Chapter 17

The last thing I felt was a drop of tear on my cheek. 

I immediately wiped it away and smiled back at him. He was looking at me. That look that I used to know the meaning. But after several years, I'm not sure what it meant anymore.

Everything else seemed blank from my sight except him.

“Hi...” He spoke again. And I have to shake my mind inside that this is real. That Yonghwa is really in front of me. 

“Hi...” I answered under my breath. 

All our friends just exchanged glances. But even before anyone could react, a little girl peeked out from Yonghwa’s back. She was shyly hiding behind him, sticking out her one eye and tightly gripping Yonghwa's shirt.

Our attention was drawn to her. We were all silent. 

***

I noticed that all my friends became quiet. My eyes were focused on Seohyun. I have to admit that I missed her so much and if I could just hug her in an instant then I'd do it.

But seeing her eyes were not on me anymore but on Youngjae, who is silently grabbing my shirt and was hiding from them. She's really shy with new people she met. All my friends' eyes are on her.

I chuckled and slightly pulled Youngjae in front of me. 

“This is Youngjae...” I said, looking at each of my friends. No one responded so I continued. “She’s...she’s my daughter.” 

***

I wanted to ask Yonghwa to repeat what he said just to make sure if I heard it right. I looked at the little girl once more. She was looking down then turned to tightly wrap her arms around her father's waist.

Her father. Yonghwa. 

Jungshin clears his throat. “Annyeong, Youngjae-ah...” He greeted the girl. 

Youngjae bowed at Jungshin in return of the greeting. 

My eyes were just fixed on the shy, little girl. I can feel my heart beating so fast that I feel like it can explode anytime. Once again, I stood stiff and didn't know what to do.

Of course he got married. I kept telling myself. Ten years, Seohyun-ah! Are you expecting him to remain single just like you? I told myself repeatedly.

Tiffany clasped her hands together and let out an awkward laugh. “Well, let’s start the party. Now that we're complete and we have an additional guest tonight.." She said then wallked towards the table to get a party hat. "Come here, Youngjae-ah... wear this and let's eat delicious food." She called the little girl.

I can feel Hyoyeon’s arm wrapping my waist tightly as we all sat back on the table. We all felt awkward in an instant, or it's just me, I guess.

“So Yong...how are you? How have you been these past years?” Minhyuk asked as we pass along the food to one another. 

Yonghwa started to tell about his life in the States. He’s now a well-known photographer both in the US and in Europe. He also talked about Krystal and her family and even the death of their mother.

And just like that, it’s seemed like he hasn’t been away for so long. I guess that’s how friends are. 

“Are you okay?” Jonghyun whispered at me as he pours me another glass of juice. 

I was taken aback by the question before I nodded. “Yeah.” I tried to smile. “I’m..I’m okay...” 

The party went on but my mind was blank. And honestly, I felt awkward looking at Youngjae who is sitting across me. She was silently eating some bread and I noticed that she didn't eat any Korean dish. Maybe she's not used to eating them there. I noticed a print on her shirt and gave me an idea on how to talk to her.

“Do you like to have some ice cream?” I asked her, pointing at her shirt with a big ice cream on a cone print.

I saw her looking up at me. Her face lights up and she nodded her head. 

“Come on. You choose a flavor.” I told her as I stood up. 

But I felt chills down my spine when I felt a little hand holding my hand as I walk towards the kitchen. I abruptly looked down and saw Youngjae walking beside me. I tried my best to walk continuously despite the strange feeling I have inside while holding the little hand.

“Ice cream!!!” She suddenly exclaimed with a perfect American accent when she laid her eyes on the gallons inside the fridge. That's the first time I saw her smiling.

She must have liked ice cream. 

“What flavor do you like?” I asked her. But I guess she doesn’t understand me because she didn’t respond and continue to wander her eyes on the fridge.

She cutely pouted her lips. “I like ice cream sandwich.” She said without looking at me. 

“Oh, we don’t have that here. Do you like to buy outside, instead?”

But even before Youngjae can answer, someone opened the door of the kitchen that we both turned our heads to see who it was. 

“Is Youngjae bothering you?” Yonghwa asked as he entered the door.

“Oh no..no.. Not at all.” I answered.

“Appa!” Youngjae ran towards Yonghwa. 

I’ve heard that word so many times. I hear it when Miyoung whines at Nichkhun, or when Jea likes Junsu to piggyback ride her. That word was also little Bomi's first word spoken that made Minhyuk so happy. I was also reminded on how Jaehyun, Jonghyun's three-year-old son, calls him that way like they're just friends, or times when Kai, the boy we call 'little Jungshin', calls his father all the time on the phone just to bother him at work.

But hearing it from this little girl that I just met, and seeing Yonghwa being called that way seems so new to me. 

“Appa...Can we buy ice cream sandwich outside?” 

Yonghwa tucks strands of her hair at the back of her ear. “Okay. We’ll buy some when we go home.” 

“But Auntie here told me we can buy now...” She said, pointing at me. 

I looked at Youngjae and then turned to Yonghwa. 

Again, we were just staring at each other. But it was me who came back to my senses as I chuckled awkwardly. 

“There’s a store just beside the restaurant.” I said, just to change the atmosphere. “We can..we can buy if she wants to.. it's just near here, anyway."

“But..”

“Appa, please???!!” Youngjae interrupted and begged Yonghwa in a very cute way. She smiled sheepishly at him and blinks her eyes fervently, pleading at her father.

Yonghwa chuckled and then he looked at me. 

“It’s okay.” I said. I know he’s trying to know if it’s fine with me. “We’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

Yonghwa sighed and even before he could respond, Youngjae jumped happily already and ran towards me as she grabs my hand in a hurry. Yonghwa and I stared each other with a chuckle which only lasted in a flash seconds because I was being pulled quickly by Youngjae outside the kitchen.

Youngjae pouts her lips as she focuses her gaze on the different ice cream sandwiches in the store. “This..I want this, Aunt Seohyun." She said, pointing at a very familiar snack.

It was Yonghwa and I’s all-time favorite ice cream sandwich. 

“You want that?” I asked. 

“Yes. Because that’s yours and Appa’s favorite.” She answered innocently, eyes still focused on the ice cream sandwich. 

I was a bit startled that I turned to her in shock. How did she know that that’s our favorite? Did Yonghwa tell her? Does Youngjae know me? 

She happily hops when I gave her the plastic bag with three ice cream sandwiches. She insisted of paying for them, saying she has her own money to buy. She's like a little adult already.

“This is yours, Aunt Seohyun.” Youngjae handed me one ice cream sandwich. 

I was surprised but accepted it with a wholehearted smile. “Thank you.” 

“And this is mine, and this is Appa’s...” She said, like talking to herself. 

She was happily eating the ice cream sandwich with her one hand and the other hand is clasping my hand tightly as we walk back to the restaurant. I can feel that she's more at ease now than a while ago, being so shy in front of us.

“Aunt Seohyun?” Youngjae suddenly called me when we were near the restaurant.

“Mmm?”

“Why did you make Appa cry?” 

It was a reflex that I stopped walking after I heard the question. I was taken aback by the words of this little girl. I looked at her and she looked up to stare at me. Her gaze is mixed with both curiosity and sadness that I cannot understand what it meant.

“What?” I asked under my breath. “What did you say, Youngjae-ah?”

“I said, why did you make my appa cry?