Chapter 11 - I can't have him but I want him

Love or Passion (BTS Taekook)

“I think you two should stay away from the group for a week. Not as a holiday because your schedule is tight, but so that you two can sort out your issues.” The manager nods. “I’ll call a few people and have you two stay in an apartment together for a week. You three may leave now.” The manager says.

 

2 weeks had passed since Jimin and Jungkook had their private talk. The two boys pretend nothing had happened between them, and to everyone, it would seem as though nothing had happened. Although, the members feel that something seemed to have happened between Jungkook and Taehyung.

 

All the member’s, except Jimin and Taehyung, had asked Jungkook whether he was having a fight with Taehyung. Namjoon and Seokjin both counselled that if the boys were having a fight then they needed to resolve it quickly because it would affect everyone.

 

For the past week, Jungkook had been avoiding Taehyung at all costs. He would talk to Taehyung when it was work related but other than that he shut out Taehyung completely. At first, Taehyung hadn’t noticed but now he is starting to have his suspicions.

 

Taehyung had also had many members ask whether he was fighting with Jungkook or not. Of course, Taehyung would tell them that they weren’t fighting but now he wasn’t so sure. He can’t think of anything that he did to upset Jungkook but he can’t help but question is Jungkook was upset with him.

 

The 7 boys had just finished with practice when Namjoon called Jungkook and Taehyung over. He told the two boys to follow him and the did without questions. The three boys arrived at Manager PD’s office and it was obvious what it was about.

 

“Come in.” The manager says after Namjoon had knocked on the door.

 

The three boys walk in and all sit down. The manager sighs while looking at Taehyung and Jungkook who were sitting on opposite sides of the room to each other.

 

“What is going on with you two?” The manager asks.

 

“Nothing is going on,” Jungkook says.

 

“That’s not what I’ve heard from the other members and the staff. Did something happen between you two? You guys were so close 2 weeks ago, I have the vlive to prove it.” The manager says.

 

Jungkook stays quiet thinking about the conversation that happened 2 weeks prior. He feels his heart break at the conversation still. He thought it would be easy to get over Taehyung but keeping his distance is making him fall for his hyung even more.

 

Instead of talking to him and subtly flirting like he used to, he finds himself watching his hyung carefully. Jungkook has watched his hyung so much that he’s finding himself falling more in love. He tries to keep his eyes off Taehyung but they always find their way back.

 

“You both are quiet. What happened that day?” The manager asks.

 

“I don’t know…” Taehyung says honestly. “I don’t know what I did wrong to cause this rift between Jungkook and me,” Taehyung says with pain in his voice.

 

Jungkook looks at Taehyung and feels his heart ache. Taehyung, you did nothing wrong. Jungkook thinks to himself. It’s my fault for falling in love with you. Jungkook sighs.

 

“Then Jungkook, since Taehyung doesn’t know what happened, would you mind explaining it?” The manager asks.

 

Jungkook bites his lip and opens his mouth to say something but closes it again. Jungkook can’t think of something to say that isn’t the truth. Jungkook knows all the truth will do is make the situation more complicated.

 

“It seems like you have something you want to say.” The manager edges Jungkook on.

 

Jungkook bites his lip nervously, “I… um…” Jungkook starts. “I don’t know.” Jungkook lies.

 

“So how is it that neither of the boys knows what the issue is, yet there is obviously some sort of tension between the two?” The manager sighs. “Guys, if you keep avoiding it you’ll make me have to pause the schedule that your teammates are working so hard for until you two make up.” The manager threatens.

 

“No!” The two boys say in unison.

 

“We’ll make up,” Taehyung says. “Don’t take it out on the other members. They did nothing wrong.” Taehyung looks down guiltily.

 

The manager looks at Jungkook, “Will you two really make up?” He asks Jungkook.

 

“We will!” Jungkook says. “You could… Um… You could force us to stay together by ourselves for the next week to make sure everything is sorted!” Jungkook says on a whim.

 

The manager thinks about what Jungkook had said, “That’s not a bad idea.” The manager smiles. “I think you two should stay away from the group for a week. Not as a holiday because your schedule is tight, but so that you two can sort out your issues.” The manager nods. “I’ll call a few people and have you two stay in an apartment together for a week. You three may leave now.” The manager says.

 

Jungkook, Taehyung and Namjoon leave the room. Namjoon turns to the two boys who still weren’t looking at each other. Namjoon sighs at the two boys while they stop and look at their leader.

 

“Is there really nothing going on that you two want to talk to me about? Or even Seokjin, he’ll be more help for all your problems.” Namjoon says.

 

The two boys shake their head, “There’s nothing hyung.” The boys say in unison.

 

“Once this is all over would you be able to tell us what was wrong?” Namjoon asks.

 

“I would tell you now hyung but I honestly don’t know what’s going on.” Taehyung sighs turning to Jungkook. “What is going on? Did I do something wrong? I thought we were fine, especially when we pulled that prank on the other members. I thought we were getting closer. What happened? What did I do to make you upset?” Taehyung asks Jungkook.

 

Jungkook looks up at Namjoon and Taehyung who are looking at him with anticipation, “You did nothing wrong hyung. It’s my fault.” Jungkook says and walks past the two members.

 

Taehyung stands there more confused than ever, he can’t think of anything that Jungkook did wrong towards him. “Jungkook!” Taehyung calls running to catch up with Jungkook. “What did you do? You did nothing wrong. You haven’t done anything to offend any of us, especially not me.” Taehyung says.

 

“It’s nothing something that I’ve done.” Jungkook sighs. “Please hung, stop asking me about it. I don’t want to talk about it.” Jungkook says and walks faster away from Taehyung.

 

Taehyung stops in the middle of the hall and lets Jungkook walk off. He can’t figure out what was going through the maknae’s mind. Taehyung sighs and runs his hand through his hair, this was a stressful time for him.

 

“You okay?” Namjoon asks.

 

Taehyung looks at the leader and smiles a bright smile, “Of course! I don’t know what’s going on but I’ll make sure to fix it.” Taehyung says with enthusiasm.

 

When Namjoon smiles and walks off, all the fake positive energy leaves his body. He doesn’t know what to do. The way Jungkook is treating Taehyung makes Taehyung feel terrible, although he doesn’t want to show it to anyone.

 

“I just want you to love me,” Taehyung says out loud to himself. “Why is it so difficult for you to love me back? Why do you have to make things complicated like this?” Taehyung stomps his foot like a little kid.

 

“Is Taehyungie in love?” Taehyung looks up and is surprised to see Jimin.

 

Taehyung puts on his bright smile again and laughs, “No, I was just acting out what it would be like to be a guy in a drama where the girl didn’t love him back.” Taehyung nods. “How did I do?” Taehyung asks.

 

“I don’t think I saw enough to know if it was any good.” Jimin laughs.

 

Taehyung stands in an exaggerated pose and acts out something random that he thought of from a drama. His exaggerated acting makes Jimin laugh to the point where he’s almost in tears. Taehyung gives him a wide smile once he finishes acting.

 

“That was from Hwarang wasn’t it?” Jimin asks.

 

“How could you tell?” Taehyung laughs.

 

“That’s the only drama where you memorised so many lines.” Jimin smiles.

 

The two boys stay in a comfortable silence for a moment before Taehyung breaks it, “Why are you here Jimin?” Taehyung asks.

 

“Oh that’s right, I was supposed to bring you back to the practice room,” Jimin says.

 

“Okay, let’s go then!” Taehyung puts his arm around Jimin and walks to the practice room with him.

 

The two boys walk in and Jungkook finds himself staring at the two boys. He looks at Taehyung first to see if he was upset or stressed in any way but he can’t see any signs. He then realises that Taehyung’s arm is around Jimin. Jungkook looks at Jimin who’s staring at Taehyung the same way that Jungkook does.

 

Jungkook looks down at the ground and tries to avoid looking at the two boys but for some reason can’t keep his eyes off them. He watches Taehyung smiling down at Jimin and can’t help but feel the jealousy build up. Jimin and Jungkook make eye contact for a moment but Jungkook breaks it off and talks to Hoseok instead.

 

After what feels like a long time to Jungkook, but flies by for Taehyung, the boys have finished their work for the day. Jungkook and Taehyung wait in the practice room for someone to pick them up and take them to their temporary apartment.

 

“So…” Taehyung saying trying to cut the thick tension. “You’re still not going to tell me what this is about?” Taehyung asks.

 

Jungkook sighs, “Hyung, please stop asking. If you care about me, stop asking.”

 

“I care, that’s why I am asking. I want everything to be fixed between us. I want to go back to how we were 2 weeks ago,” Taehyung pouts.

 

Jungkook looks at his hyung and adverts his eyes immediately. He feels guilty for causing Taehyung this much pain, but he believes it’s worth it for him to suffer a little now instead of a lot later.

 

“I’m sorry…” Jungkook says. “I want to tell you what’s going, I really do.” Jungkook sighs.

 

“Then tell me,” Taehyung says softly. “We can sort it out together.” He gives Jungkook an encouraging smile.

 

Jungkook sighs in defeat. He looks up at his hyung and can see the desire Taehyung has to help him. Jungkook looks in his eyes for a moment more and can see the pain and confusion that he had caused Taehyung.

 

Jungkook looks down at the ground avoiding eye contact with Taehyung, “The thing is…” He starts.

 

“Sorry, I’m late!” A man puffs bursting into the room.

 

Taehyung and Jungkook jump at the sudden noise and look at the man. The man bows to them but Jungkook and Taehyung smile letting him know it’s okay that he was late. It doesn’t take long before the boys are in the car and arrive at their apartment.

 

Jungkook and Taehyung take the clothes that had been packed for them prior to their leaving and enter their new room. It’s a simple room and is set out the same way that their hotel in Hawaii was. Jungkook and Taehyung claim the bed they want and they lie down.

 

“Can you tell me what you were going to say before?” Taehyung asks.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Jungkook says a bit coldly because he’s so exhausted.

 

“Jungkook…” Taehyung sighs. “We’re never going to get this sorted if you keep shutting me out.”

 

“Maybe I don’t want this to be sorted!” Jungkook suddenly yells due to exhaustion and frustration. “No matter what I do this is going to end up bad for me!”

 

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung asks confused.

 

“If I tell you what’s going on all it’ll do is bring pain, if I don’t say anything it’ll bring pain! If you respond well to what I want to tell you it’ll be terrible, if you don’t respond well it’ll be just as bad!” Jungkook yells. “I don’t know what to do! I want to tell you what’s going on but if I do then all it’ll do is bring burden to you and me. That’s why I’m doing this, that’s why I’m keeping my distance. It’ll be less pain for you this way.” Jungkook finally let’s go of some of his stress.

 

“Jungkook…” Taehyung stands from his bed and sits on Jungkook’s. “I want to help you.” He says while playing with Jungkook’s hair.

 

Jungkook sighs, “No you don’t.” He says before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep. All he can think about is how much he wants Taehyung. But, the more Jungkook wants him, the more Jungkook knows that he can’t have him.

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Scorrox13 #1
Chapter 20: Wao an move.... Let's see what we have in store
AkKookie
#2
Chapter 20: I love jimin but what the jimin
Hope Tae b Kookie are alright.....
Love this<3
Scorrox13 #3
Chapter 19: It's great and take your time
taekook_sarang
#4
Chapter 19: Yoongi make a move already.
Jimin needs to fall for you.....
You need to make Jimin fall for you.
tardis1 #5
Chapter 19: HOLY YOU DIDN'T JUST LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THAT
YOOOOOOOOONNNNNNMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Aww is Yoongi's shirt okay?

(...oh yeah Jimin too)
rojin_d #6
Chapter 18: Don't leave us hanging here like this plssss
chasingskeleton #7
Chapter 18: OMFG YOU CAN'T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS ASKALALFHAHXJ IT'S SO GOOD
sooyoungjessicajjang #8
Chapter 18: ...........OMG... oMG...
Scorrox13 #9
Chapter 18: Hnmmmm
Scorrox13 #10
Chapter 18: Hnmmmm