The Cunfused Girl POV

Teenagers. They always follow what their heart wants. They don't want to know about anything, and they just want to try everything. Selfish and egoist. Yes it's all about their ego. They don't really think before they decide something.

And I was a merely teenager. I might look mature and controlable when I was in public, as Krystal Jung. But as Jung Soojung or Jung Chrystal Soo, I was only a high school student. I secretely was a curious teenager, a passionate one. I wanted to try many things, and I sometimes enjoyed my role just as a high school student, not an idol. I wanted to have fun just like the other teenagers, I wanted to be happy and cool.

After we launched our mini album, f(x) was getting busier. I didn't expect that it would be a bomb. People kept complimenting our songs and the dance moves. They said we were different from other groups. I was so proud of us, and f(x) got its own taste.

F(x)'s busy schedules made us spending time together even more often. It was like there was no day without you. We were getting closer and closer, no, I couldn't say we were as close as the bestest best friend. You might be very chummy to your friends, you hugged them, you kissed them, whatever, but would you caress your friend's hair to make her fall asleep? You did that to me, Am. Would you caress your friend's cheek and arms when she shivers? You did that too. If I was just a best friend or a little sister for you, then it wasn't fair, because you said Luna and Sulli were your beloved little ones too, but you didn't treat them the way you treated me.

I was such a hypnotized person. I lost my mind. I couldn't think properly. My logic didn't even work, I guessed. I enjoyed it too much. I enjoyed your existence by my side. I didn't want you to stop treating me like a............ girlfriend? Even I clearly remembered that I had a boyfriend, but I didn't want to remind you. 

Okay I was selfish, self centered, egoist, whatever. Yes I didn't break my relationship with my boyfriend, and I didn't want you to stop being lovey dovey with me. I was such a jrk. But I didn't care, Am. I wanted you, I really did. But it was impossible to break up with my boyfriend, because if I did, could I even be with you? I was still not sure. Really. I was too young to figure out what was really happening between us.

I remembered when you were being jealous again because I needed to do kiss scene in a drama, you were not even my lover. And I had no idea why did I ask your permission to do the kiss scene? Again, I was not even your lover. And I didn't even ask my boy friend's opinion because he was okay with everything.

"Do you really need to do that?", you said when I asked your permission about the kiss scene.

"Well...... I got paid for that"

You lifted your left brow, "I know that. uuhhh...... is he your type? I mean..."

"Amber come on...", I chuckled, "he's like a sweet guy, friendly. He's like a very good friend, really"

"I still don't get it, so is he your type or not?"

I sighed, "no"

You grinned stupidly, "then I won't mind"

I just rolled my eyes, "you know my type, I thought I've told you"

"Well... because it's really confusing. You said you like bad boys, masculine, geeky, has a strong characteristic and taste. But let me be honest, I think M is too cute for your type and you chose him as your boy friend"

M was my boy friend's name. And you were right. I actually didn't think a lot as I said yes to him when he confessed to me at our school. He was just very good looking and nice. He was also very popular in our school, well he's an idol too. And I just wanted to try him, maybe. 

"Well... I don't know but yeah actually he's not close to my type. But he's nice, he's not annoying, he lets me do anything I want. I feel free, that's it"

"Do you love him?"

"Amber, I'm too young to talk about love. I'm just enjoying our relationship"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup"

You came closer to me, looked at me in the eyes. People only knew you as a dorky stupid. They had no idea how evil you are as a cassanova.

"How can you enjoy your relationship with him? You even spend more time with me", you whispered. Your eyes said it all, you were teasing me.

I smirked. You were a jrk, and so was I.

"Do you mind if I enjoy my relationship with you too?"

You stared at me while smiled. There was something in your smile, "I don't mind", you whispered to my lips, switched your glance between my eyes and my lips, "do you mind?"

I bit my lips and shrugged, "I don't mind", I whispered.

There were just the two of us in your room. And we had been really intimate since few months ago. I felt it, the strange feeling everytime we were together, I didn't know if you felt the same, but I thought you did. Without stating anything, we treated each other just like lovers. It was just we weren't brave enough to say anything about our feeling, because we were not sure. But I knew we were absolutely sure about what we wanted as you tilted your head a bit while leaned closer to me. I closed my eyes as you lifted my chin. All I felt afterwards was the warmth and the gentle touch that I had never felt before. Your lips on mine. It felt so gentle and warm, it felt perfect that I couldn't even describe it. We did it, we finally did it. It wasn't my first kiss, but I felt like it was. I've never kissed someone with my heart trembling and those butterflies in my tummy. 

I couldn't help but looked down as we broke the kiss. I didn't want you to see my reddish face.

"W...well...did...did we just practice for the drama?"

I was speechless as you said that. I thought it was the craziest thing happened between us and so meaningful. But did you say we just practiced?

"Just kidding. Uhh... it was... more than that... hiii", you grinned, I hate seeing you grinning because it melted me.

I looked up and glared at you, "stupid"

"......Princess your face looks red"

"Shut up"

"... but why"

"Shut up Amber you're such a clueless person"

"...can we try it again?"

"Oh my gosh AMBER stop being embarrassing!"

The moment brought our relationship to the next level. We were definitely not best friends anymore because best friends don't kiss, and since that day kiss wasn't a new thing for us. We casually kissed when there were just the two of us. And we acted so love dovey when were with our closest ones. You started to introduce me to some of your friends, well even I still wasn't really close with them but I thought we got along well. 

I really enjoyed our relationship, just like I said, I just followed my ego and everything went good so I let it stayed like that. We never mentioned that we were lovers. We still bickered a lot and never stopped bugging, but we acted like lovers whenever we wanted to. It was so simple yet innocent. Until we went to LA for a Korean compilation concert.

We couldn't help it.

We had planned to have our own holiday in LA. We asked our managers about that and they agreed.

I really couldn't control my self that time. It was really hard for me to not to show my feeling for you. I kept glancing at you during the practice even when we were on stage. I couldn't distance my self away from you. How embarrassing Krystal Jung, I couldn't even believe in my self.

The other idols finally headed back to Korea. But we stayed, just like what we had planned. We visited your house first and stayed there for a night. Your Mom was really amazing. Her mixed Chinese-English was so cute. I love seeing her smile and it made e happy seeing her ranting at you sometimes. Your sister was as cool as the first time I met her. And your Dad, I thought you got the charm and taste of humor from him.

You told me you would bring me to some favorite places of yours, so we did. They were not public places. They were just your school when you were younger, and a play park. You said you often went there when you were younger. You told me many memories about the place. Some of them were good memories, and some of them were not. I hugged your waist tightly when you told me about your bad memories. Life was not so friendly back then, you said. And you wished you would live a better life ahead, it made me wanted to create good memories for you. I didn't like to see your sad expression, it somehow made me feel sad too.

We bought your favorite food before we headed to the next destination; well, a hotel. Okay, I didn't have any dirty plan I swore, really. The hotel was just near from the airport and we needed to go back to Korea on the next day. But...... yes I... I didn't know why did we decide to hire a room, only.

We ate the food we bought earlier while had chitchat, well, flirted to each other, sometimes, how cheesy but it was fun. The TV was on but we didn't really pay attention to it. After we finished the food you decided to bath first while I just laid my body down. Still, I didn't have any dirty plan, trust me. But it was different as I saw you appeared from the bathroom door. You were just in your tank top, your hair was wet. Seeing you like that made my face felt hot. I immediately grabbed my pajama and ran to the bathroom. You even looked at me with confused look.

There was just a bed in the room. Well the bed was huge though. And yes we did sleep on the same bed few times so I thought it would be okay. I casually threw my body on the bed, you were beside me with your eyes closed. I blew a sigh in relieve. I knew that we often acted like lovers, we even did kiss, but we wouldn't be out of our mind to do the 'further' thing. I thought.

"You smell good"

My heart stopped beating for a moment as I heard your voice.

"I thought you were asleep?"

"Nah", you placed your arm around my waist, and slowly pulled me closer to you. We stared at each other while tried to read what was on our mind. And you finally made a move to lean closer to me. We kissed, gently. You stared at me again as you broke the kiss. It was like you wanted to tell me something, but you didn't. I was such a stupid because I waited for those words from your lips even if I knew that wouldn't even happen. You pulled me closer and you pressed your lips on mine again. This time our kiss were not a gently kiss anymore. You played with my lips a lot and it guided us to the passionate french kiss.

And what I thought about 'not to do anything more than kissing' was wrong. Because......... we couldn't help it. We were just two young persons who enjoyed romantic relationship. We were controled by the feeling. And what would you expect?

"...Am... not there"

"It's okay it's just a kiss"

"Y...You're gonna leave a mark"

"No, Princess"

"...no marks promise?"

"...sure"

We enjoyed our free-lovey dovey-relationship too much. But it made me think, how long could we stay like this? In such condition, could we stay like this or couldn't we?

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I thought Amber promised?

PS: just a fanfic guys pardon me LOL

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Next Chapter: Flashback: We Thought We Would be Okay but...