"How's the new song going?" My manager, Jackson Wang, asked me, pretty much barging into my apartment, early morning, maybe eight o'clock.

I looked at him through my big, square, thick black framed glasses, glaring at him. Then I looked back down at the music sheets in front of me, attempting to figure out this new song myself. "It's going, I guess."

"You know, for the months I've actually known you, I'm still amazed at how great your English is."

"Don't ing change the subject." I snapped, taking my glasses off. I let out a sigh. I should just call Chanyeol... I slipped my phone out of my pocket, dialing his number.

It rang quite a few times. Then, "Why are you calling me and not your boyfriend?"

I laughed. "Ha ha. I need yours or Yixing's help. Hell, Baekhyun even."

"I'm listening."

"There's this song I'm writing right now, and I just need your thoughts on the composition and the lyrics."

"Send a photo of the composition, and send the lyrics through text. I can look at them with the others." He was quiet for a couple seconds. Then I heard that slight smirk on his voice. "Your boyfriend is right in front of me, right now. Wanna talk to him?"

I smiled. "I must be the worst boyfriend if I say no."

I heard the phone transition, and Jongin's voice came over the phone. "Hey, you're up early today."

"I'd like to finish this goddamn song, supposedly for my next Christmas album, yet it's July."

"Doesn't hurt to get it done ahead of time, right?" He was smiling, I could tell.

"Yeah, you're right. You mind looking at it, too?"

"I love you too much to say no, Soo."

I blushed. "Tell me what exactly I did to deserve a boyfriend like you."

The sound of his laugh filled the phone. God, did I miss that laugh. "You deserve me, period. You did nothing but be you."

"Corny."

"You make me corny, babe."

"Yeah yeah, I gotta go. Must send the song for you all to look at."

"Yes, do that." He hesitated. "Miss you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Miss you more. Love you."

"Miss you most." That cause a smile to rise in my face. "I love you too. Never forget that, okay?"

I nodded, not realizing a tear falling down my cheek, and sniffling. "Yeah."

"Hey. We'll be together soon. I promise you, Soo. Don't ever doubt that. Don't cry, it'll make me cry too."

"I know. I'll talk to you later."

He hummed. " 'kay. Love you, Soo."

"Love you too." With that, we hung up, and tears were rolling down my pale cheeks. I felt Jackson's gaze on me. He knew I had Jongin back in Korea. And he was all supportive, because he also had a relationship with my talent scout, Mark Tuan. Quite the coincidence. Mark was traveled a lot, since he had to find people to become stars in the entertainment company. In that way, we understood each other. Otherwise, I was just always yelling at him for no reason, most of the time. But it was a good sign that he was a good person.

I took a photo of the music sheets, and sent through text the lyrics to the song to Chanyeol.

|•~•||•~•||•~•|

It is barren of any spec of light. This darkness holds out its arms and wishes to welcome you into itself. It's always so very tempting, and so very easy, to embrace that darkness, and grasp on to it. And only one thing, that greatly affects you, hurts you, can make it appear, and you let it consume you.

The thing is, once you touch it, once you welcome it into your arms, you can't get rid of it. Or, more over, it's difficult to get rid of it.

I've fallen into that darkness, and I struggled to let it go. I saw it, I gave into temptation. Now, the world around me has disappeared. Shadows were all I seemed to see. Only nightmares would come at night. I couldn't even bring myself to video call Jongin, every time I awoke from my slumber, crying and rocking myself back and forth. I missed him. I missed seeing him in person. I missed holding his hand. I missed kissing him. I missed cuddling with him and falling asleep in his arms. I missed Jongin. He wasn't there to comfort me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, anymore.

I tried to pour my heart into my music. But it was so hard to. It was becoming harder and harder to sing. Then harder to speak. Then harder to see anyone. Then...harder to breathe.

I became succumbed to the darkness. I was so numb.

How could I put everything in my music, when I felt like everything had been stolen from me?

end~

no, it doesn't just end like this, I have a sequel too and I'll post it here soon ;)