The Clueless Person POV

 

Now I’d tell you a condition—you got a friend, a best friend—but you always wanted her by your side like 24/7 hours, and you were jealous if she was with her boyfriend—and again you knew you liked her but you had no idea what kind of ‘like’ was it—and this best friend of yours often asked you how much you liked her, she even sometimes made you choose between your other friends and her—and the worst was; she kissed your cheek very gently and looked very shy after she did, and your heart was like going to explode. Now tell me, what kind of ‘best friends relationship’ was that, Ms. Jung? Were you sure that we were only best friends?

Why did you do that to me. You made me wonder what was on your mind. Right after you left me in my car, I immediately called my best friend—well, literally best friend. I had no idea why I called him I just needed someone to explain what did just happen to us.

“hey, Dan”

“Ssup Am”

“Do you have a best friend?”

“…sure… my best friends are yours too”

“No no no”, I said while started my car, “the closest one, I mean a girl, girl best friend”

“……like…. Tiff? Jane? W what are you actually talking about??”

“Have they kissed your cheek?”

“What??”

“Just answer”

“Yea sometimes when they’re happy or when I did what they wanted you know girls are evil”

“How did it feel? How did they kiss you?”

“Amber, are you okay?”

“Sure I’m great just answer Dan for godsake”

“How did they kiss me? Just a peck you know peck on the cheek just a friendly kiss not even a second”

“Friendly kiss…… not even a second… okay Dan thanks”

 

 

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The Confused Girl POV

 

That was crazy, but… kissing your friend’s cheek… well I didn’t think it was ‘that’ crazy… But my heart was beating so fast. I had never felt something like that before. Yes, I dated some guys and I admitted it I did some romantic moves and yes it felt romantic, but again—I said too many buts—but that was really really different. My body heat went up and it was like I almost lost my conscious.

“Hi baby look I’m at home!!”, it was my sister. She was usually very busy with her schedules, we were rarely at home at the same time. When Jess was home, it was a special day for me. But that day I couldn’t feel anything.

“Unnie…”, I approached my sister while stared at her blankly, “unnie…”, I put my palms on her cheeks, “is kissing someone’s cheek special?”

“What? I thought you and your boy friend are not in that level anymore?”

“Ssshh unnie… it’s different”, I was still staring at her blankly, I pinched her cheeks lightly without realizing it, “unnie… why does kissing on the cheek feel so special…”

“Yaa paboo what’s wrong with you? Who did you kiss?”

“…someone… Oh my Gosh! I don’t know, unnie what’s wrong with me? Unnie…”

“Soojung ah, I think you’re crazy already”

“… I am… I am… I think I am…”, I couldn’t take the feeling so I put my hands on my sister’s cheeks again and pinched them again.

“Yaa! Stop it you crazy kid!”

“Aaaaaa unnie why am I soooo happy!!!”, I slapped her cheeks lightly, pinched them, smooched her cheeks and hugged her like a crazy lovey dovey teenager.

“YAA SOOJUNG AH STOP IT!!! God… ARE YOU CRAZY?!! Mooooom your child is going insane!”

 

 

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The Clueless Person POV

 

It was mid night and my eyes didn’t want to be closed. My head was like a movie projector that played our last scene that day. I touched my cheek for the 274249284 times I guess. I still could feel your soft lips on my cheek. Was it just a friendly kiss? Wait a minute but Dan said friendly kiss is just like a light peck, not even a second. And you pressed your lips on my cheek like for few seconds, wait, or did it reach a minute? You kissed my cheek gently I couldn’t forget it.

Oh sht Ms. Jung, I liked you already, I thought you were making me like you even more, or love you?

“No!”, I got up of my bed, “no no no don’t play with your feeling Amber noooope”, I told my self.

“Woof!”, it was my dog, Jackjack.

“What?”

“Woof!”

“Nah I’m not falling in love”

“Woof woof!”

“Oh come on Jackjack that won’t happen”

I thought I was like a mad person. I sat on the chair—biting my nail—then I stood up again and approached my other dog, Gongju, “I miss her, should I text her?”, I asked Gongju, she just blinked, looking sleepy.

“I knew it… I felt something for her… something strange… but I thought I just like her because she was my first friend here, she took care of me remember?”

Jackjack ran toward me, “woof!”

“I don’t know, Jackjack. This can’t be love right…”

 

I finally fell asleep but I didn’t know how did it happen. I just woke up in the morning with my two dogs were snoring on my tummy. I moved them to their beds then I cleaned my self. I suddenly felt like there was a hole in my chest, and it reminded me of you. I took my cell phone and dialed your number.

 

“Hallo”

“Hi krys, are you filming?”

“I’m on my way to the set”

“Oh. Have you had breakfast?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Was about roast the bread”

“Why didn’t you text me last night?”

“Uh? Oh… I… I fell asleep, sorry”

“………stupid. You made me wait”

“Oh? S..sorry I … I thought you were asleep too, I…”

“You made  me think something bad happened to you. Next time you have to tell me when you’re home”

“Will do, Princess”

“Good”

“Uhh… what time will you finish filming today?”

“…earlier than usual… but……… I have an appointment”

My knees suddenly felt weak. Could it be him?

“How about you? What’s your plan today?”

“I don’t have any schedules. Maybe I will go playing around with my friends”

“Oh”

 

 

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The Confused Girl POV

 

“Oh”, that was all I could say.

My knees suddenly felt so weak when you said you would go out with your friends again, those girls again. I wonder how could you being chummy to anyone. I hate that. But I had no rights to say ‘don’t’.

 

It was my last week of filming. I couldn’t really concentrate filming but I tried my best. We hadn’t seen each other for like almost a week.  You had no idea how I missed you. Fortunately we often texted and called each other. Our come back as f(x) was getting near, so after I finished filming we would start our preparation for come back. We would have a mini album they said. I was so excited. Excited about the project and… we would see each other very often.

You promised me that you would pick me up on our first day of come back preparation. I had no idea why all of my clothes looked so wrong that day, and my hair… I thought something was also wrong with my hair. I kept changing clothes and arranging my hair. It was because of you Amber, because you wanted to pick me up.

 

“Soojung, Amber’s here”, it was my mom. My heart suddenly beat so fast as I knew you were there already. I took deep breath, ‘I should be normal, yes, don’t be overacting Krys’, I told my self.

 

“Hey”

And my heart nearly stopped beating as I heard your voice. My neck felt so stiff that it was hard for me to turn around.

“H..hey… y..you’re here”, why did I stutter like you.

You looked at me with confused look, “do you have other schedule after the meeting with our managers?”

“N..Nah… why?”

“No… you just don’t usually put make up on to go to agency”

“Oh?”, I immediately rubbed my face. Stupid, you were right, why did I use make up we were only about to go to the agency anymay.

“W..well you don’t need to erase it, you look beautiful”

‘Don’t.Do.That.Amber don’t make me look stupid than I already do’, I mentally said. “Nah… I just bought new make up sets and…… I just tried them… Uhh… Shall we go now?”

“Sure”

You let me took my stuffs before we bid good bye to my mom. I felt you touched my waist as we walked toward your car. You opened the car door for me, I glanced at you, you smiled at me—not a dorky smile as usual—it was a sweet smile—it made me looked down—smiled like an idiot while tucked my hair on my ear. No one could ever make me like this, how could you make me like this Amber Liu. I had no idea about my feeling. I'm always confused when it's about my feeling for you. I just wanted to be with you, I just wanted to spend time with you, I just cared a lot about you, and I just wanted to enjoy our moment.

 

 

 

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The Clueless Person POV

 

Since the first day of our come back preparation, we often spent time together again, finally. How I missed a moment like this. We joked around with our members during the practice and recording time, after we finished practicing we would have dinner together. We usually went to my apartment, your house, or if the situation was good enough we would go to some restaurants. We might not realize it but we were getting intimate day by day. You showed your care and affection more than usual. Usually it would always be me who bought you food, asked if you were tired or thirsty. But lately you often bought me food, reminded me to eat well, you even wiped my sweat. I felt like I got a girl friend already. The funny thing was our members even realized it and sometimes they went ‘awww’ especially Luna and Sulli, seemed like they enjoyed ‘the show’.

“These two are just too cute”, Luna commented.

“Yaa Soojunga, can you not be obvious? Aigooo”, and Sulli often teased you.

I was actually happy about the fact, our members were really open minded, well, in a country like this I mean Korea, people mostly underestimate the ones who dressed androgyny and they didn’t accept androgynous relationship. I didn’t really like labeling, so I’ve never labeled our relationship; g*y, l*sbian, or h*mo, I honestly didn’t really care. No matter what our gender is, I just like you, well I might love you, and it’s good if you appreciate my feeling, that’s it.

 

“I’ll drive you home , Princess”, I said as we finished practicing.

“Uuhh… Am, my parents aren’t home, they are visiting my Dad’s best friend in Boston for few days, and Jess is touring again”

I raised my brows, “oh?”

“… I miss your dogs, can I sleepover in your apartment?”

“W..what? S…sure!”

 

I tried to be okay. Well few years ago we did sleepover for few times, but some things had changed. We were not ‘that’ innocent anymore. I had no idea if I was happy or uncertain. I was scared of my self, I hoped I wouldn’t do anything inappropriate. ‘Just be as normal as usual, Amber everything will be okay’, I mentally assured my self.

As we arrived in my apartment, you immediately played with my dogs while I prepared your pajama, well it was mine actually. You looked like a little kid in my pajama because it was too big for you. I laughed at you and you threw pillow at me while glared cutely, typical Jung.

We spent the night by having chit chat and bugging each others. You talked about your filming experience, the books you wanted to buy, and many random things. I like the fact that you always became very talkative when you were with me. You can’t be like this to anyone.

The night was getting quiet and you started yawning. Yes you’re a sleepyhead and I am an insomniac.

I tapped your head lightly, “It’s getting late, you should sleep”

“Mmm”, you slowly closed your eyes.

My bed was huge enough, but we were only few inches next to each other. I stared at your sleeping face. It was already 2 in the morning, I still couldn’t close my eyes because my eyes were busy staring at you oh I was such a creep cheesy person, yes I cursed my self for being that disgusting. How I adored you Krystal Jung.

 

The silent atmosphere brought me closer to you. I slowly closed my eyes with your scent around me.

 

I felt something snuggled to my chest when I opened my eyes. It felt way more comfortable than hugging a pillow doll. And the scent was very hypnotizing. What a comfortable morning, it made me lazy to get up so I hugged that snuggle thing tighter. Wait, pillows don’t snuggle. My eyes suddenly opened widelyas I realized it. I immediately glanced at the one I hugged. It was you, that was why it felt so comfortable. You were sleeping soundly in my arm. I didn’t make any single move, it felt so right for having you in my arm.

 

“…Am…”

It was suddenly hard to let my breath in and out. You were awake, but you didn’t change your position.

“What time will the practice start?”, you asked, your voice was still husky because you just woke up.

“… I… I think ten or nine… I … I’ll call our manager”

“…no… just do it later”

“O…okay”

My heart almost jumped when you put your arm around on my waist and pulled me closer to you.

“Can we stay like this for a moment?”, you said, still with husky voice.

I tightened my embrace, “sure”

 

We had no idea about what was happening. We just wanted to feel comfortable, we just wanted to enjoy the moment, we just wanted to do what our hearts wanted.

 

 

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Next Chapter: Flahsback: Can we stay like this or Can’t we?