“I am ... breaking up with you oppa.” 

Ji Eun  blurted out the sentence, at the same time she could hear her own heart breaking and she refused to look at him. She knew how that would hurt him so much more. There was silence hanged in the air for a second, two second,  three… she quietly counted in her mind. The pain became worse by each seconds, she felt like drowning, deeper and making her impossible to breath.

“Is that what you really want?”

Finally he spoke out; his voice was calm and gentle.

‘Wae… shouldn’t he be angry? Or at least hurt? How could he be so calm? Did he expect this?’                    

Ji Eun bit her shaking lips, clutched her hand tight to find strength.

‘I don’t want this… I never wanted this… but … he will hurt you…and I don’t want that even more ’

“Ji… look at me, please?”

She closed her eyes, her clutched hands were shaking, and she started to taste blood in . She had bitten her lower lips so hard that it drew blood. Then she felt his finger touched her chin softly.

“Look at me, please?” his voice now was so soft, it was almost a whisper.

 She finally opened her eyes and gazed at his gentle face. He smiled when their eyes met, his finger that was on her chin softly brushed her lips.

“I am here, I am not going anywhere… “

“No… you don’t understand oppa… you need to go.”

“No… You know how I would love to do all of your request, but sorry not for this one,” he pulled her in his hug again.

“Didn’t you hear? I am breaking up with you oppa!” She snapped at him and struggled to push him back.

“I hear you… I just refused to acknowledge it,” he stubbornly kept her in his hug.

“Let me go!” Ji Eun pushed him with all her might; she started to hit him, her hand and legs flailed around, trying with all the power she had left to break the hug.

‘Oppa… Oppa… why… can’t you see this is the best way I could think of to protect you? Please let me go…’

“You are hurting me! Let me go!!” She shouted desperately.

“I am sorry…,” he said finally letting her go.

‘No… don’t say sorry… it’s not your fault… it’s never been your fault… I was the one who is hurting you oppa…’ 

Silence returned, both of them with their own thought.

“Tell me…, is that what you really want?” he broke the silence again, this time she could hear the pain in his voice.

“Look at me and tell me if that’s what you really want.”

Ji Eun gathered her strength and forced herself to look at him straight in the eyes.

“Yes…,” she said but in the last second her eyes betrayed her… she just couldn’t do it.

“No..., it isn’t what you really want…, your eyes telling me that it isn’t.”

“You don’t understand, oppa! I need to break up with you… we can’t be together!”

“Yes, I don’t understand… so make me understand Ji Eun ah… tell me why can’t we be together? Why do we need to break up when neither of us want it? It just doesn’t mak