I had a strange feeling the moment I opened my eyes. My bed was one of the most comfortable things in the world yet it wasn’t enough to comfort me. A mixed feeling of worry and fear were unavoidable at this rate. The vision of the plane tickets were the first thing that appeared into mind. An obsession of overthinking was becoming a bad habit for myself and yes I needed to end it. Accepting the fact that he will leave at any given moment was the only way. I needed to truly accept it. Stop falling for him. But heck, who am I kidding? Who on earth would know how to “stop” loving someone? I seriously wanted to know the answer to this question. I went online and did a quick search on Naver. There was an article that taught you how breaking up feels like. I clicked on it of course. Some people suggested I should eat some strong seasoned kimchi to see for myself.

I ran downstairs and opened the fridge. I gobbled a handful of kimchi. I squinted my eyes tight. They were super sour and spicy I can tell you that for a fact. I guess this was it. If I could go through these intense flavors then it wouldn’t be so hard to let go of Jackson. Eating spicy food is the same feeling of saying goodbye to a love one. At first, it’s uncomfortable and will bring tears to your eyes. But after a glass of milk or two, the spicy taste will go away. Eventually we’ll move on.

No matter how stupid that sounded, I found myself believing it. Maybe, just maybe… I will survive this.

I went back to my bed and grabbed my lipbalm from under the pillow. Accidently dropping it, I bent down to pick it up only to find a box under my bed. It had a new pair of sport shoes inside. A few days back, I did some shopping and picked these especially for Jackson. I hugged them to my chest and stood up. Why was I kidding to myself? Why did I push him away when that’s the last thing I wanted to do? It’s obvious this time. I can’t let him go. I can’t let Jackson go without saying anything. I don’t want our relationship to end like this. I’m crazy about him. Wang Jackson. I’m crazy about you and I don’t want to see you go.

[ Key: Kang-Joon | Youngji (bold) ]

“Jackson! Jackson! Wang Jackson! Open the door! *door opens*”

“What the? Youngji?”

“Sorry.. um… can I see Jackson please?”

“Oh, he left.”

“W-W-When? Where to?”

“...To the airport. Didn’t he tell you?”

“Obviously not. When did he go?”

“15 minutes ago- Ya! Youngji!”

I ran out of the house with the box of shoes held tight against my chest. I hopped onto a taxi and told the driver to take me to the airport as quickly as possible. I cannot be late!

It was almost as if my nightmare from the other night came to life. Only in real life, it was less chaotic. That feeling of anticipation and a hint of excitement were evident. It was the moment of realisation that changed everything. I was motivated to put our relationship back on track. Yes! I finally came to my senses. Jackson is the person I needed to be with and I was going to get him back. As soon as I walked into the airport, my eyes and legs worked like a team. It felt like I could run faster than ever before. I could see everything so clearly. I looked at the flight board to see departures. Flights to Hong Kong were boarding. With hope slowly disappearing, I started to feel anxious.

Everywhere.

That’s where I searched for him.

There wasn’t a place I missed.

Sadly, I was already too late.

--

Memories played in the back of my mind as I sat through the longest car ride of my life. Everything that had ever happened between the two of us led to this very moment. And Jackson had already left. I gave the taxi driver his money and stepped outside. I didn’t feel like going home but I didn’t want to be too far away either. Walking past the beef burger restaurant reminded me of a happy time. Ah yes, it was after our meeting with the PD of Roommate. After agreeing upon having no scripts between JackJi. Oh how it meant so much to me. It just goes to show that our friendship was strong enough. We didn’t need any script to define our relationship. Our development was real and that’s what makes everything so beautiful and rare in the moment of television.

I stopped at the Soulful Karaoke and looked through the glass entrance door. I wore my sunglasses and walked in. It was a different girl serving at the front desk. I