was...pretty. The young and foolish me couldn't tell apart a crush and love back then.

I must be crazy back then.

I confessed to Sana and got rejected. 

4 times.

Yes, FOUR times in 4 years.

Each time I got rejected, I found courage thinking that rejection is just only rejection, it wasn't the end of the world. I could still try again until I felt like giving up for real. Contrary to what most people do after rejection was to get over it and move on but for me it was the opposite. Now that I've recalled my past, I feel so dumb.

What was Chaeyoung's part you might ask?

Chaeyoung and Sana were part of the same group of friends. They hung out with each often, knew each other well. That was their relationship. Naturally, she would also have gotten wind of "DAHYUN'S RECORD BREAKING 4 TIMES REJECTION" from the person herself.

I still blamed myself for what happened back then. I made use of Chaeng. I still feel guilty now. What happened was I wanted to get close to Sana, to learn more about her. To learn more about what she likes, to learn about who she likes, to learn about her personality(?). But first, I needed to get close t