[R] Mbakus: Here, We Meet Again.
~BUBBLY G.S~ (HIATUS/HIRING TRAILER MAKER)AUTHOR: MBAKUS STORY TITLE: HERE, WE MEET AGAIN.
Title (10/10): The title is good. It can captivate the attention of new viewers/readers.
Characterization (8/10): Your characterization is good overall. However you should try to show their personality through their actions more. The main and lead characters' characterization is well developed however while theirs is developed, others' characterization is underdeveloped so you should work on making that more balanced
Themes (8/10): I'm sure all of us can relate when someone we loved broke up with us and then we met him/her again. And those bittersweet feelings we all get. That part is something most of us can relate to. The rest is bit cliche. But that's why it's called fiction. The reason I gave you an 8 is because I wanted you to explain more (at least a flashback) how and why Byul left Solar. Not in just one sentence. That would also make your character abit more deep and developed. And I also wanted you to make it more slowpaced on how Solar became Byul's friend again.
Setting (9/10): The settings are good but you should work abit on how they got to the Jeju Island (not as much for Solar as for Byul).
Description and Foreword (9/10): It's very poetic and good. The reason you didn't get the full score is because of grammer mistakes.
Writing Style / Techniques (8/10): Your writing style is really good but can be improved by giving more backstory to characters, making longer conversation etc.
Presentation (9/10): Your poster/image is great. It's simple but can still draw attention of readers. Personally I would have liked you to go more into the details, but I didn't take you any points on that because you put enough details in the story for the flow of your story. But I'm sure if you added abit more details to your stories they would get richer and make the flow and plot better,smoother.
The reason you got a 9 is because you should somehow mark the flashbacks because it makes readers abit confused when they go to the next chapter and it's suddenly 7 ys aback. They will realize it's a flashback but they will still get confused.
Structure and Flow (7/10): Your flow is good however in some cases rushed. Your vocabular is also very wide and good. However your grammar is something you have to work on. When you edit your chapters pay close attention to tenses, pural and singular etc.
Plot (10/10): Plot is interesting, a bit cliche, but you make up for it with those bittersweet moments that makes your plot different. And you should feel proud for getting 10 points because plot is the most important part of the story. ^^
Overall Enjoyment (9/10): This story is quite enjoyable but at some points it's rushed (the forgiving part especially) and sometimes your grammar can make it a bit confusing.
Overall Score: 87/100
Overall Percentage: 87%
Reviewer's Note: I suggest you to find a beta reader if you want. I also want you to know that your story is good even for readers who aren't mamamoo fans (like me) and I think your grammar, writing style and everything will get better with more experience. I hope you are statisfied with my review.
Angle1004
| STORY | ANGEL1004 |
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