The Confused Girl POV

I wanted you to know how much I loved you, I missed you. I just wanted you to know that no matter how many guys I had dated, you were still the one for me, you were the most comfortable place to lean on. I let you knew by spilling my feeling for you through the kiss. It was a gentle kiss that was full of the feeling of love and longing. Part of me said it was a stupid thing to do, part the other part of me felt relief. I hadn’t kissed you for such long time, but I had never forgotten the taste of your lips. 

You still looked dumbfounded when I broke the kiss. I put my palm on your cheek, caressed it a little, “see you tomorrow”, I said.

You needed few seconds before replied, “s…see you”

 

 

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The Clueless Person POV

 

Was it a dream? If it was a dream then it was the realist dream ever. I touched my lips—still felt disbelief—it wasn’t our first kiss but I even forgot when did the last time we kiss? And it wasn’t just about the kiss, but something you said before you kissed me, was it for real?

I couldn’t sleep and that was not good since we need to work hard and practice again on the next day for the concert preparation. Suddenly my boy—Jackjack—jumped onto my bed and came closer to me.

“She’s hard to read you know”, I said to Jackjack, “was it a confession or what? Hey buddy, it wasn’t dream was it?”

Jackjack stared at me lazily.

“I know, I know I know. I need an explanation… why do I sound like a high school girl who got molested by her boy friend? Well, I don’t care, but I need an explanation right?”

Jackjack just moved his ear.

“At least I wanna make sure if that was a dream or not”

 

Because those three words were like cursed magic words to you. You had avoided it since years ago, what made you said it to me? I didn’t know if I should be happy or confused, it bothered my mind. And I was a even more confused when I met you on the next day. We were practicing as usual, you were totally fine, like nothing happened yesterday. I really wanted to question you lots of questions about what happened yesterday, but I had no idea how should I start?

Break time had come, it was my chance to talk to you, so yeah, I finally encouraged my self to do it.

 “Krystal”

“Yes?”, you were tying your hair.

“Err… I…”

“Hm?”

“C…can we talk?”

“Sure”

“Err… it’s about… y..yesterd…”

“Ambo yaa”, suddenly Luna appeared, “is it your bottle?”,

“No, nope, take it”, I simply answered.

“Okayyy”, and finally the cheerful puppy walked away.

You looked at me—waited for me to continue what I was about to say.

“Uh… Krys…”

“Ddoodungaah~”, now Victoria jiejie’s turn, “here, you asked for this earlier didn’t you?”, she handed you a pack of tissue. She then sat next to us, watching us innocently.

“So what was it, Amber?”, you asked.

“Uh?”, I was so blank.

“You wanted to tell me something didn’t you?”

“Oh? Amber wants to tell something?”, Victoria looked clueless and innocent, “I’d better go, go kids, go on, sorry for interrupting I didn’t  know”, she tapped my back before left.

You raised your brows at me, “so?”

“Uh? Oh… I… I was about to ask you about…”

And suddenly our dancers came into the room.

“Guys, f(x) fansite sends food for us, look! Go get it hurry!”, J sshi—our dancer—said cheerfully.

I sighed. You glanced at me then giggled. I had goosebump when you leaned closer to me, “We’ll talk about it later”, you whispered at my ear, “come on let’s get the food”

 

Something was wrong with you, I could sense it. Were you okay? I couldn’t really think clearly seriously, I needed to talk with you. No, not in this studio, not again, too many people and I didn’t know why did they keep popping up in front of us.

“K..Krystal I’ll drive you home, I mean I’ll drive your car then I’ll skateboarding from your house to my apartment”, I said quickly when we finally finished the practice. I really needed to talk to you, I didn’t wanna you to go just like that without any explanation about what happened yesterday.

You thought for a moment, stared at me weirdly, “Hey, Am let’s drink”

“Drink?”

“Do you have some good drinks?”, you grabbed my wrist then pulled me to follow you toward your car.

“You mean liquor?”

“Yup”

“Yes I have some”

“Tomorrow is weekend so we don’t have schedule to practice, let’s drink together in your place shall we?”

“……………… sure……….”

I really had no idea what was on your mind. You could be very random sometimes but this time I sensed something really deep. I was sure then, I was sure that I didn’t dream last night, you really did say those words to me. You said you loved me, you loved me Jung Soojung.

You looked totally fine like nothing happened when we practiced at the agency, but as we got in the car, you totally changed. You were so silent. You kept staring outside through the window. You didn’t talk, something was bothering your mind. And so was I, I was so silent, I was busy with my own thoughts—figured out what actually happened between us.

You greeted my pets as we arrived in my apartment. And I just prepared what you wanted, the drinks of course, and some snacks. I decided to set guitar instrumental in my pc to accompany us.

You narrowed your eyes as you heard the music.

“Why? You don’t like it?”, I asked you as I put the liquor on the table—you were leaning on the sofa. I then handed you the glass.

“I like it”, you answered while straightened your body. You grabbed the glass I handed you, “I was just surprised that you know the music I want to listen at the moment”

“Really?”

You just smiled faintly.

I poured the liquor into our glasses, “Cheers”, I lifted my glass.

You did the same, “cheers”, you said.

Then we gulped our drinks. We didn’t talk again after we had our first gulp. We took the other gulps instead. I guessed we both had too many problems in our mind.

“Sometimes I wished you didn’t really understand me”, you started talking, “didn’t know what I want, didn’t know what I need”

I just listened.

You poured the liquor again and hit another gulp, “sometimes I want you to stop making me comfortable”, you looked at me, “sometimes I thought you really dived into my heart or my mind so that you know really well what I want and what I need. My ex boyfriends, they couldn’t make me feel that way. No one, Amber, no one…………but you”

“……… I’m sorry”

You smiled bitterly, “what for”, you said faintly. You took another shot, you didn’t drink this much usually, “I just want to be honest now, that’s all. I’m tired, Am, I’m tired of hiding what I feel for you”

I was a little bit surprised.

You let out deep sigh, “what I told you yesterday, that’s what I truly feel”

Even I didn’t show any reaction, but actually my heart was trembling as you said that.

“No, I’m not drunk yet, Amber. You may look cute when you’re drunk, but I’ll look more pathetic if I’m drunk, do you think so?”

“……n..no…”

“I am, Am. I’m so pathetic. Because I can’t really show my trully feeling, what makes me hard to show it, Am, I don’t know”

“…Krystal, it’s okay”

“I even could only tell you what I feel, but I can’t do more than that”, I could see shade of tears in your eyes, “I’m scared… you may hate me… because unlike the other girls who dared to love you and became your girl friend…I’m scared… I’m scared about what people think about us… I’m a loser, Amber. I don’t know what to do… this feeling keeps haunting… what should I do”

I pulled you into a hug. I placed your head on my chest, caressed it gently to comfort you, “I don’t hate you and I will never do”

You started sobbing. And we stayed like that until you calmed. I honestly had no idea how to overcome all of this. One thing I knew was I didn’t want you to get hurt. But what should I do, I couldn’t control your feeling, and I couldn’t make you hate me, I just couldn’t do that. I tried my best to think clearly, it must be hard for you to confess about what you truly felt, it’d be a waste if we had done all of this and still got no conclusion.

“Krys”, I pulled you away and held your shoulders, “listen to me, this problem isn’t new for both of us. And we’ve tried to get out of this problem, but we can’t”

You just stared at me.

“We’ve tried to stop,to forget about this feeling, we have tried to not being intimate, we even dated other people to forget about each other, but we can’t. It means we only have one way to make this feeling stop torturing us”

“… how?”

“………………………………… Be my girl, Krystal”

 

 

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The Confused Girl POV

 

“………………………………… Be my girl, Krystal”

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to this. I had no idea, I had no idea, Amber.

“There’s no way, Krystal. Our heart wants what it wants. The feeling won’t stop hunting before it gets what it wants. You said you love me, and I love you, why don’t we give it a try? Krystal, we’re not being insane, we’ve tried to be very rational and we have been using our logic, but this case can’t be overcome by logic, it won’t work”

I could understand everything you said, it did make sense. But I still wasn’t sure…

“Krystal, look at me”, you held my shoulders gently—you stared at me in the eyes, it was the deepest stare I had ever felt, “I love you, I dare to say I love you, I really do, Krys”, you cupped my cheek.

“…b…but… Amber I…”, I couldn’t say anything as you pressed your lips on mine—very gently—I could feel the desire of love within the kiss.

You finally broke the kiss. You put your forehead on mine—stared at me deeply, “be my girl, Krystal Jung”

“…but… but I’m scared…”

“We’re together, Krys, I won’t let people hurt you, I promise”

“………………………………………”

“I ask you once again, if you don’t answer me then it’s a no, and I won’t force you, it’s okay”, you caressed my hair, “Krystal, would you be my girlfriend?”

I couldn’t describe my feeling. I didn’t know what should I do. I couldn’t think, at all. I decided to close my eyes—tried to listen what my heart said.

And I……………………………………………………………… I nodded.

“Re… really?”

I opened my eyes and all I saw was you disbelief expression. I nodded again, “yes”

You pulled me into your hug. The hug felt so right, it felt like the most comfortable hug I had ever felt. I couldn’t help but let the tears flowed again.

 

 

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The Clueless Person POV

 

I never expected that we would get a relationship, as lovers, finally. What made me asked you to be my girlfriend was not because I fell in love insanely with you, if this feeling only tortured my self then I’d try my best to hide it, but I couldn’t let it happen to you. I couldn’t see you sad, I couldn’t you got tortured by your feeling too. And we had no choice, we should let our feelings get what they wanted.

It was late in the night so I decided to drive you home with my car—I planned to drop your car to your house on the next day. Thank God you looked a lot better than before. I promised my self to give you the best, I wouldn't let anyone hurt you.

“We’re here. Can I walk you till the main door?”

“No, Am, it’s okay. Look, the security guard is still there. Just go home, it’s too late”

“Okay”

You stared at me for a moment, “take care, Amber, bye”, you were about to get out of my car.

“Hey Krystal”

“Yes?”

“So………… are we now……”

Your face turned really red all of sudden, “Am”

“Why? I’m not even finished yet. I was about to say that you are now my…”

“Shut up”

“Waeee”

“Amber!”

“Okay………………”, I made the saddest face expression.

 “…………………Yaaa!”

“What?!”

“Stop making that face”

“You’re making me sad”

You rolled your eyes. Suddenly I felt a very soft peck on my cheek, “bye, Amber, take care. I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow”

 

 

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Next Chapter:

Present: Our Relationship Part II

Teaser:

“…and no photos on social media, got it?”

“Yeah”

“Look at my eyes and answer”

“Yes, my boba”

“Stop calling me boba”