I definitely over tipped the cab driver, I could tell by how fast he had drove away as he was clearly afraid that I was going to turn around and ask for my change, I swear I heard him celebrating though. It isn’t as if I really cared, what was I going to spend with that money anyway? 

The crickets chirped loudly within the shrubbery that surrounded the High School, I just let out a soft sigh and walked up the pathway, taking the side entrance that had a staircase which would eventually lead up to the dorm rooms. As I opened the door the scent of the school almost overwhelmed me - It was the scent of all the creatures in the building hitting me at once, I swear I was not able to detect this before, or maybe I was to oblivious.

I made my way up the stairs silently, knowing that the majority of the school would be asleep - how considerate of me! I chuckled to myself as I slid into the door on the 4th level, taking a moment to try and remember my dorm number, then I realised I didn't need to - Suki always left a protection charm on the door handle. I easily spotted the dim blue glow from one of the corner rooms, I practically pranced toward it, throwing myself into the room without a second thought, I pressed my back to the door to close it. 

My breathing was ragged with slight excitement as I saw her sleeping in her bed, I went and lit all the candles around the room with my finger, trying to focus on Suki and nothing else, I feared that I would end up...crying. With that I sat on the edge of her bed and slightly moved her shoulder to try and stir her, she grumbled for a moment, her hand lashing out to bat me away, but as her hand touched my skin she gasped and shot up in her bed as if she had been electrified. 

“H-Haru…?” 

I saw her flick her wrist slightly and the light on her bed side table came on, before I could get out a word she flung her arms around me, bringing me in for a hug that I was not expecting, my fingertips buzzed slightly as I gingerly pat her shoulder “I have missed you so much, why are you here? I mean I know why - only because I developed my powers I can see the past when I touch someone, but I’d prefer to hear context as I only see snippets” 

I bit my lip and leaned away from her, she did not hold a smile upon her porcelain face this time around “Well -” I sat staring out of the window whilst I explained what happened with Chanyeol’s father, then what was whispered to me which had led me here originally, I then paused for a moment as I knew she expected more out of me as I guessed that wasn't all she had seen.

I twiddled my thumbs awkwardly as she went to touch my shoddy hair, a soft sigh exited her lips - to which I proceeded to close my eyes “I uhm, saw him in a club he was getting drunk because he felt guilt for what he did but I know that it was just him not understanding his new powers, there was a woman there, touching his leg” I swallowed audibly, my heart felt as if it was trying to digest smashed glass and in the process was scraping slowly across its surface, it felt as if someone had crumpled up my strength, spat on it and threw it to the floor - I felt as if nothing much mattered the more I thought about tonight's events. Dark clouds swarm my brain, stopping me from realising that tears had been silently strolling down my face and dripping down onto my blood stained shirt. This excruciating pain, this urge to scream at the ground in anguish whilst my heart was being ripped out right in front of me - was I experiencing heartbreak?

“I-I left him, on the side of the road and..and..” Before I could finish my sentence I broke out into a soft sob, almost being able to feel my heart bleeding from the cuts that he had left, the noises coming from me were strange - foreign. It was like a sad hiccup that kept coming from my downturned mouth, along with the stream of tears that refused to halt, trying to stop myself from doing this only seemed to make it worse, all I could do was sit there and let Suki my sore head whilst my heart throbbed miserably.

Somehow Chanyeol had caused this grief, I didn’t think I felt so much toward him - I didn’t know what it was like to lose someone.

I've never had a someone. 

Eventually I quietened down - not needing any words for comfort, Suki lay me on her bed and began wiping my tears, only then did exhaustion actually crash down on me like a wave - It was next to impossible to keep my eyes open. Who would have guessed crying would take so much out of a person? Suki was saying something to me but I was too far into my unconsciousness that It was nothing but a soft hum.

I fell asleep with a truly aching heart, this heartbreak is a certain type of grief that comes in waves, it is truly gruelling. I can only describe it as a shard in my guts that never seemed to leave even in my sleep, though perhaps in time the edges will dull. It feels like death just the same as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from my body and short circuits my mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love I put my everything into. 

I feel just like I did in hell. 

But even then my everything was never good enough. 

-v-

“Won’t you talk to me at least? I can’t see why you would come back here if you were just going to sit in silence” Suki mumbles to me as she gently combs through my hair and cuts it into a proper shape so it does not look like it was caught in a fan and ripped off, I just stared at the carpet and winced occasionally when she would spray something into my hair that would irritate my scalp. In my sleep she had managed to put ointment on the scabs, I scowled as I thought how he must have healed me at the last minute, she allowed me to borrow some of her clothes - I regretted not bringing my own.

I was wearing a white jumper with roses embroidered into the sleeves, along with a pair of black leggings - So simple, but it was the only thing that was baggy enough so it would not rub on my scabs “I know how you feel” She whispers softly as she lays down the comb and comes to sit in front of me, putting her hand over where my heart would be “I may look innocent but I have had a situation like this in the past - I understand more than you think” 

I press my lips and glance into the small mirror she had leaned up against the drawers, I saw that she had made it so the hair sat nicely just above my shoulders, I pushed my hair gingerly away from my face - aware of the pain in my body once again, I frowned at her comment “How...How long does the aching take to go away?” I asked in a low tone, noticing that she was over at her herbal draw, she began crushing something up in a small bowl.

“Depends on how much you love him doesn't it?” She paused for a moment, looking over and presenting me with a smile “I am very… proud of you for not becoming angry over this or acting out in anguish with your abilities”

I raised my eyebrow at her, but then understood that she would have saw what I did to the hotel room “I am too numb to even express anger right now Suki” I breathed softly and rubbed my cheeks in a circular motion “This will only make me stronger, being hurt like this by leaving him only proved to myself that I had an irrational attachment to-”

“No” Suki abruptly places the small bowl on her table “No no!” She turns to me again with her furious blue eyes glimmering, her earings jingling softly in the short silence “That is your exact problem Haru, the more you disconnect yourself from ‘human’ emotions the more you prove your mother right!” She crouches on the floor to get to my level