“You should tell her that she smells pretty.” Seungri said. “She always smells like coffee and cigarettes for some reason.”

Jiyong gave him a look and flicked his ear, earning him a wince. “You think coffee and cigarettes smell ‘pretty’?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, tell her she smells like a drug addict. I doubt that it’ll get you anywhere, hyung.”

“Noona smokes?” Youngbae frowned.

“I don’t know but now that you mention it, she does smell like cigarettes sometimes.” Seunghyun chimed in.

“Maybe you should ask her out on a smoke break and you could share a cigarette or something.” Daesung chimed in.

They were still at that Christmas party and the crowd was still rampant and festive as ever. Jiyong wouldn’t leave Dara alone earlier and s made a decision to pull out since he was starting to look like a needy toddler that was trying to get his mother’s attention. Now there they were in the men’s bathroom, huddled together, and giving their desperate-looking leader some pointers. 

Jiyong said that he already had everything under control. He even went off to saying that he was good at this. They could just snort. The man was practically smothering Dara just a while ago. Yeah, he was good.

Dara on the other hand, was still hyperventilating in one of the ladies’ cubicle with Bom, Teddy, and Chaerin waiting for her. They told Teddy to go off since he was in the women’s rest room but he told them that he owned the store so he was obligated to do whatever he wanted. And right now, he wanted to be one of the girls so that he could get in on all this drama.

“What’s happening there, sweetie?” Bom knocked on her door. All they could hear was gurgling and rustling from the other side. They hoped that was experiencing an exorcism instead of spazzing out like she always does.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIM CALL ME THAT STUPID NAME???”

“Oh you love it.” Bom sounded irked. “We all know that you love it.”

Teddy looked at them confusedly. “What did she make him say?” he asked.

“Dara baby—”

“GGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

“Dara baby?”

“NNNNoooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Teddy let out a mischievous smirk and repeated her name. The girl howled and cried murder inside the bathroom stall. The older man just guffawed and recorded her wailing.

“I don’t know why you’re thinking so much about this, Jiyong. Just say ‘hi’ or something.”

With his serious face, Jiyong gave his hyung a hard punch on the chest as if the man had just kicked a toddler and Seunghyun groaned and nursed his abused body. Daesung pushed his Jiyong hyung in a means of protecting his favorite hyung and it made Seungri push Daesung to protect his own hyung. Youngbae sighed and shook his head. He jumped when he saw Chaerin beside him and quietly judging everyone.

“What the heck are you doing here???????”

Chaerin looked at them innocently and shrugged. “Unnie is getting annoying and I heard you guys talking from the other side.” She said nonchalantly. “Besides, it’s not like anyone is using the bathroom at the moment.” Just then another person walked in but stopped when he saw Chaerin. They all looked back at the confused guy with their own confused faces. The girl just shooed him off and told him to go to the ladies room. “Don’t worry, Teddy oppa is there. He’ll allow you to use it.”

“Why is Teddy hyung in the girl’s washroom…?”

“He’s messing with Dara.”

Jiyong’s ears perked up at the name of the girl. Chaerin scowled at him and gave him a hard forehead flick. He winced and glared at her.

“Quick! Chaerin knows noona! Ask her what you should text.” Seungri patted his hyung’s shoulder hurriedly as excitement started to bubble up in the boy.

Despite hearing what the panda had just said, she humored his sunbae by acting like she didn’t even hear Seungri breathe. Jiyong cleared his throat beside her and gave her a reluctant tap in the shoulder. Arms crossed and eyes fluttering, she turned to him with a tilt of the head. They could hear a loud girl’s sobbing on the other room but no one has acknowledged it yet. Chaerin could just breathe a sigh of relief at that.

“I… uh… You know Dara.” He said dumbly and the girl couldn’t help but cringe inwardly. “What do you think I should say?”

Her lips curled up into an evil smirk while she tapped her chin in thought. “Tell her that you love her.” She whispered only to be answered by loud, manly gasps.

“Are you insane?!” Jiyong shrieked.

“What? Don’t you want to date her?”

“NO! I just wanna be friends!” he replied incredulously. He didn't notice how Chaerin's smile faltered, feeling bad for her unnie.

Her face slowly turned into a snarl and then she left them abruptly. The boys blinked in confusion. What just happened? They remained still for a couple of minutes up until Jiyong’s phone binged and like vultures, they circled the phone. It was a text from Chaerin.

Invite her out to coffee. She takes it black. Order a strawberry cheesecake too.

They were called the Sandara (may change depending on the woman of interest) Investigation Squad™. Tasked to do Intel and reconnaissance, they were ready to examine this GIRL for their leader. They don’t normally do this but since they don’t have any schedule right now—or at least because their manager wasn’t saying anything to them—they were free enough to form this temporary espionage team.

First was Choi Seunghyun. Born in Seoul, South Korea. Member of BIGBANG, Singer-song writer, actor, rapper, model, art enthusiast, living art work. The modern statue of David.

PROS:

-actually really strong

-master at the art of dad dancing despite not being a father

-good at staring people down

-“looks hot in tight pants” –Bom

-excels at making unintelligible sounds but only second to Kwon Jiyong

CONS:

-easily confused

-beauty is offending

-makes bad jokes

-possibility of breaking a hip or his back just by standing

-really a tall baby

“Hi Dara.”

Dara stilled and looked up at the all too smiley Seunghyun. She distractedly turned the faucet off and looked around the room to see a few interns squealing at his presence. She glanced back at him warily and took out a few paper towels.

“Why are you in the women’s restroom, Seunghyun?” she asked, slightly amused.

The tall man shrugged and sat on the counter but his height was allowing his feet to lay flat on the ground. He his kitten lips absently as he scanned the girl’s washroom with his arms crossed. He released a low and pleased-sounding hum when he finished his ‘reconnaissance’. He saw Dara with her hands on her hips in front of him with a raise of the brow.

“Seriously dude, why are you here? You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I wanna talk.” He said with a slight pout.

Dara nodded and sighed. “Arasso, c’mon let’s talk somewhere else.” She then started pulling his sleeve but he wouldn’t budge. She let out a grunt and started pulling his arm now but he still didn’t move. Seunghyun laughed inwardly. Poor small girl didn’t know that the tall man was stronger than he looked. Dara was now on the ground as she pulled on his arm desperately but Seunghyun still remained on the same relaxed position.

“Seunghyun, there are people that want to use the washroom!” Dara whined, getting exhausted. “Let’s go!”

“But it smells so nice in here. I like it here. Let’s talk here, Dara.” He said instead.

Dara just growled and pulled on him again but then he suddenly pulled her. It didn’t take him too much energy since she was so tiny. The girl landed on his chest with a thud and Seunghyun, being easily distracted, started fixing her unruly hair. Feeling miffed, Dara gave him a hard punch on the chest but he didn’t even react. Instead, she was the one that reacted. She hissed in pain when her knuckles met with the metal behind his shirt that he calls his chest. She stayed standing in between his slightly bent legs while Seunghyun continued to pick on her hair like a monkey looking for ticks.

She slapped him (with adoration) on the face and that was when he finally got back to planet Earth. He blinked to get himself back and then flinched a bit when she saw Dara in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” he said with furrowed brows.

She rolled her eyes and sighed again. “You said you wanted to talk or something? Well?”

Seunghyun’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and he clapped his hands in realization. He then grinned at her and said “I remember you~” in a sing-song voice.

“W-what?” she widened her eyes, her hands unconsciously gripping on his shoulders. “Where??? When??????”

“I can’t believe I still remember it after all this years.” He chuckled to himself.

“HOLY SEUNGHYUN, TALK TO ME.”

He giggled and patted her head to calm her crazy eyes down. “Both you and Jiyong were freshmen.” She stilled at the mention of their high school years. Nothing good ever comes out when people mention her high school years. Goddammit, she forgot to wear a diaper. “I think I was a junior back then?”

“What. Do. You. Know?”

He hummed in thought. “You’re still a tiny little thing like you are right now.” Dara glared at him. “But sorry, all of my attention has been on that truly lovely friend of yours.”

Her eyes flickered in annoyance. “Yeah, lovely—” Before she knew it, she was suddenly pulled to the ground by a pair of claws and she shot her head up, filled with revenge and anger.

“WHAT THE ?????”

“I SWEAR I’M GONNA SLIT YOUR THROAT, YOU FREAKING !”

“Bommie-yah~”

“SHUT UP SEUNGHYUN!” the two girls chorused.

“What the hell is your problem, you hormonal ? Are you ing pregnant in there??” Dara screeched.

“YOU’RE PREGNANT????!!!!!!”

“What’s my problem???? I come here needing to take a piss when I see you practically grinding on my man! What the hell is my problem????? What the hell’s yours????!!!!”

That was when Dara knew how her best friend could be possessive and how rumors spread as fast as a wildfire. YG gave them a stern talking to after that. Seunghyun failed his task which he still didn’t know what was about and just ended up sulking because he wasn’t going to be a father.

Second was Kang Daesung. Born in Oryu-dong, South Korea. Member of BIGBANG, singer, actor, MC, model, icon, closet blogger, occasional hermit. Gift from the heavens.

PROS:

-occasional shrieking

-the "Yabai" side to the Kang

-