Taekwoon did not sleep well. He knew what he’d felt. Tiamat had returned. And she had spoken with Chaerin. But he did not know what their conversation had been about. For a very short time, he thought he’d seen them in Trance space, but he was equally certain the dragon god had set up some kind of barrier around them. And it stayed up long after he felt Tiamat leave... Of course it made for a troubling night of stolen winks and perpetual uncertainty. That also meant his morning was just as full of questions, but now he was even more tired.

            She waking, his dragon warned in a gentle voice, startling Taekwoon into full awareness.

            The barrier in Trance was still up but when he stepped into the physical world again, he could indeed see that both Chaerin and Fei were rousing from their slumber. With hooded eyes, he watched her movements without blinking. They seemed surprised… subdued… maybe a little skittish as they got up. Notably, they did not look in his direction except for a very quick and furtive glance.

            Beyond them, the other dragons and riders were waking and beginning to move around in turn, though Taekwoon only spared them a fragment of his attention. Jongup kept a more watchful eye on the general camp while the rider focused on Chaerin specifically. As he wondered what happened to her, his dragon told him the riders were getting food and the dragons were convening to get ready for the next leg of their flight.

            Taekwoon nodded in acknowledgement, but they weren’t his concern. What if Tiamat had done something to possess Chaerin? He knew she’d left but he didn’t know what the dragon gods were capable of. Bahamut had hidden completely in Jinki after all. What was there to say something similar hadn’t happened here? That possibility was bad enough, but the biggest question was why? Other than her connection to the High Priest, it didn’t seem like a good enough reason to catch Tiamat’s undivided attention. The only reason it had happened previously was because they had drawn her attention and then challenged her…

            Wing leader coming, Jongup murmured with a light nudge against Taekwoon’s side with his nose. A sudden surge of irritation from Taekwoon surprised them both and his dragon snorted on him with a gust of warm air. Worried.

            I know, the rider mentally grimaced as he kept his physical expression carefully neutral. While he knew it was Insoo’s responsibility to check on his riders, he was also aware this was more. Even Taekwoon knew he wasn’t acting well. He just didn’t much care when his world had suddenly become darker and more painful without the promise of something better in the future. Still… as Insoo approached, he looked up to meet his wing leader’s eyes.

            Insoo stopped abruptly, his face flickering in a quickly controlled spasm of surprise. And maybe some nervousness. But he quickly steeled himself and forced a smile he couldn’t have felt. “Morning,” he called, taking a small step closer while he extended a wooden bowl in Taekwoon’s direction.

            Taekwoon grunted in acknowledgement and glanced at the bowl but didn’t reach for it. He didn’t feel hungry. Rider… his dragon chided him with mild disappointment and genuine concern. Apparently his dragon felt he wasn’t eating enough lately.

            Stifling a sigh, Taekwoon blinked and tried to make his face move into something less… blank. By Insoo’s twitching brows, it was clear he hadn’t achieved a smile. “Morning,” he murmured back, reaching for the bowl before pulling it close. At least when he was looking at his food, he wasn’t likely to scare Insoo off. “Thanks,” he added when Jongup gave him another mental nudge.

            Insoo sighed and squat down in Taekwoon’s peripheral vision. “It’s not the best but it’s better than nothing.” It was an empty platitude meant to fill the silence and they both knew it. “How ya holding up?” he asked eventually, the question soft and hesitant. Taekwoon glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes and then looked back down to take a tasteless bite of food.

            He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to say anything but Jongup was literally hovering expectantly and Insoo deserved something… He had left him mostly well enough alone until now after all. Taekwoon took a breath and grimaced. “Not… well.”

            “Right,” Insoo exhaled in response, obvious embarrassment in his tone. “I just- we are here, you know? You can tal-” he stopped himself short with a frustrated sound. “You can just be with us, Taekwoon.”

            There was something about his wing leader’s tone that very nearly made Taekwoon look up. Nearly. But for the first time in days, he did feel something more than sadness and pain and desperation: guilt. It was the tiniest of shards and yet, it cut a fine line somewhere in him. He swallowed. “Not yet.” His voice was a wisp of sound. “But… thanks,” he added, glancing up quickly once before fixing his eyes on his food again. “Oof!” he coughed when Jongup laid his head on Taekwoon’s lap, flooding him with a sense of satisfaction and fleeting contentment.

            Insoo huffed a single laugh and brushed his fingers lightly against the blue dragon’s head. “You’ve got a good dragon here,” he praised warmly, attention clearly directed to his wing mate. “Just know that you’re missed and we’ll be waiting for you, alright?” he asked, the question more rhetorical in nature. He didn’t wait for an answer before he got up and wandered off, footsteps a little quicker than necessary.

            Good, Jongup approved, shifting his head on his rider’s lap.

            The word summoned conflicting feelings. He was glad to feel his dragon’s favor, the positive sensation helping to shore up all the cracks of his currently broken self. But it needled at his guilt and pried at the edges of the cut. Of course he wasn’t alright. Losing anyone he cared about would have been bad enough. But he’d lost his other half, the man who had always supported him and helped guide him in this world, and his dragon, a companion with which he’d literally traded a part of his spirit with. He still felt hollow, like a ghost of himself, no matter how much Jongup tried to fill the empty space. Worse, they would probably think him crazy or imagining things with the latest glimmers of feeling he’d been experiencing.

            Believe you, Jongup sighed, his breath warming Taekwoon’s right side.

            Thanks, Taekwoon exhaled, rubbing the blue’s head with a slow hand before he set the bowl to the side. His dragon wasn’t happy about it, but truly, he had no appetite. And whatever illusion of hunger he might have had vanished completely when the hair on the back of his neck prickled. He glanced over and saw Chaerin looking at him. She flinched in surprise and looked away, trying to act natural, but it was stiff and forced.

            Taekwoon didn’t pull his gaze away so he saw when she glanced back in his direction once more. This time, he watched her face twitch as she obviously tried to decide what to do in that breath. He was mildly surprised when she conjured a weak smile and waved at him. It was not reassuring so he narrowed his eyes, trying to decide if that was Chaerin or something else… His direct scrutiny unnerved her and she looked away, purposefully getting up and changing positions to alter their view of each other.

            He was about to say something to his dragon before Jongup preempted him. I ready, he promised, a wary firmness obvious in his tone.

            Good, Taekwoon responded in satisfaction. He would not let a repeat of the Bahamut incident happen if he could help it. No matter what.

            Of course that was much easier said than done. He didn’t even know what he was looking or waiting for. Last time, he’d had a theory at least, albeit a terrible one. Now, it just seemed like he was the only one aware of something being off and the rest of the dragons and riders continuing like normal. Even Gain, who was normally aware of things most weren’t, appeared lulled into a false sense of complacency.

            Tired. Heart sick, Jongup explained without being asked.

            Why? Taekwoon couldn’t help but wonder. She’d always seemed untouchable before.

            He paused to think for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Many friends lose. Many friends hurt. Only Paramour for all. Think… know some for long time, he murmured, the tone shifting from thoughtful to sad in a heartbeat.

            Immediately, he felt anger raise its head as he shoved all the comfort he could through their bond. Anger at Tiamat for her role in their pain. Anger at Bahamut for causing so much pain. Anger at the High Priest for just about everything. And anger at himself for his own helplessness and not being able to see the losses others might have felt too. The hole in him ached and he grimaced with his teeth bared. With his gaze locked on the horizon, he growled, We will find a way to stop them. We will avenge those we have lost, he added, his skin tingling with the ghost of a familiar sensation.

            How? Jongup softly keened, anguish reaching for him in that moment.

            I don’t know, Taekwoon hissed as he blinked once. Taking a breath, he shifted his focus to Chaerin, glaring daggers at her back as they flew ahead of them. But I have an idea about where to start.

            Rider, his dragon murmured uncertainly, conflicted by the idea.

            It took him a few breaths, but Taekwoon gripped his anger and squashed it down, allowing him to look at Chaerin normally once more. It likely wasn’t her fault about what had happened with Tiamat. Whatever that was. But she probably knew something or suspected something at the very least. What does Fei say about her rider?

            Jongup twitched uncomfortably beneath him and shook his head. Maybe worried but no speak to me.

            Only you or other dragons too? He asked for clarification, glancing around the group with a quick look. He noticed Jungkook looking his way with a moderately concerned expression, but he didn’t acknowledge it, focusing instead on his current thought. The anger he had right now was better than the pain and sadness previously. Both were still there, but anger was a familiar – and welcome – companion, never mind it was also far more useful.

            Maybe others too.

            Hmm, he exhaled, face pinched in thought. Try asking some of the other dragons. Maybe they will know something.

            You sure? Jongup wondered, a little confused.

            Yes, Taekwoon answered, his mouth firm as he looked ahead. In front of them, he could just see the sea that separated Bondsland from Kinshire, but they would not make it before dark. He knew they’d stop once more to call it a night and probably camp on the coast again before trying to make the final jump over the waters. That would give him some time to figure out when or how to approach Chaerin at least.

            For the rest of the flying time, he felt Jongup sending questing comments among the dragons. By the way the riders paid him no mind, it seemed clear his dragon was avoiding his wing mates for now. The general consensus the blue relayed was that Fei seemed distracted but no one had thought anything was too out of the ordinary, whatever that was during these times. Though Taekwoon had to laugh when Jongup told him he told Gunwoo and shortly after, Fei looked back at them with a very annoyed quirk to and eyes.

            That did it, he commented in dark amusement. The sensation lingered when Chaerin started looking around a couple breaths later. She eventually turned all the way around and saw him watching. Her expression flickered between the annoyance her dragon had shown and uncertainty. After a moment, her face contorted again and she flashed him a frustrated scowl before looking ahead once more.

            It was an interesting reaction and Taekwoon didn’t quite know what to think. In his periphery, he saw Jungkook watching him again, though this time Hyunseong was too, the pair riding together in lieu of the latter flying with his sister. Taekwoon ignored them as he became thoughtful again. What did you tell Gunwoo?

            That Fei not talking to me and I sad because not know why, was the quick answer.

            True enough, he nodded in subdued approval. Leave it to Insoo’s dragon to be a busybody too. Good job, Uppie, he praised, patting the blue hide with a light hand. His dragon preened under the acknowledgment and settled into the last part of their flight before they tried to find a place to set down for the night.

            Taekwoon bided his time as they landed and set up camp. He could still feel almost hostile glances from Jungkook and Hyunseong but no one else paid him any attention. Gain did come back to check on Jongup herself – apparently word had gotten around to her – and they talked for a bit. On impulse, Taekwoon reached his hand out towards the gold dragon and then paused when he realized what he was doing. But by then, Gain had seen him move and swung her head around to focus on him directly. He’d avoided her for days, but with her golden eyes pinning him in place, he was frozen and unable to move.

            She tilted her head to the side and blinked slowly before she extended her neck and pressed her nose into his palm. Taekwoon inhaled in mild surprise, looking at where they were touching and then back into her gaze. It would have been so easy for her to pull him into Trance just then, but maybe she could tell he didn’t want it. Not right now. No. She just looked at him with orbs that could have been windows to his own. His heart clenched as he saw understanding in her eyes; true acknowledgement of what he’d lost. He swallowed hard when his eyes grew misty and tears drew salty paths down his cheeks.

            Abruptly he pulled away and wiped at his cheeks, breaking contact. He didn’t want her understanding. It hurt too much. And right now, he knew he needed to hold onto his anger. At least for a little while longer.

            Gain didn’t take offense. He could practically feel her sad acceptance even without going into Trance. She simply sighed, warm breath ghosting over him like a seasonal breeze, and then nuzzled his head oh so carefully.

            He stood like a rock, expression stony and focused on the ground. It was a relief when she turned away and spoke with Jongup once more before moving to the other dragons. When she was gone, he took a steadying breath and wiped at his face one more time. Still looking down, he wandered to the back of Jongup and used the base of his tail to lean on as he collected himself. “Paramours,” he grumbled quietly, trying to shore up his inner walls so he could stay focused.

            Jongup’s tail curled to wrap loosely around his calves, letting him know he wasn’t alone even if they couldn’t directly see each other just then. Taekwoon placed his hand on the blue’s back, feeling the prominent ridge of the dragon’s backbone under his palm, and took a deep breath. One more and he was back on his way to being steady once again.

            When he finally turned his attention outward, he saw that Chaerin was watching him with Jungkook and Hyunseong in attendance. Taekwoon met their eyes and then continued with a further scan of the group. As somewhat expected, Insoo was keeping a curious eye on them and even Wooyoung, Jinyoung, and Taeyeon were paying closer attention to the group’s dynamics. It wasn’t surprising since the dragons had probably been speaking at least a little bit with their riders. On the other hand, it did mean that speaking with Chaerin alone would probably be a bit more difficult.

            With a grimace, he stalked over to his pack on Jongup’s back and yanked one of his last travel rations from it. Like usual, he still didn’t feel hungry but he didn’t want to eat with the others and at least this gave him an excuse to wander to the edge of their group to be alone. As he gnawed on the stale piece of crumbly bread with chewy meat inside, he half hoped someone would come and bother him. Well, anyone but Insoo. His personal guilt wouldn’t let that possibility rise to the fore so easily. But part of him wanted to have some kind of fight; he just didn’t know what or why. He was simply agitated and frustrated and unsettled again.

            For a breath, he thought he heard someone approaching and his skin tingled in anticipation, belly tightening in response. But then he heard a hushed call. “Jungkook, don’t. Just leave him be.” No… Chaerin apparently wasn’t going to let them confront him today. Again, he had to wonder if it was her or Tiamat. Taekwoon very nearly turned to look and see if he might catch a glimpse of the dragon god in her eyes, but he delayed too long and figured he’d missed his chance.

            “Ugh…” the conflicted rider groaned, setting his unfinished ration aside. With another huff, he crossed his arms over his folded knees and let his forehead fall on top. Nothing was easy anymore. Nothing made sense.

            He didn’t know how long he had been resting there when Jongup eventually made his way over. Like usual, the blue settled on his left side, guarding his healing wounds. He curled his neck around to block off the front and extended a wing over Taekwoon to try and protect him from the outside, flooding their bond with the reassurance that he was not alone. In this safe space, Taekwoon turned into the warmth of Jongup’s neck and curled close.

            Drifting in and out of full consciousness, Taekwoon listened when Jongup kept him informed of what the rest of the camp was doing. Like any regular wing, they ate together; talked together; worried about home, the journey, the dragons, the injured… Taekwoon; and tried to come up with a strategy for the next leg of the flight. They worried too about the intimidating silence from the dragon gods. It did not bode well for them to be so quiescent of late.

            But no one had any real ideas – that they were willing to volunteer anyway – so the night ended like every other night so far. The riders split off into their usual pairs and groupings and the dragons slept or kept watch for them all as necessary. Sometime during the evening, Taekwoon came back around to full consciousness with the feeling that he was being watched. Peeking out from under Jongup’s mostly pulled back wing, he exhaled as he saw Chaerin at the edge of his vision. The moonlight was poor but of the two women, she didn’t resemble Taeyeon enough to be the other rider. Not to mention Taeyeon had no reason to see him herself.

            “What are you doing?” he asked tiredly, lacking the care and energy to try to be subtle or cunning in that moment.

            “Couldn’t sleep,” she murmured, making sure to keep her voice low while she drew closer. Behind her, a pale shadow moved and Taekwoon could see that Fei was keeping a close eye on both of them.

            Another pale shadow shifted in his periphery though and he raised a brow in confusion when he saw it was a silver dragon. He blanched like he tasted something bad, the understanding that it was probably Hero stirring a plethora of unwanted and conflicting feelings in him. “Why not?” he asked, trying to distract himself.

            She didn’t answer at first, fidgeting in place where she sat down in front of him. “If something was bothering you, you could have just asked,” she deflected instead, pulling at the grass under the debris around her.

            Taekwoon watched her for a few breaths, trying to decide once again who was talking. If she was possessed, what he wanted to do might be dangerous. But if not… Taekwoon took a breath and shrugged to himself. What more did he have to lose? While he still wasn’t rested, he felt grounded enough to at least take a step forward. On quiet feet, he stood up and closed the distance between them until he was standing over her looking down. She was so distracted with her own frustration that it took her a moment to notice. When she did, she flinched and stared up, meeting his eyes uncertainly. He could see no hint of the dragon god’s silver eyes in hers.

            “What?” she asked in a whisper, left arm raised defensively between them.

            “What did Tiamat want with you?” he asked just as quietly, keeping his voice low but his gaze steady, unblinking.

            It was obvious she was not ready for that question. Her eyes went wide and she looked around quickly before she grabbed his hand and yanked him closer, nearly making him fall in the process. He had to use her shoulder to support himself and it brought their faces much closer together than either anticipated. But while it flustered Chaerin by the way her eyes darted about his face, not sure where to look, Taekwoon felt no such consternation. He just wanted an answer. “Ugh!” she scowled quietly, grabbing his shoulder and shoving him the rest of the way down to try and make their position less awkward. “What is wrong with you?!” she hissed, looking around again with a pained expression.

            “I’m waiting for your answer,” he murmured, looking at her with the same focused intensity as the first time he’d felt Tiamat in her.

            “No wonder you didn’t ask me earlier,” she scowled, slouching over her crossed legs and looking away, cheeks dark in the dim light.

            “Chaerin,” he called, reaching out to grab her wrist in a firm grip, making her look at him. “Tiamat.”

            “How did you know?” she whispered in a worried tone, eyes wide.

            “Does it matter?”

            Chaerin grimaced and looked away. When she didn’t look back fast enough, Taekwoon tightened his grip just enough to make her wince. She tried to tug away reactively but he held fast and continued to wait. “I’m not like Jinki, you know.”

            “That’s not what I asked,” he hissed darkly, leaning closer as he fought down the immediate surge of irrational anger that followed the statement.

            They were both surprised by a very quiet warning growl nearby. Together, they looked over and saw the faint outline of a dragon head sliding into their view. Silver. Wary. Hero. The two riders grimaced at his appearance and then jerked in surprise as two answering growls rose from nearby. At the same time, they looked over their shoulders and saw their dragons rising up to challenge the silver. Blue and gold stalked forward with wings partially mantled and fangs bared. Quiet hisses escaped their clenched teeth and the silver looked… confused.

            Taekwoon checked the other direction to make sure there was no one else nearby and leaned close enough to whisper into Chaerin’s ear. “What did Tiamat want!?”

            She grabbed his arm hard, fingers digging into leather covered flesh. “You.”

            “Why?” he asked, pulling away enough to look into her face again with furrowed brows.

            This time, she didn’t flush or pull away as she searched his face. They were close enough that his breath made the hair framing her face flutter but she simply shook her head. “I don’t know.” Looking down, she exhaled. “I was trying to think of why but she didn’t tell me.”

            “Why you?” he asked, using his free hand to pick her chin up so she’d look at him again.

            Chaerin’s mouth thinned and she wrinkled her nose once before she answered. “She wants me to take you to her.”

            Taekwoon searched her face again, almost willing the dragon god to show up in her eyes this time. But she didn’t appear and there was nothing left but more questions. Only he didn’t really have time to ask about them. Wing mate waking, Jongup warned, making his rider inhale sharply.

            “Someone’s awake,” he warned, abruptly shoving her away and scrambling back to where Jongup had been resting earlier.

            “What?” she gasped, obviously surprised and confused.

            But he ignored her and laid down, calling his dragon back to join him. Jongup quickly settled over his rider, one wing covering him and head curling around protectively, playing along with the ruse. Taekwoon could feel the shift in the air – the uncertainty and confusion left in their wake. He strained to hear what might happen next.

            “Chaerin?” Of course it would be Insoo…

            “Insoo,” she mumbled in response, her voice almost too low to hear.

            “You alright?” their wing leader asked with gentle prodding.

            “Yeah,” she forced, the hint of a nervous laugh hedging into her voice. “I was just checking on him, you know?”

            Silence followed the statement and it made Taekwoon nervous. “Woo mentioned you guys might have been arguing?” he prompted hesitantly.

            Curse Hero’s meddling. Taekwoon grimaced and wondered how she’d explain it or if he’d need to ‘wake up’ suddenly to help. He was pleasantly surprised by her answer though. “Oh, that?” she forced a quiet laugh that almost came off as natural. “We both couldn’t sleep so I came over to ask him about what Gunwoo told Fei earlier. That was all,” she assured him with pretty convincing firmness.

            “So you were talking and then… he fell asleep? Just like that?” he wondered, obviously aware he was missing something.

            Chaerin laughed in uncertain embarrassment, her voice straining. “I was- he was-” she struggled for a second, tone colored with very real frustration. “He didn’t want you to get the wrong idea,” she finally promised, voice shifting like she was moving with the motions.

            “Wrong idea?” Insoo questioned earnestly.

            Taekwoon could practically feel Chaerin’s likely internal groan. “You know…” she trailed off, obviously reluctant to give a greater explanation. “Him and me alone. A man and woman. My inner dragon and him…” she trailed off in very real embarrassment.

            “Oh. Ooohhh. Oh?” His three utterances followed the very amusing pattern of general acknowledgement, understanding of the implied, and genuine surprise. “That… explains a bit,” he mused. Taekwoon could just imagine his brows furrowing like they often did when he was thinking.

            “Yeah,” Chaerin stated, her voice still quiet but firm this time.

            “Are you sure everything’s okay? Gunwoo says Hero isn’t so positive,” he relayed, concern evident in his tone.

            “Yes, Insoo. Everything’s fine,” she reassured him with all the false confidence she could muster. “If I’d been in trouble, I would have called for help or had Fei do it for me,” she promised, that statement at least being sincere.

            “Alright,” Insoo sighed, voice timbre changing like he’s shifted directions. “I just have to make sure of these things, you know?”

            “Yes, wing leader,” Chaerin agreed, the sound of her voice also changing.

            They were walking away. Taekwoon could tell by their diminishing sounds, but Jongup was also keeping an eye on them. And Hero who seemed justifiably miffed about being cast aside. But Taekwoon had few thoughts to spare for the silver dragon. He was grateful Chaerin had felt it necessary to keep up the ruse of normalcy. He knew why he thought it was important, but he didn’t know why she had gone along.

            It was just… even if she wasn’t like Jinki… he needed to understand. He needed to know why Tiamat wanted to see him; he needed to make sure no one else got pulled into it. Maybe it was foolhardiness or genuine insanity, but he didn’t think they’d be able to actually meet the dragon god one on one. It was hubris, he knew, to think he could, but he’d done it once before and survived. Barely. But he had.

            He still didn’t understand why she had not sought him out specifically, but it didn’t matter. Tiamat was looking for him. And he had no qualms about actually meeting her. Truth be told, in his heart of hearts, he ersely hoped she might be able to tell him what had happened to Jinki if nothing else. He knew Jonghyun had been killed. He’d felt the brutal severing of their bond. And he’d seen Bahamut take over Jinki’s form, but… was he gone too or was there something left…?

            He didn’t know why the dragon god wanted to see him, but if she could answer that, he was more than willing to meet with her. Whatever the outcome might be.

(a/n: Not gonna lie, I struggled a bit with this chapter. If it seems a little all over the place, that's why and I apologize. I think real world events might be muddying the waters and influencing the shifts here, but I do hope you enjoy the update all the same. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, but otherwise, I hope that you're enjoying the story! If nothing else, have a wonderful day and please look forward to the next update! Thank you!)