Twenty
Yong Hwa

I don’t even know what just happened. How did I even end up like this? I’m not even sure why I’m still standing here when I should be running after Shin Hye. I’m not aware what Na Na told her but it had to be something bad. I was just for a while with her, a couple of dates and that was all. I can barely remember her. Could it be that she told Shin Hye we still have something? But I ended it with her long ago, more than a year ago. Why would she say that? Maybe Shin Hye said she’s my girlfriend now and Na Na laughed at her or something.

No, it can’t be that. Na Na wasn’t that despicable of a girl. I refuse to believe she’d do such a thing.

Then what happened? Why is Shin Hye angry with me? Furthermore, why am I still here instead of explaining things to her or trying to clear up this misunderstanding? But it seems my legs can’t obey my orders and won’t move. My chest feels clutched and I have a hard time breathing in. I can only see at where she disappeared through.

“Aish!” I exclaim, ruffling my hair in frustration and shaking my head trying to collect my thoughts. “What the hell happened?!”

It’s a rhetoric question so I don’t wait for a divine answer, I just—finally!—step forward and follow Shin Hye’s path, I even get to her papa’s office but it’s too late, she isn’t around and when the boss sees me storming inside his wide eyes only show his surprise.

“What happened, Jung Yong Hwa?” he asks.

“Where’s Shin Hye-yah?” I ask frantically and his surprised expression changes into a confused one.

“She went home early. She just texted me saying she wasn’t feeling well,” he explains and I cuss under my breath, low enough for him not to hear.

“Aish! Is it okay if I leave earlier, too?”

“Is there something wrong?” he asks me, his expression growing more suspicious and I shake my head. I can’t tell him the reason why his daughter isn’t feeling well is because of me but I need him to let me leave earlier.

“Personal emergency. Nothing big,” I lie because I feel this misunderstanding is a big thing and I need to solve it soon unless I want to lose Shin Hye.

Lose Shin Hye… no, that can’t happen. The mere thought twists my heart and makes me feel like someone punched me in the guts knocking out the air out of my lungs and now I can’t breathe in again. The idea of not having her in my arms again, laughing so naturally, kissing her and just enjoying her company physically pains me. I stayed away from her for too long already and now that we finally left all that behind I can’t afford losing her. Not after having her and knowing exactly how perfect she fits by my side.

Even if I have to beg on my knees I will do it if that means she’ll stay with me. I don’t even know when these feelings grew so strong and to be honest I don’t even have time to be scared about it because the thought she might leave me scares me even more and I can’t let that happen.

Appa said that it was also his fault Omma left, that he should’ve taken care of her better. He regrets that and I don’t want to regret not doing my best to fix this situation. We just need to talk, that’s all.

I think our boss can see my desperation because he even stands up. “Are you really okay? Okay, you can leave early. Don’t worry, you already performed so it’s okay. Let your band mates know,” he says and nod.

“Kamsahmnida,” I say with a deep bow and quickly leaving the office to run to Shin Hye’s house.

I just text Jong Hyun letting him know that I’ll be heading out earlier tonight and start calling Shin Hye but I’m almost immediately directed to the voice mail and soon after she even turns off her mobile.

“Shin Hye-yah, please, let’s talk about this. It’s just a misunderstanding. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not like that. Let me explain,” I leave a voice mail but I doubt she’ll listen to it. Still, I try.

I don’t stop until I reach her home and once there I start knocking, calling her name out loud but there’s no answer. I’m sure she’s in there, I can feel it and I won’t leave until she comes out… or I get kicked out.

“Park Shin Hye! Please, open the door. We need to talk. I know you’re inside. Please,” I call out, hoping she’ll hear me and open this door. “I won’t leave until you open the door!” 

And I mean it I really do. I knock at the door frequently and at some point I just sit in front of it after making sure everyone hears I’ll be doing so until she opens and if she doesn’t then when her father comes he will. That works because not even five minutes after I say that the door opens.

“Shin-ah!” I exclaim, rising to my feet faster than anything else I’ve ever done.

“Jung Yong Hwa,” she greets emotionlessly. “I just opened the door to tell you to leave. I don’t want to talk right now. I told you that already,” she says, her voice cold but that’s not what shocks me, it’s the fact that her eyes are bloodshot as if she’s been crying. 

I instinctively take a step closer, reaching out for her but she steps back, making sure I can’t touch her and the gesture breaks my heart.

“Just… just tell me what happened. What did she tell you? I’m sure I can explain things and it must be a misunderstanding,” I plead, still trying to get closer but she keeps pulling back. “Shin Hye-yah…”

“You’ve gone out with many girls, haven’t you? With anyone that asked you out and fit your taste, or is that a lie?” she asks and I blink a couple of times, processing her words.

“Well, yeah, but they never meant anything serious, you need to know that. It was just… to have fun. They knew it, I knew it,” I try to justify even if what I’m saying makes me sound like a player. 

I guess I was one.

“I guess it was also to have fun how you played with me, right? How you pushed and pulled and confused me. Was that for fun? Shouldn’t you have told me so I would also know that?” Her voice raises and I’m not sure if I’m following what she means. “Why me? Why did you treat me like that? It wasn’t never a problem with anyone else but me. Why? And if I was the problem then why were we going out now? Is it just for fun, too?!”

“No!” I hurry to deny that accusation. She is misunderstanding everything and taking it for the worse. “It isn't just for fun. Shin Hye. You’re not like the rest—”

“Ha! Couldn’t you even think of a less cliché phrase? ‘You’re not like the rest.’ Seriously? What’s next? ‘I’ve never felt like this before’? Are you taking all your lines from dramas?” she spats and I actually take a step backwards because the rage in her words feels like actual blows.

“But you are different and I’ve never felt like this. It is true,” I insist but she laughs.

“You really are a player, aren’t you? You know what? only if you can really explain things without sounding like someone else wrote the lines for you, feel free to tell me the kind of game you were playing with me. For now, it’s game over,” she states coldly, taking another step away from me, her eyes showing as much pain as I’m feeling right now. “And now, please, leave my house. I don’t want to explain what happened to Appa.”

She then opens her door and steps inside again and I can’t stop her, I can’t move, I can only hear her words in my head. Over and over again, mercilessly, twisting and tearing my heart.

Game over.
 

See? I didn't forget the story again although I'm not sure if I'll be able to update next week 'cos I'll be out of the country. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Fighting!
Bel, xx