Nights probably didn’t get much darker than this. It was as if the whole essence of darkness was concentrated in the empty living room, on the large windowsill, around the window and on the distant lights of the city. The pure dark nothing was wrapped around the neon lights bellow, not even the heavy rain that was pouring down with no mercy was able to wash it away, and it also had somehow clung on to HongBin.

Tomorrow was the day his destiny would take a true form. Up till now it was just a promise, just a hope  - an empty word that rang around his head and brought his practice and stress worn down body and soul down. It was like a ton of insecurities laid on his shoulders and he had to admit he was scared of his future, of the fact will he ever be able to share the same path as his friends, the people he loved and adored like brothers and maybe, just maybe, a bit more than that.

HongBin let out a sigh and pulled his knees closer to him, hugging his calves as he was sitting on the windowsill next to the large window in the dorm, and rested his chin on the knees, looking outside. Everything was dark and blurry, the usually pretty and bright city lights a mess behind the night and rain. Maybe they weren’t so bright before as well? Maybe it was an illusion?

He had had these doubts before; he had run away and had been brought back. Yet this time he couldn’t even pinpoint was it only stress that was getting to him or he was genuinely afraid. He had to admit he felt more like the last option was true.

“Why are you not sleeping?” a soft voice spoke next to him and HongBin looked up, meeting TaekWoon looking down at him. The older was usually a sound sleeper, but the weight of the upcoming day probably kept even someone as composed as him awake.

“I’m just thinking about things,” HongBin admitted, knowing well enough that he couldn’t lie to TaekWoon even when he tried to. He just couldn’t.

“About what?” the older sat down on the windowsill in front of HongBin. He didn’t usually pester HongBin with questions, but the distress in the younger one’s face was probably so evident, even TaekWoon was concerned.

“About tomorrow. I just feel like they will not pick me and I won’t be able to ever stand on stage with you and others,” HongBin confessed freely. “I feel as if this is not meant to be and this is the last evening I am spending here and this is the last conversation we will ever have,” he let out a shaky breath and turned his head to the window, few strands of his long hair falling out of the messy bun he had made on top of his head in attempt to control the madness on his head.

“They will pick you. You shouldn’t worry,” TaekWoon’s voice softly pierced through the dark. “I can’t promise that I will be on the stage with you or any other of the hyungs, but I know that you will definitely debut,” he continued and HongBin looked at him as much as his messy bangs allowed him to.

Unexpectedly TaekWoon’s warm hands smoothed the disobedient strands of hair away, resting on HongBin’s cheeks and rested on them, gently cupping HongBin’s face. The darkness that had wrapped around HongBin’s mind and body began to melt away and he hope it would step back completely.

“We will give a great group performance and I have confidence in your singing, so have some yourself as well,” TaekWoon added and HongBin nodded. He pulled his legs away from his torso and without waiting for an invite wrapped his arms around TaekWoon, hiding against his chest.

“I will be as confident as I can,” he murmured and already wanted to pull away with a small ‘thank you’, but arms wrapped around him instead and he remained where he was.

“Good,” TaekWoon almost whispered and it could have been HongBin’s imagination but he felt something pressing against his hairline right above his forehead and he could have sworn TaekWoon had just kissed him lightly there, but he decided not to ask or point it out because the city lights were once again bright and shining even through the rain.

The darkness was gone and HongBin felt safe and secure about what a new day would bring.

~ Almost 3 years later. ~

The same gloomy feeling HongBin had had years ago was creeping on him again. It hid in the corners of the living room and crept at him from the streets bellow the grand window. It was pouring insanely just like that night and he felt the weight, the responsibility pressing him down again.  Once again he was in front of starting something new and he was scared, frightened.

Being an MC was not as easy as it seemed and the very thought of speaking live, hosting a show made his palms to sweat and hands to shake. He was and wasn’t ready at the same time and the same feeling of insecurity, of being extremely vulnerable started to win over him.

“Why are you not sleeping?” a voice he knew and recognized anywhere asked quietly and HongBin didn’t even have to turn around to know the speaker who stood next to him in matter of few seconds.

“I’m just thinking,” HongBin admitted his ability to lie when it came to this particular person still inexistent.

“About what?” followed a question and it seemed almost like a déjà vu. This situation had already happened once, only now everything was a lot different, yet the same at the same time.

“About tomorrow. I don’t want to fail, as I am representing us as a group,” HongBin said and looked at the man next to him, who was looking at him in return. “I am… nervous and scared,” he said and wanted to turn away but a pair of warm hands cupped his face, making him stay where he was.

“You will do great. You always do,” the raven-haired male spoke and leaned closer, gently pecking HongBin’s lips. “I believe you will,” he added and once again HongBin stepped into an embrace that was not planned but was inventible a part of their interaction.

Arms wrapped around him, holding him close, and he nodded once, his head resting on the older one’s shoulder. HongBin knew he would do well. He couldn’t let his small, odd VIXX family down nor could he break the trust the man that was holding him had. One person he didn’t want to disappoint ever was TaekWoon.

The latter was his personal safety zone, his embrace the place where all worries and fears melted away and nothing but the warm feeling of trust, content and calm took over. He would do as well as he could, knowing that he would never be rejected by at least this one person he held the highest in his life.

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