Title: I Love You

Paring: KeyCole

Rating: G

WC: 2,496

Summary: When he loses it, that’s when he realizes.

A/N: @tbnklove asked for a KeyCole before so...here it is :)

Laughters erupted in the whole studio as Minho finished his story about their crazy encounter with the room service of a certain hotel from another country. The show - Strong Heart, was going well, the celebrity stars never failed to make the audience laugh with their remarks. The PDs were smiling widely as it’s the first time in years that Strong Heart is broadcasted live and was receiving such great response from people watching on television. Truthfully they were dying in nervous attack before the show started because this time there’ll be no computer edits or graphical edits or whatsoever to make the show more fun but thankfully the show was going fine with the help of the guest stars who were willingly cooperating with the idea.

But, behind those smiles and laughters the real motive of the special show was hidden from the public and only these stars and crew knows the reason why they were there and why Strong Heart is being broadcasted live.

“Waa I never thought that SHINee experiences those kinds of things too!” Kang HoDong laughed as he take a seat, after the down fall of his career in the past years he had made a successful comeback early this year and is now making everyone laugh with his previous shows that he had left before.

“I’m speechless” Lee Seunggi shook his head as the laughter downed into small smiles.

“Up until now we too can’t believe what had happened” SHINee’s Leader, Onew, continued on.

It was like that, the show was made for these people to share their stories of happiness and even sadness. To let the ordinary ones to have a look inside a celebrity’s life, to know their secrets, and feel the emotions they have felt. That was the format of the show, the guests would have a talk battle and whoever wins well he or she will have the opportunity to be called the winner of course. Yet, today since its extra special there’ll be no winner only memories to be shared and stories to be unfold.

“Aigoo, idols nowadays” Hodong made an exaggerated sigh and laughed as he went on with the next topic. But, as soon as he saw what’s on his cue card he started trembling and looked carefully on him and the rest of the guest. Everyone knew what was coming; the reason would be out in no time.

It’s a sensitive topic; a memory would be once again recalled and will make everyone feel the same.

Everyone turned rigid as Hodong begun talking, carefully picking the right words to say and not let his emotions to lead him.

“SHINee’s latest album is doing great in the charts, your title song keeps on winning every week…” He trailed off and let the words hang on its own, he looked at Seunggi and then at Boom who was on the side seated along with the guests as a permanent one together with Super Junior’s Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, and Shindong, hoping to have some back-up once he messed up.

Jonghyun gulped the lumped which got stuck in his throat unknowingly and nodded his head as Hodong made an eye contact with him giving the MC the signal and approval to continue his words.

“…I’ve personally heard the whole album… And it’s great” He continued

“It’s a brand new SHINee in my opinion” Seunggi added smiling at the said group.

“Indeed it is!” Boom chimed in showing his two thumbs up at the certain person who had been silent since the beginning.

“Ah... I’ve heard that you guys took part in the songs, I mean some of it was composed by you?” Onew answered the MC with a shy yes as the tension rise up to another notch.

He took another breathe in and hold onto the cue cards as if his dear life depended in it.

“One of it was the last track right? I personally like it above all the songs, maybe because of the reason but can you tell us more about it, Key-ssi?” Every eye turned to the said boy; he looked straight at Hodong and gave off a bitter smile. The studio went silent as they waited for his first sentence, as they observe his small actions, and as they hoped for this show to end quickly.

It was hard especially on his part, remembering the past that almost took his sanity. He slightly opened his mouth but then closed it again after a few seconds wondering how he’ll start without feeling anything.

“I… ” It felt like forever listening to his own voice actually talking about a memory he wished to forget.

“…I don’t really know what to say, I… I-uh haven’t heard of it” He let out a fake chuckle.

“But didn’t you write it?” Seunggi asked confusedly.

Jonghyun looked down at his lap as tears started welling up at the side of his eyes, hearing his best friend trying his best to fake a laugh while he knew that inside him he wanted to run and hide from the truth.

“…I’m scared of it” He mumbled looking down.

Taemin was shocked at this revelation and he knew it’s not only him but everyone else. This is not the Kim Kibum everyone had grown to know, he was Almighty for a reason never fearing anything in his life always succeeding, yet here he was admitting to the world that he’s afraid of his own composition.

“That’s why I never heard of it” He raised his head meeting the MCs eyes.

“Then, how come it’s on the album?”

“He doesn’t know about it” Minho answered for him “We were one song away to complete the album but we can’t decide which one. Then I sneakily went through his stuff because I know he can write songs and it was the first thing I saw” He bit his lip as he saw Kibum giving him a glare, the latter didn’t really know how it ended there and now that it has been said he can’t help but feel a little angry at his roommate for touching his things.

“So…what’s the story behind the song?” Key tensed at the sudden question from the older MC. He interlocked his fingers as he searched for his friends’ eyes. It’s getting painful in his part to say the words, but he knew everyone in the studio was feeling the same after all the guests were all part of them.

“A man in regret”

The studio was silent; Onew bit his lower lip at the tone his dongsaeng had used, though he knew about the song its different hearing it from him who had locked his feelings.

It was simple yet that answer was enough to bring tears in other people’s eyes as his past was no secret.

“The lyrics basically points that out.” He let out another set of fake laughter as he ran his fingers through his hair. He’s secretly dying inside recalling every memory when he was laughing heartily, jumping joyfully, and crying happily.

Suddenly a melody was heard throughout the studio.

“Why don’t we listen to the song itself, hmmn? Jonghyun, would you do the honor?” Hodong looked apologetically to Key who was shocked at the sudden turn of events. He too didn’t want this to happen but Kibum’s own members had asked them for this.

Tears were already lingering at everyone’s eyes as they watch Key. He was at lost, didn’t know what to do panic run through his system as Jonghyun stood in front holding a microphone. He abruptly stood up aiming to run away but he was stopped by Taemin’s hands pulling him back to his seat. He looked at their maknae pleading for his freedom but he didn’t let him go. He then turned to look at Minho but he too sternly ignored his plea, his eyes then turned to their Leader who mouthed him an apology.

He looked around, from PDs to the MCs to his hyungs at Super Junior and to his colleagues but they just ignored his plea and shook their heads apologetically.

I didn’t know it then, I didn’t realize

His hands shot right up to his ears as Jonghyun started.

The way you look me in the eyes, the voice that calls my name

He shut his eyes tightly and sang a different song trying to block his best friend’s wonderful voice.

If only you would smile and say everything is fine

A hand gently grabbed his and pulled it off his ears; he looked at its owner and his heart sunk at the sight of Taemin sitting on the platform beside him crying.

If only you would comeback

But he was back again as Jonghyun’s voice rung inside his now open ears.

“Please...?” He pleaded once more

I’ll treasure you my baby

Taemin pulled him into his embrace cannot hold on anymore at the sight of his hyung. He haven’t seen this side of Key, he was so used to the loud diva nagging hyung of his. But now he looked so helpless, desperate for freedom, defeated in a game, and so fragile in his arms.

He looked around and firstly saw Minho crying, he knew everyone was feeling pain because he too, but his Kibum hyung is in another story. And everyone knows why.

“…Hyung” At the sound of Taemin’s crying voice, Key totally lost it. For the first time he cried, he let those unshed tears to finally roll down his cheeks like a waterfall. He sobbed uncontrollably grabbing tightly at the maknae’s shirt as memories flashed before his eyes.

“…s-stop it.. m-make… s-stop”

But you have gone forever, left me forever

“Please… s-stop…”

The pain was worst; it doubled as he saw what was being shown on the screen.

If only I have love you enough

Jonghyun almost choked on the last word as a clip of a conceited Goddess flaunting her beauty while bringing laughter to the rest aired on the monitor in front of him showing how the show was viewed.

Every day is full of your smile

Onew bit hard on his lip as they showed a girl older than him yet almost looked younger with her baby face and cheerful attitude.

If only I could turn back the time

Minho looked away as a petite girl appeared in front showing her gummy smile that she felt embarrassed at her first years in the industry but had eventually became her asset.

We would be forever, you and I

Taemin gulped hardly as a maturing beauty showing her aegyo while the older guys and girls cheered on for her, appeared.

Your soft fingers that is gently touching my face

People watching from their television already got what the show was aiming for, why it was suddenly broadcasted live, why these people were chosen as the guests, and they too couldn’t handle the tears as the show continued to have that small part on the left side of the screen showing last year’s real recording while the whole screen was focused on the current guests who were if not crying hiding their face away from the camera.

I slapped it and pushed you away

Every moment of every second, flashed in his head like it was just yesterday.

The cuteness that you showed me every day

He remembered how she would constantly asked him to play with her, how he would nagged at her constant whining,

I miss everything, the softness of your skin, the face that wakes me up

How she would jump in happiness each time she’d catch a glimpse of his cute little dimples, how he would always remind her to go on diet,

If only you could come back and say it’s okay

How she would pout and stomped her feet whenever they ate together and all she could have was a little bit of everything he had on his plate, how he would each time he’s eating something delicious,

I’ll treasure you my baby

How she would get frustrated whenever they shop together and how he loved it when he picks her dress for her.

But you have gone forever, left me forever

If only I have love you enough

Every day is full of your smile

If only I could turn back the time

We would be forever, you and I

But that was all he could do, text her good morning good night and take care. Aside from that he never went far, he was afraid of holding her in his arms, scared to suffocate her with his feelings. He became a coward when it came to her.

Time was precious how could I not know that?

If only for a day, I want you back

Yet, despite his coldness at her, she didn’t leave him behind and instead consistently reminded him of her feelings. Affectionately she showered him with her gentle touches and cute little whispers. She was the one who hold onto him tightly and stayed strong for him.

But you have gone forever, left me forever

If only I have love you enough

Every day is full of your smile

If only I could turn back the time

We would be forever, you and I

All of this, he tried to run away from it. He locked himself in a room and never told anyone about his feelings, never cried, never shouted or get angry, all he did was write and write until his pencil would break in two because of his grip.

Now that I have realize, those three words that you want to hear

He was so angry at himself and blamed himself at what had happened. He never did anything for her and was now too late to change that.

How can I say it if you’re not here?

He misses her badly.

Wherever you are right now,

A year ago on the exact same day, a devastating news made everyone in the industry fell into silence and coldness. A van was caught up in a tragic accident taking the lives of everyone including the members of the girl group KARA.

It was a nightmare for everyone.

A year ago, the girls were happily filming for a two part episode of Strong Heart. They made everyone laugh at their antics, no one expected that that would be their last glimpse of the girls laughing crazily while putting their own members into hot seat by revealing dangerous secrets that only them knows.

It was such a happy moment that was soon enveloped with sadness with their sudden lost.

Everyone in the studio was crying, Onew lost a loving friend, Jonghyun lost a best friend, Minho lost a jolly friend, Taemin lost a cute and bubbly friend. Each and one of them had lost someone important to them but Key was different, he had lost Jung Nicole, a lover.

I’m sorry I loved you too late.