Thirteen
Shin Hye

 

I turn around after cleaning the table, ready to go for the next one. They will all shine before the bar opens. But instead of going for my next victim, I run into Jung Yong Hwa. The surprise makes me lose my balance and for a second I think I’ll end up on the floor, but he grabs my arms and helps me to stay on my feet, even if it’s his fault I almost fell.

“Hey,” he says, his hands still on my arms. “Careful there, you don’t want to have an accident in your work place.”

“You startled me,” I tell him, not only because he just showed up out of nowhere, but also because he’s talking to me, holding me instead of ignoring me, which is what’s been the norm for the last couple of days. “And you’re here earlier.” His band mates haven’t arrived yet and normally they are the first to come, always willing to help. We’ve really grown fond of each other and the only one that stays outcast is Yong Hwa. Not even Min Ha has arrived yet and Dad is busy in his office, so right now it’s just Jung Yong Hwa and I in this empty bar. And he is still holding me.

I shove him off as nicely as I can because his hands on my arms are making me self-conscious. That and the way he’s staring at me, so intently as if he’s trying to find all the secrets of life in my eyes.

“I came to help,” he replies and I nod. That’s good. “And I wanted to see you.”

“Wh-what?” I blurt out, too startled by what he’s said. Then he smiles, he really does that, a toothy grin and I think I might be dreaming because why would he just suddenly change his attitude and be all nice to me? I thought he wanted me as far as possible and he hated me, that’s why he treated me as if I were thin air. “Who are you?”

He laughs now but I’m serious. Who can tell me some alien didn’t come at night and switched his brain or something? “You know me, Shin Hye, I don’t have to introduce myself again, do I?” I don’t know what to answer, I really don’t. “Or maybe I do. I’ve been a real arse all this time, haven’t I? And I’m sure I just keep giving you proof that I have split personality,” he continues and I just stare at him, waiting for the moment he confesses he’s an alien impersonating Jung Yong Hwa. “But it’s not that.”

I pinch my own arms, trying to wake up but it hurts and I did it with more strength than necessary and now it burns. “Ouch!” I cry out, looking at my now sore spot.

“What did you do?” he asks, going for my arm to see where I dug my nails. “Why did you do this?” he demands to know later, his eyes severe on me.

“I thought I was dreaming because you’re confusing and I dunno, I thought this is how all alien invasions start,” is my reply and his expression is blank before he bursts out laughing.

“Silly girl,” mumbles Yong Hwa. “But I guess it’s my own fault you don’t believe me right now. Park Shin Hye,” his other hand, the one that’s not holding my injured arm, rises to cup my face and my eyes widen in complete shock. I can’t move, I don’t know what to do. “Mianhe,” he finishes and that confuses me further. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. For pushing then pulling then pushing again. In my defence, I was just trying to figure out what to do with you.”

I frown because I’m not sure how to react to those words. I’m not sure if I like how he’s speaking about me now, but I also think I understand what he’s trying to say. Not sure, though. I might as well be interpreting his words as what I want to hear and not what he wants to say.

“What to do with me?” I echo and he nods.

“Deh,” he confirms. “You have an effect on me that no one else has and I didn’t know how to react. I tried to fight it, then give in, then fight it again because it scared me.”

I take a sharp breath, not daring to give meaning to his words until he clearly states what he is trying to say.

“And now you know what ‘to do with me’?” I question and my voice sounds a bit shaky. Maybe it’s because he’s too close.

“Not quite.” I roll my eyes and push him so he can stop touching me.

I’m not up for more of his games. This whole pushing and pulling is exhausting and even if I don’t like him when he ignores me and treats me as if I didn’t exist, I prefer that to this game because it toys with me and my feelings. It makes me have hope and then crushes it so I don’t want to play this anymore. I never wanted to play.

“Jung Yong Hwa, do me a favour and don’t use me to figure out your own problems. I don’t want to play your games so try to stick to one course of actions and leave me out of it. Whatever I cause on you, believe me it was not intentional. Mianhe if I’ve done you wrong but please stop this game,” I tell him, taking another step back, away from him.

I can’t believe still today my heart flutters when he’s near, despite all what he’s done, despite the way he gives me hope and then burns it out. Despite him showing me he’s not the kind of guy I should want, yet I still do.

I’m tired of this.

“Shin Hye,” he calls me but I shake my head.

“Your whole push and pull… I’m tired of it. I shouldn’t be part of this. You shouldn’t treat me like this, okay? If you’re gonna ignore me, keep doing it. Don’t come here trying to be nice and friendly if you’re still not sure of what you want and then you’re gonna push me away again. I’m not a toy!” I end up exclaiming, ranting because his actions have hurt me and I’m angry with him for treating me like this. I haven’t done anything to deserve this.

Yong Hwa takes a step closer to me, trying to end the distance between us but I raise my hands as a barrier between us and take another step away. Yet he tries again and I react the same way, I try to keep the distance between us even if he keeps approaching. If he doesn’t stop I’ll push him. I’m done with this.

“Stop it!” I cry out stomping my foot, trying to intimidate him but he doesn’t listen, he takes another step towards me and when I try to retract, I stumble against a wall. I curse under my breath because he’s cornered me.

“Shin Hye, listen to me,” he says his right hand now pressed on the wall behind me, caging me. I try to escape to the other side, but now he does the same with the left one. I snort, annoyed at this. “Hear me out, okay?” he requests and I fold my arms but I nod. “I won’t push you away or pretend I don’t know you. I can’t do that anymore.”

“Yeah right,” I snort, not even minding I’m being rude. In my defence, his record betrays his words.

“I mean it. Why don’t we start over?” he proposes and I look at him as he’s grown a second head. “Hello, I’m Jung Yong Hwa, pleased to meet you.” He pulls back and bows curtly.

For a moment I think of accepting this and start over, but then I remember this has happened before. He apologised and then did the same. He kept playing with me and I have no reason to believe him again.

“Just stay away,” I end up saying, not believing how much his actions have hurt me until now.

“Shin Hye!” he calls when I walk past him but I ignore him “Park Shin Hye!” He grabs my wrist and makes me turn to face him again.

“Stay away!” I shout. “Keep doing what you were doing and stay away.”

“I can’t do it anymore,” he confesses and I groan, tired of this. “I can’t and I don’t want to. Come on, give me another chance. Please,” he pleads and I laugh humourlessly because this is surreal. It almost looks as if I broke up with him and he’s begging me to take him back.

“You know what?” I start. “This is insane. We have nothing going on. We just work at the same place but you owe me nothing. There’s no reason why you should be even asking for a second chance because it’s just ab—”

I don’t get to finish what I wanted to say because Yong Hwa pulls me towards him and the movement catches me off guard, so I just stumble against him as his other hand grabs me from the back of my neck, pulling me until his lips crush against mine.

I'm so sorry for the long absence! At first it was because of university but I finished it (YES, I FINISHED MY DEGREE!!) and then I just got caught up watching dramas and writing my other stories (If your have Wattpad, you can find me there). Mianhe! But don't worry, I'm already working on the next chapter so it'll come soon as my way to apologise to you all. I hope you are still reading this.

Bel, xx