"I... I don't know... , Jin I just don't know how to be in a relationship, okay? I never had a girlfriend or boyfriend, it was always just , no feelings involved... I just don't know any other way" - Jungkook desperately tried to explain.
"No feelings involved you say" - Jin spat bitterly - "Maybe next time you should check if there's no feelings involved from the person you're playing with.

Jin was about to leave, but Jungkook was faster - he fastly jumped out of his bed and locked the door hiding the key in his back pocket.
"You're not going anywhere before we talk this out, I'm not having one of that drama bull where one of us leaves and then we spend weeks ignoring each other and sobbing into our pillows" - Jungkook said.
"What's there to talk out Jungkook? You've already hurt me enough, so please I'm begging you, if you have at least the smalest sympathy for me, let me go... I can't stand a second longer being close to you" - Jin begged not caring if he looked and sounded pathetic, he needed to get away from Jungkook because being so close was too painful.
"You really hate me that much now?" - Jungkook asked silently, but Jin heard.
He knew that what he was about to say was cruel and not even true, but Jungkook didn't know that - "I once said that there's nothing you could do to make me hate you... I was wrong - I despise you Jeon Jungkook, I wish I never met you and let you in my life... you're nothing but a dirty... disgusting to me."
Jin expected to feel content to feel at least a little bit better for hurting Jungkook, but seeing younger boy break down as he sank on his knees tears streaming down his face, Jin felt anything but content, he found himself disgusting for hurting Jungkook like that. He couldn't even look at Jungkook in such state, it hurt to see him in so much pain and it hurt even more to know that he caused that pain, he knew very well that Jungkook was afraid of Jin hating him and he used that to hurt other, how was he better than Jungkook when he did something so low?
Jin slowly sat down on the floor leaning against the wall and let his own tears fall freely, he could hear Jungkooks broken cries and make a mistake at glancing at other, that moment he knew that he had already forgiven everything, he couldn't stay mad at other... yes, he was still hurt, but he loved Jungkook too much to hate him... if only Jungkook would know him better, would have payed more attention to Jins feeling he would know it too. But Jungkook didn't care about feelings, Jin reminded himself.
And after all Jungkook was only a kid and Jin wasn't showing the best example himself, he had to man up and act his age.
He smiled bitterly and stood up moving next to Jungkook - "What I just said... I didn't really think like that, I just said it to hurt you, because you really really hurt me. I'm sorry."
Jungkook looked Jin in the eyes and smiled sadly.
"I knew you didn't actually think that" - Jungkook said surprising Jin - "you're too good, too kind for that. But, hyung, that doesn't change the fact that it's the truth - I'm nothing but a dirty disgusting ."
Jin didn't expect that. He starred at Jungkook in shock. Did he really think so bad of himself?
"Don't be so shocked, I might be a jerk, but I'm pretty self aware of what I've become" - Jungkook said standing up and picking something out of his bedside drawer.
He gave the small notebook to Jin who hesitantely took it.
"It's the names and my thought of everyone I've ever slept with - over 40 people" - Jungkook explained.
"Why are you giving this to me?" - Jin asked.
"So that you could understand exactly how much truth your words hold" - Jungkook said and once again Jin saw that sad, angry look in Jungkooks eyes, only now he understood that it was the look of self hatred.
Jin couldn't handle to see that look so he turned away concentrating on the small notebook in his hands instead. He was scared to open it, but curiosity won and he opened random page and started reading.
About each person Jungkook hadn't written more than two or three lines. The descriptions were short and impersonal, they were disgusting... Jungkook wrote about those people as if they were made just for his pleasure, as if they didn't matter.
With shaking hands he flipped pages, not bothering to read all of the records, until he found what he was looking for, there in Jungkooks handwriting was his name - Kim Seokjin. But it was crossed out and there was nothing written besides it, not even a single word.
Jin had mixed emotions - he felt disgusted that his name was in the notebook, as if he had been just another to Jungkook - what he sadlly had to admit he probably was, but he also felt a bit upset that there was nothing written about him, was he really that bad?
He looked at Jungkook confused, hoping the younger will explain.
It seemed that Jungkook understood Jins silent question - "I couldn't write about you there... it just didn't feel right 'cause to me you're not the same as all those people... so I wrote about you seperately in another notebook."
"Can I see it?" - Jin asked before he could stop himself.
"No, not now" - Jungkooks answer was like another stab in Jins bleeding heart. If he couldn't show it... it must be really bad. When Jungkook had said that he didn't feel right to write about Jin in the same notebook as everyone else, Jin felt hope, but now it disappeared.
He tried to hold back his tears, but it was pointless, he just didn't have the streght anymore - "Jungkook please, I can't take this anymore... Haven't you hurt me enough? What else do you want from me?"
"Forgiveness" - Jungkook said forcing Jin to look up at him. Their eyes locked and Jungkook continued - "And a second chance - chance to start over and make it right this time."
Jin starred at Jungkook shocked - "What's the point? You already got me in bed once, I thought that was all you needed."
"Usually, yes" - Jungkook admitted - "But you're not like everyone else, I actually want you because of you not to make another damned record in my notebook. Jin I'm sorry for seeing you as nothing more that object to satisfy my lust with, I'm sorry for not treating you like you deserve, I'm sorry for ignoring and playing with your feelings and I'm sorry for thousands of other things that I did wrong, but I promise to fix every single one of them even if takes me lifetime... just please, please, please... please give me a second chance."
Jin was crying again... or still? He couldn't even tell anymore, he barely found his voice to speak - "I want to believe you, to trust you, but I just... I don't..."
"I know" - Jungkook said gently brushing away Jins tears, it was the first contact they had since Jungkooks confession and Jin couldn't stop from leaning in the touch.
Jungkook smiled and continued - "I wouldn't even dare to ask you to believe or trust me, I know I don't deserve it... all I'm asking for is a chance, it's okay if you don't trust me, it's okay even if you despise me... all I need is a chance to earn you love and trust back, I won't it up this time. You will never have to cry because of me again."
Jin would give everything for that to be the truth, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't bring himself to believe Jungkook.
"I want to give you a second chance..." - Jin said weakly - "But how can I be with someone who I don't think I'll ever trust again... How can I be with you when I can't even look at you... I'm sorry Jungkook... I'd say it's over, but there wasn't really anything between us... so please just give me the key and let me go."