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It seems the weather after tonight’s mass gave leeway to the celebration as the rain stopped. The sky was still overcast with dark clouds but a few stars have shown peaking every now and then as if passing on a message: ‘let your eyes twinkle and be merry, today is the 25th of December’.

Still overwhelmed with happiness, Baekhyun exited the church hand-in-hand with Chanyeol as he basked in the joy of his surroundings. Feelings of envy and loneliness he felt the previous years after mass had ended, gone and replaced by utter bliss. And as everyone else was busy with their greetings, chit chats and happy conversations, Baekhyun looks up at the sky saying a silent greeting to his grandmother.

Merry Christmas grandmamma. I’m happy; I hope you are too.

But all these were again cut short as his insecurities and anxiety return in a flash as he faced Chanyeol’s relatives ready for the awaited introduction; unconsciously letting go of his hand with a small step backward in a failed attempt to hide.

“Yo cuz~” One of them greets as he eyed oddly the person beside his cousin.

“Hey Chanyeol” Another cousin joins in giving Baekhyun a once-over.

On the other hand, Chanyeol’s face was once again void of emotions – the happiness he radiated earlier gone and a return to the indifferent state they have come to know of.

Funny, how a mere unwanted presence can change a mood in an instant.

“Chanyeol, they’ve been curious.” Yura, who sensed the sudden dark atmosphere, cuts in to hopefully lift it. “You should probably introduce him formally.”

Sighing, Chanyeol does as he is told. “These are my cousins.” He faces Baekhyun, voice gentle. With a sudden shift of voice to monotone, Chanyeol introduces Baekhyun, not even bothering with formalities of introducing each other by name in return. “Friend.”

Standing beside Chanyeol with a stance of a frightened animal, Baekhyun gives them a meek greeting; completely disregarding how he was introduced. Bowing politely with a forced smile that he hopes was not noticeable.

“Hello umm… By-”

He was about to fully introduce himself, but the discreet sudden movement forward of the other had him stopping. The look Chanyeol had had been blank but his stance alone showed authority. In the end, he stays silent; letting Chanyeol take control for he is too frightened to even think rationally.

In response, Baekhyun receives a mix of genuine hellos and fake forced greetings of smiles and nods of acknowledgement. The obvious fakery of a few had Chanyeol’s face morphing into a displeased frown, unconsciously pulling Baekhyun a little behind him; his protectiveness surfacing.

“Friend? Oorrr…” One of them speaks in a cheeky tone, expectant of a specific answer but receiving none.

“So Yejin’s kapeesh then? Aww.. and I liked her too.” Another joins in as if taunting.

“Does that mean no more Han and Parks merging?” A male cousin of his asks innocently.

“ing shut up you dimwits.” Yura countered in, immensely annoyed at how rude her cousins were being. “Jeez.. and I just came from mass.” She rubs her temples.

Chanyeol has never been fond of his cousins; they were elitists in behavior and attitude – not even bothering to be discreet about it; probably not even aware. However, he would have still given the effort to introduce Baekhyun formally; no second thoughts of proudly introducing him as his. But that was before he heard their earlier whisperings – loud enough that he was sure even Minho and Junmyeon heard – all the more Baekhyun and that was unacceptable. Angered by it all, he could not help the sudden disdain he felt towards them. In the end, he chose to omit who Baekhyun is; the fear of them prying into his life and dragging along Baekhyun was something he was adamant to prevent. For now, let them think what they want, as long as they stay away.

Yura, who got the message of Chanyeol’s intentions, sided with her brother’s choice of not fully introducing Byun Baekhyun.

The prying of each other’s lives was not new to them; having born with a silver spoon and under a powerful name gave them the freedom and power to do whatever they wanted – even pry at someone else’s privacy. And they knew and feared that if Baekhyun was given attention, he would be next in their target list of gossip within the Park’s clan; it wasn’t the first time after all.

Baekhyun’s mind was reeling in fear and insecurity; greatly concerned of the possible scrutiny he might face. The thought of his poor status being exposed increased his anxiety far worse than any time before and feeling the smallest he had ever been. The earlier whisperings Chanyeol’s cousins had earlier, he did not miss. It sent his heart lurching in pain of an indirect slap of the big difference he had from them and Han Yejin. The indirect jab caused his thoughts of telling the truth to another abrupt halt. The intimidating sophisticated aura they had did not help either; all the more the seeming power their voices and manner held. They were completely different from Team E.B.; they gave off exactly the same vibe as Yongguk and his gang.

Fortunately for Baekhyun, his friends did not miss the fear he exuded. For people who did not know him, Baekhyun only came off as a timid, quiet character. But for the people who do, they knew he was beyond frightened and that concerned them greatly.

“Baekhyun!” Junmyeon calls out; slightly bowing politely in greeting Chanyeol’s cousins at the same time who only gave him nods of acknowledgment in return.

Suddenly delighted of a familiar voice, Baekhyun looks towards Junmyeon then to Chanyeol asking a silent permission. Chanyeol, who had not missed the fear in his eyes and behavior, nodded a silent go. Immediately, Baekhyun politely bows an excuse me to the other Parks and turns towards Junmyeon; controlling himself from running and keeping his calm pace to hide his desire of being anywhere but near them.

Both Yura and Chanyeol watch as Baekhyun embraces Junmyeon as soon as he reaches him, an obvious slump to his shoulders as he falls into his arms; an apparent relief.

“Odd kid.” One of their cousins voices out, frowning as he watched the exchange between Chanyeol’s friends.

“Do you guys have to be so rude?” Yura suddenly calls out, still annoyed at their earlier behavior.

“Hey hey~ Chill couz… We’re just curious.”

“Yeah. Chanyeol has never had anyone with him before, not even Yejin.”

“Yea, what’s up with that? Does auntie even know you have a new one?”

“Think she’ll approve? She loved Yejin a lot.”

“Where’s Yejin anyway-”

“My life is none of your business.” Chanyeol cuts in. His face stoic, but his eyes and voice said otherwise; both stern and laced with authority that rarely saw him show.

Thankfully, their cousins have gotten the hint and nothing further was said; dwelling on their curiosity amongst themselves without the siblings.

On the other side, Junmyeon and Minho comforts Baekhyun the best they can. Concerned of his well-being after the whispers they heard earlier from the Park’s cousins that they were sure he too heard.

“I’m sorry about their behavior.” Junmyeon apologizes in Chanyeol’s behalf as he pats Baekhyun’s back who still clung to him tightly not wanting to let go.

“Don’t listen to them; they just don’t know how to behave around other people.” Minho ruffles his hair from behind Junmyeon. “They’re just a bunch of spoiled rich kids who knows nothing else than to bask in their golden lives.”

Minho’s silly tone calmed Baekhyun down. So he lets go of Junmyeon only to cling to Minho next; burying his face on his chest.

The affectionate gesture had both Junmyeon and Minho smiling delightedly. Minho especially as he embraces Baekhyun back just as tightly, rubbing his back comfortingly. Not used to the affection but greatly welcomed.

“Are you hungry Baek?” Junmyeon asks, running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair and brushing away the strays on his face; smiling at the other who nodded meekly then nuzzled back his face on Minho’s chest. Such a baby.

From afar, Chanyeol is torn in half as he watched the heartwarming exchange of his friends. He was happy, thankful of his friends’ presence that seemed to help Baekhyun a lot amidst his cousins’ rude behavior. But he was also saddened and ashamed; not able to protect Baekhyun and being related to people who seem to know nothing about respect and good behavior. These are one of those things that he feared Baekhyun would face; hence why he was adamant of hiding who Baekhyun is in his life for the time being.

“I’m sorry Chanyeol.” Yura apologizes; feeling remorseful of their behavior and sighs dejectedly. “I didn’t think…”

“No. None of it is your fault noona. They’ve been like that ever since.” Chanyeol looks at her with the same resigned expression. “I’m not surprised.”

“Still though…” She looks to Baekhyun’s direction and couldn’t help but smile distractedly at the obvious affectionate exchange of the three.

“Where in the world did you snag such a person brother? I’ve known your friends for a long time but this is my first time seeing them so… loving; and of all people, Minho too?”

“We must have done something great in our previous lives. I must have done something, no?”

“Tsh~ lucky bastard you are.”

“But I’m glad.” Her eyes soften, smile still present as she now watches Baekhyun be tickled by Junmyeon. “After everything, you deserve the happiness. All of you.”

For a moment it was silent, both silently watching Chanyeol’s friends from afar glad that Baekhyun seems to be feeling better. But Chanyeol breaks the silence with a voice that hinted fear.

“I’m scared noona.”

Looking at her brother, she was slightly caught off guard by the emotions that reflected him – a look she last saw months ago after his break up – the apparent fear she knew all too well.

“Of what, Chanyeol?”

“He’ll be exposed to our world; you know how that’ll be like. It’s already happening with them.” He nods towards their cousins who were talking amongst themselves. “I’m afraid of the day he will be fully exposed.”

“I see.” She sighs in understanding, shoulders slumping in resignation. “Just don’t do what I did Chanyeol. Left the man I love to follow mother’s orders and then regretting it all afterwards.”

“Fight for him if you must.”

“She already controlled my life before, not this time she will. Whether she likes it or not, I’m not going to leave Baekhyun.” Chanyeol answers with a shift of voice to that of resolve, his eyes reflecting firmness. Not this time.

♠♠♠

Before they leave, Baekhyun had excused himself to the bathroom – a much needed moment alone to calm down and straighten his thoughts; still a bit shaken of the earlier encounter with Chanyeol’s cousins.

It was hard to not let their words affect him. Everything felt like an indirect jab that adds to the burden of the truth he hid – of the truth he is not.

Facing the mirror, Baekhyun looks at himself. And what he sees saddens him, feelings of shame causing heartache – an innocent looking boy hiding behind a big lie. He was stuck on the desire to tell them – the fear that they might find out through Yejin; and keeping it till the end – the fear of them leaving – overshadowing bravery.

But he smiles to himself at the thought of Chanyeol, Junmyeon and Minho outside waiting for him.

This encounter was inevitable. He just did not expect it to be so soon.

Deciding to not dwell on further – it was Christmas after all, not today. With one last look on the mirror, inhaling a heavy breath, he silently encourages himself.

Just for tonight. Forget.

However, upon his exit, on his way back to his friends, he bumps into a person he least expected. It seems Christmas this year was mixed with fortunate and unfortunate events.

Nearly tripping and out of fast reflexes, Baekhyun ends up holding onto the stranger he bumped into.

“I’m sorry. Sorry.” He bows repeatedly in apology after an immediate pull away. “I’m very sorry. Excuse me--”

When he receives no reply, he looks up to the person and gets the shock of his life. It was no stranger, it was Bang Yongguk.

Frozen and rendered speechless, his just calmed heart racing back to rapid thumpings in mere milliseconds, trauma of past encounters flashing in his memory; Baekhyun simply gapes – eyes wide and not able to form anything coherent. His mind reeling with the earlier fear he felt now tenfold in anxiety. No…

For a moment they stare at each other – Baekhyun’s obvious frightened eyes and Yongguk’s blank stare void of emotions.

What snaps him back to his senses was Chanyeol’s booming voice calling out to him from a distance. Fear increasing even more than possible – Yongguk is going to find out.

“Baekhyun!”

Mind confused and reeling with anxiety, not sure what to do and lost on how to react, Baekhyun remains frozen. However, what he sees next freezes him for an entirely different reason.

When Yongguk turned to the direction of the voice, finally facing Chanyeol, he saw a fleeting emotion pass through his eyes; a second of an emotion that completely catches him off guard. Loneliness.

Finally looking at Chanyeol, he somehow began to understand but at the same time left him in wonder.

Chanyeol was standing alone, his sister barely beside him as she chatted with Junmyeon and Minho a little far behind; the rest of the Park and Kim’s family happily chatting in the background – a circle of big family warmth surrounding him.

It was nothing but a random crowd of people behind Chanyeol among a bigger crowd of strangers. But to Baekhyun, who knew of their associations to each other, who grew up surrounded with no family besides his lone grandmother – it was an impossible dream; a great yearning.

He looks ba