CHAPTER XXIII

BUTTERFLIES AND COTTON CANDIES

The next day Tiffany and Taeyeon decided to share what happened the night before to their friends during their recess. Hyoyeon and Seohyun were surprised to hear such rumors had been going around, while the rest already knew about them.

“It makes sense, though,” Hyoyeon said as she sat and leaned her back to the wall. “Some people were bound to get jealous when they heard Ri-in was going to debut.”

“She’s only been here for a year, while most of us spend so many years and still nowhere near debuting…” She said as she stared at Jessica.

“We’ve heard people talking about Ri-in being close with the managers and such,” Yuri who was sitting next to the blonde added. “And she used that closeness for her own benefit…”

“But I never heard rumors saying she would go as far as sleeping with them…”

“I don’t understand how people could spread stuff like that…” Yoona shook her head. “Don’t they have better things to do?”

“I’d like to know who’s spreading those rumors and give them a piece of my mind.” The brunette girl looked upset.

“It doesn’t matter who,” Taeyeon sighed. “Right now we need to think of ways to stop it from spreading much further.”

“We can’t,” Sooyoung said firmly as she stared to the slanted eyed girl across from her. “The rumors will keep on spreading no matter what we do.”

“So do you think we should just pretend nothing happened?” The shorter girl stared back.

“I didn’t say that!” The tall tanned girl glared.

“Okay, stop it you guys,” Hyoyeon sighed. “No need to get worked up over this.”

“Listen, Taeyeon,” The brunette turned to the slanted eyed girl. “Sooyoung’s right, there’s nothing we can do now to stop the rumors.”

“People will believe anything they want to believe.”

“I’m more interested in the other matter,” She brushed her brown hair back. “The company chooses the team thing…”

“Has any of you guys hear anything?” Tiffany asked as she instinctively leaned closer to her blonde best friend. It had became a habit for her to sit next to the blue eyed girl and move closer to her until there was no distance between them; like she was addicted to Jessica’s body warmth. And the strange thing was she always did it unconsciously. “Anything about the teams?”

“Nope,” The girls shook their heads. “Nothing like that…”

“I wonder what Yujin knows about the teams…” The crescent eyed girl wondered as her gaze shifted to the blonde girl next to her. “And how she knows it…”

“Well then we can ask Youngjin oppa about it later,” Jessica wore her small alluring smile and Tiffany quickly flashed her own eye smile.

“Yeah, I think it’s best if we ask Youngjin oppa about it.” The black haired American girl agreed.

“Okay, girls!” Their dance instructor clapped her hands. “Break’s over!”

“Time to move those booties!”

After their training was over the girls decided to invite Youngjin to their favorite café once more to talk about the rumors. The girls sat down and ordered their favorite snacks and drinks, while waiting for the young manager to come. Tiffany took her usual seat next to her blonde best friend, and Taeyeon quickly secured the opposite side. Yuri, Yoona, and Seohyun sat across from them, and Sooyoung and Hyoyeon pulled another table and put them together.

Tiffany felt a little odd as there were no Ri-in, Yujin and Jihye. The crescent eyed girl felt there was something missing, and was a little saddened by their situation now. The other girls somehow felt the same way, so there was no cheerful and loud chatter at their tables like they used to.

Youngjin arrived not long after and joined Sooyoung and Hyoyeon’s table. He sat there, looking a bit tired and ordered a hot black coffee. The girls greeted him and the young manager caught their lack of enthusiasm.

“So what is this about, Taeyeon?” He immediately knew something was wrong. “Your text said it was important.”

“Yes, oppa.” The slanted eyed girl said seriously. “It is very important for us…”

And then she and Tiffany took turns to tell Youngjin about what had happened since new year; rumors about Ri-in, and about how Yujin and Jihye behave differently now, and about what Yujin said about trainees being divided into teams. The young manager listened to their story and his face slowly showed concerned.

“Okay, first of all…” Youngjin sighed as Tiffany and Taeyeon finished their story. “You girls should’ve known better but to listen to rumors…”

“Especially when they’re about someone you know closely--”

“—But something must’ve caused the rumors, oppa.” Hyoyeon suddenly said. “They must have been based on something…”

“What do you mean, Hyoyeon?” Youngjin looked surprised by her comment; and the girls too.

“Well, if I heard it right,” The brunette girl explained. “Ri-in’s rumors were about her being close with some managers…”

“And someone saw them hanging out together…”

“W-Well, I don’t know anything about that…” The young manager stuttered.

“Someone saw Ri-in and a manager hanging out together…” Tiffany repeated what Hyoyeon just said unconsciously, and she remembered how she and her dorm mates used to tease Ri-in about Youngjin.

“… And they looked like a couple on a date…” She remembered what the two unnies said in the restroom.

Youngjin looked shocked by Tiffany’s words and he couldn’t help but stare at the crescent eyed girl.

“Did you…” The black haired American girl stared back. “… Have you ever gone on a date with Ri-in, oppa?”

“I… I…” He tried to come up with something to deny it but his shocked face said it all.

“We did…” Youngjin weakly admitted. “Once…”

“Really?” The girls were surprised.

“Are you serious?” Hyoyeon stood up and slammed the table. “Don’t you know that you are not allowed to have a relationship with trainees?”

“What were you thinking?”

“It’s over, okay?” Youngjin stood up as well. “It was just that one time!”

“Well that one time has caused the rumors to spread around!” Hyoyeon looked very upset and leaned forward towards the young manager. “And now Ri-in has to pay the price!”

“I know that!” Youngjin looked equally upset. “I got reprimanded by the higher ups as well!”

“Reprimanded?” The brunette scoffed. “Do you think a harsh warning is equal to being subjected to those evil rumors?”

“Ri-in is going to debut soon, and what if the rumors spread outside the company?”

“I…” Youngjin couldn’t say anything. “I…”

“I know that…” He lost strength and sat back down.

“Then why did you agreed to go on a date with her?” Hyoyeon pressed on. “And she’s a minor for Christ—“

“—That’s enough, Hyo!” Yuri stood and grabbed the brunette’s arm. “It’s already done!”

Hyoyeon pulled her arm free and sat back in her seat still glaring at Youngjin. And their tables were silent for a while, each girl processing the new information they had just received.

“Do you really like her?” Tiffany asked after a while.

Youngjin knew the question was meant for him, and he stared tiredly at the crescent girl and sighed. “Of course I liked her…”

“… I still do…”

“And I know she’s too young for me…” He let out another deep sigh. “… But I can’t control who I love…”

“What happened, oppa?” The black haired American girl asked again.

The young manager took the time to stare at each girl and took a deep breath before he decided he should tell the girls the truth. He knew he owed them that, and he needed to share his feelings for the Chinese girl anyway; to ease his heart ache.

“I couldn’t help it, you know…” He started as he stared to the distance; reminiscing. “I fell in love with her at the first moment I saw her…”

“But I knew it wouldn’t work out between us,” The girls decided to listen to his story, as they were curious as well. “Not when I’m a manager and she’s a trainee…”

“So I tried to be her friend instead,” He let out a deep sigh. “Or her older brother…”

“… Anything as long as I can be close to her…”

“It was stupid; I know, but I couldn’t help it…” There was sadness in his eyes.

“But then somehow I noticed that Ri-in sort of liked me too…”

“And I was so happy at the time that I forgot the rules…” He joined his hands and squeezed them tight.

“And I joked around and asked her to go out with me, and she said yes…” Youngjin stared at his hands.

“And when we went out she told me she liked me too…” The girls leaned forward as his voice was getting weaker by each sentence.

“I couldn’t help it, you know…” The young manager vaguely smiled. “… I was so happy that I thought we could date secretly and no one would ever find out…”

The girls saw that faint smile and felt sorry for him. Even though they were still young and inexperienced in love, but they could imagine what it was like when someone you liked returned your feelings. Even Hyoyeon felt sorry for the young manager, and her eyes softened.

“But then the rumors spread…” Youngjin’s voice was hoarse. “… And the director summoned the both of us…”

“And he told us to end our relationship…” His eyes were getting teary.

“Ri-in fought them,” He tried his best to continue his story, although his words were trembling. “She told them that she really liked me and she would rather quit her trainings with SM to be with me…”

Youngjin took a deep breath before he continued. “… And I said the same thing; I would rather quit my job then leave her…”

Yoona and Seohyun could not help and let out a soft aww, and Tiffany could feel tears where filling her eyes.

“And that was the time Mr. Sooman told Ri-in that she was going to debut early this year…” And the girls’ eyes widened.

“And then he asked her if she was really willing to let the chance slip through her hands…” A tear fell down his face.

“And she took the offer!” The young manager couldn’t hold his tears and cried. “She took the offer!”

“She chose to become an idol over me!” The girls gasped and stared at him with their mouths opened.

Tiffany felt sorry for what happened to them, and somehow deep inside she could feel how sad it was if the one you loved chose someone else, or in this case something else. And she found it strange that in her heart she could picture how painful it was for Youngjin, and she cried too. Jessica saw her best friend sobbing and quickly threw both hands around her and rubbed her arms. But she couldn’t say anything. Not when she knew how painful it was when you were forced to choose between love and career.

Once upon a time the blonde girl chose the latter, and she regretted her decision her entire other life. But she knew what Jang Ri-in must have felt when she was given the choice. She knew how hard it was to choose; a forbidden love filled with tears and sadness, or a career that had been her dream since the beginning. She had chosen career, not only because she thought that she could win back the love of her life at the time, but also to protect that special person. At least that was what she had thought. But not long after she knew it was the wrong choice. She knew that once you hurt the one she loved the most, there was no turning back. There was no redemption. There was no happy ending.

And I won’t make the same mistake again, she thought to herself as she wiped Tiffany’s tears with her fingers.

The blue eyed girl smiled sympathetically and caressed the crescent eyed girl’s cheek. Tiffany stared at her blue eyes and smiled. She then raised her hand and held on to Jessica’s hand that was still caressing her cheek, and closed her eyes to enjoy the blonde’s sweet and gentle touches.

“Did she really choose that?” Yuri asked the sobbing young manager, and Tiffany opened her eyes to see Taeyeon and Hyoyeon were staring at her and she hesitantly pulled away from Jessica as she noticed they were eyeing her oddly, but she didn’t let go of the blonde’s hand and put their joined hands on top of her lap.

“I mean… Did she decide that very moment?” The tanned girl carefully added as she felt sorry for Youngjin.

“She didn’t…” The crying man wiped his tears with his sleeves. “… She didn’t say anything at the time…”

“The director then gave her a few days to think about it…”

“But she ultimately decided to accept the offer…” He let out a deep sigh.

“Why didn’t you try and persuade her?” Hyoyeon asked.

“I did.” Youngjin smiled as he found it odd that the brunette suddenly switched sides and rooted for him. “I told her that I could find a job someplace else and she could join another agency…”

“I tried to convince her that everything would be alright…” He brushed his hair. “… But she told me she needed time to think it over…”

“I guess she thought that her dream is more important than pursuing this stupid love…”

“It’s not stupid!” Jessica suddenly shouted, and her friends were surprised by her sudden outburst. The blonde girl was known for her calm and composed demeanor, and it was very rare to see her lose her bearing. “It’s not!”

“It’s okay, Jessica,” Youngjin smiled as he mistook her outburst as an act of sympathy.

“I know it’s too much to hope Ri-in would choose me over her career…” Those words pierced Jessica’s heart.

“It’s not like we’re going to get married or something…” He stared at his now cold coffee.

“And she would be happier this way…” And Jessica’s tears fell.

“You never know until you try!” The blonde’s words were trembling and her friends were shocked to see her cry.

“You’ll regret it if you don’t try first!” The blue eyed girl was reminded of her own mistake and it broke her heart. “Why won’t you try?”

Tiffany automatically reached for the blonde’s cheek and wiped her tears, before she threw her arms around her and held her tight.

“It’s okay, Jessie…” She whispered lovingly to calm her down. “… It was Ri-in’s choice…”

“Thank you, Jessica…” Youngjin forced a smile. “… I really appreciate your kind words…”

“But I can’t fight for our relationship alone…” He scratched his head. “… Not if Ri-in doesn’t want to fight it with me…”

“And I think Ri-in made the right choice anyway…” The young manager stared at the ceiling.

“And I know I’ll regret this…” He closed his eyes and a single tear dropped. “… But as long as she’s happy, then I’m happy…”

“I’ll try to live with this decision…”

The girls let out a sigh and stared at Youngjin with their teary eyes. They had never expected to hear such a sad heart breaking story from the young manager. And they knew there was nothing they could say to or do to fix this. And their tables fell quiet once more.

“I’m sorry, oppa…” Hyoyeon broke the silence. “I’m sorry I yelled at you…”

“That’s okay, Hyoyeon,” Youngjin sighed. “I know you’re worried about Ri-in…”

“But what I said was the truth; I really love her…”

“And I never wanted any of this to happen to Ri-in…”

“Ri-in unnie is so strong…” Seohyun said as she wiped a tear from her eyes. “She looked so happy when she gave the news…”

“But she was probably so sad and didn’t have anyone to share her feelings with…”

And both Tiffany and Taeyeon realized what the youngest girl said was true. Ri-in looked so happy when she told them the news, and they didn’t notice anything wrong with the Chinese girl, not until Tiffany heard about the rumors.

“But a couple of days ago both of you looked happy when we met here…” Taeyeon finally found her voice.

“Yeah,” Youngjin said weakly. “That was when she told me about her decision…”

“It was when we got to the dorm…”

“Oh, God…” The slanted eyed girl looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, oppa…”

“That’s okay,” The young manager forced a smile. “What’s done is done…”

And there was silence filling the air once more.

“I will talk with the other managers about the rumors,” Youngjin cleared his throat. He knew he should at least try to act like a manager and help the girls. “I’ll ask them to address all the trainees not to trust those rumors and spread them around some more…”

“And I’ll personally talk to Yujin and Jihye about this.”

“But Yujin already said they didn’t believe those rumors,” Tiffany said as she let go of Jessica, who was now calmed down. “They acted differently towards us because of a different matter…”

“Ah, yes.” Youngjin nodded a couple of times. “The team thing…”

“Well, I can honestly say that I don’t know what she was talking about,” He explained. “There is no team placement among you, not that I know of, and the company isn’t playing favorites.”

“But you should know that you are being evaluated individually every day,” The young manager warned them. “And the renewal of your contracts depends on your daily performance.”

“So you should always try your best in your trainings.”

“Maybe that was what Yujin was talking about.” Hyoyeon said. “Maybe she was nervous about the evaluation that she thought of us as her rivals.”

“Perhaps that is the case,” Youngjin seemed to be deep in thoughts. “But we do encourage you to work together as a team…”

“What about clanification?” The crescent eyed girl asked.

“Clani-What?” The young manager looked puzzled.

“You know…” Tiffany realized she said something that was not Korean, or any other language. “How you put us in different classes…”

“Ah, did you mean classification?” The man nodded. “Yes, as you know you are divided between classes.”

“But that was purely meant so that you can receive the proper trainings based on your skills.”

“Some of you have basic vocal lessons, while the others get the advance class.” He explained further. “The same goes with your dancing, etiquette and acting lessons…”

“Maybe that was what Yujin meant.” Tiffany said.

“I doubt that.” Youngjin immediately turned down the idea. “Most trainees, if not all, has already know that…”

“And it’s not like if you get advance classes means you’re going to debut soon…”

“Ri-in had advance vocal and intermediate dancing and acting,” The young manager said. “But she got the offer.”

“And Hyoyeon gets the very advance dancing lessons that she trains with the boys most of the time,” Sooyoung pointed out. “But she’s nowhere near debuting.”

“I mean nowhere.”

The brunette elbowed the taller girl’s ribcage and glared at her, and Sooyoung whimpered.

“So then who decides who’s going to debut?” Yuri suddenly asked.

“Well, the director does.” Youngjin explained. “Every three months he holds a meeting with the instructor and managers and some of his trusted advisors to evaluate all trainees and decide if you’re ready for your debut or not…”

“And it’s not as simple as it sounds.” The young manager scratched his head again. “There are factors other than your performance as a trainee that they need to take into consideration…”

“Like what, oppa?” Yoona was getting curious.

“Like the industry,” Youngjin looked passionate. “What’s ‘in’ at the time and what concept suits the new debutant…”

“Will the society accept that concept and will it become huge…”

“I don’t know what else but I learned those from the meetings…”

“I’m just a simple manager after all…”

“A good one, oppa…” The black haired American girl said.

“Thank you, Tiffany…” Youngjin smiled at her comment. “That means a lot…”

“Then when he knew about the two of you the director used his powers to separate you by offering Ri-in to debut?” Hyoyeon looked upset. “What a big bull--”

“--No, no, it was nothing like that…” Youngjin raised his hand to stop the brunette from cursing. “Ri-in is going to get the offer even before that…”

“The company was just looking for the perfect time…” He tried to explain. “… It was just a coincidence that they found out about us just when it was time for them to tell her the news…”

“How can you be sure?” Hyoyeon still think otherwise.

“Because I still have my job.” The young manager stared at the brunette with a sad smile.

“The director could’ve just simply fire me for breaching my contract,” He stared at each girl. “But he let me keep my job and simply made me promise that I would end my relationship with her instead.”

“Oh…” Was the only thing Hyoyeon could say and she stared at her feet, embarrassed by her silly accusations.

“He’s a strict man, the director.” Youngjin continued. “But he’s a fair one at that.”

“He’s like a father figure for us managers, and you’ll see that too when you get to know him.”

“It’s getting late,” Youngjin said after a while. “You girls should head home.”

“I’ll try to ask around about the team placement thing to the other managers,” He said as he stood up from his seat. “But in the mean time you should concentrate on your trainings.”

“Who knows,” He smiled earnestly. “You could be next in line to debut.”

“Thank you, oppa!” The girls showed their appreciation to the young manager and slowly packed their things and prepared to go home.

“Come on, girls, I’ll take you back to the dorm.”

And it was when they were heading to the dorm that Tiffany realized she was sitting in the front passenger seat, just like Ri-in was a couple of days ago. The crescent eyed girl turned to look at the young manager who was driving next to her and saw the tired and sad look. He was forced to end his relationship with the girl he fell in love with from the first sight, and Tiffany could not dare to imagine how painful it was.

“You’ll find someone else, oppa…” Tiffany muttered. “Someone who will make you the happiest…”

“Thank you, Tiffany…” Youngjin smiled as he kept his gaze on the road. “… I hope so too…”

“You will,” The crescent eyed girl looked so sure. “You’re a very kind person…”

“I’m sure there are many girls out there who will love you…”

“Really?” The young manager laughed. “I never knew that…”

“I’m telling the truth, oppa!” Tiffany insisted. “Any girl would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend!”

“Thank you, Tiffany,” He smiled his widest. “Thank you…”

“But you should stop praising me like that or I’m going to fall for you now…” He winked at the crescent eyed girl.

“Oh, oppa!” The black haired American girl playfully slapped his arm. “Haven’t you learned your lesson?”

“You can’t date a trainee!” And they both laughed.

“And besides,” Tiffany added. “You’re not my type.”

“Ouch!” Youngjin pretended to be hurt and they both laughed some more.

It was past midnight when Tiffany sat down on the couch with the pink teddy bear and her diary on her lap. The crescent eyed girl was writing her first sentence when her Jeonju best friend got out from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and sat next to her.

“Pany-ah,” Taeyeon sighed. “Your hair got stuck in the drain again…”

“Oh, really?” Tiffany turned to face the slanted eyed girl. “I’m sorry, Taetae, I’ll make sure I’ll clean them next time.”

“That’s what you said last time.” The shorter girl giggled. “I don’t mind cleaning up once in a while, but lately I noticed the strands are getting thicker.”

“Are you sure you’re not getting bald?”

“Wha-Of course not!” The black haired American girl shouted as she checked her hair. “I just have thick hair, that’s all!”

“If you say so,” Taeyeon laughed. “I’ll buy you some vitamins next time, just in case.”

“My hair doesn’t need vitamins!” Tiffany slapped her best friend’s arm.

“Okay, okay!” The shorter girl laughed even harder. “I was just kidding, jeez…”

“I hate to see my best friend gets bald at such a young age…”

Tiffany pouted and continued to check her hair and noticed a few loose strands. She sighed and quickly imagined if she was really getting bald. Immediately she thought of Jessica, and how she would react if she saw her with sparse hair. And she almost cried when she imagined the blonde girl would hate her and doesn’t want to be friends with her anymore.

“Maybe I need some vitamins after all…” She whined.

“Oh my God, Tiffany,” Taeyeon sighed. “I was only joking…”

“I know,” The crescent eyed girl kept checking her hair. “But it won’t hurt to take precautions…”

“Aww, you silly girl…” The slanted eyed girl giggled as she her American best friend’s hair.

Tiffany felt Taeyeon’s hand on her hair and pulled away, as she didn’t like the feeling. Somehow deep inside she only wanted a certain blonde girl to pet her, and she felt like betraying Jessica’s trust if she let someone else pet her hair.

Taeyeon noticed the gesture and quickly pulled back her hand. She turned to the TV and turned it on and didn’t say a word after that. The slanted eyed girl played with the remote while wondering why Tiffany acted that way. But she brushed it aside and thought that perhaps the crescent eyed girl was still too conscious about her hair.

“You know…” Taeyeon started after a while. “… We’ve heard Youngjin oppa’s side of the story…”

“And now you want to hear Ri-in’s?” Tiffany turned to face her crescent eyed friend.

“Well…” The slanted eyed girl played with the remote “… It’s not that I don’t trust Youngjin oppa…”

“I just wanted to know Ri-in’s point of view…”

The black haired American girl thought of her comment and she also felt curious about what Ri-in had to say. A part of her felt the Chinese girl was being unfair to Youngjin and took the easy way out, while another was telling her that she must had a reason to do so. And if there was another reason then Ri-in must have been struggling with her decision and had no one to share her feelings.

“I also want to hear her story…” Tiffany finally said. “… Ri-in is probably holding back her feelings since neither of us are there to listen to her…”

“Exactly…” The shorter girl nodded.

“Then let’s call her!” The crescent eyed girl said.

“I don’t know…” Taeyeon looked hesitant. “… I don’t want to disturb her…”

“She must have been busy these couple of days…”

“Then let’s text her first,” Tiffany thought of an idea. “Ask her how she is doing.”

“And ask if she’s not too busy to take a phone call.”

The slanted eyed girl seemed to ponder whether they should do it or not before reaching for her cell phone. “Yeah, let’s do that…”

And she quickly sent a text to their Chinese friend and waited for a reply. Both girls stared at the blue cell phone and hoped that Ri-in would text them back.

Taeyeon’s phone rang and both girls were startled as they didn’t expect a phone call. The slanted eyed girl checked her cell and found out who was calling.

“It’s Ri-in!” Taeyeon stared at Tiffany.

“Pick it up!” The crescent eyed girl almost squealed.

“Y-Yeah!” The shorter girl said as she quickly pressed a button.

“H-Hello, Ri-in?” Taeyeon seemed nervous.

“Put her on speaker!” Tiffany said again as she also wanted to hear her former roommate’s voice.

Yes, it’s me, Tae, The Chinese girl replied as Taeyeon put the call on speaker. Don’t tell me you’ve erased my number from your phone already.

“O-Of course not!” The slanted eyed girl looked happy to hear her voice again. “I just didn’t expect you to call!”

“Hi, Ri-in!” Tiffany leaned closer to the phone. “It’s me, Tiffany!”

I know it’s you, Tiffany, Ri-in giggled. I can tell from your loud voice.

“How are you?” The crescent eyed girl ignored the joke. “How’s your debut going? Are you busy? Have you eaten yet? Are you tired? Did we bother you?—“

“—Slow down, Pany-ah!” Taeyeon quickly stopped Tiffany from throwing more questions.

It’s okay, Tae, Ri-in laughed. And the answers are; I’m fine, it’s going great, I’m not at the moment, I have, yes, and no.

“Wow, you have a great memory…” The slanted eyed girl was impressed.

The three of them laughed and chatted for a while. Even though they only had not seen each other for a couple of days, but they felt like it had been for a year. Ri-in told them about how busy she was now that she was about to debut, and how her days were filled with trainings and lessons and more trainings. And she also told them that she was now staying at a slightly nicer dorm and she had a room for herself.

“I’m glad you’re doing okay…” Tiffany said after a while.

Yeah, I’m doing great… Ri-in let out a sigh.

“So…” The crescent eyed girl proceeded cautiously. “… You know you can tell us anything, right?”

“I mean; anything.”

I know, Tiffany, The Chinese girl giggled. And thank you…

“So, um…” The black haired American girl continued. “… Is there anything you would like to share?”

Hmm, I don’t know… Ri-in’s voice seemed puzzled. … What do you want to know?

I mean I already told you everything these last few days…

“Oh…” Tiffany didn’t want to force a confession out of her. “… Okay then…”

Okay… Ri-in simply replied.

And the three girls didn’t know what to say anymore.

Tiffany and Taeyeon could hear Ri-in sighed before she said. “Okay then, I guess it’s time for me to—“

“—We know about you and Youngjin oppa!” Taeyeon blurted out.

Wh-What? The Chinese girl was shocked to hear that.

“Taeyeon!” Tiffany was equally shocked. “Why did you say that?”

“I-I’m sorry…” Taeyeon realized her mistake. “… I couldn’t help it…”

Another silence filled the room, before Ri-in let out another sigh and said, That’s okay, Taeyeon…

I guess you guys would found out sooner or later…

“Ri-in, it’s okay,” The crescent eyed girl said gently. “You don’t have to tell us anything if you’re not comfortable doing it…”

The Chinese girl didn’t say anything for a while, like she was pondering whether to share her story with her two former roommates or not. Taeyeon and Tiffany didn’t want to push her to do something she was not ready, and decided to wait for her respond.

No, it’s okay… Ri-in finally broke the silence. I figure it would be best if you hear the whole thing from me rather than listen to those rumors…

“So you know about the rumors…” Taeyeon said sadly.

It’s hard not to when some girls cornered me and bashed me with the rumors…

“My God…” Tiffany felt sorry for her Chinese friend. “… When?”

Right after I got the offer. Her voice sounded tired.

“Who were they, Ri-in?” The slanted eyed girl asked; she seemed upset.

It doesn’t matter, Taeyeon. Ri-in said. There’s nothing you can do right now…

Jang Ri-in took a deep breath and started to tell her point of view of the whole situation. She told them that she didn’t feel anything when she first met Youngjin, and only thought of him as a nice manager. She told them that she knew that the young manager was interested in her, but she didn’t think it was something serious.

But as time passed and they grew closer to each other, she admitted her feelings for him grew too. She told them how she grew to like him as more than a manager and a friend, and how she thought about the kind man all the time. She told them how she wanted to see him all the time; and how she loved hearing him talk. Every word he said, every look he gave her, and every touches he made sent shivers all over her body. And she couldn’t get enough of the sensation, and she wanted more. And she wanted to be near him all the time.

That was when the girls noticed their attraction towards each other, and started to tease them. Ri-in told them that she initially tried to suppress her feelings for him, knowing that the company wouldn’t allow their relationship. She tried so hard to act normal whenever Youngjin’s around, as she didn’t want their feelings to grow even deeper. But it was a futile attempt, because every moment she spent with the young manager she fell in love with him even more.

And one day she got what she longed for when Youngjin asked her to hang out with him one night. Her heart was jumping in joy and she immediately agreed. It was a simple date, she told her two friends, as they only went out for a movie and hang out at a café downtown. But it was the best night she ever had, and she didn’t want it to end. Ri-in told them how Youngjin confessed to her that night, after a bottle of soju, and she was swept by the moment and admitted that she had feelings for him too. Ri-in then told Taeyeon and Tiffany how they ended the night with a soft kiss that sent shivers all over her body, more powerful than any shiver she had felt before, and how she thought she would pass out to the sensation.

It was that very moment that she knew that she had fell in love with Youngjin, and it was that very moment that they became a couple. The next few days were like a fairytale for Ri-in, as they were filled with butterflies and cotton candies, as she described them. Butterflies and cotton candies, Tiffany repeated what Ri-in just said in her mind. And thinking about those two things somehow reminded her of a certain blonde girl she knew. The crescent eyed girl shooked her head and tried to

But it was a short lived happiness, Ri-in said, as after a few days the director summoned them to his office and told them about the rumors. The Chinese girl cried when she told them how they were left with no choice but to admit their relationship; and the director then gave her the offer. Both Ri-in and Youngjin were shocked by the news and couldn’t say anything at the time, so the director decided to gave her a few days to think.

Ri-in sobbed as she told them how she spent the next couple of days weighing the options presented to her. She called her family back in China and told them everything, and they were kind enough not to judge her and simply said that it was her decision to make and they would support her no matter what.

Tiffany started to cry when Ri-in told them how she finally made the decision. She told them how she decided it was best for them to end their relationship, as she thought their blossoming love would only bring them more problem and sadness. She told them that she didn’t want Youngjin to have to find another job, not when she knew how the young manager loved his work, and she was sure his current job would give him a bright future. And she certainly didn’t want to have to waste her trainings here and find another agency, as she had given too much to get to where she was right now.

It was a difficult decision, a heartbreaking one, she told them, and every night she hoped it was all just a dream, but she knew she had to make the decision. Not just for her, but for Youngjin as well.

And with that she ended her story and the three girls couldn’t say anything after.

“Do you still love him?” Tiffany finally said after she had dried her tears.

Yes, Tiffany, Ri-in was still crying at the time. I still love him…

It’s not like I can just forget my feelings for him over a week…

“I’m sorry…” The crescent eyed girl regretted having to ask that question. “… I shouldn’t have asked something so obvious…”

That’s okay… The Chinese girl sounded really tired now.

Just… Don’t trust those rumors, okay? She let out a deep sigh. I don’t know what I would do if you believed those rumors too…

“Of course we won’t, Ri-in!” Taeyeon quickly said. “We know you wouldn’t do something like that!”

Yeah, thanks… Both Tiffany and Taeyeon knew how much she needed their support right now.

Look, I have to go, okay? Ri-in said. I have to get up early tomorrow…

“O-Okay, Ri-in.” The slanted eyed girl said. “You have a good rest, okay?”

Okay, thanks, Tae… I’ll see you guys around…

“Okay, Ri-in…” Taeyeon was sad to end their conversation. “Bye…”

Bye…

“And good luck on your debut!” Tiffany managed to squeeze in a word of encouragement before the Chinese girl hung up.

Taeyeon put her cell phone down and let out a deep sigh. Tiffany leaned back on the couch and hugged her pink teddy bear. Both girls had just heard a heartbreaking story and they felt like they needed time to really grasp the situation.

Taeyeon was thinking how sad it was to lose your love because everyone was against it. She didn’t understand why society created boundaries and rules to bound and restrict who you could love. Why couldn’t everyone be free to love whomever they want? And the slanted eyed girl couldn’t stop her tears from dropping. She knew she had a love similar to her Chinese friend, and she knew how forbidden it was for the world. Her head spun, her heart sank and her body turned limp at the thought. She knew nothing good was going to happen from her love. And in her mind she blamed and cursed the world for being unfair.

The slanted eyed girl took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself and wiped her tears. She wasn’t going to let Tiffany saw her crying and weak. She didn’t want anyone to see how fragile she was. She made a mistake of showing her weakness once, and shared her feelings to her best friend at the time, only to had her so called best friend stared at her like she was looking at something so disgusting and horrible comments about how ugly and dirty her heart was. After that she had managed to put up a strong calm act, and she wasn’t going to let that image of her crumbles now.

“I’m going to bed.” Taeyeon said as she managed to summon her last strength and rushed towards their shared bedroom.

Tiffany didn’t answer her; in fact she was not listening at all. The crescent eyed girl was occupied by her own thoughts. She was still feeling sorry for Ri-in and Youngjin, and her brain was working hard to find an idea or solution for their relationship. But she couldn’t find anything. She really wanted to help them but she could think of anything. And she blamed and cursed herself for being so useless. Her friend needed her help and she couldn’t do nothing.

And what if Jessica needed my help? Her mind wondered to the blonde girl. What if she got stuck in a similar situation?

No! She wouldn’t get into such a situation…

Her heart ached when she thought of the blue eyed girl having a relationship with a manager. And she quickly thought of Donghae, and somehow she grew angry.

No! She promised me she wouldn’t date anyone as long as she’s still a trainee… Her heart shouted.

But then how about when she becomes an idol? Her mind whispered. Would it be alright if she dates then?

And her tears fell when she thought of Jessica dating.

Why am I crying? She quickly wiped her tears. She’s allowed to date anyone she likes. It’s bound to happen…

Are you jealous of your best friend dating?

No! I’m not! She covered her face with her pink teddy bear.

Then why are you crying? Her mind kept throwing questions. Why are you so against her dating?

I just… I just… She tried to think of a reason. I’m just afraid that she’ll forget me once she found someone she likes…

And her mind asked no more. Tiffany let out a sigh of relief and looked up.

Yeah, that’s the reason. She tried to convince herself. That’s the only reason…