The Confused Girl POV

 

I wasn’t deaf was I? I was sure I wasn’t deaf. I heard it clearly…… did you just say those ‘forbidden’ words to me? Amber you were crazy. I needed few minutes to stay silent, because I had no idea how to react.

“I’m not your lover but I love you. If you know someone you love will sleep with another person, you won’t let it happen will you?”

“………………………………”, I was speechless, “stupid”, I mumbled faintly.

“Huh?”

“Why are you so stupid, Amber?! Why didn’t you just ask me if I will sleepover with T or not?! Why didn’t you just ask me directly?!”

“…… w…what do you mean?”

“Do you think I’ll do that?!”

“…w…what?”

“Sleep with a boyfriend during our tight come back promotion schedule? Will I do that?!”

“B…but… he… asked you to…”

“DO I look like a type of girl that will pleasantly do anything nonsense for my lover?! Do I look that btchy?!”

“……no, Krys……”

“Fortunately I always do my best to balance my heart and my brain, Amber. Why do you think we’re still friends till now? Because I force my brain to work, although it’s not easy”

“…Krys… I’m… I’m…”

“If that was a confession, then it’s the worst way of confession I’ve ever received”

I got out of the car then banged the door. Was it your way to confess? With your stupidity? I was so mad. I was so pissed. If only you knew, if only you knew what I was going to do. If only you knew that I went to T’s apartment because of something important. Stupid Amber, you’re forever stupid.

“Soojunga”, T appeared behind his apartment door after I belled and waited for few minutes. He let me in before hugged me gently, “I miss you”, he said. He let go of me then kissed my forehead.

I smiled at him, “I can’t be long here”

T snorted, he didn’t like the statement.

“I need to talk to you. This… this is very important”

T stared at me suspiciously, “fine. We talk in dining room. I’ve prepared delicious wine for us”, T grabbed my wrist to guide me to the dining room. Two crystal glasses and a fresh red wine were prepared beautifully. T pulled a chair for me before took a seat himself. He didn’t forget to pour the wine into the glasses.

“Thanks”, I said to him.

“Now, you may start”, he tried to smile while gulped his wine a little. I thought he knew what I was going to say.

“I’ll just make it straight. I know that I’m not a good girl friend, even though I’ve tried so hard”

T chuckled, but he didn’t say a thing.

“You were right. Our relationship feels tasteless, because it’s only you who cares a lot about me. I didn’t mean to make it like this, I really wanted to give it a try seriously when I accepted you confession”, I took deep breath, “but even up until now, I can’t”

T looked down, I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

“I let you stay, and I thought I would make it better. But how can I make it better if these days I only pay my attention to my career. You know bad things just hit my group, we need to work really hard, SH oppa. I want to be focus on my career now”

“Does it mean a ‘break up’?”, T finally let his voice out.

I nodded faintly, “I’m so sorry”

“What’s so wrong for being honest, Soojunga?”, T poured the wine into his empty glass then gulped it again, “I’m happy you’re honest to me”

I mentally said sorry again to him, because I wasn’t really honest, I actually let him stay to make me not going insane about my feeling for you.

“If we’re really meant for each other, we’ll meet again right?”, he added.

I nodded.

I spent around an hour at T’s apartment. He told me the reasons why he liked me a lot, he talked about his broke-up experience and stuffs. He said he still loved me but he could understand my situation and he let me go. Unlike M, T said he had no idea if we could still be friends or not, because he never saw me as a friend. I honestly didn’t mind if he didn’t want me to be his friend. I just wished the best for him.

Right before I left T’s apartment I got a phone call, it was you, of course. I rolled my eyes as I saw your name on my screen phone.

“Who?”, T asked.

“My driver”, I shortly answered. I rejected the call though.

“Oh? Is he waiting outside? Or parking lot?”

“Outside”

“For around an hour?”

I just nodded.

“It’s a little bit raining outside, and it’s only 8 degree. It must be cold outside”

“Really??!”, I shouldn’t have been panic. I was still mad, “it’s okay. ‘He’ deserves it”

“Uh?”, I didn’t realize what I said and it made T confused.

“N…no… uhh… I need to go now. Thanks for everything, SH oppa”

“You too, Soojunga. Can I hug you for the last time?”

I nodded. I hugged him tightly before let go of him, “good bye”

“Bye, Soojung. Take care”

 

You texted me half hour ago and told me that you’d wait for me so I certainly walked toward a certain direction. My car was still there. The position didn’t change even a bit. But the windows were opened, I could see the ‘driver’ was sleeping with the mouth opened. Typical Amber.

I slapped the door repeatedly so that you opened your eyes surprisingly.

“Krystal?”, you rubbed your eyes.

“Hurry up, move. I’ll drive”, I said coldly.

You got of the car then approached me, “I’ll call taxi then”

I snorted, “if you end up calling taxi then why did wait? Don’t be stupid, get on the car hurry”

I got on the car and took driver seat. You finally followed me to get back on the car.

“Belt”, I warned you.

You put it on while glanced at me a little, “where are we going?”, you asked as I started driving.

“I’ll drive you home”

You know what? Don’t you ever underestimate me, I could be very dominant sometimes.

“Krys”

I didn’t answer.

“Do you have tissue?”

I stayed silent.

“I need to blow my nose”

Okay, this time you caught my attention, “what for”, I said shortly.

“My nose is running”

You couldn’t do this to me. I was mad at you because you pissed me off so much. You couldn’t make me worried about you, you couldn’t melt my heart, not at this kind of moment.

“Back seat”, I answered.

I glanced at you a little when you reached the tissue. I was sure that you caught cold.

“Why did you open the window? Didn’t you see it was drizzling?”, I said as you finished blowing your nose.

“I needed to turn off the machine but if I didn’t open the window I’d die because of the lack of oxygen right?”

I sighed, “I hate you so much today”, I mumbled peevishly.

“Mianhe”

 

I cursed my self for following you till you got in your room. I shouldn’t have done that, I knew. But I—stupidly –was worried. We still had tight promotion schedule, you couldn’t be sick because of silly thing like ‘driving me to T’s apartment because you didn’t want me to sleepover there’.

“Lay down”, I said, you obeyed me. You were such an obedient kid because you knew your mistake.

I took off your shoes then put them on the shoe rack. I then got your pajama from your wardrobe,

“Here, change your clothes. You should be done when I’m back”, I said.

“Okay”

I immediately went to your kitchen to make you some light food and a cup of hot milk, because I knew you wouldn’t do anything when you felt unwell—you’d just sleep on your bed like a dead zombie. Oh my God how could you make me so pissed sometimes?

But my heart melted when I got back to your room and saw your sleeping face. You covered the whole of your body with blanket, you snuggled your face to the pillow.

I put the food and milk on your night desk. You knew I was there so you opened your eyes.

“If only you didn’t do such stupid thing, you wouldn’t be sick”, I said to you.

You put your palm on your forehead, “I don’t have fever though“

“Listen to me, if you get fever I swear I’ll slap you”, I glared at you.

“O..okay”

“Here, drink your milk and eat your food, then back to sleep. Sleep a lot, don’t play video game even on cell phone. Don’t get busy with your sound mixer because it’ll make you stay awake for 24 hours. Don’t think about anything stupid, don’t text or call me, don’t be guilty because I am mad, if you don’t rest well I’ll get even madder. Don’t watch , it’d also make you stay awake for 24 hours”

“Gosh I don’t do that anymore for such long time”

“Just do what I said”

“Okay”

“I’m going home, I need to get some rest too”

“Rest well, Princess”

 

It was actually hard for me to leave you alone since you were about to catch cold. Thank God you didn’t get fever so you just needed to get some rest to get better. Although I wanted to make sure myself till you were totally healed, but I needed to leave you because I need to rest too since we were in tight promotion schedule.

As I got home I immediately bathed with warm water to release the tiredness. And when I just felt relaxed after I soaked my body into warm water, I remembered those words you said earlier. You might think I didn’t care about what you said, but it kept repeating in my head. Why did you say those words in such situation Amber?

“Stupid”, I mumbled. If only you told me directly that you saw his text, you didn’t need to destroy the meaning of those words. You had no idea how meaningful those word for me if it’s from you. How I wanted to punch you, Amber, if you were not sick I probably did punch you.

Just right after I finished bathing and getting dressed, I grabbed my cell phone to call a certain someone. I needed to call S. S is my very best friend since we were in junior high school. She is not celebrity, and I don’t want people know about her being the closest friend of mine. I didn’t like to share my closeness with the people I love, so I kept some of my best friends away from media. S knew everything about me, since I was little until now. I always looked for her if I wanted to tell about something that I couldn’t tell my sister. S is also American-speaker-Korean just like me. Her parents used to work in US and she attended an International School I joined (note from author: Amber also attended the same foreign school few years later, and Jessica was graduated from the same school. So basically Jessica was Amber’s senior, Krystal was Amber’s junior, but Krystal joined another school for senior high level). Lucky for her because she was not a celebrity, so she could be back to US to attend university. How I wished I could do the same. Oh, S also knew about my story with you, you met her for few times but you didn’t know that S knew a lot about you from me.

“Yes what”, S answered my call. She was munching something as usual.

“Are in US?”

“Yes but I’ll be back before winter”

“Are you free now?”

“Yes, moron, I am. Oh, I’ve seen your new music, guuurl it’s cool”

“I know, we’re always cool”

“Naaaah… this is the coolest. You usually looked like a full make up Barbie doll in your music videos but this one you look naturally gorgeous I admit it”

“Shut uuuup”, I giggled. How I missed this girl.

“And the Amber of yours looks cuter”

“I know right. I’m calling you because of her”

“You know what? I’m actually sick of your never ending love story with her”

“But you need to listen this tiiiiiime”

“Okay what did she do again?”

“She confessed”

“……….what?”

“Amber CONFESSED me”

“WUUUUUTTTTT??? Like finaaaaalyyy”

“It’s not like what you think tho”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

And I told her what happened to us earlier. Your stupidity, your jealousy, your worries about me visiting T’s apartment. I also told her that I just broke up with T.

“Now, what should I do? She’s just too stupid to be true”

“……well… she is”

I was silent for a moment because I was literally thinking how should I react to your confession.

“Are you biting your nail now?”

“I am. I have no idea what to do. I am mad and…… confused at the same time”

“Well honestly although you’re my friend and am always on your side, but we can’t really blame Amber for saying it in such situation”

“What do you mean?”

“You always make her shut for not saying those words to you. And when she read his text she was just worried, she didn’t want someone she loves being touched by another person. She couldn’t let it happen when she exactly knew it. Okay she was wrong because she didn’t confirm it to you, but she was all worried she couldn’t think clearly”

“………………………………………………”

“I said it, I’m on your side, but this time we can’t really blame Amber right?”

“What should I do S-ya?”

“You don’t need to do anything. Just don’t be mad at her anymore”

“Should I answer her confession?”

“She just said it Soojung ah, she didn’t even ask you anything. She just told you the reason why she didn’t let you go to T, because she loves you and she doesn't want someone she loves being touched by other person”

 

And what S said to me made me felt guilty. She was right, it did make sense now. I shouldn’t have been that mad at you. I felt like teleporting to your room and hugging you because you were a little bit unwell when I left you, but of course it was impossible. I just decided to close my eyes so that I could wake up in the morning and see you sooner on the next day.

 

 

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The Clueless Person POV

 

Sht! I got fever a bit. No, no, this shouldn’t happen. I did drink the milk and the food you made earlier. I slept really well but why…

I suddenly shivered because the air felt so cold on my skin, ”achooo! Oh sht!”, I rubbed my nose. I got up of the bed. As I remembered I still had some flu medicines. I immediately grabbed them before the fever got any worse. Just after I had the medicine I went straight to bed and slept like a dead person. I hoped I’d be totally fine tomorrow or else the princess would slap me.

I felt my head was a little bit heavy when I woke up. I rubbed my nose, it wasn’t really running anymore. I then touched my forehead, it was warm a little bit, but it was better than last night. I immediately cleaned my self and got dressed before heading to agency. We had many things to do for the promotion, it was going to be a long long day.

The driver from the agency picked me up at my apartment. I peeked into the van before I got in—wanted to make sure if you were there or not—sometimes they picked up both of us in a time—but fortunately you were not there. I was scared of you because my body was still warm, I didn't want you to get madder at me. I didn’t realize when did I close my eyes, but I still felt a little bit unwell so yeah I fell asleep.

“Amber wake up, we’re here”. A certain familiar voice woke me up from my deep sleep.

My heart was about to jump when I opened my eyes because……… your face was right in front of mine, and your palm was on my forehead. No way… You could be very mad.

“I… I’m not having fever!”, I said before quickly got of the van and ran inside the building.

“Amber wait!”

Gosh, you were behind me. I couldn’t run anymore, I just turned to you, surrendered “… Here, slap me if you want”

“Who says I wanna slap you, stupid”, you approached me, “sit down”, you said. We were inside a random studio. Fortunately, there was no one there.

I obeyed you to sit. You then grabbed something out from your backpack, a lunch box, “I asked my mom to make porridge for you, eat this. And get some sleep when you finish the food, we still have 40 minutes before we head to Mstage”

I had no idea what to say. I didn’t see the madness in your eyes anymore, all I saw was just the caring Soojung. I took the lunch box while stared at you blankly.

“Come on, Amber”, you put your hands on my shoulders and pushed me gently to sit. You took the lunch box from me, “look it’s still warm”, you then opened it. It smelled really good.

I grabbed the spoon and started to eat. It was so awkward because you were watching me eating. It made me ate the porridge hurriedly.

You chuckled, “eat slowly, am”, you suddenly put your hands on my forehead, “your fever will go away soon, don’t be sick, we need to work hard, okay?”, you caressed my head.

I nodded like a little kid. I thought you were still mad and would get even madder because I was a little bit unwell.

“Ambo ya Soojunga, what are you guys doing here?? Come on pick your costume, stylists are waiting in costume room along with Luna and Victoria”, our manager said to us.

“Okay. But let me and stylist pick Amber’s costume, she’s staying here because she’s a little bit unwell, she needs to sleep for a moment”

“Really? Amber you should be better soon seriously…”

“I will”, I assured manager oppa.

“Am listen, eat it up, drink a lot of water then close your eyes for a moment. I’ll be back”

I nodded. I had no idea how could your madness be gone very soon, but it made me very happy, “Ummm yummy”, I mumbled as I put a spoonful of porridge into my happy mouth. You would roll your eyes if you saw me being dork like this.

 

 

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The Confused Girl POV

 

I felt relieve as I saw you being dork again. The flu symptoms had completely gone. You totally looked fine, ran here and there just like a little monkey. Amber was being Amber, I was happy to see you like that. I didn’t like it when I saw you worried or sad, I regretted for making you worried about me. I wouldn’t do that anymore.

Our promotion went really really good. This was the best f(x) promotion I’ve ever felt. Everything just went awesome. The selling of our album—physically and digitally—was really great. F(x) image was going better and better, we even got offered so many commercial, reality shows, magazine shoots, and many more. I thought our company was very happy about it, because all of sudden they offered us to hold f(x) concert. We didn’t expect that we would get this much, we were beyond happy and we promised to do our best more and more in the future.

I couldn’t deny it that we were almost back to the ‘chummy’ level lately. I didn’t plan it and I was sure you didn’t plan it either. We just met very often to work together so the chemistry was going up again. Moreover, I didn’t know why after I called S that night, I decided to not limit our feeling—I meant, S was right, I always prevented you to do this and that, I always hold our feeling, and it was tiring, it didn’t even make our feeling for each other go away—it grew even stronger instead.

“Water?”, you handed me a bottle of mineral water. We were in break time of practicing.

I took the bottle, “thanks”

“Uhh Princess. Can I ask you something?”

I glanced at you suspiciously, “Stupid questions won’t be answered”

“Fine”

“Okay, what?”

“I just noticed it… err…. I know we’re very busy but… you usually took some moment to…… visit T… I mean, if it’s because of me, I… I am sorry. I won’t do stupid thing anymore”

“……Really?”

You took few seconds before nodded.

“You sure you won’t bother me again?”, I needed to tease you.

You nodded again.

“Umm…… so you won’t mind if I sleepover at T’s apartment?”

“W..What?”

“You heard me”

“Yaa hey, look, why would you sleepover at someone’s place?! You have house don’t you? You’re a woman, aren’t you a classy woman with brain?? You should take care of your self you know ”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“…why? Why are you laughing it’s not even funny”

“You said you won’t bother me anymore but you don’t seem like it”

You sighed, “fine, do whatever you want. I won’t bother you anymore”, look who was cranky here.

“Okay, but even you don’t bother me anymore, I won’t do that”

“…what do you mean?”

“I broke up with T”

Your cute eyes went wider, “R..really?”, you looked like an excited puppy who tried its best to stay calm.

“You were such an idiot when you prevented me to meet him, I couldn’t cancel my plan to meet him, because I planned to say it to him”

“………… oh……”, you looked totally dumbfounded.

 

 

After I told you that I had broken up with T, we became more open to each other. I let you showed you affection and care to me. When we were younger, I enjoyed the way you treated me like a princess—I didn’t care about what would happen next—I just wanted to enjoyed it, but now I let you showed your affection and care because I didn’t want to control your feeling anymore, and I wasn’t just enjoying it, but I also did the same—I showed you that I cared about you, a lot.

I was tired. I was tired of controlling our feeling, I was too tired to pretend, I was too tired to run away from you. I thought we should be apart because we needed to be professional as workmates, but the fact we could work even harder and better if we were honest  to ourselves and be ourselves. I had decided it, I was 21 years old, I was mature enough to decide to be honest and happy.

 

“You know what?”, you woke me up from my thoughts.

“Hm?”, I raised my brows.

We just arrived at our agency, we took some rest before we continued to practice again. We always practiced like really hard during come back promotion because we learned  many new dance moves.

“Once an idea popped in my mind, but I don’t think I can do it”, you continued.

“Hm? Why? What idea?”

“Tattoo your face here”, you lifted your arm.

“What??”, I couldn’t resist your cheesiness. I laughed while covered my mouth.

You grinned like an idiot, “seriously I was about to do that”

“What for? Don’t be stupid”

“I don’t know I just feel like it. But I’m not that stupid because I didn’t do it did I?”

I bit my lip, although it sounded stupid but honestly I found it sweet, "Why don't you do it then?"

"Because your face is already painted here", you pointed your chest.

Seriously, you made me pinched your nose, "I don't buy that cheesy pick up line of yours"

"It's truuuuue"

 

“Yaa you two moody love birds”

We turned to the voice source, it was Victoria unnie.

“Head manager is calling”, Vic unnie sat next to us. She then opened the mineral water bottle and took a gulp.

“The two of us?”, you asked.

“Yeah”

“How about Luna unnie?”, this time was me.

“Oh she’s in toilet, as usual”, yes Luna unnie could spend more than 30 minutes in toilet.

“Come on, Princess”, you got up and lended me your hand.

But I just looked at you doubtfully, “What happened? Why is he calling us?”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s about come back material I guess”

I glanced at Vic unnie, “is it?”

She nodded doubtfully, “Maybe, it’s okay Soojunga. Go..”, Vic unnie tapped my back.

 

We knocked the Head Manager’s room, few minutes later we heard, “please come in”, from inside. He was sitting on his chair, smiling to us. Head manager isn’t like the ordinary managers, he leads all the artist managers and he never follows the artist here and there, he just receives artists’ reports from all managers, he also takes care of scandals and all artists’ problems.

“Yo manager nim”, you bro-fisted him. Sometimes I wondered how could you be so chill and friendly to anyone.

“Have a seat guys”

We both sat down.

“Guys……… I don’t think I should take any longer”, he started to talk. But then he took his cell phone, “you guys better read it yourselves”, he gave it to us.

 

Here was the message:

Daspitch: yaa manager nim, what takes you so long? Don’t you notice it?

Manager: Oh hi daspitch nim, now what else?

Daspitch: we released the news few weeks ago tho…

Manager: Really? It must be a cheap news then because I didn’t notice anything haha

Daspitch: well… here is the news

Daspitch: it’s only a piece of fluffy cake tho, we have many other pictures. let’s make a deal shall we?

Manager: this is too funny, it looks perfectly fine, they’re best friends who work together, they’re mates

Daspitch: you won’t think it’s funny anymore if you see my other pictures. oh do you think friends will intertwined their hands? And same-s3x relationship scandal will be a very great news you know

Manager: Okay hold on, I need to discuss with my team and I’ll contact you later

Daspitch: you better be hurry manager nim… we need to talk about it soon.

 

You snorted. And I was so blank, I was afraid something bad would happen to us.

“If you want to ask us about our relationship, we are not lovers, I’m telling you the truth. And if you want to ask why are we so close, people can be so close and chummy with anyone right? Krystal was the first person I was close with in Korea, she’s more than just a friend of course”

“I know, Amber. Stay calm. But I have to admit it that you two look very close and intimate sometimes, more than just a skinship”

“And what should we do? Ignore each other? Then people would blame us again because we are in one group but we hate each other, they will always blame us won’t they?”

“Even we minimize our interaction…”, I finally spoke, “even it’s just a little interaction, people would go crazy about it, because we have that chemistry… we don’t even create it, we don’t even know where does it come from”, I just told the truth. I just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I know guys. And honestly, personally, I wouldn’t mind about what’s between you two, but we know that it’s related to our job. Working in entertainment industry is really scks. Sometimes even if we already did our best to work and created the best creations, a little piece of bad image will ruin anything. You guys need to understand, and admit it”

We stayed silent. He was right, celebrities can't unrelated their personal life with their career.

“f(x) is doing the best promotion now, we even will hold our first solo concert. I won’t blame or punish you here, but I want to ask Krystal to do something to overcome this issue”

The manager looked at me in the eyes. You also turned to me, we looked at each other for a moment.

I turned back to the manager, “Me?”

He nodded firmly, “and besides, you will also help us to overcome the other scandal we have”

“But why me?”

“You’re such an introvert person, and you are very secretive and mysterious about your personal life so when it’s revealed, all people would pay all their attention to you and they could forget about the other scandals”

“…………………”

“…………………”

 

 

 

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Next Chapter: Flashback: Best things to do

 

Teaser:

“That news is useless. No matter how intimate they look, some people won’t buy it, they’d still think they’re good friends, and besides it’s Amber we’re talking about; Amber is so chummy to anyone. If you’re interested, we have bigger news for Kpop world, and we can work together here”

“……… what is it?”

“Here, look. How good they look together. Cute, eh? People would thank you a lot for revealing them dating. But before we give this brilliant news, you should give us the original photos of Am and Krys, and erase all the copies”

“……………………………………………………… Deal”

 

 

PS: IT'S ONLY FANFIC

PIC CREDIT TO: ONEHALLYU KRYBER FORUM