~어쩌다 내가 널 사랑했을까
밀어내려 해도
내 가슴이 널 알아봤을까~

January 2015

“SUNBAE!”

           Was the last thing I heard. When I opened my eyes again, I was at the hospital. Everything happened before her yell is still a blur to me. I don’t remember much, but according to the hospital records, my ribs and left leg were damaged and I was unconscious for two weeks. And according to the only person I remember from everyone who visited me, I hit my head on the ground when I slipped before the rock fell on me.

“Salute!” And there she was, once again, standing in front of my bed. She kept her position making me feel somewhat uncomfortable, yet my distant memory told me she has always addressed me this way. So, I stood up and did the same gesture. “Kim Iseul Sowi,” She called my name like she’s announcing something, “After three weeks of staying in the hospital, the doctor announced that you will be discharged today. Captain Jeong announced you’re off duty for the next eight weeks. Salute.” She reported and I nodded, and finally, she stood at ease.

“Did you have to speak so loud? We’re at the hospital.” I said, and I noticed a slight smile.

“That’s how any soldier would report to their superior.” She said as she helped me with my bag.

“Umm… Hwayoung-ah?” I called her by her name and the girl turned to me with a stunned look as if this was the first time I called her by her name.  

“Ye-ye, Sunbae-nim?” She stuttered.

“Where do I live?” I asked, and her eyes widened.

“Of course you live with-” She paused midway and stared at me. “You don’t remember?” She asked like she’s filming a slow-motion movie scene, and I shook my head. Suddenly, she put the bag back on to the bed and ran out of the ward. I let out a sigh and waited patiently.

    While I waited, I took out my wallet from the bag and looked through it. There were couple of cards, two pictures, and some coins. For the past few days, all I have been doing is trying to figure out who these people were. One photo was of a guy - a soldier - with black short hair, small eyes and full lips. He must be a captain too, I thought, because of the insignia that was attached to his uniform. And the other photo was a group photo with nine girls; one was me, one was Hwayoung, and the rest were a mystery.

“Kim Iseul-nim,” I stuffed the photos back into my wallet and looked up. “The doctor wants to see you.” She said as she let out a smile.

“Sure.” I said as I took my bag and followed her.

    As I walked towards the doctor’s office, I saw Hwayoung with another female soldier. When they saw me from afar, Hwayoung wiped her tears and forced a smile. As I passed them, they both stood in attention and saluted me. I nodded and kept walking.

“Excuse me, what’s wrong with me?” I asked the nurse, and she looked at me and smiled.

“According to your medical reports, everything is fine.”

“Then why is she-” I stopped myself.

“If you have any questions, I think the doctor can help you better than me.” She smiled.

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