AUTHOR: CORRY_SS STORY TITLE: CRYING AND BEGGING.

Title (9/10): The title is very self-explanatory and definitely emanates a sense of angst and anguish the first time the audience would lay their eyes upon it. Although it is a reasonable decision, I feel as if because the title essentially delineates what your fiction is going to be revolving around, some readers are going to end up dismissing it. If you’re satisfied with the title because it basically highlights the theme of the story, then feel free to keep it. However, I think it’d be a better approach if you’d chosen a more mysterious and ambiguous heading to create a more gravitating effect.

Characterization (10/10): The characters were all formulated with excellence and I liked how they stayed true to their identity as well as their genuine feelings all throughout the story. It really radiated a vibe of purity as in, despite Jimin and Jungkook entering the idol world and Hayi aspiring to be a doctor, their dispositions didn’t really have a significant change and still cared for each other.

Themes (8/10): This section bewildered me a little bit. The theme blatantly is somewhere around the topic of friendship, transitioning to adulthood and having to relinquish your past, or romance but this is exactly the problem. There’s too many concepts presented in the story that could easily be considered as the salient theme and it’s not like other stories where some messages outshine the others for in your narrative, there was a conspicuous balance within just about everything and it bothered me a little bit.

Setting (8/10): First of all, I’d like to pinpoint out that the settings you had chosen were very fitting for their specific scenes yet however, it seemed that with all the different scenarios included in the story came a gallimaufry of times and places. There was the dorm, the hospital, the street, and more . . . and it was just relatively itinerant and although I completely understand that they may have been necessary for the moments you had in mind, I feel like you could’ve reduced them a little bit.

Description and Foreword (10/10): I really don’t feel it’s a requirement to elaborate too much about this aspect because your description was simply flawless. I admired how you were rather laconic with your words yet still managed to express the meaning of your story as well as the fact that you refrained from generalizing extensively and vaguely introduced the characters. It also seemed as if such notions would likely swirl around Hayi’s mind as she’s undoubtedly the character that was dominantly affected by the changing.

Writing Style / Techniques (9/10): Like with the description, your writing style was sheathed with succinctness but what I was impressed with was the fact that you still had the capability to convey an evocative sense to the readers. It’s a rare quality when it comes to authors (even the professional ones with published books still suffer from spilling too much words on the page) and you should treasure that. Furthermore, something about your writing strategy reminds me of when I’m reading an actual paperback especially with all the proper indentations and the dialogues so kudos to you with that!

Presentation (9/10): The way you presented your fanfiction to the eyes of the public wasn’t problematic at all and I really wasn’t bothered by anything―the posters were captivating, the layout of the story wasn’t haphazardly scattered around, and there weren’t any colors or other little quirks that played as distractions. However, I’d like to point out that the font size was something that troubled me a little for the letters were too diminutive and I needed to squint at the screen for it to be legible. The font, on the other hand, was a nice touch.

Structure and Flow (7/10): As I’ve mentioned earlier, the story seems to be rather peripatetic which could really be distracting for many readers especially when there isn’t that many smooth transitions to different scenes. The way you incorporated the flashback, the debut date, and the present day was great because it enhances enlightenment and for the audiences to better comprehend the reason for such situations and emotions to emerge. There was a point time when I felt as if some circumstances just didn’t make sense and I felt too overwhelmed having to face that such thing was happening (such as when Jungkook was ran over or when Jungkook confessed his feelings towards Hayi) because there wasn’t any foreshadowing in earlier events and it would be really helpful if there were. Perhaps, it’s a little difficult to provide background stories and explanations concerning certain events because the story is exclusively a one-shot and it’d be more convenient if it was longer. However, it’d be great to see some slight amendments into that.

Plot (8/10): Holistically, the plot of the story was just a perfect blend of melancholy and realism and I could imagine at least several celebrities in the Korean industry (or just idols in general) to experience such situation in their lives. To have to choose between friendship or pursuing their dreams and to find themselves involve in a controversy with other celebrities. . . it’s a very practical story. Nevertheless, the fact that some occurrences were just too abrupt such as Jungkook’s collision or the prominent actress Sungkyung obtaining ually Transmitted Infection and so many others never failed to shock me. Maybe, you had wanted that effect from the readers then you had gotten it but if I was to give a piece of advice, there should be some consideration taken into that component of the story as well because most audiences will probably drown in perplexity and disbelief.

Overall Enjoyment (7/10): Your story was an enjoyable read! It’s been a long time since I’ve decided to read angsty stories because I really don’t feel like voluntarily drowning in my own tears lately (although I didn’t cry on this one so good job to me!) but your story was very poignant. For the most part, it was a realistic depiction of what idols would be going through before stepping into the paths they’re willing to take and it’s really saddening. I look forward to reading more of your works in the future!

Overall Score: 85/100
Overall Percentage: 85%
Reviewer's Note: Hi! I’d like to say that I’m really, really, extremely sorry for this late review but too many situations have been happening and since school is already back for me, I decided to quickly finish up this review. I hope it reaches your expectations and hope you have a good day!
Thunderingexo

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