AUTHOR: Pcys_legal_wife STORY TITLE: MESSAGES.

Title (05/10): Although the title does match the whole story, it’s plain and bit boring. There’s nothing unique about it really.

Characterization (05/10): All of your characters lack density. Every one of them is a flat and there’s not really a development of the story. It’s sad because I think this story could really be a good one to develop your characters considering it has to do with love.

Themes (10/10): I think you did a good job at keeping your theme throughout the story considering that you seemed to have written these chapters on a whim.

Setting (00/10): You don’t really have a setting. You don’t take anytime to say where the characters are at the beginning and you make weak indications in some chapters. It may seem such a tedious little task but from being in school to lying on his bed is a pretty fast transit. Unless Baekhyun is some superhuman like Superman who can go to one place in a matter of seconds, there’s no way he would be able to get home so quickly.

Description and Foreword (05/10): I took off half points for the grammatical mistakes.

Writing Style / Techniques (02/10): I think your style is very basic compared to an English writer but compared to others whose first language is not English; you’re very consistent and are slowly developing your own unique techniques and writing style. However I must stress that you have to get either a beta reader or write in word. I tend to cringe when I see so many mistakes like misspellings, incomplete sentences, extra commas, etc. Too many grammatical errors can really ruin the reader’s enjoyment of the story.

Presentation (07/10): Very, very colorful. I find that the eye popping cover really matches the whole theme of the story. However the background is a bit distracting while reading. It gets a little too loud. Also I’m not a fan of the whole “texting” format.

Structure and Flow (00/10): I can tell you wrote these chapters as you go. Your flow is rather either too fast or too slow. One moment you have Baekhyun going on what seems like forever texting back and forth with Chanyeol and then suddenly you have everything reeling like it’s a race. It goes so fast it’s hard to keep track of what exactly is going on and how the boys are feeling. Therefore this gives no consistency in the flow which I conclude that there is no flow. As for your structure, there unfortunately is no structure either from what I read. This is rather disappointing with a sweet storyline like this.

Plot (03/10): I thought this had to be the cutest plot I have seen in a long time but I feel as if it is incomplete and a bit stereotypical of the romance storyline. You’re missing development of your characters and don’t build up your events at all. Those two issues are what are causing plot holes in your entire storyline.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10): I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I think it’s a nice storyline to read that would put a smile on any reader’s face.

Overall Score: 47/100
Overall Percentage: 47%
Reviewer's Note: I have only two things that I recommend. First thicken your characters and plot. Second, get a beta reader.
THEUNICORNLADY

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