I don't want to believe

Minho watches Junmyeon look out in the distance, lost in thought. Everyone seems to be out of it lately, all because of one young man that’s impacted their lives in a way no one predicted.

“Do you think he’s…” Junmyeon trials off.

Minho sighs before he answers, “An opportunistic liar? Maybe. Do I believe he is? I don’t want to believe it. How ‘bout you? Do you think there’s a chance he may be like everyone else who came and went from our lives before?” He snaps Junmyeon out of his pondering; eyes staring back at him looking so… absent.

“I don’t… know.” Junmyeon slowly flips his phone to see its screen. It was opened to where he last had it, his chat window with Baekhyun, where the younger had last sent a reply ‘thank you, but I can take care of myself’. Distant and detached. “All I know, is that all I ever saw and felt from him – was sincerity. —

“His love for Chanyeol is all true, and that is all that matters to me.—

“That is what I believe in.”

♠♠♠

Baekhyun doesn’t know when things turned for the worst. He was already mulling over the conflict he created for himself, and yet now this. It’s like the world is out to get him and will be unforgiving until he takes responsibility for his lies.

♠

Before Baekhyun could even attempt to tell the boys of his truth, Chanyeol especially, he was faced with a sudden huge predicament of potentially losing his home.

“Pay up or you leave, Byun! This is the final warning!” Baekhyun’s landlady shouts at him. “How many times have I given you chances? Extensions? But every time you are late! I’ve had enough of it!”

“But Madame, please. I’ll pay. I promise. I always pay. Just…. please.” Baekhyun begs teary eyed.

She grimaces; looking at him like the filth he is before she finally turns to leave, a last few words that had Baekhyun collapsing to his knees on the stairs of his apartment. “Someone wants to move in soon. At least they can give me my money with no ridiculous delays.”

“Please… I have nowhere else to stay…” he sobs.

Baekhyun enters his apartment still crying and picks up the first thing close to him, a plate. He was about to throw it, full of anger and frustration and just downright self-pity. He wanted to break it, hear it crack and shatter to pieces like his entire being at the moment. To maybe even injure himself like the first time, reopen the wounds that haven’t yet completely healed and maybe, just maybe, he can use it as an excuse.

Someone cared back then… right?

But he didn’t.

He didn’t because even in these despairing times he still thought of how much it will take to replace it. That it will just be all worthless because this time, no one is going to come to his aid. Not Junmyeon, not Chanyeol, not anyone.

Because at the end of the day – he’s left and alone.

Again, Baekhyun sinks to his knees. The plate slides off from his hand and makes a little tink as it safely hits the floor, still whole and intact, a contrasting metaphor to his chaos of a life. Tears quietly flow but now he remains unmoving, as if void of emotion, simply exhausted.

Nothing but darkness surrounds him and stays even though uninvited. Somber, depressing, daunting. His electricity still cut off and he lacked the energy or the mind to light a candle.

The only time he moves is w