The Clueless Person POV

 

I still had no idea what happened to me, and why was that woman pulling my wrist casually? We rarely talked, we even rarely met. Okay we talked few times, but it was only ‘Oh hi’ or ‘is Soojung here?’. I didn’t even remember when was the last time we talked? This woman isn’t actually a bad person, she isn’t even arrogant. As far as I remembered, she didn’t act this cold to me when the first time we met. I thought she started acting a ‘little’ bit cold to me since I came back from LA after my hiatus. Wait……… I just realized that I started being intimate with you right after I came back from my hiatus… Could it be…

 

 “Sit there”, the woman-Jess-your sister, woke me up from my own busy thoughts.

I looked around and realized we were in dining room. I took a seat and Jess sat at my opposite.

“Have you eaten something?”, she asked. I didn’t know she could be this friendly.

I shook my head while smiled a little.

“Wanna eat something? Or drink something?”

I shook my head again. And she looked at me with confused look.

“Okay. I won’t force you. But you can talk or can’t you?”

“Uh?? Sure I… I can”

“Because you just wiggled your head, I thought you can’t talk”, she sipped the tea that was prepared neatly on the table.

“S… Sorry”

“For what?”

“Uh? I… I don’t know”, I scratched the back of my head.

Jess giggled, “easy Amber… easy… I don’t bite, really”

I smiled awkwardly. I had no idea what made me so awkward when I had to face her.

“Do you think it’s funny?”, Jess randomly asked.

“Uh?”

“People think we don’t like each other”

“W..what? It’s not true”

She glanced at me and all of sudden her expression turned cold, “who said it’s true?”

“… no one”, I answered faintly. I scratched the back of neck this time.

“But it’s so funny right?”, her face turned bright again. I couldn’t really expect what was on her mind. Her expression changed easily.

“Y..yeah”

“I don’t hate you at all”

Her statement made me felt relieve and smiled a little.

"I don't hate you too"

"Ya! Why would you hate me what did I do to you?!"

"N...Nah... I mean..."

“But the closeness between you and my sister bothers me sometimes”

I was sure my face turned pale, “w…what do you mean?”

She narrowed her eyes while stared at me, “Soojung is just a little baby. I know she has grown but for me she’s just a little baby. I’m always worried about her, I don’t know why”, Jess sipped her tea again, “She talked about you, a lot, since the first time she met you. She said you’re unique, you’re dork stupid and everything about you”

I listened. I didn’t know you talked about me a lot to your sister.

“It’s not weird though, talking about our friends is a common thing. She also talks about her friends sometimes, but when she talked about you it was like she was talking about her crush”

My eyes were wide-opened.

“She giggled, she even bit her lip”, Jess glanced at me, “she also did the same when she talked about the guy she liked. But Amber, you’re not the ‘guy’ she likes are you?”

At this kind of moment, when people talk about the ambiguity of my gender, I can be very brave.

I looked up to Jess, “I’m sure I’m not a guy, but I have no idea if I’m the one she likes”, I bravely said.

This time Jess’ eyes stared at me differently, “I know right”, she looked interested.

“When you liked someone, you couldn’t really decide who would it be. We just randomly like someone because of some reasons, or even with no reason”

She looked down—her finger played with the tip of the tea cup while nodded her head in agreement.

“But honestly, Krystal never says she likes me. Not even once”

She looked a little bit surprised, “really?”

“Yeah”, I chuckled.

“Anyways… What kind of relationship do you have with my sister?”

“……… she’s…… a special person”, I firmly answered, “when you had no one, when you were all alone, and when you really needed someone, then suddenly someone appeared and got your back, that person would mean a lot for you”

Jess looked at me in the eyes, “is that so…”

“I really understand as an older sister, you want the best for your sister. You must really concern about the ones she’s close with and……… as you see… this is how I look…”

“Excuse me there, I don’t judge. I don’t and never judge someone by how they look”

“…… I know…”

“Look, Am”, she motioned closer to me and stared at me deeply serious, “I am always suspicious to everyone, mostly guys, that look intimate with my sister. It’s not only you. And I don’t think anything bad about how you look. But admit it, the closeness between you and my sister is more than just friends, that’s why I asked you such questions”

 “I’m sorry. I know you’re not a judging-type person, I was just……worried I… actually I’m  worried about me being the way I am… here in Korea……well, sometimes”

“I see. Well, it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s wasting your time anyway”, she sipped her tea again.

“What?”

“Feeling not okay because of worrying about what other people think of you is wasting your time, it’s my opinion”, she put the cup back on the table, “don’t hurt my sister. That’s all I want”

“I won’t, really”

Jess nodded, “I know you’re a good person. And even I hate to say it, I somehow trust you”

 

 

 

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The confused Girl POV

 

I told him that I would visit him on the next day, but he said he missed me so much. He stayed, he didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t just shoo him away so I let him sat in living room while had chit chat with me. I mentally face palmed as I saw you came. You said you wanted to go home because he was there, I didn’t let it happen. I didn’t want to ruin our plan seriously. I’ve been waiting for such moment since the last time you visited my house. I’ve prepared anything.

I asked you to wait for me in my room, I’d talk to T and asked him to let me be with you. I was about to die when T almost said to you that we wanted to go for a date, fortunately before he finished his sentence, my sister came and brought you away. But then I was worried, what were she doing to you?

T was making a joke so I tried my best to laugh. But he noticed that I wasn’t comfortable. My body was with him but my mind was not there.

“So, we can’t really go out today?”, he asked.

I shook my head, “sorry, oppa”

“I still don’t get it to be honest”

“And I still don’t get it why should we go now when we have tomorrow”, I said.

“I miss you, Soojunga”, he said with childish gesture. He loved being a kid.

“I’ll visit you tomorrow, I promise”

T stared at me—begging me to be with him with his puppy eyes. The situation was very uncomfortable for me.

“I’m sorry Oppa, I have promised you that we’ll meet tomorrow. Now I can’t let Amber wait too long”

“But she’s with your sister”

“That’s why I can’t let her be with my sister too long”

“……… why?”

“Uh? Uhh…”, what did I say? Those words just came out through my mouth, “I mean……. Unnie will leave soon right? I can’t leave Amber alone, she must be bored”

“Oh, uhm… Promise me you will see me tomorrow?”

I nodded.

T let out a deep sigh, “…… Okay… Have fun with Amber”

I felt bad for doing this to him. But I would feel worse if I cancelled my plan with you. Not that I don’t like surprise, but it would be better if T told me first if he wanted to take me for a date.

T was about to kiss me goodbye when I walked him to the main door, I refused, “my mom and dad are home”, I reasoned. I thought T mentally rolled his eyes. I was a bad girl friend indeed.

“See you tomorrow”

“See you”

I waved to him and tried my best to give him a sweet smile, that was all I could give to make him feel better.

As T left I immediately went to see you and my sister. I hoped she didn’t say anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. My sister didn’t hate you I knew that, but she was a little bit unfriendly to you. I actually know the reason. My sister, Jess, she is a very protective older sister, and I will always be her baby sister. She wants me to get the best in everything. Once she told me, “Don’t grow up too fast Soojunga, being adult is very complicated. And don’t fall in love with a wrong person”. She always reminded me to get the best of the best man, or don’t fall in love at all. That’s why she always acted cold to my ex boyfriends. Well, even you were not my ex or my ‘boy’ friend, but my sister, I wasn’t sure but I thought she knew something about you being special to me.

“Amber?”, I finally found you, with my sister of course. You guys were at dining room. I was a little bit surprised because you guys were chatting like friends, my sister was even smiling.

“Oh, Jung Soojungie?”

“Hi”, you smiled at me.

“Ya Ambo we wasted too many time you know?! Go to my room ppali I will get the snacks for us”, I commanded you like a boss.

“Okay”, you stood up, “bye, Jess”, you waved goodbye to my sister.

“Bye, Amber, it was nice talking with you”, my sister replied.

You guys looked weird.

I pulled the chair and took a seat after you left, “ya unnie, what were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing. Oh, you know Amber know some of my friends, she knows I she knows J. She knows a lot of people”

“Hmm… did you only talk about it? You didn’t say something that makes her uncomfortable did you?”

“Of course I didn’t. Hey I was helping you, you know? What do you think would happen if your boyfriend told Amber that he wanted to take you for a date? Amber would definitely leave right??”

She was right. I grinned at her, “Thank you so much biggy sissy”, I said in ‘aegyo’ way.

“Ya you pabo kid listen to me”

“What?”

“Look. I don’t know what’s between you and Amber”

My heart stopped beating for a moment.

“But she’s a good person. Look, Krystal”, my sister would call my American name when she was serious, “you’re an adult now. Just think and be wise when you decide something, you know what’s good or bad for you. Unnie will always be here when you need me”, she tapped my cheek.

I hugged her. We’re emotionally very close, I love her a lot, Jess is the best sister in the world.

“Now go to Amber, she has been waiting too long”

I nodded, “Is TK oppa here already?”

“Almost. Bye ugly, see you later”, she kissed my cheek before left.

 

You were daydreaming when I got my room, “hey”, my voice ruined your thoughts.

You answered me with a little smile.

“I’m sorry for making you wait”

“Nah”

You were sitting on the floor, leaning your back against my bed, I took a seat right next to you.

“Are you okay?”, I asked. You didn’t seem fine.

“Yeah”

“T, he didn’t say anything before he came here. He said he was in Japan. He… he wanted to surprise me”

“So I ruined his plan”, you chuckled.

“No… We planned this first”

“Umm”

“What did my sister say to you?”

You smiled a bit, “we talked a lot. Our friends, I mean her friends are my friends too, well some of her friends are my friends”

“Hmm… And?”

“Uhh…… well, she asked about our relationship”

“…… what did you say to her then?”

You turned to me, “you’re special. You might be special for everyone because you’re pretty, gorgeous. Who doesn’t like a woman like you anyway?”

I rolled my eyes, “stop it”

“But what makes you special to me, is because everything you’ve done for me, since the first time we met, even till now”

I knew that. You’re different from other people who are always glued by my physically-looking. Even my ex boyfriends admitted they fell in love with me since the first time they saw me, which means they were interested with my physical-looking, they didn’t even know who I am.

“I told the same to E, and I made her cry”

I furrowed my brows, “what do you mean?”

“Just like T, E came to my apartment last morning. She asked me to go out with her. I told her the truth about our plan. She was very mad, she forced me to tell her the reason why are we so close, I mean you and me”

“………… and she cried?”

You faintly nodded, “why do people ask ‘why you choose that person instead of me? what makes that person special?’. Do they have heart? When heart decide something, it is not a compromise”

I listened. I could sense that you spoke your heart out.

“If only I could choose, I didn’t want you to be the one who met me in that convenience store, I didn’t want you to help me with the foreign language, I didn’t want you to help me. I didn’t want you……… to be the one who can make me feel very comfortable. Because we both are celebrity, we even work in same company and same group……… it’s so complicated”

I could see the tiredness in your eyes. You are not the type who whines when you’re tired, you always look chill and cheerful. But I could feel it, every time you felt tired, I’ve always noticed it.

“Am”

You glanced at me, “hm?”

I tapped my lap. Getting my message, you leaned closer and laid your body down—put your head on my lap.

I took off your cap before caressed your hair gently.

“Krys”

“Yes?”

“......Why are we like this… What happened to us”

“…… I don’t know”, I kept playing with your hair, sometimes I massaged your forehead with my thumb.

“Should we let it go?”

“……Just let it flow, Am, just let it go with the flow”

 

 

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Next Chapter: Flashback: Confession

Teaser:

“Don’t go…”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t go to him”

“…… Amber…”

“I want to talk to you, now”