The Confused Girl POV

We had hard times when you were on your hiatus. Yes, we, f(x)--because we didn't know whether you would come back or not. We asked to our managers, they didn't know either, they weren't sure if you could be back and join us again. I was so worried, first, I was worried about your condition, second, I was worried that you wouldn't come back and I'd never see you again. I missed you. I had no idea why did I miss you that much. I have some best friends who were studying abroad, I missed them but missing you were different. Amber, I really wanted you back.

We finally got a chance to meet you when we shot our reality show program in LA. We only had a day to visit you, and it was only for few hours. I was surprised when I saw youin LA, you looked much better, you looked fresh. You smiled a lot, you were very talkative unlike when you were in Korea. I thought it might be good for you if you stayed in LA, but the other side of me said I wanted you back to Korea. We all hugged you before we left your house, everyone of us told you to come back, and you answered us with smile. I wasn't sure, was it me or did you hug me tigher and longer? But I was sure you whispered to me "take care Princess"

After we got back to Korea, it was the other long days without you. I was very busy, I even finally got a boy friend, but you were never out of my mind. 

And the day finally came. The day that made me went insane, until now. The day when I saw you, in our practice room. Again, I thought you were an oppa. You grew so well, you looked so different. Your hair was shorter, it looked cool and suit you well. Your legs grew taller, and your back... somehow... looked manlier.

"Hey guys, I'm back", you grinned, that llama face had never changed.

They immediately hugged you and you guys joked around.

"Amber unnie we missed you!"

"Ya Amber, how come you look so manly now? Aigooo you're an oppa material"

"Hyung!! You looked so handsome!"

I was there, watching you playing around with the others. I didn't know why I reacted so awkward. But you finally looked at me. You approached me that was standing frozen like a statue.

"Hey gongju nim, I'm back"

I need few seconds before I replied, "hi, welcome back Amber"

"Yaa.. Don't you miss me?"

"...... I did..."

You smiled warmly. I felt so weak when you pulled me into your hug. It felt so warm, it somehow felt comfortable and I really missed your scent. I was so stupid because suddenly I felt like crying, and yes, I did cry.

"Yaa Soojungie, why are you crying??", I heard Vic unnie giggled a bit.

"I knew it Amber unnie, she looked so lost without you", Luna unnie added.

"Aigooo our dooddungie is sweeeet", Sulli's turn.

"It's okay guys, she just missed me too much", and it was finally you, and it made me hit your chest repeatedly.

I remembered what you said when we were in coffee shop, you said if you should come back a an idol after you took some break time, you'd be the real Amber, the cheerful Amber, the friendly Amber. And you did it. I could feel it. You were different from the Amber few years ago, the lonely Amber, the Amber who only had me, the Amber who always needed me. Sometimes I missed the old Amber, but I was also happy because you changed as a very independent person, you made many new friends. You even told me that you joined a foreign Korean idol community, they all spoke English. So, it wasn't only me anymore, you didn't only need me anymore. 

You made me insane Amber, because I somehow adored you. Even I sometimes missed the old clueless Amber, but the real you was so charming. As a girl who already got a boyfriend, thinking of you was a sin for me. I remembered when you told me you hate it when I was with the other guys, and I felt it, I hate it when I saw you so chummy with your friends. But even so, I could feel it, something that never changed, the way you treated me, like I was the only one Princess in your own world. The way you looked at me, you looked at my eyes like you were digging my heart.

Oneday suddenly my mom called me and told me that I got a guess, and it was you.

"Hey is Jess here?", you whispered as you saw me. You've always been afraid of my sister, when I asked why you said because she's too pretty. Well stupid Amber always got her own nonsense reason.

"No. Come on let's go to my room. Do you bring me food?", I asked as we walked toward my bedroom. 

"Sure"

"What is it?"

"Pizza!"

"Not bad"

"I know right"

"Why are you coming here? I thought you were going to have fun with your friends again", I asked as we were in my room already.

"I suddenly missed you"

I could feel the warmth on my cheeks, but I acted like it was nothing, "I know you like me too much"

"I do", you gave me your dorky smile. Sometimes I wanted to be like you Amber. You could tell it straight to me that you liked me, I was your Princess, you missed me, I was pretty, and many other cheesy things. But it was hard for me to tell you that I missed you, how I adored you, how handsome you were. All I could tell you when you were being adorable was "cutie Amber"

"How much do like me anyways?", I asked you curiously but I made it sound like a joke.

"Umm......", you hummed while served the pizza, "more than your boyfriend like you, I guess"

That made me smile, like a mad girl, really. I shouldn't have asked you that because it made me insane.

"Even you don't like me that way", you said while took a bite of pizza.

"What??", I reacted while took the pizza slice.

"You like your boy friend more than me don't you?"

"......... no"

"Really? Does it mean you like me more?", you looked like puppy asking for his biscuit.

I was speechless, didn't know what to say, "... shut up and eat your pizza"

"Hahahaha"

"Why are you laughing?"

"You like me more than your boyfriend, I am happy"

I rolled my eyes at you.

Well, honestly, you were right.

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Next Chapter: flashback: Why do we act like lovers