She had just done the single, most outrageous thing in her seventeen years of existence. Her heart is threatening to explode, her mind is on the verge of going bonkers and she has a deep, desperate need to scream her lungs out. But Miyoung does none of that. Instead, she maintains her composure, signals Lim Dayu and mounts her horse with his help.

“Rong Rong Wang Zi, my precious, ja.” Her handsome white horse sets off at a comfortable pace and soon, they are back at the stable. She dismounts and gives Taenggu a cursory nod before leaving for her room. Lim Dayu is looking at her strangely but she is beyond caring at this moment. She wants to find a quiet place to think. She has to think.

The atmosphere was to blame. Those peach blossom flowers hanging overhead. The sound of water flowing over rocks in the river. The cool breeze brushing past her skin. The horses harrumphing away at the side. Alright, to be fair, she had already planned to say those things so the atmosphere was not at fault. But being there, at that time, hidden from view, gave her courage that she would not have had to kiss Taenggu otherwise. And now, she is left to face the consequences of spilling her guts out to Taenggu. What would Taenggu think of her now? What will Taenggu do? What will Taenggu say?

She heads to the study and sits at the calligraphy table. One of the literature books she likes is on it. She flips to a famous poem written by a well-known writer and reads.

“To this world, what is love? That one would barter life and death for it.”

Miyoung had never pondered much over this quote, but in her current circumstances, it seems to be the million tael question. What exactly is love and how far is she willing to go for it? Picking up a calligraphy brush, she dips it in ink and writes the word that is on her mind.

Love. She looks at it for a while, then adds one more word.

Her. Love her. She never thought it would be a feminine form of the word. She had always assumed it would be a him. And in reality, she had truly fallen, thinking she was a him. Yet, knowing that Taenggu is really a her did not stop her heart from swelling when she saw Taenggu again; knowing the truth did not change the turn her feelings took when Taenggu appeared before her again. She had thought that kissing Taenggu would resolve her confusion, it has not. Perhaps, it is because Taenggu still looks like a man. A short, weak, stubble-free man but a man nonetheless. If Taenggu were to wear clothes meant for a lady and look like a female, would she still feel attracted to her?

With so many questions in her mind, Miyoung knows that she has to have the talk with Taenggu but for some reason, she simply cannot find a good time for it. Mornings are taken up by Soonkyu’s portrait; afternoons are taken up by more Taenggu painting or her lessons in literature and medicine; evenings are not suitable because her brother has been having dinner with Taenggu and they tend to play some chess after that. That leaves the dead of the night but Miyoung is not confident she can sneak in without getting caught again. So the next chance she has only arrives two days later. It will have to be the horses again and Lim Dayu will be the messenger.

=

When Miyoung sits down for dinner that day, she learns that a new horse has arrived in the stables. His name is Hei Jiang Jun. He is difficult to break in, according to the stable hands, but he is a black beauty and very strong. Her father had insisted on buying him against the advice of his chief stable hand, Kang Houcheng, because of his pristine pedigree and his strange penchant for females and dislike for males. Hei Jiang Jun would kick and rear up on his hind legs when a man approaches but send a woman to him and he would be docile as a lamb. Her father had laughed about it over dinner while Lim Dayu discreetly shook his head. Evidently, her father’s source of amusement was the cause of distress for his stable hands and Lim Dayu did not approve. But Lim Dayu would never go against her father’s wishes, or voice his critical thoughts. He was raised in the Hwang estate and is intensely loyal to the Hwangs, especially her father.

Miyoung has known Lim Dayu for most of her life and she trusts him to keep a secret. So a plan formed in her mind as her father talked about Hei Jiang Jun and she is determined to execute it with his help.

=

Taenggu is more nervous than ever. She had not been able to find a chance to talk to Miyoung for the past two days but this afternoon, she has been invited to go horse riding with the young mistress once again. She has not slept well for the past two nights and it has affected the portrait’s progress. More than once she wondered if this was part of Miyoung’s plan to keep her in the estate longer but she has to admit that speculation is over the top. She is becoming paranoid and she does not like it one bit.

In a way, it is probably a good thing to have a chance to talk to Miyoung privately. She has not found the courage to confess the latest development to her brother and having to keep everything to herself is taking a toll on her stress levels. Perhaps, after today, she will finally know what Miyoung wants with her.

A handsome black horse is awaiting when she arrives at the stables with Lim Dayu. He had warned her about the horse on the way to the stables and each step she takes towards the horse feels like a step closer to hell.

“Hei Jiang Jun will be difficult to mount,” said Lim Dayu after describing the terror that is the majestic black horse. “But I will help you as much as I can. And I’m sorry, Young Mistress Hwang insists