[R] Aigooagain: Don't Leave Me Again
~BUBBLY G.S~ (HIATUS/HIRING TRAILER MAKER)AUTHOR: AIGOOAGAIN STORY TITLE: DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN.
Title (3/10): First, the one thing that bothers me the most when it comes to titles is when the title is written in another language. For me, when I see a title written in another language I immediately think that the story is either a translation of the original story or the story is completely in that language. A lot of authors on this site have translated copy of their stories and sometimes they use the English description. Second your title is extremely cliché. Try to use something different and unique.
Characterization (5/10): Your characterization is strong and poor at the same time. You start with a weak characterization of Taeyeon. You focus a lot on the her past with the OC but nothing seems to make me want to agree with OC. From the looks of it, the OC looks rather extremely impatient. Tiffany is extremely flat. I wish you would try to expand on her that would give her some depth considering she will probably play an important factor.
Themes (7/10): Your theme of angst is lacking. You have a little bit of angst but not enough. The whole purpose of a theme is to carry it throughout the whole story.
Setting (10/10): It’s fine.
Description and Foreword (10/10): Good.
Writing Style / Techniques (5/10): Do you ever notice when you’re writing that you tend to spend more time focusing at certain details. Then suddenly you’ll write quickly through an important scene as if it’s not important at all. Also I understand that your first language isn’t English which I would advise to get a beta reader. I recommend this to almost every author and that it is an absolute must to have. Either that or put aside your chapter for a couple of days and forget about it. Then go back and review. Our minds don’t always pick up on mistakes when we continuously re-read the uncorrected version.
Presentation (5/10): There is no graphics which doesn’t attract readers.
Structure and Flow (5/10): You’re very choppy with your transitions which really disrupt the overall flow of the story. You also tend to go too slow with the development and then go to fast.
Plot (10/10): Your plot is developing well enough.
Overall Enjoyment (2/10): I couldn’t really get into this story. It wasn’t as interesting as I hoped it to be from the description and foreword.
Overall Score: 62/100
Overall Percentage: 62%
Reviewer's Note: In my opinion, your story is a need of a lot of improvement. The transitions are really distracting and the characters are rather shallow in development.
TheUnicornLady
| STORY | THEUNICORNLADY |
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