Trigger Warning! Mention of self-harm, depression, self-starvation, self-hatred

Not much, but I better put a warning in case someone is sensitive to those subjects

"I don't care if they know" - V announced making Jungkook stop in his track. He turned to face his friend shocked and V continued - "It's you that I care about... we promised each other no more, we swore Jungkook... and I haven't made a single cut since that day even though it's been hard and too many times to count my hand almost slipped, but I couldn't do it because of you... I stopped cutting because of you, but you can't even eat a ing dinner for me... so you Jeon Jungkook, go... go and starve to death..."

V couldn't hold on to his appearance anymore and let his tears fall. He was frustrated by Jungkooks stubbornness, but also scared for his friend, he didn't want Jungkook to have to go through what he had in the past, he didn't want to see his friend so helpless.
"I'm sorry Tae" - Jungkook said sinking down to his knees crying.
V went up to Jungkook and everyone flinched in shock when he slapped Jungkook across the face... hard...
"You're the worst best friend in the world Kookie" - V said kneeling in front of Jungkook and pulling him in his arms - "But I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. So please, please, please come and eat with us... don't do this to yourself... to us... to me...  I don't think I could handle seeing you like that again... Kookie, I'm not strong enough for that... I'll break if something happens to you..."
"I'm sorry Tae... I just... too late... I remembered why... and I just hate... I hate it... me..." - Jungkook incoherently tried to explain between his sobs.
"It's okay, I got you Kookie... just let it all out, I'll be right here... you're not alone this time, you have me..." - V said soothingly. He let Jungkook cry on his shoulder for a moment before gently pulling them up and leading Jungkook to their shared room, so that younger could collect himself before facing others. He knew that Jungkook was probably terrified to speak to the rest of Bangtan, and honestly so was he himself, but the truth was already out so they had no choice, but to explain it to their probably very confused band mates.

Other members were looking at the scene in front of them with sorrowful faces, they couldn't believe that they hadn't noticed what two of their younger members were going through.
Jin felt tears escaping his eyes. He felt incredibly guilty towards Jungkook... he had always made sure that everyone ate and were healthy, but lately only because he was still hurt by what Jungkook had done, he didn't pay that much attention to Jungkook. If he wouldn't have been so obsessed with his own feelings, he would have seen that Jungkook wasn't eating... he should have seen it, he was supposed to take care of younger members but he had failed miserably...
"Don't even go there" - Suga said threateningly once Jungkook and V had left, successfully pulling Jin out of his thoughts - "You won't achieve anything by blaming yourself."
"I should have noticed... I.. I.." - Jin whispered weakly.
"We all should have noticed" - Jimin interrupted - "Yoongi is right, we won't get anywhere by blaming ourselves or each other, instead we should focus on how to help Jungkook."
"First of all I'd like to know what the is even going on here" - Namjoon spoke, it was clear that Bangtans leader was not happy.
"We probably should just wait till they come back and then we can ask for some explanations" - Hoseok suggested and everyone agreed.
They went back to their dinner even though no one could enjoy it properly anymore, their minds were full of questions revolving around Jungkook and V. It was clear that maknaes had quite a few secrets and not the prettiest ones.

When V and Jungkook returned hand in hand they both seemed more collected and V even managed a small assuring smile, but Jungkook still refused to meet anyones eyes
"Can we eat first and then talk?" - V said  - "Jungkook really needs some food finally."
"Of course" - leader was fast to agree, even though he and everyone else had a lot of questions to ask, he understood that first Jungkook has to eat.

Jungkook could feel everyones eyes on him but he couldn't get himself to face them just yet, so he kept his eyes focused on the floor.
He tried the food V put in front of him, but he soon realized that he won't be able to get it down. For a moment he considered forcing himself anyways, because he knew he's going to throw it all up later anyways, but he realized that V would definitely find out and would be once again disappointed in him.
Now there was no escaping or fooling V and maybe that was exactly what he needed - a friend who won't let him self-destruct, friend who will stay by his side no matter what and will fight for him at all costs.
Jungkook sighed and gently poked V to get his attention. When V turned to him he carefully confessed - "Tae... I can't anymore... If I eat this I'll throw up"
"It's been more than three days" - V stated.
Jungkook hang his head low not daring to look at V.
"How long Kookie?" - V asked gently.
"For the last three days nothing and about... month before that very rarely and only very small amounts so that.. that you wouldn't notice... I'm sorry" - Jungkook mumbled. He was close to crying again and was desperately trying to hold back.
"I'll be right back" - V sighed sadly before disappearing in the kitchen.
Soon he returned with a pack of yoghurt, a glass and bottle of juice, he put them in front of Jungkook - "Eat this and drink as much as you can... let's start slowly."

V kept eyeing Jungkook and was relieved to see that he ate the yoghurt without problems, but was struggling with juice a bit and when he gagged at his second glass V gently offered - "Just finish this glass... it will do for today."
Jungkook took another small sip, but his gagging only increased. V saw that he was trying really hard to not throw up and he was clearly in pain.
"Tae I can't finish it" - Jungkook said tears of frustration leaving his eyes.
V took Jungkooks unfinished glass and finished it in one go - "Don't know what you're talking about, your glass is empty."
For the first time in a long time members heard Jungkook laugh, they hadn't even realized how long it had been since they heard their maknaes cute laugh.
"I don't know what I'd do without you Tae... I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the " - Jungkook said backhugging V and resting his head against his friends back.
V smirked sensing an opportunity to lighten up the atmosphere - "Don't worry, you know I like it rough, so pain in the is quite welcome." Hearing his statement Jimin chocked on his food, which made Yoongi and Namjoon laugh, Jin looked judgingly at V and Hoseoks eyes were wide from shock.
"You're horrible" - Jungkook complained, but his tone was full of affection for his weird friend and he stayed attached to V while others continued to eat silently.
But Jungkook could feel a burning gaze on him. He wanted to know who it was, but he was too afraid to look up, afraid to see what emotions that look held. In the end his curiosity got the best of him and he slowly looked up. When his eyes locked with Jins he expected to see the usual hurt and betrayal in others look, but Jins look was gentle, caring and it took Jungkook by surprise. Jungkook couldn't believe his eyes when Jin softly smiled at him, he was sure he had started to hallucinate because how could it be that Jin looked at him like that? How could it be that Jin actually smiled at him after what Jungkook did?

God I'm such a failure, first I didn't upload for years and then I up >< I uploaded next chapter before this one gosh... But um well... double update yay... *Goes in a dark corner to die, because I fail at life*