At first, Dongwoon wondered what the hell he had been doing in his past life to deserve such luck he was currently experiencing in his present one. After that brief moment of thought, came the anger and disappointment because he truly wished that his ears hadn’t catched what the blonde boy in front of him had said. If he just hadn’t heard it, if he just hadn’t been the one to listen then he could have lived on with his life unknowingly, happily even, without having to think.

But Yoseob’s mouth was moving in front of him and the words poured into Dongwoon’s listening ears like needles punctuating his heart as he nodded with a fake facade of understanding and acknowledgement. Underneath it was a shock greater than anything his soul had ever experienced before and it tore him apart as the seconds slowly ticked by. He had stopped listening, not hearing the frantic explanation as the three words that had suddenly tore his whole world down rang in his ears over and over again.

I like Kikwang. I like Kikwang. He likes Kikwang.

It was over now. His moment of happiness was short and sweet but now it seemed like it would be taken away from him like a candy stolen from a small kid. Dongwoon wasn't even sure if he should be surprised over the fact that his bandmate was gay or just grief over the revelation of Kikwang never having a chance with him again, not that he even had a chance from the beginning.

Suddenly, it wasn't as wonderful and as beautiful to be in love, like the colors being drawn out of his life and painted in an endless tone of grey, he felt empty inside. Just like that, his love was no longer possible it seemed, like it was in sight but just barely out of reach and Yoseob's words mocking him everytime he would try to grab hold of it. He just wasn't as happy to be in love anymore.

No, Dongwoon officially declared it as torture.

***

The following days, Dongwoon wondered how he could have been so oblivious to not notice the small and subtle hints that would tell anyone with the right set of mind how much Yoseob actually loved Kikwang. It was right in front of them, so blindingly close that the other members didn’t even give it a thought and Dongwoon felt like an outcast for the first time in a very long time because of the knowledge he alone carried.

Yoseob was oblivious to the heart he was tearing apart in his blinding love for the muscular boy, not seeing behind the clouds he was riding along with the smile painting his face and it wasn’t until Doojoon actually pointed out the maknae’s solemn expression that Yoseob saw clearly again. He had been showering the boy with rants about things that he loved about Kikwang since the day he confessed and unknowingly dragged Dongwoon deeper and deeper into his black hole of degrade and humiliation.

And amidst all this, Kikwang was more confused than ever as he watched one friend coming closer while the other drifted further and further away and suddenly there was a whole ravine between him and the maknae of the group. He tried to talk with him, reach out a hand but each time the offer was brushed past with a few nods of the head, a fake smile and a few words of response before the boy would turn on his heel, isolate himself and leave Kikwang stranded once again.

The behaviour didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the members either and soon everyone was getting worried as a thick tension laid itself over the atmosphere of the small dorm, suffocating them and slowly destroying the whole formation of the group itself. Doojoon tried to talk to Dongwoon, letting the boy lean on him during their scheduled appearances in public and cheer him up with his silly jokes.

And quickly, they became an inseparable pair as Dongwoon felt safe and secure with someone close to him that didn’t ask too many questions, even though he could see that the leader itched to spill them but out of respect he never did and Dongwoon was thankful for that. He needed some space to dwell in his own feelings, sort them out so that he could learn to see Yoseob and Kikwang together without bursting into pitiful tears or feel the painful contractions in his chest.

Meanwhile, Hyunseung grabbed Yoseob by the arm and demanded to get an answer to Dongwoon’s recent behaviour. He knew Kikwang was the maknae’s closest friend out of all of them and he also knew Yoseob’s ual preferences and something in his gut was bugging him about the connection between the two factors. And when Yoseob embarrassedly admitted his sinful love it all became crystal clear in Hyunseung’s complexed mind as he realized the reason behind the maknae’s behaviour.

There was a love triangle going on and they didn’t even notice.

***

Kikwang was angry. He was pissed and the fact that he wasn’t good with controlling this certain emotion didn’t help very much when Dongwoon his heel for the umpteenth time that day. Kikwang didn’t know the root of his anger, the reason behind the boiling under his skin but he didn’t stop to find out as he lunged forward and grabbed hold of Dongwoon’s arm.

The grip was strong and the maknae yelped in surprise of the contact as he looked up into Kikwang’s angry frown and strong breathing. “Let go of me, hyung.” he demanded with irritation, wanting nothing more than to escape out of the suffocating room and run into hiding where his heart wouldn’t pound as loud and his breathing wouldn’t get caught in his throat.

“What have I done to you?” Kikwang asked through gritted teeth, ignoring the others request and firmly holding his grip on the weak arm. “I thought we were fine, Dongwoon. What happened? What is it that I have done to you that is so bad for you to treat me this way?” he stepped closer, the anger inside him flaring with each sentence and Dongwoon avoided to look into those piercing eyes. “Yah! Answer me!”

Dongwoon flinched. He wasn’t used to seeing his hyung so angry, it was rare and the occasions so few that nobody really remembered how bad it could actually get. “I-I can’t...I can’t tell you…” Dongwoon bit his lip, trying hard to hold back the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks at any moment as his heart wasn’t able to take in the painful scene that was currently unfolding.

Kikwang snorted, head falling forward in despair as he slowly released the grip on Dongwoon’s arm and leaving a faint red mark by his fingertips on the tanned skin. Dongwoon’s feet were suddenly glued to the floorboards, his body not able to escape as his breath hitched and a lonely tear made it’s way down his cheek. He ignored it, willing himself to stay strong and not let something so pitiful as love completely destroy his soul and tear him apart.

“You can’t tell me, huh?” Kikwang snorted again, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his black hair in frustration. “Why? You’re my best friend for gods sake! We tell everything to each other!” he said and unknowingly raised his voice again, making Dongwoon clench his fists.

“Maybe that’s the problem.” he stated, a hint of anger in his voice as another tear made it’s way down his cheek, leaving a trail behind that Dongwoon could only describe as pitiful and disgusting. He hated the state he was in, he hated that this is how his first experience of love would turn out to be and most of all he hated how he couldn’t escape from the black hole.

“Maybe the fact that we’re friends is the damn problem.” Dongwoon raised his voice slightly, finding courage from the new anger that had emitted from his bleeding heart in pure hurt as he spit the words out through gritted teeth. He lifted his head from the floor and turned to glare into Kikwang’s eyes, seeing a flash of surprise in those orbs as the trails on his cheeks glistened in the dim lighting of the room.

Kikwang’s emotions turmoiled in that moment and suddenly he didn’t have much to say because all the words seemed to get caught in his throat. The emotions he had so easily described as anger felt in an instant much more complex as it transformed into pain, disappointment, longing, emptiness and loneliness and even a hint of admiration mixed with passionate affection. It confused Kikwang to no end and seeing the trails of tears on Dongwoon’s face made his heart twist in a hint of guilt and a strong urge to wrap his arms around the maknae’s broken soul.

And so he did. He flung his big arms around the taller boy and buried his face in the crook of the others neck, breathing in the sweet scent. “I’m sorry I got angry, Dongwoon-ah.” he mumbled against the skin and gently squeezed his arms as he listened to the hitched breathing of the maknae.

“Don’t.” Dongwoon protested weakly and pushed Kikwang away from his body, afraid of how the touch affected him and the racing of his heart. “You can’t.” he said and held out a hand when Kikwang confusedly took a step forward, watching as the maknae staggered backwards. With the hand still held out in front of him, Dongwoon squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed down his dry throat as the beating of his heart ringed in his ears.

Kikwang frowned, feeling lost and hurt by the others action as he wanted nothing more than to get his best friend back. “Why? What is it, Dongwoon-ah? You can tell me.” he stepped forward, making Dongwoon open his eyes and stagger backwards in response as he shook his head. “You can tell me anything, Dongwoon-ah. Please...just tell me what’s going on.” Kikwang pleaded, searching for the maknae’s avoiding eyes as he stepped forward again.

Dongwoon felt his back collide with the wall behind him, his feet shuffling against a soft bear on the floor and almost tripping over it as he panicked when Kikwang didn’t make a move to stop. Kikwang approached and when he was brushing against Dongwoon’s frozen hand, the maknae pushed him away with all his strength in a desperate cry. “Stay. Away!”

Kikwang stumbled, not expecting the gesture and ending up fighting for balance in his moment of surprise. Dongwoon felt the tears starting to flow down his cheeks in a steady stream and he desperately and ashamedly tried to regulate his breathing, inhaling deeply into his lungs as if trying to calm down. He felt angry and disappointed at Kikwang for being such a dumb blind fool and not seeing what was right in front of him.

“, what is going on?!” Kikwang raised his voice to the one equal of Dongwoon and ran a hand through his hair when he realized he couldn’t approach the crying mess that was pressed up against the wall. He started pacing around the room instead and listened to the irregular breathing coming from Dongwoon’s lips as he kicked a game controller across the room, making Dongwoon flinch at the piercing sound of the object crashing into the TV shelf.

“Tell me, dammit!” Kikwang shouted in frustration and at that moment Dongwoon were glad that Hyunseung had dragged the other members out of the dorm to leave them alone. “Why are you avoiding me?! Why do you flinch at my touch and run away the first chance you get, huh?! We used to be best friends, Dongwoon! What the hell happened to us?! You have to tell me because I have no idea what is going on or what I have done to make you like this!”

“I love you!”

Dongwoon shouted at the top of his lungs, not caring what the consequences of his confession would be as the constant complaining were eating at his patience. When the words were out, hanging in the air in silence, Dongwoon felt relieved for a moment before a feeling of distress creeped it’s way under his skin when Kikwang’s eyes widened and realization hit him.

Kikwang wasn’t even sure if he had heard right but the words had been vocalized in a way that nobody could escape it and no matter how many times he replayed the voice in his mind, it still said the same thing. “W-what?” he asked anyways, his voice barely above a whisper as it trembled slightly.

“I-I love you...Hyung.” Dongwoon said again, his head hanging low as he didn’t dare to look into the eyes of the other. He couldn’t turn back now, he knew it was already too late but he wanted to save himself the pain of watching the twisting emotions in the dancers eyes. “I know it’s wrong but…” his breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes when another wave of fresh tears threatened to fall behind his eyelids. “...I still love you and it hurts and-”

Dongwoon inhaled sharply when a pair of arms wrapped itself around his waist and Kikwang’s chin rested itself on his trembling shoulder. “Is that the reason for avoiding me?” the shorter boy asked worriedly and Dongwoon merely nodded weakly in response, the answer not being the complete truth but the strength to talk had suddenly completely washed out of the maknae’s body.

Kikwang pulled back, staying close as he forced Dongwoon to look up from the floor and meet his eyes. “I can’t answer you now…” he said and carefully dried the tears from the others face with a small smile. “...but I will, I promise you that, okay?”

“You’re not rejecting me?” Dongwoon asked numbly and stared tiredly into the deep orbs in front of him, feeling drained from all energy as his knees threatened to buckle under him. And they would have if the wall hadn’t been there to support him.

Kikwang shook his head and smiled weakly. “No...No, I’m not rejecting you.” he answered, watching as Dongwoon closed his eyes and exhaled a breath he had been unknowingly holding. “Let’s go to bed.” Kikwang suggested when the maknae stumbled on his weak legs and the dancer were forced to support the boy as they made their way to the bedroom.

They didn’t bother to wash up as Kikwang guided the other to the mattress and tucked him in under the blanket, watching as the maknae snuggled into the cushion and turned his back to him in pure exhaustion. The boys brain hadn’t fully processed the outcome of their argument and he didn’t bother to try and think about it but fell asleep almost the same moment he hit the cushions.

Kikwang lingered for a while, sitting on the edge of the bed as a million thoughts busied his brain in an endless whirlwind. He tried to figure out the feelings of his heart but it turned out to be more difficult than anything he had experienced before and he realized how complicated and twisted love can truly be.

***

“Remind me, why was I dragged here again?” Junhyung whispered bitterly beside Doojoon as they walked along the pavement in the late evening, the change in temperature from the warm days sending a shiver of goose bumps along the rappers arms and making him hug himself tightly.

“I have no idea.” Doojoon whispered back, his lips close to the others ear as he watched Hyunseung’s back in front of them with a frown. Junhyung hit the leaders shoulder with his signature slap and frowned. “Yah! You’re the leader for gods sake.” he scolded and earned a chuckle from Doojoon.

“I know but I just...kind of drifted with the crowd. He practically forced everyone out through that door.” he explained and chuckled again when he remembered the scene of everyone squeezing through the cramped space at the same time while Hyunseung kept ushering them from behind. “I still don’t know what I’m doing here.”

Junhyung huffed. He would much rather be in his bed right now and sleep instead of wandering the streets with a seemingly undetermined destination that drifted further and further away from the dorm. On top of that, he was freezing because of the drop of temperature during the night and his body wasn’t accustomed to the change. “Yah! Hyunseung-ah! Let’s go back already.” he complained and shivered as a wind caused another wave of goose bumps on his bare arms.

Hyunseung stopped in his tracks and looked back at the grumpy rapper with a quite serious expression, at another occasion he would have laughed at the boys childishness but other much more serious thoughts occupied his mind. “You can go back the two of you.” he said and nodded towards Yoseob beside him. “We’ll stay a bit longer.”

Junhyung exhaled in relief and immediately his heel to walk back to the dorm. “Don’t stay out for too long, okay? And make sure we can reach you if something happens.” Doojoon lectured before catching up to the rapper, chuckling at the whining of the other as another wind graced his skin and he hugged himself tighter.

Hyunseung watched the two disappear before turning to Yoseob beside him. “We need to talk.” he stated and sighed. They found a bench and sat down in silence, Hyunseung tried to gather a proper sentence to start the conversation and reveal what he thought was a potential love triangle but never really found the right way.

“Do Kikwang know?” he finally asked and looked at Yoseob beside him, the boy fiddling with his fingers at the question. The vocal shook his head as an answer and Hyunseung heaved a sigh. “I think we’ve got a problem, Yoseob-ah. I think Dongwoon’s behaviour lately is because you like Kikwang.”

Yoseob’s busy fingers paused. “What do you mean?” he frowned and turned his body towards the other member with worry lacing his words. He didn’t like the sound of that sentence and the thought of him being the cause of another members pain kicked him hard in the gut.

“I think our maknae has a secret too if I’m not mistaken.” Hyunseung answered, beating around the bush as he wasn’t sure how he should properly voice out the theory that had been bugging his mind since Yoseob confessed his feelings to him. “I think...he too...is in love with Kikwang.” he breathed and glanced sideways at Yoseob to catch his reaction.

“Y-you sure.” Yoseob stuttered, swallowing down his throat as he clenched his fists resting on his thighs. He wasn’t sure how to react to the new information but he was unable to stop the sting of jealousy that erupted from his chest. It wasn’t suppose to be a competition, he wasn’t suppose to feel threatened but Yoseob did and for a brief moment he got scared of his own thoughts.

“No, I’m not sure, Yoseob.” Hyunseung shook his head. “But it makes sense. He has been avoiding Kikwang for a long time now and it started around the time when you told him about your feelings, right?”

Yoseob could only nod as he realized how logical the explanation was and how perfectly it fit with the maknae’s behaviour and ashamedly the vocal felt afraid of losing Kikwang to the younger boy. “If it’s true...what do I do?” he asked and looked down into his lap at the fists he had been clenching.

“You need to solve it. All of you.” Hyunseung answered and patted Yoseob’s back in encouragement. “Confess to him, tell him how you feel and then let him decide what he wants to do. I know a relationship is risky but this can’t go on, okay? The three of you need to clean out your feelings and sort things out.” he advised and waited for Yoseob to nod at his words.

“I’ll try.”

“Good.” Hyunseung rose from his seat and held out a hand towards the blonde boy with a smile. “You’ll be fine.” he said and forcefully grabbed to others hand in his when the boy didn’t react to take it himself. “We probably need to go back to the dorm.” he stated and started dragging Yoseob with him on the pavement, the vocal being still deep in his trance as his heart raced at the thoughts of a confession.

Hyunseung chuckled when he realized he had just advised Yoseob to confess to another member in the group when he initially thought that the first couple would be Junhyung and Doojoon if anyone. It sure was starting to get twisted.

---

Okay...so...Dongwoon confessed his love to Kikwang before 2jun even got together? Well well, applause maknae! Haha, this love triangle thingy just kind of hit my mind so we'll see what's going to happen ^^ And of course we need some more 2jun... I mean they need to get together soon like what am I writing instead of getting those two to confess? This is mainly a 2jun fic after all...lol >_<

I hope you enjoyed this update and thank you for patiently waiting through my tough week! I have much more free time now so hopefully I'll be able to write some more now~^^ Please keep on commenting and thank you to all the silent readers as well!<3

Bye~