It all started when I was first debuted as a solo singer.

FLASHBACK

“Hey Hyori! Are you ready?” my manager asked me.

I nodded quite frantically and assured him that I knew exactly what I was doing. Which was a lie because I was scared less. I mean, who wouldn’t? I would be debuting in front of thousands of people while wearing clothes only a would be proud of! I looked at myself in my full-length mirror. Extra short shorts, a light ped jacket, and a bra that just barely covered my s. My hair was let down and curled to perfection, and I wore so much makeup that I didn’t even know myself anymore. I felt like a , but I pushed that thought away as I remembered that being y appealed to almost everybody. I wanted to become a famous singer no matter what. "Fighting," I encouraged myself.

“NOW, GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO THE IEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU WILL EVER SEE HERE ON THIS SHOW…” Ugh. I rolled my eyes. That’s what they said about that last woman singer that performed last week. “PLEASE WELCOME, LEE HYOOOORRIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And the crowd went wild. The spokesman did a good job of arousing them, I must admit.

I sang my heart out that I felt as if my throat would have exploded any second. I danced so hard that my bra almost fell off. I just felt so alive. So this is what it feels like to be a superstar, I thought.

As I finished my last song, the hardest thing I have ever experienced, I totally nailed that high note at the end like my life depended on it. And the crowd just went crazy! Everybody started jumping up and down, oh, I mean it was crazy. “Kamsahamnida! Fighting!” I yelled right before exiting the stage. Balls of sweat rolled down my forehead and once I was backstage I grabbed my water bottle, sat on my makeup stool, and started chugging it all down like a drunkard. All of a sudden I heard a deep voice behind me.

“Slow down, baby, or you’ll drown in that,” he said. I gagged on my water, spun around, and saw the most beautiful creature before me, chuckling like there was no tomorrow. He had a slender figure, short playful hair, and the deepest darkest eyes I have ever seen. “You must have been pretty worn out up there, huh?” he commented. I strove to find some words but my tongue seemed to be stuck to the floor of my mouth; all I could do was nod with my mouth open like a codfish. He was so beautiful and handsome, and his deep voice was so y.

I cleared my throat. “Anneyohasayo, Lee Hyori immida.”

He smiled and answered, “Choi Seunghyun, but my stage name is TOP.” We shook hands and smiled at each other.

Right then and there I knew he was the one for me. I knew I would not be able to live without him. I had fallen in love with him.

We started talking some more while I was trying to cool down from my debut. People were starting to leave and in no time we were the only ones left in the building. My manager texted me that he needed to attend a meeting, and would have someone pick me up in an hour, so I had a whole hour to spend with him. Apparently TOP was auditioning for some newbie group called “Big Bang” or something, and he claimed that he was the best rapper there.

“Oh really?” I teased. “Prove it.”

Immediately, he started rapping the lyrics to “No Diggity,” and beat boxed in the places where he was not rapping. It was breathtaking to say the least. I have never seen anyone with such charisma and confidence when performing for only one person, and his y seducing deep voice seemed to make me want him more. When he was done, I applauded. I couldn’t help it. It was just too perfect. TOP seemed to think so as well, and gave me a cutest smug face I could have ever imagined.

RATED: Stop here if you are underage. By the way, I at rated scenes, so you need to bear with me.

What happened next was pure reflex. I was applauding so much and TOP was making me laugh so hard that I felt my stool suddenly falling backwards due to all of the pressure I was putting on it. TOP seemed to notice it before I did. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him just as the stool fell away from underneath me. I was in his embrace, his left hand holding my right, and his right hand holding my waist. Our faces were just centimetres apart, and I suddenly felt an urge to move my lips closer to his. In what seemed like forever, they met, and I was kissing the man of my dreams! It started out really gently. I opened my mouth and he slid his tongue in, teasing my tongue and exploring my mouth. He started taking both our clothes off, and before I knew it, we were both . His kisses turned wet and violent, and I was weak and under his control. He pushed me to the floor and jumped on top of me with hungry and lustful eyes. He on my s, played with my s, bit my skin, and kissed me all over. I moaned when he kept on teasing me, and in no time every part of me was throbbing. I was gasping for breath and pulsing all over. Suddenly, quick as lightening, he pulled my legs apart and dove in. I screamed. I was a back then. He did not seem to mind the fact that I was hurting all over. He just kept on ing and pushing himself into me. It did not matter to me, though. I loved TOP, and allowed him to do whatever the hell he wanted to me. I was starting to feel pleasure because of my loving thoughts for him. “Faster, TOP, FASTER!!!” He pushed himself in deeper and faster. He and bit my bouncing s and caressed my thighs. I felt him tensing up and he started ing even faster. Eventually, we both had our s and he collapsed on top of me. TOP pulled out of me and rolled over, panting. “I love you,” I whispered. But he didn’t reply. I snuggled up onto his bare chest and soon fell asleep.

END OF RATED SCENE

When I woke up, I found myself in a limousine. “What happened?” I said half to myself, half to everybody else. I looked down and saw that I was properly dressed.

“Oh, I found you sleeping on the couch, so I carried you to the limo. Pretty tiring concert, huh?” my manager said. I looked at him, dumbfounded. My sensual experience with TOP was not a dream. I could still feel that throbbing all over my body.

“R-Right, it was v-very tiring.” Did TOP just leave me there after having with me? Did he just want from me and that’s it? NO! He couldn’t have only wanted that! He was kind to me, wasn’t he? Questions similar to those filled my mind. All of a sudden I felt dirty and more of a .

Then I had an idea. “Hey, do you know this man named Choi Seunghyun?” I asked my manager.

“HIM? The rapper from Big Bang?”

“Yah, that’s it!”

“He’s a very talented rapper, that’s for sure!”

“I’ve heard. Do you know anything about his personality?”

My managed eyed me suspiciously. “Why do you want to know?”

“Oh, I just heard his name and am curious, that’s all!” I smiled.

“Well, I heard he is a nice boy. Very good sense of humour. A little bit on the lazy side but his talent is enough to cover for it. And a huge fan of food.”

I laughed at the last statement. “Sounds like any other boy!”

“Neh.”

“Is he a player like most boys too?” I asked, a bit jokingly so as not to raise suspicions.

“I don’t really know. He looks like it, though.”

My heart sank when I heard that. I was just another one of his toys. But on the other hand, my manager could be wrong. He said that he wasn’t too sure about it. “I would like to meet him one day; he sounds like a nice guy.” I stated.

My manager just chortled. “You will. In fact, all of Big Bang is going to perform with you next month anyways.”

I choked on my saliva. “Really?” I asked coolly.

“Yup, and one of them is going to have to kiss you. If you’re alright with it, of course. But I must warn you, stock will go up only if you agree to it.”

“Of course. I mean, what does a little kiss matter when it could mean earning more money for me and the company?” I stuttered. Kiss? As in, touching lips? !

So for the next year, I was working out my body like crazy. I skipped meals, worked out, and did everything I could in order to look thin, beautiful, y, and seductive. One thing was in my mind—Choi Seunghyun. I practiced singing for double the time I used to, dancing for triple the time I used to, and picked out clothes that showed even more of my skin. I wanted to blow his mind and make him realize that he consummated his love with the most beautiful girl in the universe.

A week before the concert, I had to meet up with Big Bang. I was nervous that whole day. I woke up with shaky hands, fumbled with my hair, awkwardly put on my makeup, and had a huge internal debate on what the hell to wear (crop top with short skirt, shirt that shows my bellybutton with jean shorts, etc.). “Fighting!” I yelled at myself in my full-length mirror just before walking out the door.

I arrived at the studio we were supposed to meet half and hour later. Everybody was already there. Except my beloved TOP. So I just introduced myself. “Anneyosayo! Lee Hyori immida!”

A cute thin boy with an adorable smile replied, “Anyoung! Kwon Jiyong immida, but you can call me GD for short if that’s too much of a handful. I’m the leader of Big Bang, if you’d like to know.”

He pointed to the guy next to him with a Mohawk and cute squinty eyes, “This is Dong Youngbae, or Taeyang. He’s my oldest best friend.” Taeyang walked shyly up to me and bowed, eyes facing the floor with faintly pink cheeks. I couldn’t help but giggle, which made him blush even more.

GD rolled his eyes and pointed to this other guy who was smiling like crazy, “This is the all-too-smiley Daesung, but I’m sure you have already met him.” That was true. We were both hosts for Family Outing, but I never really talked to him that much.

“Nice to see you again, Daesung,” I said politely.

Lastly, GD grabbed a small boy that seemed around seventeen by the scruff of his neck and spun him around to face me.

“YAH!!! I can walk, hyung!” he complained. I smiled.

“And this is our maknae, Lee Seunghyun, or Seungri. He’s an annoying and backstabbing creature, so beware of him,” he explained.

“YAH!!! I haven’t even said five words to her yet and you gave her a bad first impression of me!” he pouted.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry, Seungri, you are the cutest maknae I have ever seen!” It was his turn to smile, the arrogant little thing.

Because I really wanted to see TOP, I subtly hinted that I wanted an explanation for his absence. “Hey, aren’t there supposed to be five of you?” I asked.

“Oh yah, our hyung Choi Seunghyun is always late because of his annoying habit of sleeping in.” GD explained. “But he’ll come. His career is probably the most important thing for him right now.” Good, I thought, he’d better come; I didn’t spend a whole two hours fixing myself up for nothing.

As if on cue, a tall slim man in his twenties emerged into the room wearing dark sunglasses, a hoodie, and a pair of baggy pants. “Yo,” he greeted his band members with his deep voice.

“Finally you are here, hyung! Geez, didn’t we tell you to hurry up! What the hell took you so long?” GD shouted angrily. TOP just rolled his eyes and chuckled. Kawai!!!

“Just make sure to get here on time, alright hyung?” Taeyang said with his smooth and gentle voice.

Then TOP turned his head towards me and I felt his dark eyes piercing through my skin. I tensed up but managed to utter a polite “annyoung.”

“Oh yah, this is Lee Hyori, the girl the manager told us that we would be performing with,” explained GD.

“Oh, we have already m—” I started but TOP cut in, “Nice to meet you, Hyori.” And he looked at me with a cold stare. I was hurt. Was TOP ashamed to have met me before?

“Nice to meet you too, Choi Seunghyun,” I said just loud enough so that he could hear me. TOP smiled, but it was a smile of relief, not of happiness to see me. I could tell through his eyes.

“So, shall we get started?!?!” Daesung shouted in his happy and contagious voice. We all laughed. It was decided that I would be dancing with them in one song, performing with each individual member for the rest, and that one of them was going to kiss me. There was a huge debate on the last choice.

“I should do it! I’m the cutest!” Seungri kept yelling out.

“Well, I’m the leader, so I have a certain responsibility to it.” GD replied.

“I’ve known her the longest; she’d be more comfortable kissing me!” reasoned Daesung.

Taeyang, being an amateur kisser, stayed quiet, for he definitely did not want to kiss on stage with a girl he barely knew.

It was then decided that TOP would be the one kissing me (I totally rejoiced at their decision) for he had the most acting skills and experience. Seungri was especially disappointed, and I just giggled at his cuteness. My happiness dissolved when I saw TOP’s face, though. He just looked cold with no emotions. Not a great sign.

So practice went smoothly. TOP and I also practised our scene several times until we got the steps and acting portions correct. But TOP refused to kiss me, and convinced his band members that he would kiss me on stage, but would only pretend to kiss me in practice. Although I respected his intentions, I could not help but feel a little bit disappointed at his actions. Did he really regret our first meeting?

It was only at after our practice when I found the answer to my question. I decided to talk to TOP hyung and perhaps make him remember our time together. “Hey Seunghyun! Great practice today, huh?” I said cheerily.

He grunted.

“I think that the real concert would also be great judging from today’s progress, don’t you think?” I tried again.

He grunted.

I couldn’t take it anymore. “Oppa, don’t you remember me?” I asked with pleading eyes.

He just looked at me expressionlessly and walked off. He was heading towards another girl!

“OPPA!!!” she screamed and ran towards him, pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss.

My blood started to boil. How DARE that girl steal away the love of my life! How DARE she even touch my beloved Seunghyun! How DARE she kiss him like she owned him!

“Oh, that’s Yoobin from the Wonder Girls,” said a tender voice behind me. I recognized it as Taeyang’s. “TOP’s been dating her for about two years now.” Two years. So he started dating her even before our first encounter? So he was cheating on her with me? So I was just another toy to him? Is that why he is ignoring me? My eyes started watering, and I rushed to the nearest bathroom, leaving Taeyang utterly confused. Once there, I locked myself in a stall and bawled my eyes out. TOP betrayed me. I was heartbroken and so angry at myself for being so stupid as to believe that he would ever love me.

My heartbreak slowly turned into anger towards TOP and the rest of Big Bang. They were all in this, I told myself. They pulled me into a trap and they wanted to humiliate me just because I was so much more famous in Korea than them. I clenched my fists in anger and grinded my teeth. They will pay. One day, they will pay. I decided to play it cool until the end of the performance and plotted out my revenge towards them. Damn them all to hell!

Our group performance went amazingly well despite my broken heart and perpetual anger. Taeyang seemed to sense my change in attitude and emotions, but he did not do anything due to his fear of humiliating himself in front of the opposite gender. The phone call that I received after the concert was not at all good news, though.

“Yobosayo?” I answered.

“Hello, is this Lee Hyori?” said a female voice on the other line.

“Yes, who is this?”

“I am a nurse at the Seoul Hospital, and I wanted to inform you that your family has been in a car accident and are now receiving treatment.”

My heart stopped. First I lost TOP and now my family? “I’ll be right there,” I replied quickly.

I rushed to the hospital in an hour and asked the receptionist for the room numbers of my family. “I’m sorry, miss, but your family members passed away ten minutes ago. They were already taken out.” I couldn’t breathe. My family left without saying goodbye. “I’m extremely sorry, miss.” Yah, but she sure didn’t act or sound like she was sorry! Jesus Christ, she was still typing on her computer when she was saying that.

I ran to the bathroom like I did when I found out that TOP had a girlfriend. My family is dead, my family is dead, my family is dead. My mother, father, everybody! They left me here heartbroken! It is their entire fault. IT IS ALL OF THEIR FAULTS!!! “I will never forgive you for abandoning me,” I whispered to myself. They left me just when I needed them the most.

My anger deepened. It was TOP’s fault my family is dead. I had no backup evidence for this, but I totally believed in it. I will not let you go for this! You will suffer for all the pain you brought me! I will never give up on making your life miserable. TOP, I hate you.

END OF FLASHBACK

I still have never given up. My plan will work. It had BETTER work.