I still can’t believe what happen to me and Myungsoo. It’s all like a dream. It’s been 3 weeks since our first kiss. Since then we would sneak out and meet somewhere no one would found out and we will talk, make out and fool around. I’m happy, yes. A boy I’ve crushed on now with me.

Sometime in school, we will secretly touch each other when no one saw. Even I feel bad for Sungyu and Sungjong since I keep it secret from them, but this is what Myungsoo want.

No one to know our little dirty secret. Myungsoo and I didn’t go far from kissing, as I’m still not ready for it and Myungsoo also says that we have to wait. I don’t mind actually.

That night, Myungsoo asks to meet me at abandon park that no one comes anymore. I agree and wait for him. He comes a moment later, patting.

He has sweat down on his neck and he looks y as hell. I gulp and calm down my hormones. He wore a black hoodie and a short with a pair of white sneaker.

“Hey.” He said and smile at me. I smile back and just stand there as he walks to me.

“Hey, there handsome.” I flirt with him. He laughs and kisses me. I kiss him back and moan when he bite my lower lips. I could feel he smirk when we kiss.

“Myungsoo. Wait.” I said. Push him a little.

“Hmm.”

“Who’s that girl I saw you within music room?” I ask as he tries to kiss me back.

“Ah… She just trying to confess to me Sungyeol.” Then he gives me a light kiss.

“Are you accept him?” I ask cautiously.

“No Sungyeol.”

“Why? Did you kiss her?”

“I’m kissing you Sungyeol and no one has I kiss like I kiss you.” He said and kiss me again.

“Really?” I ask.

“Yes. Now just shut up and let me kiss you.” He said jokingly and push me a little, makes my back against the gate of the park. He kisses me senseless. He really takes my breath away.

Then suddenly, we hear a sound from a bush and Myungsoo immediately push Sungyeol away.

“Who’s that?” Myungsoo asks. I can hear afraid in his voice. Then suddenly we saw someone running from faster behind the bush and disappear in the dark.

“Omg! ! ! What the !” he curses and kicks the stone that was in front of him. I slowly walk toward him and touch his shoulder. He flinches and pushes my hand away.

“Don’t” he warn me.

“Myungsoo calm down.” I try again but he just pushes me.

“No! You don’t understand Sungyeol.” I try to calm him down.

“What if someone saw us and told other.” He already panics and he grabs his hair in frustrated.

“Myungsoo, please.”

“How could I let you do this to me.” He said and back away from me.

“I didn’t do anything Myungsoo. This is what we want.” I try to coax him. He pushes me again when I try to grab his hand.

“I’m not like you Sungyeol! I don’t have a supportive family. My family is the biggest homophobia!” He yells at me. “I can’t let people laughing at me, pointing at me for being gay! I could lose all this Sungyeol and I don’t wait for it to happen. Why did you have to come in my life? Why!” He now crying. “I’m not like you Sungyeol and I would never be.”

“Myungsoo please, listen to me.” I try again.

“Are you kidding me? Just stop. Get off me!” He continues back away I try to touch him once again.

“Myungsoo please, don’t do this.” Now I already mess with my own tears. I sob uncontrollably.

“We’re done Sungyeol. It over. Just get lose.” He says slowly and turns around. I walk away slowly and turn around one more time before wipe my tears and disappear from the park. I crying along the way to my house.

I open the door to my house and unlock it. I step inside and close it slowly, then I saw my mom. I then cry when she began to hug me with a question. She continues rubs my back and holds me tightly.

“What happens, son?” She asks after I calm down after a moment.

I told everything to my mom from the moment I meet Myungsoo until what happens tonight. She just sits there with me entirely night listen to me. She already knows about me being gay and she accepts me for who I am and she really supportive of me. I’m glad she did.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry son.” She held me when I finished and cry my heart out again. That’s a night he held me until I fall into sleep.

That morning, I woke up feeling horrible. My mom already in the kitchen, prepared breakfast for us. I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. My eyes were puffy from crying all night.

My hair sticks in all direction. I wash my face, brush my teeth and then I step into the shower. After done, I came down and greet my mother in the kitchen.

“How are you feeling honey?” My mom kisses my cheeks and I kiss her back.

“Horrible mom,” I answer and groan.

“Why don’t you stay home today?”

“It’s okay mom, I can’t hide forever,” I answer and smile at her.

“Are you sure honey? You know, I’m always here when you need me.” I hug my mom one more time before going to school with Sungyu and Sungjong. I know they notice my puffy eyes but choose to ignore it. But I know soon or later he will ask me.

I began to put my book that I don’t need in my locker and closed it. I saw Myungsoo walk into the school and he lock his eyes with me. He then looks away and suddenly Saera, a cheerleader of our soccer club come and hug Myungsoo.

He then kisses Saera on the cheeks while his eyes look at me emotionless. I feel like want to break down on the floor but choose not too and run to the nearby toilet.

I bang on the door and lock it. I cry and cry until I can feel my tears drop anymore. I get out of the stall and began washing my face. I open the door and makes my way toward my class which just finished the first class.

The next class is English and I just straight to my desk, sit down and put my head on the desk before drifting to sleep and I’ve been sleeping, the entire class. I woke up when it’s lunchtime when ring bell disturbs my sleep.