Seohyun has been in a relationship with Jongin for five years. They meet when they were in college and immediately fall in love. They moved in together shortly after graduation and had been living pretty well, at least that was Seohyun wants to think.

Jongin came back home very late last night. Again. Wasted. Again. Smelling like a mixture alcohol and some women’s perfume that wasn’t Seohyun’s.

It’s been like that for almost three months now.

She sighs as she checked the clothes of Jongin.  There was some mark of make-up mostly in his plain button shirts he used for work. She tries to erase the image of ugly marks she saw on Jongin’s neck last night. She immediately put everything in the washing machine. She should be used of all this by now. But she wasn’t... She can’t…

She calms herself as she sits down in front of her vanity.

Looking at her reflection with sad eyes, she can’t help to question herself.

Seohyun is a beautiful young woman. Adore by many.

What happen now? She bitterly asked the one staring at her. You used to be full of life and happy. She continually stares pathetically at the mirror. I thought you were smart?  

She has an impressive resume to brag. But it wasn’t Seohyun who do all the bragging it was Jongin who always show off how perfect his girlfriend is. Seohyun doesn’t want to think about it much but Jongin seem like there’s a need to prove himself all the time. From the designer clothes he wears, to the colour of his ties, to people he carefully choose to hang out with, to the places he goes, it always need to have to be luxurious and branded.

Maybe they are right she’s a trophy girlfriend after all.

Some maybe wondering what’s taking them long to get married. When Seohyun walk out of her parents house to be with the man she loved, she talked to Jongin about not getting married until they have the blessing of both families.

As an only child, her family wants the best for their daughter. They knew about the Kims hostility towards Seohyun. Who wouldn’t be? She has a simple and ordinary upbringing, goes to the best school and university through scholarship, her father works as a regular employee while her mother is a plain housewife. For the Kims it wasn’t the best reputation they want to gloat around. There was a time Jongin’s father personally came to visit Seohyun’s father at his job. He scolded and threatens him that Seohyun should stay away from his son if he wants the best for his precious daughter. But Seohyun was so deeply in love.

The Kims, Jongin’s family are affluent and well-off. They showered Jongin with all the materials he ever needed and so much more. At some point she can’t blame Jongin for liking beautiful and pricey things, he grew up that way.

Jongin has his fair share of suffering as well and she’s well aware of that. One of the few reason why she hadn’t walked out of the door yet. Since they move in together Jongin was dismiss in his position in their company. His grandfather told him to start from the bottom. Jongin wasn’t too happy but at least they did not disown him for choosing Seohyun over his own family. For quite some time the tan man was forced to live simply with the love of his life.

Since then Jongin has a lot to prove. He worked hard. Harder than any of their employees. Seohyun witness it all. How Jongin crawl to where he is now. Still he hasn’t gained his grandfather and father’s approval.

After college Seohyun worked for over a year to help Jongin with the expenses. After Jongin’s progress in the company he advised Seohyun to stay home and just take care of their apartment and him. For a very long time all Seohyun knew was to take care of Jongin and their ‘home’.

When did it all start to fall apart?

She remembers when Jongin comes home early a few months ago. He has this contagious smile and re-newed spirit around him.

“Hey Hyun!” Jongin said as he make his way to her. She was tending their small pocket garden that Seohyun insisted when they moved in.

“Someone’s happy?” Seohyun said as she take off her gloves. He gave her a peck on the cheek.

Seohyun smile at her boyfriend.

“Hyun, do you remember that huge deal I’ve wanted to get hold of?”

“Umm… yeah. I remember you being extremely PMS while doing that report.” Seohyun said playfully crossing her arms.

“Well sorry babe. But you know they’ve chosen me to handle it. Dad personally asked me earlier today.” Jongin said happily.

“Imagine if I can close this one I’m going to get that promotion I always wanted.” Jongin said dreamily. That glint in his eyes is something Seohyun will forever remember.

“You keep saying that. Even on your last promotion…” Seohyun state. Typical Jongin, he doesn’t really put limit on anything. Jongin has always been ambitious young man.

“But this time it’s for real. I promise you.  Once I get that promotion I swear we’ll have a vacation somewhere private. I’m thinking of an exotic island somewhere in the west. Just the two of us.” Jongin told her with those hopeful and loving gaze.

Two of us.

huh. Funny coz she isn’t one of ‘us’ now.

Someone might ask her why she keeps this charade for so long when it’s evident Jongin was playing fire on her back. There are things you have to accept with both eyes closed. How can she throw away the blissful five years they have? Maybe it was her. Maybe she’s at fault here. In those five years Jongin has been the perfect gentleman always respecting her as his top priority. Yes, in all those years that they’ve been together they never become one.  Seohyun believe in the holy matrimony. after marriage. And she thought she found a perfect partner in Jongin. But breathing together and living together wasn’t enough. Jongin is a man with needs. Needs that she herself isn’t sure she can provide. At the back of her head she knows this relationship is far from saving.

Till when you want to suffer like this? Till I can no longer endure the pain? she thought sadly.