~ Jungkook’s POV ~

I feel his soft lips against mine and everything that I was worried about washes away. I put all my love into the kiss I’m giving Taehyung. I feel an arm snake around my waist and his head moves ever so slightly.

I wake up earlier than I was supposed to. The things the Jimin said to me have been bothering me constantly. I know that he’s right, though. I know that Taehyung and I can’t be together, no matter how much I want to be with him.

But what’s bothering me more than not being with Taehyung, is how Jimin clings to him. I don’t mean to get jealous because Jimin is like a brother to me, but knowing that he has feelings for Taehyung as well… I can’t help but feel jealous.

I want what they have. I want to be able to have the same relationship with my hyung but I know that if I do, I’ll develop stronger feelings for him. I can’t jeopardise his job just because of my selfish reasonings. 

I look over at my hyung and see him peacefully sleeping. I walk over to Taehyung and touch his soft face. I squat down and look at him sleeping so peacefully. The more I look at him, the stronger my feelings grow.

“Hyung…” I sigh looking at his sleeping face. “I want to tell you everything. I want to tell you that I’ve fallen in love with you. I want to tell you that when I see you my chest tightens and I can’t keep calm. I want you to know that when you and Jimin are being really close I feel as though I can’t breathe properly and my heart hurts. I want to tell you what Jimin told me. I want you to know the pain I’m going through while doing this. I want you to know everything and to hug me and tell me it’s alright… Hyung. I really want to tell you the stress I’m going through.” A tear falls from my eye and lands on Taehyung cheek.

I wipe the tear off his cheek and my thumb unintentionally brushes across his lips. I look down at his soft lips and my usual desire to kiss him comes back. I try to fight it off but my heart aches at the thought. Just this once. I think to myself. I’ll kiss him just this once and then I’ll let him go out of my heart.

I lower my head slowly and stop when I can feel his breath on my lips. My heart is beating so hard that I feel as though it’ll burst from my chest. I feel my body shaking slightly with nerves. I close my eyes and lower my head the rest of the way.

I feel his soft lips against mine and everything that I was worried about washes away. I put all my love into the kiss I’m giving Taehyung. I feel an arm snake around my waist and his head moves ever so slightly.

My eyes snap open. Taehyung is awake. I think to myself. I feel Taehyung’s lips move gently and I break the kiss off quickly. I stand up immediately and back up to my bed. I look at Taehyung and notice his body still looks peaceful.

“I love you,” Taehyung mutters.

I feel my heart race from the words. Is Taehyung telling me that he loves me? I quickly go back to Taehyung. I look at Taehyung for a moment and my heart drops as I notice something I should’ve noticed before. He’s still asleep. I think to myself. Everything that just happened, happened only because he’s still asleep.

I sigh and decide to have a shower. I promised myself that after I kiss him I’ll get over him, so that’s what I must start doing. I don’t know how I’ll do it yet, but I know that if I don’t get over him, I won’t be able to stay as just friends with him. I know that if I’m more than friends with him then his career will be over and it’ll be all my fault. He and I will lose our career and we’ll lose each other because he’ll hate me, I can’t deal with that.

After my shower, I walk out in my towel and see that Taehyung is awake. Taehyung’s eyes drift over my body which makes me feel semi-self-conscious. I bite my lip nervously as he looks away from my body.

“You should go for a shower hyung,” I say and Taehyung nods.

Taehyung walks past me but stops for a moment, “Are you feeling okay this morning? You seemed really stressed last night.” Taehyung turns to me and stares at me sympathetically.

I look away from his sympathetic gaze knowing that if I stare any longer I’ll fall more in love with him. I give him a nod in response and then go to get dressed. I hear the shower turn on a few moments later and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“How will I be able to avoid him while we’re living together for a week? I need to avoid him so life doesn’t become any more stressful. I just need him out of my life right now.” I ask myself out loud.

“Why do I make your life stressful?” Taehyung asks.

I feel my body stiffen knowing that Taehyung is right behind me. I turn slowly and can see the hurt in his eyes. I bite my lip awkwardly not knowing how to respond. I can’t tell him the truth, but what is a suitable lie?

“Jungkook. What have I done wrong?” Taehyung asks in the most serious tone I’ve ever heard him use.

“You didn’t do anything wrong hyung.” I sigh.

“Then why are you trying to block me out of your life?!” Taehyung yells.

I’m taken aback by the sudden anger Taehyung has. I’ve never heard Taehyung raise his voice at any of the members. He’s always happy and has a go-lucky attitude. Hearing him raise his voice makes my guilt magnify by an immense amount.

“It’s not your fault,” I repeat.

“Jungkook.” Taehyung grits his teeth and takes a deep breath. “Please, tell me what’s going on.” He says calmer but his voice is obviously shaky. “I can’t deal with this.” Taehyung runs his hand through his hair.

“Hyung…” I bite my lip. “Please understand.” I grab his hand.

Taehyung looks down at our hands and stares at them for a while. I feel his tense body start loosening up. Taehyung looks at me, his eyes have lost the same spark that they used to have in them.

“Hyung…” I squeeze his hand but he takes his hand back.

“I’m going for a shower,” Taehyung says and does just that.

I sigh sitting on my bed. I’ve obviously hurt Taehyung more than he can handle. He’s not one to show when he’s hurt, so seeing his attitude be like this, it breaks my heart. I haven’t seen him smile a genuine smile ever since he had his suspicions that I was shutting him out. I’m ruining his happiness because I’m trying to get over him. The worst part – I don’t know if I’ll get over him this way.

Taehyung gets out of the shower around 10 minutes later and we both make eye contact for a while. I look at his hair and notice that it’s still wet. I sigh and stand up taking his towel from his hands. I put it on his hair and start drying it for him.

“At least dry your hair properly, you could get sick,” I say trying to avoid his gaze.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lash out like that.” Taehyung sighs. “I’m just stressed with work and I’m exhausted because we don’t sleep enough. Then I heard you talking to yourself and I just let it all out on you.” Taehyung looks at me guiltily.

I shake my head, “No, it’s my fault. I know you’re stressed and I’m not making it easier on you.” I bite my lip awkwardly.

“Jungkook.” I look up at Taehyung. “What’s going on?” He asks. “Please tell me what’s going on, I want to know how I can help fix it.”

“You can’t help me fix it Hyung. Come on, we’ve got to go to work.” I say and we leave the room.