Lami looked at the other members. Back then, when she debuted as an SM Rookie, she was the youngest out of all of them. She was the only female not to debut back then. And that time, she found herself as the leader of NG. It was such an honour. When they debuted the year before, she couldn’t believe how welcomed the fans made her feel.

Sometimes, leaders of each group have a meeting. Leeteuk leads the meeting since he was the most loved leader out of SM. Onew also attends the meeting, Suho, Victoria, Irene, Manse  and Hansol. When it was Lami’s first meeting, she felt the thrill. She felt like a leader. The others gave her advice and cheered her on as the leader of the newest girl group.

“Yah, eonni, Seuli stole my phone!” Mintae whined. “I did not!” Minseul screamed back. MiYeon, the maknae, groaned. “Shut the frick frack up!” she screamed. It was always chaos in the NG home, especially with Mintae going around the room, dancing random dances even though she was assigned to be a rapper, not a dancer.

“Tell Jimin that,” Lami said, passing the baton to the next eldest member who was the same age as Mintae, only a day older. “Eonni!” Mintae screamed, her loud and deep voice resounding in the dorm. “I am busy!” Jimin screamed from her room. “What is happening?” Yoonhae, Lami’s assistant leader basically, went into the room.

“Mintae and Minseul again,” Lami groaned. Louis sighed. “In EXO-sunbaenim’s group, you see the rapper and visuals getting all lovey dovey. The same with Irene-eonni and Seulgi-eonni but here is NG, with the visuals and rapper bickering,” she commented. “This is why I want to be in YG!” MiYeon said as she rolled off the sofa.

“Shh, manager-oppa might hear you,” Mintae told her. “Shut up, you’re not the boss of me. Swaeg,” MiYeon said, making them suddenly burst into laughter. “I knew you guys could patch yourselves up,” Jimin entered the room with her headphones on her neck. She was wearing casual clothes and she didn’t have any make-up.

Lami thought at first, she couldn’t handle these kids. She thought she would feel out of place. Though they all trained together for 2 years as NG, these five were friends even before their trainee days. They auditioned for different companies but were rejected, except in SM for some reason. Minseul, Jimin and MiYeon auditioned for YG. Louis auditioned for SM originally. And Mintae auditioned for the most companies, including JYP and Cube.

“I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like. And right now, there’s a steel knife in my windpipe,” Mintae suddenly started rapping. “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn! Burn!” MiYeon started getting in the group. Minseul snickered and played a controversial HyunA song, High Heels.

She then danced to it with Jimin following her. Lami laughed and sang along with her members. She suddenly thought of what Venice told her before. An idol never gets to be truly happy if it’s a company like SM.

Luhan slumped his back against the soft cushion and looked at Sehun. “How is it? Being rejected again?” he asked. Sehun scoffed. “She’s just warming up to me,” he said. “By the way, hyung, why did you let Milan go? She was in your grasp yet you want Chanyeol to win her,” he asked as he sat next to the actor.

“It’s… It was because I still have sasaeng fans and I have to keep my word,” Luhan calmly said. “What if she still loves you?” Sehun asked. Luhan shook his head. “I’m sure it’s just infatuation. I was her bias since her teenage years. If it was love, she could’ve made a move on Taemin already,” he laughed for a moment. “That’s it. She said she loves you but Taemin was her number 1 right?” Sehun said.

Luhan shook his head. “That’s just stupid, Sehun. And I don’t want to think about that. This is my first SM Town concert after years, being an artist in China. I want to relax,” he said. Sehun frowned. “Yah, you don’t want romance in your life yet you said years ago you wanted to get married immediately,” he argued. “I can wait,” Luhan smiled mischievously.

“That’s so corny, hyung!” Sehun hit Luhan’s arm. “Well, it’s called sweetness, maknae,” Luhan stuck his tongue out before laughing. “You don’t know a thing about romance,” he added. “Yah, I do!” Sehun countered. “Girls love it when you compliment them and be sweet,” he gave an example. “Except for that girl you like,” Luhan interjected.

Sehun fumed. “Well, she’s not really a girl,” he explained. Luhan almost laughed. “Just like her sister then,” he clasped his hands. Sehun disagreed though. “Milan loves affection when she’s sure no fan was around. Remember how sweet Chanyeol-hyung was to her? And when we carried her to Sukira?” he asked. Luhan shrugged.

“She’s not the same. She hates affection now, except if it’s from her sister, surely,” Luhan said. Sehun rolled his eyes. “Are you sure? I saw Milan with Bambam earlier and she sure loves clinging to him,” he reasoned. “Liar,” Luhan said. “Bambam has a girlfriend already,” he added.

"Anyway, we all know Bambam loves his girlfriend.”

“Ah, Chanyeol-hyung, can you take Milan back to her condo? I have a guesting in Idol School,” Bambam said, repeating “mianhae”s. “I have to meet with our manager,” Taemin said, bowing. “I promised to meet with Kyungsoo in the mall,” Kai said, scratching the back of his head.

Both of Milan’s and Chanyeol’s eyes widened. “I can… I can take care of myself,” she said. “The last time you’ve been in Seoul was 4 years ago. A lot has changed. It’s better if Chanyeol-hyung was with you,” Kai explained. She hesitantly glanced at Chanyeol then back to the trio. She sighed. “Alright. It’s just one quick drive after all,” she bit her lower lip.

“Drive? Uh, Milan-ssi, Chanyeol-hyung didn’t bring a car but hey, your condo is near here right?” Kai said. Milan’s expression darkened. “Neo… Neo… Niga jinjjaro? Neo jinjja paboya?” She exploded. She sighed again. “It’s alright. This is business, Milan,” she breathed in deeply. “It’s alright, Kai-ssi. Problems happen. It is quite near here,” she said.

After saying goodbyes, and Bambam repeatedly apologizing to his best friend, the trio went off to do their jobs, leaving Milan and Chanyeol alone to walk. “Uh, kaja?” Chanyeol awkwardly asked. Milan lightly nodded, feeling the same awkwardness.

“Eh, Chanyeol-ssi, mianhamnida,” Milan suddenly apologized. “For what?” Chanyeol asked. “For everything, from the point I became your composer to the point I left without any announcement. I am so sorry,” she explained. Chanyeol shook his head and sadly smiled. “Well, it was for your own protection. We didn’t want anything to happen to you and Mae cleared every possible misunderstanding,” he told her.

“Jinjja?” A sigh of relief went out of . “But I changed, compared to you. I’m not the same Milan you knew. The fresh graduate filled with her hopes and dreams? She disappeared,” she said. Chanyeol patted her head. “No, she’s just hiding, afraid to come out because of her fear she might get hurt again and her hopes shattered. I know you, Milan,” he told her.

“Yeah, you sure do,” Milan smiled sadly, slowly accepting the fact. “Could we go back to how we were? When you called me oppa? When we used informal language to each other? When you smiled a lot every time you were talking with somebody?” Chanyeol asked. Milan paused, opened then closed it again.

“I can’t… I don’t know how to go back,” Milan told him, stopping in her tracks. “It’s not easy, trust me. I tried before, when I trained B8T but I can’t. Ask Mark or Jisung, I just can’t,” she shared. “You can start by thinking positive,” Chanyeol turned to her and held her hands.