What the hell?

“Why are you calling me?”

He sighed on the other line and then chuckled. “Is Dara there?”

“My girlfriend, Dara?” I saw the two women in the car take a curious glance at me before giggling and whispering to themselves. I just rolled my eyes.

“My best friend, Dara.” He shot back cockily making me scowl. “Is she there?”

“No,” I lied.

“DDDDAAAAAARRRAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

Dara’s ears immediately perked up at Dean’s screeching voice and before I could even hang up, she was already reaching for my phone. Alright, I admit I’m weak to that whining sound she makes. She was able to snatch it out of my hands before leaning on me and putting the call on speaker. I snarled at my sister when I saw her snickering in the driver’s seat.

“Comma boy! Why do you have Jiyong’s number?” Dara laughed, looking up at me with a playful gleam in her eyes. I frowned at her but still found myself kissing the top of her head. Goddammit Jiyong, you’re supposed to be sulking, not giving in!

“Did you see what I did for you, old lady?”

That’s when she burst out in another round of laughter. My frown deepened while noona’s grin just widened. Christ, I hate her too. “YES!” Dara wheezed. “That was so cute!!!! I love you, Hyukkie~”

“Did you hear that, Yongie? She loves him.” Noona teased.

I swear, if she wasn’t driving I would’ve already punched her stupid face. What? Why are you looking at me like that? I am a heavy promoter of equality between the es! If a man could withstand a punch, then so can a woman! Of course, that’s only for special cases like that she-devil behind the wheels. Hell, she’s practically a man so she’s definitely worthy of a good punch.

Yeah, make sure you tell your girlfriend that you like punching women. I’m sure she’ll get a thrill out of that.

I said special cases, you sarcastic .

“I can’t believe you made Seunggi take off his shirt!!!” she squealed.

“When can’t he take off his shirt?” he replied.

What were they talking about, you might ask? Well apparently, Mr. I’m-somehow-friends-with-A-list-celebrity-hunks here got some of his unnecessarily chiseled friends to take of their shirts off and have a spontaneous basketball game near the entrance of our place when Dara and I were trying to sneak past the paparazzi a few days ago. Wow that was a mouthful. I’ll tip my hat off to him though because it successfully diverted the attention away from us. Its randomness definitely did the trick and the paparazzi quickly scrambled to take pictures of these overrated shirtless men.

Please, let’s see you ‘try’ looking as hot as me when you have a shirt on. Yeah, we BIGBANG men have mastered the art of looking y as hell even if we’re covered from head to toe. I practically made being hot with a shirt on a thing. The trick is you only show a bit of skin, preferably on the chest or on the collar bones. You don’t show the whole thing, you idiots. That’ll make you look easy. Jesus, I’m working with amateurs here.

I listened on to their animated conversation with keen ears. Dara keeps calling him weird pet names and the thought made me realize that she never really called me anything besides my name. She even calls noona with a cute nickname! Okay, I admit ‘cheesecake’ is a pretty cute name—random but still cute.

I know she calls me cookies and cream. I still don’t know why but I only hear it when she’s speaking with noona. It’s like the two of them are talking in codes or something! They don’t even call each other—or anyone for that matter—by their names. I’m pretty sure I heard like 4 more food names from their conversation earlier.

“Why do you have Jiyong’s number?” My head immediately snapped at her. I tried to take my phone back when she suddenly put it inside her shirt. I would’ve easily taken it if she put it in her stomach but uhmm… she put it on the other opening. My cheeks flushed and I looked away, grumbling under my breath.

Dean laughed again and if noona wasn’t driving like a police car is chasing her, I would’ve jumped out of this moving deathtrap. The guy on the phone laughed while I put my hood on and pulled on the drawstrings until my face was fully covered. “Kwon Jiyong wants to learn more about you.” He said.

“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~” came in noona’s annoying voice.

“Why don’t you just ask me?” Dara chuckled, hooking her arm on mine despite my efforts to move away from her. “I swear you’re developing feelings for my Hyukkie.”

Excuse me? Your Hyukkie?????

I scoffed at her beneath my hood while Dean laughed again. “Be careful with your words, Dara. Jiyong-ssi might get jealous of me again if you call me yours.” He teased.

that guy.

“AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YONGIE’S JEALOUSSSSSSSSS~~~~~”

I hate everyone.

I don’t know why my heart is beating so fast right now while Hyuk continued to spill about him and Jiyong’s conversations. I feel so warm inside. I feel so happy all of the sudden.

“He asked me if you have any allergies and when I told him that you fart when you eat too much dairy, he started panicking because he apparently took you to an ice cream shop just a couple of days ago and started questioning your health and if he endangered you in any way.” Hyuk explained.

Cheesecake unnie guffawed. “Oh my god Yongie, you’re killing me here.”

He’s killing me too. He’s killing me with his cuteness and he’s sending me straight to heaven where everyone is fruit-scented like him. Jesus Christ… yeah, I’ll probably see him there too. I can’t help but stare at this gentle beast that was cursing loudly at his sister and my little bean on the phone. I never knew my husband could be so darn precious! Holy , this means our kids are gonna be a million times more precious!!! KYYYYAAAAAAAAA KWON BABIES!

“ OFF! I DIDN’T WANT HER TO GET SICK, ALRIGHT? I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF SICK PEOPLE!” Jiyong shouted defensively, unconsciously locking our hands when I reached out to touch his fingers.

So that’s why he made me stop baking muffins. There was only about 2 or 3 ingredients that were dairy-based in my recipes. I guess that when he found out, he wanted me nowhere near anything that came from a cow’s udder. Okay, that was a weird way to put it but you get the gist. My baby boy was concerned about me~~~~ Oh my goodness gracious bless the Lord above, I’m thankful to have lived long enough to see this cute baby Jiyongggg!

I only have mild lactose intolerance though. I’m usually good with milk and all that other stuff but I fart (as Hyuk stated eloquently) or my stomach starts to hate me when I eat too much of it. I mean, I don’t mind letting out a few toots or possibly having some sort of organ failure if it meant that Jiyong would be happy.

Dude, that’s not…

Okay, I’m not gonna make myself have organ failure because of him. Happy? You know who else was happy? Jiyong when he fed me ice cream that day. His gums were showing when he smiled cheekily at me and he would wipe my lower lip with his masculine thumb—

How can a thumb be masculine?

And then he looked at with his come hither eyes that said ‘yeah baby, I’m ready for you’. Then I gasped when he suddenly pulled down the sleeve of my shirt, revealing my bare shoulder. Slowly, I looked at him, my lips parting as his finger traced my lower lip again. ‘Open up’ he said as he inched his lips closer to mine, a spoonful of ice cream melting inside his tongue. His lips tugged up to a smirk before he—

“Shut up stupid Dean!” Jiyong said, flustered.

I quickly shook my head and darted my attention to the two siblings. The phone has been taken out of my hand and a second later, Jiyong ended the call. He removed his hood with a huff and raked his hair, irritated. Goddamn… I found myself staring at him with my mouth slightly parted as he continued to do his angsty model posing beside me. Cheesecake unnie and him were having a conversation but it sounded muddled in my ears because I was too caught up staring at this beautiful creature. Yeah baby, twitch that brow one more time because it is h.o.t. HOT!

We suddenly locked eyes and my face instantly blushed at his hot gaze. Christ, is it hot in here or is it just him? He moved closer, his brows furrowed in scrutiny. I gulped and unintentionally glanced at his glistening lips—they were glistening, guys—before looking back at his eyes. I slightly cowered when his manly hand grazed my cheek while his eyes looked down to me… ily.

“Are you having a cold again?” he whispered huskily, making me tingle in all the right places. “Why are you so hot?”

“You’re so hot.” I mumbled in a daze. Jiyong raised his brows while unnie made a disgusted noise.

“That’s gross, strawberry jam.” She said.

When his lips twitched to a smile, I finally realized what I just said and went completely red for the second time. He asked me again if I was sick and I said no with a cracked voice that made me sound like a teenage boy undergoing puberty. I even choked on my own spit. Man, I’m on a roll today. Jiyong frowned and started rubbing circles on my back as I coughed like a cat hacking a hairball. Again, not the prettiest thing to imagine.

“Are you alright, babe?” he cooed.

Have I ever told you how he makes me feel when he calls me ‘babe’? Will a sing and dance number suffice? My freaking loins shout a glorious hurrah whenever I hear him call me by that nickname. I know he probably used that on all of his girlfriends BUT I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND NOW SO THE REST OF THOSE HOES CAN BACK THE UP, REVERSE, AND MOVE TO THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION BECAUSE THIS BABY IS DRIVING FULL-THROTTLE TOWARDS THE FOUNTAIN OF LOVE THAT HAS JIYONG AS A STATUE.

Was the caps-lock really necessary?

It shows emphasis—emphasis that I am his baby, not his child because that would be weird and momma doesn’t do no , I am his baby.

Yes.

“Yah, where are we going?” Jiyong called out to his sister. “We just missed the turn for our house.”

“We’re not going home little boy. There are reporters there.” At that, I saw Jiyong clench his jaw and pull me closer. “We’re taking a little detour to Dolce Vita.”

“What?! That’s like 2 hours away from Insadong—”

“God, you even shriek in front of your girlfriend.” Unnie grimaced.

“I-I do not shriek!” he shrieked.

I patted his head and he shot me a look. Like I said, precious!

“Don’t get your in a twist. We’ve been traveling for an hour already. We’re practically there, princess.”

“Don’t call me princess!!”

Right, because he’s a prince… on a white horse… shirtless with a rose on his mouth.

Unnie sighed and looked at me through the rear-view mirror. “I really hope you still like him after this, strawberry jam.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Don’t worry, cheesecake. I’ll love him until the day I die.” I shot him some hearts and winked. He looked at me as if I was crazy before he burst out in chuckles and hugged me by the shoulder.

“Still gross, strawberry jam. Still gross.”

I just laughed and I caught Jiyong staring at me before breaking out into a soft smile. Oh man, even his innocent smile is right now.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Hey, it’s Sandara!”

Their mother opened her arms out for the girl and the latter skipped towards her to give the older lady a big hug. Their father grinned beside his wife while he patted the girl’s head adoringly. Meanwhile, Jiyong stood there with a completely confused look on his face. Did everyone know Dara before he did?

“What’s with that constipated look on your face, Yongie?” Dami cooed, poking his cheek. Jiyong slapped her hand off and glared at her menacingly. “Jesus, are you on your freaking period?”

“How do you guys know her?” he whispered angrily. Dami shot him a mischievous look as she raised her brow and crossed her arm.

“Why? Jealous?”

“No! It’s weird!” he answered, sounding frantic. “She’s supposed to feel scared of meeting omma and appa. I swear I almost pissed myself when I met her parents. Why... how—”

“How are you, darling? I haven’t seen you in ages!” his mom frowned at Dara. “You stopped visiting and I thought I would never see you again.”

Jiyong pointed an accusing finger at the scene in front of him while Dami just raised a brow. “Look at that! They already have an emotional attachment to her! When did this happen? Oh, and why does she keep calling you cheesecake????”

“Look at that.” Someone drawled. We all looked up to see a bearded man in pajamas eating a celery stick on the 2nd floor. “It’s G-Dragon and Sandara Park. Are you here to elope?”

Almost immediately, anger bubbled in his system. He was about to go up there and remove him from the building when his parents suddenly chuckled. Jiyong looked at his parents with a mix of irritation and curiosity as they looked up at the yawning man.

“Don’t worry Jiyong, he always jokes around.” Mr. Kwon said, noticing his son’s annoyance.

“I am the Joker after all.” He smiled and shrugged. “Sorry, it's my job.”

Jiyong felt a nudge in his arm and he turned to his sister with furrowed brows. “He’s the one who paid for a 20 year accommodation in the VIP room.” She explained. “His name is Lee Dongwook.”

“Like the actor?” Dara squealed.

“Unfortunately.” Dongwook chuckled.

Dara laughed lightly at him while Jiyong narrowed his eyes at the man. The clearly unkempt gentleman wouldn’t stop looking at his girlfriend while the latter just looked back at him, thus commencing a staring contest. Jiyong huffed and started walking up to her.

I don’t like him. 

He’s too handsome.

Dara attracts a lot of handsome men.

Me for instance.

And 20 years? Why couldn’t he just buy a house and live there? He could probably afford a house if he can afford the VIP room for 20 years.

Sluggishly, he walked down the stairs, his hand scratching his stomach, basically forcing us to look at his abs. I pushed noona’s shoulder when I heard her purr beside me. Thankfully, Dara looked unfazed and she directed her attention to my parents. Dongwook started walking towards me and before I knew it, he hooked his arm on my shoulder. I gave him an awkward smile before nodding to greet him. He smiled lazily and patted the side of my face.

“You remind me of someone.” He yawned again.

Okay?

“Would you like something to eat, Dongwook?” omma asked.

He removed his arm from me and waved his hand. “It’s alright, omma. I can manage.”

Omma???

“Do you need help?” Dara chimed in, entering the kitchen with him.

And that was when the fire alarms in my head started to go off.

Leaving Dara with a handsome man can mean two things.

“Can’t you believe he’s in his late 40’s already?” Dami sighed dreamily. “What a fine piece of man…”

“He’s coming.” Dongwook oppa whispered.

I looked at him confusedly before we heard someone clear their throat behind us. Like the CF model that I was, I turned slowly—with my hair getting blown by the wind and all—to see my Jiyong leaning on the wall with a cool expression on. Oh how I live for that look. His eyes are almost half-lidded and his head was slightly tilted.

Do you know what look this was called?

The bedroom look.

“Dara.” He said. I swear I almost moaned. He then held out his hand and motioned me to come closer. “Let’s go?”

To bed? Yes please.

Eagerly, I ran to him and almost toppled him down when I caught him in an embrace. He chuckled, patting my back, while I heard Dongwook oppa laugh with him. I turned to give him an apologetic wave and the oppa just winked. Before I knew it, Jiyong sud