Hello guys ^_^

Finally, I can update this chapter. I'm sorry it took me long to update this. I have so much idea on this story, but confused to write it. So yeah, it took me time to write.

But because your comment, saying me you can't wait me to update, so I gain my energy to write.

Thank you so much for waiting.

So, here is it. I hope I don't dissapointed you.

Happy reading :)

Every morning , I will wake up with swollen eyes after crying all night . this has happened for one week . I hated my life , why did God give this temptation to me ? why am I so stupid that I can forget my memories ? And why I'm quick to forgive him and to love him? Is this karma ? What about my fiance who now rest in peace ? He was so good that I can't bear to betray him. I hated myself. This isn't James and Jongin 's fault. But I am, I'm the one who is wrong . I'm the one who let them to love me , to caress me and why my heart is soft to love them? I felt dirty for loving the two of them who are very good and sincere love to me.

I was acted in front of my parent to show them that I’m fine. That everything is okay. Every time I come out of my room, I would smile to all of them and show my happy face, but truth is I was dying inside. I miss him so much. But I don’t know who I miss, James or Jongin.

I went to graveyard to see Jongin. His smile is so pure in that picture. He was looking at me. I look at his eyes and smile sadly. Why a person like him left in the young age? Why God brought him? I can’t see his smile again, I can’t hear his sweet talk again, I can’t feel his soft lip again, I can’t hold his warm hand again, I can’t hug him and rest my head on his shoulder again.  Everything is gone. He was gone, to a better place than here. He left me, he left …………... me.

I break down holding my hurt chest, remember of him. How cruel is this world?

“You have to take care of your body. You look so skinny.” I didn’t look back hearing someone speak to me. I process his voice in my mind. I think I know who he is.

“You don’t look fine.” He came beside me looking at Jongin’s picture. He smile, still his gaze didn’t move from Jongin’s picture.

“Jongin wouldn’t like seeing you break down like this.” He looked at me and rubbing my arm.

“What are you doing here?” I looked at him with tears in my eyes.

“I always came here Irene. Every once in a week. To accompany him, to let him know that we never forget him, so he can smile and happy in heaven.” His bright smile faded, change into sad smile. “Irene, want me to tell you a story?” He looked at me, his eyes were hurt.

“Go on Chanyeol.”

“He come to my house. The day before the …………………. Accident.” He shut his eyes, trying to not cry. “He told me that he was glad and happy to meet you. He was glad that your parents set an arrange married for both of you. Because he can know what love is. He was so happy that he want you to smile and happy all the time. I never saw him in that way, smiling so lovingly. He must be really love you, Irene. You are only girl that he love. Do you know when you were with James, he almost letting you go, because if that’s happiness for you, he will do anything for you? Even he have to hurt himself.” He looking at me and ruffle my hair. “I saw you with James at the party last month. I can see the way you see him. You love him.” He take a breath and take out some small box from his pocket. “This is a gift from Jongin. I’m sure this is for you. He left it in my apartment that night. I never open this and always bring it everywhere, making sure to give it to you when I saw you.” He handed me the box in my hand and rub my palm. “Jongin wants you to be happy, Irene.” He said

“Jong.” I try to breath, it looks like I can’t spell his name, knowing he was gone. “-in. He-he is gone, He’s g-gone. He’s gone.” My body can’t hold me any longer, I was fall on the floor, covering my face trying to breath and crying hard.

I didn’t know how long I have been here. Chanyeol already left. I looked at a small box in my hand. I open it and saw a white gold bracelet. There’s a small letter there wrote “J <3 I, Always & Forever” I smile looking at the bracelet. Sure, Jongin is so romantic yet little of childish. But I love Jongin because of that.

I stood up and looked at Jongin’s picture once again. “Jongin, I want to tell you that you will always in my heart forever.” I hold my tears and smile “I love you. Always and forever.” I kiss my hand and put it on Jongin’s lip. I stepped back, bowing my head and looked at Jongin’s picture for the last time before I left.

“I’m home.” I walked into dining room seeing my father reading a book in the kitchen table and my mom prepare a food for dinner. I kiss my mom’s cheek and my father’s cheek.