CHAPTER XXXIX

CONFESSION

Jessica Jung woke up that morning feeling fresh and light. She glanced at her digital alarm clock on her bedside table and saw that she woke up just five minutes early. The blonde girl turned off her alarm and drank a glass of water next to the alarm which she always prepared before going to bed. After wetting with fresh water she picked herself up and stood in front of the mirror and fixed her hair. After she was satisfied with her morning look she went outside her bedroom and walked across to her little sister bedroom. Soojung’s door was open, like always, since the cute little girl was still scared of the dark. The blue eyed girl peeked inside and found her baby sister was still sleeping, hiding her whole body underneath her thick light blue comfy blanket.

Jessica smiled and walked towards Krystal’s bed and sat next to her head. Her smile grew even bigger when she could see Soojung’s hair sticking out from under her blanket.

“Sooujung-ah,” She said gently as she patted the little girl’s head. “Wake up, it’s morning…”

But her little sister showed no sign of waking up, and she knew she had to try harder.

“Soojung-ah…” She sang her name as she leaned closer. “If you don’t wake up I’m going to tickle you…”

Jessie could see some movement under the blanket, and she knew her little sister had already woken up the first time she called her, but decided to pretend she was still sleeping, like she always did every time her older sister came into her room to wake her up. And tickling the little girl was always Jessica’s cute and funny way to wake her up. She never tickled on the same spot, though, and so Krystal had to guessed where her dearest older sister would attack her every single day. But little Soojung never minded their morning ritual, in fact; she had always found it to be funny and exciting, and she always anticipate it, because after her older sister had finished tickling her, the blonde girl would give her a sweet kiss to brighten her day.

“Hmm…” The blue eyed girl pondered and Soojung held her breath in excitement. “… Where should I tickle you today?”

“Your tummy?” Krystal giggled happily from under her blanket.

“Your feet?” The little girl let out a small shriek.

“Or here!” Jessica pulled her blanket aside and attacked the little girl between her ribs, and cute Soojung laughed and shrieked and wiggled her whole body.

“I give! I give!” Krystal squealed. “I give, unnie!”

“Then you should’ve just woke up the first time I told you too,” The blonde girl laughed as she didn’t stop tickling her.

“Stop, unnie!” Krystal laughed so hard that she was crying. “Stop…!”

Their silly morning routine only ended when Jessica saw her little sister out of breath. The blonde girl then brushed her hair with her fingers and leaned forward to kiss Soojung’s forehead.

“Good morning, dongsaeng.” She said with a sweet smile.

“Good morning, unnie…” Krystal said sheepishly with a blush on her face.

“Now go take a shower and brush your teeth.” The blonde girl said as she pulled her little sister’s hand.

“Okay…” Her baby sister said as she returned the favor and kissed her older sister’s lips, and went to the bathroom.

After the little girl disappeared behind the door, Jessica smiled and took a deep breath and proceeded to pick up the blanket and pillows from the floor, that were thrown because their little “war” earlier, and began to make Soojung’s bed. Another routine Jessica had always done to make sure her baby sister’s room always looked tidy and clean. The blue eyed girl knew she shouldn’t be pampering her little sister too much, and let her make her bed on her own, but she couldn’t help but wanting to help her precious cute little sister in every way she could. Even if their mother always scolded her for doing Krystal’s chores. Perhaps it was her way of saying sorry for what she had done to her in their previous life.

“Jung Sooyeon,” Her mother’s voice could be heard from the door as she was just about to finish tidying Soojung’s bed.

“Y-Yes, mother?” Jessie immediately froze as she could hear her mother’s steps getting nearer.

“How many times do I have to tell you that Soojung need to learn to do this herself?” Lauren said as she pinched her eldest daughter’s cheeks.

“S-Sowwy, mom…” The blonde girl pleaded helplessly as she felt her cheeks being pulled sideways.

“Breakfast.” Her mother said as she let go and pointed at the door. “Now.”

“Yes, mom...” And the blue eyed girl had no choice but to do what her mother told her.

“Seriously, you’re spoiling her too much it makes me look like I'm the bad guy…” She could hear her mother talked to herself as she walked outside the room.

“Morning, dad.” Jessica greeted her father who was sitting in the dining room with his newspaper.

“Morning, daughter number one.” Jonathan Jung greeted back without turning his eyes from the newspaper.

“Did you make Soojung’s bed again?” He said as he glanced to his precious eldest daughter who was rubbing her cheeks.

“We talk about this almost every morning, you know,” Her father continued when he saw the blonde girl just shrugged to his comment and began to eat her American breakfast. “She’ll never grow up properly if you keep doing things for her…”

“Maybe I don’t want her to grow up.” The blue eyed girl simply said.

“Well, she has to,” Her father went back to reading his newspaper. “And when she does, she’ll have a hard time doing anything without her older sister.”

“And when that day comes, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself…”

“Well I just need to make sure I’ll never leave her side then.” She answered calmly, and made her father turned his head towards her once more.

“You know you can’t be by her side forever,” He let out a sigh and tried his best to explain. “What happens when you get married?”

“I thought you said I was going to marry her?” She said stubbornly.

“You know it was just a joke,” Jonathan said as he playfully pinched her cheek. “And besides, you’re the one who doesn’t want to marry her…”

“She’ll be okay, dad,” Jessica said as she brushed his hand away. “Let me spoil her while I can…”

The father was slightly surprised by his daughter’s comment, but he could see honesty in her deep blue eyes.

“And besides, you’re always going to be there when I’m not around anyway, right?” The blonde girl continued when she noticed her father was staring at her.

“Well,” He chuckled with admiration and messed his daughter’s hair, earning her pout. “I can’t argue with that kind of logic…”

“What logic?” Soojung said as she and her mother entered the dining room.

“Hey, where’s my good morning kiss?” Jonathan said as he pulled Krystal and kissed her cheeks.

“Morning, dad.” The little girl said as she kissed her father and then sat next to her older sister.

“And I didn’t get anything from you two…” Lauren sighed loudly as she sat next to her dearest husband. “Have I really lost my daughters affections?”

“Oh, don’t be silly, mom…” Jessica giggled as she quickly rushed to her mother’s side and hugged the lonely woman. “You’re still my favorite.”

“Good morning, mom.” She said cutely as she gave her a kiss.

“How about you, Soojung?” Lauren turned to her youngest daughter. “Am I still your favorite?”

“Or are you still angry because of that wetting the bed incident?”

“Mom!” Krystal’s eyes instantly grew bigger and was widely open.

“What?” Her mother feigned ignorance. “I bet you’re still angry about me telling you to wear diapers when you go to bed…”

“Mom—“ The youngest Jung was about to protest but her mother kept going on.

“—But we can’t just buy a new mattress every time you wet the bed.”

“Why don’t you just dry the mattress in the sun?” Jessica said as she went back to her seat.

“Soojung won’t let me,” Her mother pretended to have a headache. “She said she doesn’t want the Lees know about her wetting the bed…”

“Why would our neighbor want to know about that?” The blonde girl asked again.

“Because they're nosy; that’s why!” Krystal immediately answered. “They keep asking mom about us and I bet they talk about us behind our backs!”

“Soojung; that’s not very nice,” Her older sister said to her as she patted her head. “You can’t talk about our neighbors like that.”

“But it’s true, unnie!” The little girl whined.

“Oh, they just ask about you two because they have boys your ages too,” The blonde older woman teased. “I think they intend to ask one of you for marriage…”

“Both of them are handsome and smart—“

“--Over my dead body!” Jonathan suddenly shouted as he slammed his newspaper on top of the dining table and spilled his cup of coffee.

“Yeah; over my dead body!” Krystal mimicked her angry father.

“Oh, dad…” Jessica whined as she quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped the table.

“This is outrageous!” Jonathan ignored her eldest daughter and continued. “Why haven’t I heard of this before?”

“Yeah, mom,” The blue eyed girl agreed. “I’ve never heard about this too…”

“Well, that’s because you two are never home before sundown.” Lauren shook her head and shrugged.

“That’s because I’m the provider of this family!” The father shouted again. “How dare you make plans concerning our daughters behind my back!”

"And I have trainings..." Jessica added.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” The mother said calmly. “It was just a talk between housewives…”

“I’m warning you, Lauren,” Jonathan tried to look intimidating, although he knew his wife wouldn’t find his act to be frightening. “Keep those boys away from our daughters…”

“Ah, I guess I have to cancel our dinner next Saturday then…” Her mother said jokingly. “Such a pity…”

“And Eunji unnie was so excited that her boys finally get a chance to get to know you girls…” But then she realized all eyes were on her, and she could feel their strong and hostile glares that she felt cold down her spine.

“W-What?” Lauren said timidly. “I was only kidding…”

“Don’t joke about things like that!” The father and two daughters said at the same time, and Lauren hid her face behind her cup of tea and laughed awkwardly.

“Unnie,” Krystal said when both sisters were riding their bus to school. “Why isn’t my hair blonde like you?”

“Hmm?” The blue eyed girl glanced at her little sister sitting next to her by the window.

“I wish I have a blonde hair like you…” The younger Jung said again. “… You look so pretty…”

“Oh, Soojung…” Jessica smiled and petted her little sister. “But you’re prettier than me…”

“That’s not true,” Little Soojung shook her head as she stared at her feet. “All my friends said that you’re prettier than me…”

“Oh, Soojung…” The blonde girl smiled as she tried to think of what to say to cheer her precious little sister.

“Who can be prettier than a princess?” Jessica said after a while.

“Who?” Little Krystal stared at her older sister, curious about her sudden and odd comment.

“Only the prettiest princesses have beautiful long black hair.” The older Jung continued. “Just like you.”

“That’s not true,” Her younger sister disagreed. “Not all princesses have black hair…”

“Not all,” Jessica smiled kindly. “But the prettiest of them all.”

“Unnie…” The younger Jung looked like she didn’t believe her.

“It’s true,” She giggled as she petted her younger sister’s hair. “Snow White has black hair, and she’s the prettiest princess there is.”

“And I’m as pretty as her?” Soojung’s eyes suddenly lit with joy and her lips smiled widely.

“Yes, you are,” Jessica said excitedly. “You look just like Snow White!”

“Your hair is black and your skin is so white just like hers…”

“Really?” Krystal was smiled with dreamy eyes, happy with her older sister’s complements. “I’m Snow White…”

“But Cinderella has blonde hair…” The younger Jung suddenly remembered another princess of the Disney world.

“Well Cinderella is not a princess.” The older sister reasoned.

“Yes, she is!” Little Krystal argued.

“Cinderella wasn’t born a princess, Soojung,” Jessica kindly explained. “She’s just a hard worker that married a prince…”

“Like you?” Little Soojung asked. “Mom said you work very hard and you have a blonde hair…”

“Hmm,” She thought about it for a while. “Maybe…”

“But I think I’m more like Alice…”

“Alice?” Krystal looked puzzled. “Alice in Wonderland?”

“Yes; that Alice…” The older Jung giggled.

“Why Alice?” Little Soojung asked again with excitement. “Are you saying you can travel to Wonderland?”

“That’s a secret.” Jessica smiled and pulled her little sister to her arms, and Krystal immediately fell silent to enjoy her older sister’s warmth.

“But all my friends have black hair too…” Krystal said again after a while. “Does that mean they’re princesses too?”

“No, they’re not,” Jessica said as once again she petted her younger sister’s hair. “Only real princesses have an older sister with blonde hair…”

“Unnie…” Little Soojung giggled at her silly comment. “Stop it; you don’t have to lie…”

“Soojung-ah,” The blue eyed girl stared at her younger sister and Krystal could see her sincerity. “I think you’re the prettiest little sister in the whole wide world…”

“And you’re a princess to me,” She gave her kindest smile. “Isn’t that enough?”

“It is,” Soojung smiled her sweetest and quickly buried herself in her older sister’s embrace once more. “It’s more than enough, unnie…”

“Thank you…”

“But unnie…” Krystal said again after a while. “Can’t you be a prince instead?”

“Why would you want me to be a prince?” Jessica asked as she caressed her younger sister’s hair.

“Because a princess should marry a prince.” Soojung said as she lifted her head and their eyes met. “And I want you to be my prince…”

“Oh, Soojung…” The blonde girl giggled at her younger sister’s silly request. “You know I can’t be a prince…”

“Why not?” The younger Jung was already pouting now.

“Because I’m a girl, silly!” Jessica laughed as she playfully pinched her younger sister’s cheek.

“Well, then; can I be your prince instead?” Soojung insisted, and Jessica laughed even louder.

“Of course you can’t!” She said between laughing. “You’re a girl too!”

“Ugh, you just don’t want to marry me!” Little Soojung got upset and she pulled away.

“Oh, Soojung…” The blue eyed girl smiled as she leaned closer to Krystal. “You know we can’t marry each other…”

“But even though we can’t,” Jessica quickly continued when she noticed Soojung was going to cry. “I will always love you the most.”

“Promise?” Little Krystal said sadly.

“I promise.” She smiled her sweetest and pulled her little sister into her arms once more.

“But what happens when a prince comes for you?” Her younger sister said again in horror.

“I promise no prince will ever take me away from you.” The blonde girl said gently, and she was telling the truth; no prince or king or man could ever take her heart.

“Do you swear?” Soojung asked with sad puppy eyes.

“I swear.” And again Jessica could see Krystal’s sad meaningful eyes when she said that, just like when they were riding that Ferris Wheel. The blue eyed girl tried to figure out what those eyes meant, but she couldn’t fully understand what they were trying to say to her. She could only think that perhaps her younger sister was afraid that someday her older sister would leave her on her own. And the blonde girl swore to herself that that would never happen; not in this lifetime.

The bus arrived at their school and little Soojung regretted the short trip as she wanted to stay in her older sister’s arms a little bit longer. But her older sister had already stood up and took her little hand, and led her inside the tall-business like building. The cute little girl walked towards her classroom with heavy, lazy steps and whined when they reached the hallway to her class.

Her older sister had let go of her hand and cutely pointed at her cheek, asking for a kiss. Krystal forced a smile and gave a long and passionate kiss before waving goodbye. She could see her pretty older sister waved back and then she turned around and started walking towards her classroom, where her friends were already waiting for her. And in her heart she couldn’t wait for until school is over and night falls, to see her sister again. Perhaps she would sleep in her sister’s bed again tonight. And when she reached the door of her classroom and her friends cheerfully greeted her, she gave one last look behind her and found her older sister was still waving at her with her kind and tender smile, just like always. Soojung couldn’t help but put on her own best smile and blew a kiss before she stepped inside the classroom.

Meanwhile Jessica lowered her waving hand when she saw her younger sister disappeared behind the door and her smile quickly disappeared. She then quickly turned around and rushed to her own classroom with anxious heart. Last night she had meddled in Tiffany’s decision a little bit more than she wanted to. But she knew it was necessary, as the crescent eyed girl had decided to leave SME and leave her and her friends behind. As much as she wanted for Tiffany to find her own way, and her own happiness, only a weak-willed person would let their loved ones slip away from their fingers without a fight. And that was what she was doing; she was fighting for the crescent eyed girl. If Tiffany wanted to run away and leave everything behind, and pretended she didn’t exist in her life, then she had shown her what it was like living in a world without her. And judging from the way the crescent eyed girl reacted in the dream, she had confidence that Tiffany would at least change her mind about leaving. And maybe, just maybe, Tiffany would start to open up her heart and accept her feelings for her.

But somehow the blonde girl felt restless. She had found out that today was supposed to be the day for Tiffany to meet with Jessica Ho and talk about her new contract. And if the crescent eyed girl didn’t come to school then there was a high probability that she went to the YMC building instead. And that was what scared Jessica the most. As she quickened her steps and as she could see her classroom was getting nearer, she couldn’t shake the feelings that there was something bad about to happen. And she kept questioning herself if her meddling with Tiffany’s dream was the right decision, or if it was enough to change Tiffany’s mind. And the more she got closer to her classroom, the more she was afraid.

Jessica reached the door and her eyes quickly scanned the room for Tiffany. And her eyes quickly reached the spot where the crescent eyed girl usually sat, right next to her desk. But there was no sign of the black haired American girl. There was no one sitting in her seat, and there was no large and flashy pink sport bag she always carry around. The blonde girl grew even more afraid and restless, and she quickly sat in her desk and bit her nails. Chloe and Lily greeted her cheerfully like always, and their chatter quickly filled the air around Jessica’s ears, but the blue eyed girl hardly listened to them. Instead she glanced nervously every three seconds at the empty seat next to her, hoping that magically Tiffany would show up out of thin air and sat there.

But as minutes passed and the school’s bell finally rang, Jessica knew the crescent eyed girl wouldn’t show up. As the teacher stepped inside the classroom and started his lecture, the blonde girl took her cellphone out and stared at the screen, which showed a picture of her and the crescent eyed girl, smiling to the camera with their cheeks against each other, on that happy day when Tiffany saw her first snow. Jessica stared hopingly at the picture for a while, before she opened her inbox and scrolled down to Tiffany’s messages. She read some of their older texts, and she could feel how much she missed all their silly conversations and flirting. She tapped her finger and the screen showed a new empty text box with Tiffany’s number on top, ready to be filled with new words. And the blue eyed girl pondered nervously if she should write Tiffany a message or not. They had stopped messaging each other for too long now, and she was afraid if she messaged her now, she would only make things worse. And so with a heavy heart she decided to flip close her cell phone and put it away, and pray to God that she could see Tiffany once more.

Meanwhile back in the SME dormitory, a certain black haired American girl was sitting in the clattered small living room, in front of her laptop. Tiffany’ eyes were red and puffy, as she had been crying all night long. She had just realized it when she woke up from that terrible nightmare where none of her friends knew who Jessica Jung was, and how painful it was for her trying to find the blonde girl. When she woke up she found herself alone in her shared room like usual, since Taeyeon had already gone to her school in Jeonju, and when she touched her face she realized she had been crying in her sleep. It took her a while to gather herself and pull herself up from her bed, and reached the living room. The nightmare had given her something more to think about, about her plans to leave her agency and start anew with Jessi’s. And so even when the clock showed that she was supposed to be sitting in the school bus right now, she decided it was best to sit down for a while and calm her confused heart first. And she needed someone to talk to and help her decide what to do next.

“You look awful.” Was the first thing said by her long life best friend Elizabeth when the video call connected.

“Hey, Liz…” She said weakly as she brushed her messy hair with her fingers.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school now?” The brunette girl said again as she glanced at the clock.

“I’m skipping today…” The crescent eyed girl simply replied.

“So what’s up?” Elizabeth asked as she let out a sigh.

“Nothing much…”

“Did something happen?” The brunette girl asked again.

But Tiffany just lightly shook her head and pouted, and rested her chin on the table.

“Are you still going to switch agencies?” Elizabeth asked again with a concerned look on her face. The crescent eyed girl had talked about the whole switching agencies a couple of weeks back.

“Am I doing the right thing, Liz?” But Tiffany surprisingly answered with another question.

“We talked about this, Tiff,” Elizabeth knew her best friend in Korea was having second thoughts. “And we decided this was for the best.”

“I know…” She replied lazily. “… But is it the right thing?”

“… Why does it feel like I’m running away?”

“You’re just scared that you’ll have to start all over again.” Her best friend tried to comfort her. “You’re scared that you’ll have to find new friends, fit in in a new environment…”

“You’re not helping…” Tiffany said as she imagined the horrors of having to start over.

“But it’s alright,” Elizabeth quickly continued. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“You’ll find new friends soon enough, and besides, you already have Jessi.”

“Not the blonde Jessi, that is.”

“Yeah…” The crescent eyed girl looked dispirited.

“And you already have experience in trainings, so it will be easier for you to fit in now,” Elizabeth kept trying to console her. “And Jessi said she’ll help you in any way she can.”

“Yeah…” But Tiffany just replied with the same unenthusiastic manner, and Elizabeth let out another sigh, and both girls stayed quiet for a while.

“I had a dream, Liz…” Tiffany finally said. “… A dream where she doesn’t exist…”

“… And it feels so wrong…” She continued as her best friend listened to her patiently. “… And I was trying so hard to find her…”

“… Only to meet her sister and found out that I was the reason for her disappearance…”

“… And it hurts so much, Liz…”

“… It hurts so much that I wouldn’t be able to see her again…”

“You’re just scared, Tiff…” Elizabeth replied, hoping to somehow comfort her poor confused friend.

“And besides; it was just a dream…” The brunette said again. “It doesn’t mean anything…”

“But it felt so real, Liz…” Tiffany argued. “It felt like the world is coming to an end…”

And Elizabeth couldn’t find anything to say.

“What about the plan?” Elizabeth finally said. “Are you just going to give it all up just because you had a dream?”

“Are you going to stay and let yourself gets hurt more?”

“She’s the reason you cry every day, Tiff,” The long curly haired girl raised her voice, almost looked like she hated Jessica. “She’s the reason why you’re in so much pain.”

“But she’s the reason why I smile too…” She put on a bitterly sweet sad smile as she said that, and even Elizabeth had to muster all her strength not to cry on that spot.

“I know, Tiff,” Elizabeth said sadly. “I know…”

Both girls didn’t say anything after. Tiffany knew no matter how much she tried to describe her feelings, her dear American best friend wouldn’t be able to understand her completely. But she knew Elizabeth tried her best to imagine what was it like in her shoes, and there was nothing more Elizabeth could do. And she was thankful for her; for being a good friend and patiently listen to all her problems and tears.

“Just do me a favor...” Elizabeth finally broke the silence.

“What is it?” She raised her head and stared at her far away best friend.

“Look down.” The curly brunette girl said.

“Why?” Tiffany asked, but she did what she was asked.

“Look at your ankles.” Elizabeth continued. “Are you still wearing the gift she gave you for Christmas?”

The crescent eyed girl didn’t answer. Her eyes were fixed on her own ankles, and the silver bracelet with green canary figurines hanging from it. Tink and Bell… She thought to herself.

And she found herself gazing at the pretty ankle bracelet for quite some time. But what she didn’t realize was Elizabeth had been staring at her the whole time and noticed her putting on a sweet smile.

“What does it mean?” Tiffany asked the long curly haired girl.

“You figure it out yourself.” Elizabeth smiled at her. “Maybe it will help you make up your mind.”

“Why won’t you help me?” The black haired American girl asked, riddled by her friend’s comment.

“I’ve already helped as much as I can.” The brunette was still smiling kindly. “And I’m going to support your decision no matter what…”

“But you need to decide this for yourself, or you’re going to regret anything that happen in the future…”

“I see…” Tiffany slowly nodded and smiled back at her best friend. “Thanks, Liz…”

The call ended as they said goodbyes and Tiffany was left sitting in that cluttered and messy living room. The crescent eyed girl took a deep breath and stared back down, to her ankles, and her fingers reached for the green canary figurines.

Why did Liz mention you? She asked as she played with the small figurines.

How can you help me decide what to do?

It took her a little while before she asked herself the most important question. Why am I still wearing this?

Several long, painful hours and Jessica Jung found herself sitting in the bus, heading to her training building. Today was the longest and the most stressful day she had to endure, and she felt like she was about to break down and cry at any time. The blonde girl had been desperately hoping Tiffany would come to school late in the day and change her mind about switching agencies, but the crescent eyed girl didn’t show up after all. And now anxiously sitting in the bus, she kept praying to God that Tiffany had already gone to training and she could finally see her there.

But she could feel her hopes were fleeting away bit by bit as she drew closer to the training building. In her mind she couldn’t stop thinking for the worst, that the black haired American girl had gone to YMC to sign a new contract with them. She couldn’t help but feel that she was just denying the inevitable, that she should just let Tiffany go.

A part of her was saying that it didn’t matter if the crescent eyed girl switched agencies. She could still see her and try to win her back. It was not like Tiffany was going back home to the US where she wouldn’t be able to see her completely. But a larger part of her was telling her that if the black haired American girl had decided to leave SME, it meant that Tiffany had already shut her heart and there was no way to win her back. That thought made her desperate. She felt like everything she had done in this new life of hers were for nothing, and no matter how hard she tried “fate” would always get in her way and she and Tiffany would never be together. They were destined to be apart.

And so when the bus reached her stop, she took her time getting down from the bus and hesitantly walked towards the training building.

When she reached the front of the building, her fears were getting stronger that she felt like she was going to faint from all the stress. She tried to take long deep breaths to calm herself down, but it proved useless as her knees were getting weak now. And so she closed her eyes and tried to empty her mind, and she could see the events from last night’s dream almost instantly.

There she was; standing behind the door to her classroom, and Tiffany had already fallen asleep in her desk. Her other-self appeared next to her, and she could see the shining girl’s disapproval of her methods. The blue eyed girl brushed all her disagreement and questions with a light tone, like she was just kidding around. But the shining girl didn’t know how hard she was trying to hide all the nervousness and desperation as she covered them up with her smiles and laughs.

And as she was watching Tiffany sleep, she could hear her own voice saying, “Just let it go, Jess…”

“You’ve done everything you can…”

“It’s up to her now…”

Jessica opened her eyes and found herself back standing in front of the training building. A couple of trainees she didn’t know personally walked past her in a hurry and greeted her. The blonde girl smiled and greeted back, and somehow her knees weren’t as weak and trembling as before. She heard her own voice inside her head once more, telling her the exact same thing, and she took a deep breath and finally calmed down.

With a lighter step she started to walk and entered the building and through the tall glass door, and pressed the elevator button. She waited for a while for the elevator to come down, and when it arrived she stepped inside and waited the door to close.

It’s okay, She thought to herself. I just have to believe in her…

She’ll choose the right thing… The elevator door slowly closed.

She’ll choose—But before she could finish her words, a hand stopped the door from closing down completely, and she could see a familiar girl wearing pink T-shirt and white short pants forcing her way into the elevator.

She came! She was about to scream from the joy, but she quickly put on a casual face and try not to show her feelings too much. She really came!

The blonde girl then turned her head to her right to hide her overjoyed face, and she caught Tiffany’s reflection, who was now standing next to her, on the mirror. The crescent eyed girl looked out of breath, like she had been running a marathon. Her long black hair was tied into a pony tail, and was a bit messy here and there, but the blonde girl couldn’t make out if it was messy from the running she had done or if the black haired girl didn’t even bother to brush her hair before coming here. She could see that Tiffany was sweating a lot, and the crescent eyed girl was wiping her sweat with her hands. But still, Tiffany was as pretty as ever, and she had to stop herself from taking her hand towel out from her own bag and wipe those sweat herself.

As the elevator started to move, the blue eyed girl then pretended to fix her hair to get a better view of her fellow American, and noticed the crescent eyed girl was wearing her favorite sport T-shirt and white short pants, and her large pink sport bag was hanging on her left shoulder. Jessica then realized how much she had missed seeing the girl in such a close range.

“We need to talk.” Tiffany suddenly said, startling her, but she tried to keep a straight face and said nothing in return.

“Jessie; we need to talk.” The crescent eyed girl was now facing her, staring her with serious eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Tiffany-sii…” Jessica tried her best to hide her excitement. She could already feel something good was about to happen. But then somehow she wondered if Tiffany wanted to talk to her to say goodbye. “But I don’t have anything to talk to you.”

“Okay; I deserve that,” Tiffany said as she noticed the blue eyed girl was using honorifics with her. “But please, Jessie. I really need to talk with you…”

“Can’t it wait?” The blonde girl suddenly felt scared and she didn’t want to hear what the black haired American girl wanted to say to her. “I-I have to go to my trainings now.”

“Please, Jessie…” The crescent eyed girl said as she reached for her arm.

“I said no.” Jessica instinctively yanked her arm free, and she could feel her heartbeat was getting faster and faster.

At that time the elevator reached the fourth floor and the door swung open, and Jessica was about to get out when Tiffany blocked the door with her body and pressed the elevator door rapidly.

“W-What are you doing?” The blue eyed girl asked, she felt like she was about to cry any minute now. In her mind she was cursing herself for wanting to run away from Tiffany, when not five minutes ago all she wanted was to see the crescent eyed girl.

“I said we need to talk.” The crescent eyed girl replied seriously, and Jessica felt a twirl in her stomach and her fears grew even stronger.

“F-Fine.” She gave up as her mind was torn between wanting to hear what the black haired girl was going to say, and scared of knowing if the reason for Tiffany’s serious tone was to say goodbye.

Jessica then stared at the elevator buttons and found that Tiffany had pressed the top floor. She then recalled that the top floor was empty and the managers used it to store some rarely used equipment and outdated documents. The elevator dinged and the door swung open, and the crescent eyed girl suddenly took her hand and guided her outside. This time Jessica didn’t pull away, as she was too surprise by the sudden gesture, and her blue eyes wandered around the vast, slightly dark empty room. The room was emptier than she had thought; with only large boxes sitting in the corners of the room, and some old large speakers and treadmills. The blonde girl could see that the managers hadn’t even finished applying the wallpapers, and some of the windows were shut by some old newspapers, and the whole room smelled like dust. It was creepier than she had thought it would, but the look in Tiffany’s eyes as she abruptly stopped in the middle of the dark and dusty room was even scarier to her.

“L-Look, Jessie,” Tiffany said as she suddenly let go of her hand. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting recently…”

Jessica was too busy trying to calm herself down in that frightening situation, and she could feel her heartbeat was already all over the place.

“Y-Yes?” She finally had the courage to reply.

“I-I was…” Tiffany looked like she was struggling to find words. “I was…”

“You were what?” The blonde girl felt the scary atmosphere and the anticipation were killing her, and she asked restlessly.

“I-I wanted to apologize…” The crescent eyed girl timidly continued.

“What for?” She pushed herself to ask the right questions, even though she was scared if the black haired girl was really saying goodbye.

“F-For…” But Tiffany looked so frightened too, and Jessica wondered if there was hope. “F-For avoiding you…”

“… A-And not talking to you…”

“I-I'm such a bad friend…”

Jessica bit her own lips and waited for more confession, but it looked like the crescent eyed girl was about to cry. That was when the blonde felt that maybe Tiffany was going to tell her some good news after all.

“And why were you avoiding me?” She decided to ask bluntly, and she could see the black haired girl was not expecting the question as her eyes were moving frantically side to side, desperate to find an excuse.

“I-I was…” The crescent eyed girl looked scared and confused at the same time. “I was…”

“Why were you avoiding me?” She repeated her question as she grew more confidence.

“I-I was…”

“Why were you avoi—“ But the crescent eyed girl suddenly grabbed her arms and pulled her in, and planted a passionate and fiery kiss on her lips. The blonde girl was so surprised by the act, but she quickly regained herself and kissed her back.

“I’m sorry!” Tiffany pulled out before Jessica could deepen their kiss. “I’m sorry, Jessie!”

“Why are you sorry?” The blonde girl said as she tasted her own lips; already missing the sensation from their kiss earlier.

“I’m such a bad friend!” But the crescent eyed girl was too busy to notice the gesture, as she kept on rambling on her own feelings. “I’m such a bad person!”

“What are you—“ The blue eyed girl tried to calm her down, but Tiffany took a step back and kept on crying.

“—I don’t deserve to be your best friend!” The black haired girl cried. “I don’t deserve you!”

“Tiff—“

“—B-But I can’t fight this feeling!” Tiffany looked desperate trying to explain her feelings. “I can’t help falling in love with you!”

“You love me?” Jessica felt her chest tightened and she was about to scream from all the happiness.

“But I know you’d be disgusted with me if I told you!” But the crescent eyed girl wouldn’t stop. “That’s why I kept avoiding you!”

“That’s why I wanted to switch agencies!” Tiffany cried louder and her body was shaking so hard. “But I can’t do this anymore!”

“I-I can’t stand the thought of not being able to see you again!”

“Tiff, let me—“

“—So I know that now you’re probably disgusted with me; and I know that you’re already dating Donghae oppa—“

“—Donghae oppa?”

“But I just want to be your friend!” Tiffany wailed as she covered her face with her hands. “Just let me be your friend again!”

“I-I promise I won’t try to kiss you again!” The poor crescent eyed girl sobbed. “A-And I promise I won’t try to make you love me!”

“I won’t force you to do anything you don’t like…”

“I-I just want to be your friend again…”

“Please don’t get mad at me…” Tiffany’s voice grew weaker as she finally told Jessica everything. “Please don’t be disgusted with me…”

“Please just let me stay with you…”

“Please, Jessie…” The crescent eyed girl was still hiding her face behind her hands. “Please let me—“

“—Shut up!” The blonde girl suddenly shouted. “Just. Shut. Up!”

Tiffany was so shocked by Jessie’s shout that her knees grew weak all of a sudden and she fell down to the ground, crouching. The poor crescent eyed girl was so scared that if she looked at the blonde girl now, she would find hatred and disgust in her blue eyes, and so she kept hiding her face behind her hands. “I’m sorry…”

“You know that girls don’t usually love other girls, right?” Jessica’s cold words pierced her heart. But Tiffany had already known that fact, and she nodded weakly in reply.

“You know that people aren’t going to accept this kind of relationship, right?” Again the blue eyed girl told her the harsh cold reality in this world that she had already known, and she replied with a weak nod once more.

Jessica stared at the crescent eyed girl who was still crouching on the ground, and took a deep breath before continuing. “And so you know the consequences if we’re going to do this, right?”

And once again Tiffany nodded weakly, as she fully aware of the consequences of having a same- relationship. But then the crescent eyed girl felt her heart skipped a beat as she thought about what Jessie had just asked her.

“W-What are you saying?” The black haired girl slowly removed her hands from her face.

“You know we’re going to have to keep this a secret from everyone, right?” But the blonde girl ignored her question and asked her another.

“Y-Yes…” There was a gleam of hope in Tiffany’s eyes now, and her lips slowly formed a smile.

“We’re going to have to keep this a secret from our friends, and even our families.” The crescent eyed girl could see Jessica was staring her straight in the eyes and she was dead serious when she said that.

“Yes!” And the black haired American girl was already smiling her widest.

“And you know we’re going to face so many hardships because of that, right?” She asked again like she was trying to find out if Tiffany had really thought about the whole thing.

“Yes-yes-yes!” But the crescent eyed girl already had so much time to think about what she really wanted, and she literally threw herself to the blonde’s embrace and held her tight with all her might.

“There; that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Jessica said with tears in her eyes. Finally, the girl of her dreams was there with her, hugging her, telling her exactly what she wanted to hear the most.

Tiffany didn’t even bother to answer, as the crescent eyed girl was busy trying to deepen their hug.

“What took you so long, jeez…” The blonde girl said she felt all the air in her lungs were being out, but she didn’t mind. Instead, she returned Tiffany’s favor by hugging her even tighter.

“I’m sorry…” The black haired American girl finally replied as she snuggled her neck.

“Stop saying you’re sorry…” The blue eyed girl giggled as she pulled away slightly to stare into her dark brown eyes, and saw Tiffany was crying again, but this time it was the tears of happiness, as all her confusion had finally ended. Happily.

“Stop crying already…” Jessica said gently with her own tears flowing from her eyes, and the crescent eyed girl giggled and sniffled, and the blonde found her to be the cutest girl she had ever seen.

The blonde couldn’t take it anymore and she leaned closer and planted a kiss on Tiffany’s lips. They locked lips for quite some time, pouring every single emotion in they felt for each other. Tiffany was kissing with apology, relief, longing, and more passion than the burning fire of Olympus. Apology for taking so long to figure out what she wanted the most; Jessica. Relief that the girl she had fallen in love with, her bestest best friend, felt the same way as her. Longing, for Tiffany had missed the beautiful blonde girl with all her life, and finally she was in her arms.

The blonde girl, meanwhile, was kissing Tiffany with the passion, if not greater; for she had longed for this kiss to happen ever since she woke up knowing all about her past life five years ago. Her burning passion and love for the crescent eyed girl was so overwhelming that they had taken over her, and she gently opened Tiffany’s lips with her own, and nibbled on Tiffany’s lower lips. The black haired American girl let out a small moan from the sensation, but she kept her eyes tightly closed and enjoyed every second of it. The blue eyed girl then tilted her head slightly and started to open a little wider, and she hugged Tiffany’s mouth tightly with her own; just like their bodies were hugging right now. And even though the crescent eyed girl had only experienced this kind of kiss now, her fiery love for the blonde girl took over her, and she welcomed Jessie’s lips even deeper, pushing even stronger, like she just wanted to eat the blonde’s lips.

At that time Jessica let out a small moan of her own, causing Tiffany’s face to get hotter by the second, and the crescent eyed girl pushed even deeper, and the blue eyed girl responded by nibbling and her lower lips even stronger now. Jessica’s sweet and soft, but needy lips caused Tiffany to felt weak in her knees, and she thought she was about to fall down, but Jessica’s arms supported her, and pulled her body even closer. With their lips and bodies pressed hard against each other, Tiffany could feel Jessica’s strong and fast heartbeat, and she felt her face was so hot like it was burning with fire.

That was when Tiffany ran out of air, and she moaned louder. Jessica felt the same, and she reluctantly pulled her lips away, giving a chance for them to catch some breaths. When the blonde girl opened her eyes, she could see Tiffany staring at her, with her dark brown eyes filled with passionate love, and wide open, and her breath was all over the place, just like hers. They stared at each other for some time, until their breaths and heartbeats were steadier, and Jessica reached out and gently wiped Tiffany’s wet upper chin with her fingers.

“I love you…” Was all Tiffany could say at the gesture, even though she felt like she needed to say much more; but there was no word to describe what she was feeling at the time.

Jessica didn’t say anything but she replied with a sweet kiss on her lips, and Tiffany quickly buried her face against the blonde’s neck, and hugged her tighter.

“Does this mean…” The crescent eyed girl said again hesitantly.

“Hmm?” The blonde girl said as she kept her eyes closed and snuggled her neck.

“Does this mean you…” The black haired girl couldn’t believe what had just happened. It was like an impossible dream came true. “… You love me too?”

“Oh, Tiff,” The blue eyed girl giggled and lifted her head to meet Tiffany’s eyes. “What else does this supposed to mean?”

“I-I’m sorry…” Tiffany smiled her sweetest, showing her mesmerizing eye smile that Jessica hadn’t seen for so long. “… I just…”

“I just can’t believe this is true…”

“Stop saying you’re sorry,” Jessica smiled as she caressed her long black hair. “You did nothing wrong…”

“Thank you…” Tiffany replied and she leaned closer for a kiss. This time Tiffany was determined she was the one who was going to do all the nibbling. Their kiss now was a bit different than before, as it was slower, gentler, and less sloppy. Both girls were now trying to enjoy each other's lips, enjoy the full sensation of their soft and tender kiss, instead of pouring all their emotions like their previous one. The crescent eyed girl soon found that the touch of Jessica's lips on hers had a powerful and divine effect, as it made her whole body warm and her knees weak. In fact, her whole body felt paralyzed, and she quickly forgot her plan to nibble the blonde's lips earlier. Instead, the black haired girl let the blue eyed girl do whatever she wanted with her lips, and the latter seemed like she had plenty of experience in kissing. But Jessica's lips was not the only thing that made her whole body turned limp, as the warm sensation from the blonde's body and her rhythmic heartbeat swayed her more than she could imagined. And Jessica's gentle yet strong embrace; her hands caressing her back, and then smoothly down to her hips and squeezing them tight, made her whole body shiver in excitement, and she couldn't stop from wanting more. But after some time Tiffany realized that she needed fresh air in her lungs, and like she could read her mind, Jessica pulled away.

“What are we going to do?” The crescent eyed girl asked after the kiss and were gasping for air.

“About what?” Jessica asked.

“We’re gay…” Tiffany said hesitantly.

“I thought you said you’ve thought about this?” The blonde girl asked again, and Tiffany was afraid Jessica would think she didn’t really think this through.

“I-I have thought about it,” The crescent eyed girl timidly replied as she pulled the blue eyed girl closer. “A-And I want this…”

“I really want this, Jessie…” Tiffany pleaded. “But still…”

“We’re gay…”

“I know…” Jessica said as she gently pulled away and took Tiffany’s hand, and guided her to some large boxes stacked in the corner of the room. The blue eyed girl then carefully checked one of the boxes if it was strong enough to hold her weight, and when she was satisfied she sat on it and patted her lap to gesture Tiffany to sit on it.

The black haired girl didn’t wait for a second invitation and quickly jumped into Jessica’s lap, so quick and hard that the blonde girl grunted a bit, but quickly wore a smile when Tiffany gave an apologetic look.

“But I’m going to have to apologize to you, Tiff…” The blue eyed girl said to her.

“About what?” The crescent eyed girl asked as she wrapped her arms around Jessica’s shoulders.

“I’m not gay…” The blonde girl said with a sad smile, and Tiffany felt like the world was about to crumble right her very eyes.

“W-What are you—“

“—I’m not gay,” Jessica continued before the Tiffany could say anything. “I just happen to fall in love with Tiffany Hwang, and she just happens to be a girl…”

“Oh, you…” Tiffany smiled sheepishly, and kissed the blonde’s cheek. “Stop teasing me…”

“I’m not teasing you, I was telling you the truth.” The blue eyed girl giggled.

“Did you practice saying that line in front of the mirror every night?” The black haired girl asked again.

“Every. Single. Night…” Jessica whispered to her, and planted another long and deep kiss on her lips, filled with love and affection.