I still haven't figured out how to write the next chapters so do be aware that there will prolly be another long hiatus after this. Not quitting! But also not half assing the writing just because I want it done and over with lol. So my endless apologies on that.

I also met someone recently who told me that she was asked by some readers if they knew the writer of Ubuntu, how much they love it, and that they were waiting for updates and I'm just..... I'm crei?? From a stranger no less (given the fact too that I don't really bring up I'm the writer of this. My friend just had to be loud, haha). Whoever you people are, 'cause I was told it wasn't just one, let me dump you with rainbows and four leaf clovers (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I truly appreciate everyone who expresses their love for this fic here online, I truly really absolutely do (it always makes me cry tears of joy inside), but it's one thing to read touching words to hearing them in person, having someone else say it to you. The gravity of hearing people appreciate this fic is just... my heart hurts, in a good way ♥ You all are the reason why I'm still here despite having practically gone now~

So I decided to release this, one I've written for awhile now just had no plans posting it yet for.... reasons, hehe... even though I know it's....  I hope you feel the feels? ; v ;

Now on to the story~

"I'm a coward"

Shortly after the party, holiday break ends and school begins once again. Baekhyun comes back to his lone somber apartment that felt twice emptier than before. The reality of his situation - his lies and pretends - crashes on his chest twice heavier. Three times unbearable.

It was just barely two weeks of living with Chanyeol, a too short time of being surrounded by luxury and a worry-free lifestyle, but returning back to his apartment had never felt more devastating.

This was his reality. His truth of a life. Where his cupboards housed cobwebs; his bed just a springy old dumpster foam; his floors dingy wooden boards, no carpeted marbles; where his windows beam broken neon lights of a dirty rundown one star hotel. Far from Chanyeol's penthouse with the skyline in view and a sunrise for hope.

This is his life.

Though it wasn't really experiencing the short-term material gain and ease of a wealthy lifestyle that affected him. No, it was more than that. It was having a 'home'.

The joy of being loved.

Now, the pain of loneliness drowns Baekhyun so heavily that in the first night he spent away from Chanyeol he was sobbing endlessly through the night. Broken in pieces. Guilt, dread, longing, a long time of trying to hold himself sane and as stable his emotions as he can manage - all mixed into one huge miserable boulder on his shoulders.

In front of a lonesome candle after his power was cut off, Baekhyun whispers to no one, "I just wanted someone to love me again."

♠️

Baekhyun begins to slowly distance himself from the boys. Because as all cowards are, it's easier to run away.

It was much, much easier.

They notice, of course. Baekhyun has changed after the party. He has gotten more… recluse, distant. As if it burned to be around them, to be one of them. Even Kyungsoo was subjected to his misery where he stopped clinging to the baker unlike before. Even his grandfather saw how Baekhyun has changed from being the sunbright waiter to just a sad vegetable.

Jongdae was the most suspicious, as he had always been. He wasn't blind to the insecurities that were practically written in bold letters on Baekhyun's face that night of the party. None of them were.

“What do you think Baekhyun is hiding from us?” He wondered aloud one day.

"You really think he's keeping something from us? Minho frowns.

The boys have one by one began to look back at the things they noticed about Baekhyun they used to brush off; matters they thought nothing of and decided to ignore for they deemed it 'irrelevant'. From the very fact that Baekhyun